“Makoto! Give it to me.” She moved fast; I probably wouldn’t have caught it without my fast reflexes. I was up and at the edge of the bed in two seconds, Eli on the opposite side ready to take my precious book.
“No. Midnight and I want to finish!” I demanded.
“Oh Starlight, Midnight, too! Both of you, give me the book or else,” she threatened, her eyes began to glitter.
“Or what?” I dared.
The thought of Eli’s ability to temporarily erase an individual’s memories came to my mind.
I wonder if I’ll ever get a chance to confront her about how she erased my memory of Jeffrey?
Her eyes went wide as she froze in place. “How...how do you know about that?” she whispered. Sorrow hung off her words.
Aww shit.
“Here’s your chance.” Midnight announced.
I sighed.“Ryder told me. He said you did it, so I wouldn’t have a panic attack each time I saw him in the halls. Ryder said he would have done the same thing if he was in your shoes,” I explained. Midnight sat at the edge of my mind, listening in.
“Aren’t you, um, mad?” she questioned.
Not really. I’m upset she didn’t tell me and I had to hear it from Ryder, but her intentions were good. I’m not gonna be upset over it. What’s done is done.
I was ready to hear her excuse, but she stood there before bowing.
My eyes went wide at the sudden gesture, Midnight just as confused and stunned as me.
“I’m sorry for not telling you. I know I should have asked your permission before ridding such memories, but I panicked and well, ya. There’s no excuse. I’m sorry you didn’t hear it from me,” she apologized, staying in position.
I could hear the regret in her voice as she apologized, truly giving off the impression she truly felt bad regarding her quick decision in erasing my memories regarding the Professor Sepherant who we all now knew was Jeffrey. I had been ready to lecture her when the topic was brought up, especially if she dared tried to defend her actions, but now that she’d apologized, I didn’t have any anger in me to be overdramatic.
“Raise your head, EliaseAnne,” I ordered.
She obeyed, her eyes became glossy.
“Eli, don’t cry. I’m not mad. I understand what you had to do. I don’t hate you,” I explained, hoping my admission would calm the potential waterworks.
Eli gave off the impression that nothing concerned her, but I knew she’d have a soft spot, that area being extra tender when it came down to my approval of her.
I was happy she was fine with waiting for me to figure out the relationship developing between her, Midnight and myself.
We needed more time with her and now with Anya’s approaching death anniversary, the person who needed me the most at the moment was Ryder.
“Are you sure?” Her hesitant voice pricked my heart.
“Eli. I’m sure. We’re fine. I’ve known for a while now. It’s fine. You’re forgiven. Just don’t do it again unless you ask permission or have a good reason like previously,” I noted.
She nodded, giving us a moment of silence till her eyes landed on the book in my hand. I smiled mischievously as I lifted the book up and opened to the page I left off.
“Now, what is a double side– EEEK!” I shrieked as I attempted to avoid Eli’s grasp, ducking under her raised arms before rotating my body to face her – my short legs were no match for her long ones as she caught me in one giant leap. We lost our balance; my body fell back, bringing Eli down for the ride as we fell onto the bed.
“Dammit, Eli—” I began to scowl at her before my words were caught in my throat, my face only inches away from Eli’s.
Her wide emerald eyes looked mesmerizing up close – those dark green orbs flickered from their usual colour to a mustard yellow; the two-tone alteration only noticeable up close.
Her scent engulfed my senses; the fresh mint mixed with the cherry blossom shampoo made her smell absolutely divine.
I blushed as my heart skipped a beat; my eyes landed on her red lips. Bad Mako. No kissing of the gorgeous female, fairy shifter above you.
“Tempting indeed,” Midnight commented, her wave of attraction not helping me in my dilemma.
“Mako...” Eli whispered, before leaning downward.
I didn’t move, ready to feel her lips against mine when the door opened.
“Mako, I’m bac– Oh.”
We both glanced at the door, Marcus stood there, holding his cellphone in his hand with a stunned expression on his face. He took a moment to stare at our position before an amused smirk formed on his lips.
“I know Kai told me not to come by, but I wanted to check on Mako. I’ll come back when you guys are done. Carry on,” he encouraged, ready to turn and leave the room when Eli’s body went rigid.
“Kai? Did you just say Kai was here?” Eli questioned.
“Ya, Kai. He was outside the door when I walked into the hallway. He said he was bringing some snacks for Mako, but decided he’d come back lat—”
“Son of a—” Eli jumped off the bed and rushed out the door.
We both stared at the door before we heard yelling followed by a crash.
“I SWEAR TO STARLIGHT, KAI! DON’T YOU DARE DRAW THAT! KAI!”
Marcus turned back to face me, shrugging off the chaos happening outside as if it was nothing.
“Should I even ask how you two got into that position?” he inquired.
“It’s Eli’s fault! I was minding my own business, reading this manga about these two girls who fall in love and she wouldn’t tell me what a double-sided dildo was!” I argued, emphasizing my need to learn what the silicone device was.
Marcus stood there, his mouth half opened as he gawked at me.
He closed his mouth before his eyes landed on my book and then gazed at the bookshelf next to the bed.
“That’s...the book is a part of her hentai collection,” he explained.
“Hentai? What’s that?” I questioned, tilting my head.
“It’s basically readable porn, Firefly. Just animated,” he replied, his face blank.
“Oh.”
We stood there for a moment in silence.
“Well, why didn’t she say so? Jeez. That still doesn’t explain what the dildo is. Marcus, explain. How are Lucy and Lia going to have sex if neither of them has a penis?” I argued, dying to solve this mystery.
Marcus was about to say something when his eyes glowed – his dragon took control.
He smiled at my shocked expression before a low chuckle escaped his lips.
“Good afternoon, Princess. Marcus is unavailable at the moment, but I can answer your questions.”
“As long as you explain, and I still have time to finish this before Eli comes back,” I countered.
“Whatever you like Princess. Now a double-sided dildo is…”
Chapter Sixteen
I finished my glass of chocolate milk, my hair was still air drying from the cold shower I had taken after that detailed, descriptive lesson. Talk about SEX 101 for female lovemaking.
I wasn’t even going to question how Marcus’ dragon spirit – Ryuu, knew all that information. It was nice to finally learn his name after already meeting him once before.
Ryuu was apparently Japanese for dragon spirit. When I looked into his eyes, I could see the wisdom he carried in those red-orange globes, the two-toned colour always reminded me of fire.
He answered every single sex question I had – as if he was a sex education professor. I was impressed by his vast knowledge, and he didn’t make the conversation feel awkward, even with him being a male. He encouraged me to take a shower seeing as Ryder would be back soon, and Marcus would probably fall asleep due to his lengthened stay.
I thanked him for his lesson, leaving Eli’s room, after I finished the book and placed it back in its slot on Eli’s hentai shelf. I made a mental note to find where book two was when she wasn’t in her room, wanting to know what happened in their
relationship. Who knew Yuri manga could be so intriguing?
I turned around to face the empty kitchen and living room, the last of the sun’s rays disappeared along the horizon; the stars began to make their appearance in the purple-blue sky.
Daniel was still at Knightwood, mentioning that he wanted to get some training done and he’d be back in the earlier hours. Marcus decided to tag along and stated he’d “watch” from the sidelines. From the way his eyes drooped and having yawned five times before leaving, I really doubted he’d last three minutes before dozing off.
Kai and EliaseAnne were nowhere to be found; Eli broke at least seven glasses in her outburst. I think they were both hiding, not wanting to deal with Daniel’s lectured. I bet Elias had already given Eli her portion of annoyance; he hated when Eli broke a glass.
Ryder still hadn’t returned, leaving me alone. Midnight and the others were asleep, exhausted from today’s events. It was the first time I’d experienced true loneliness. It didn’t feel like the darkness I’d felt when I was in a coma, but I did notice the gripping sadness in my heart.
Funny how in such a short period of time, I’d learned to depend on having so many people around me, compared to the cycles I was left alone to defend and care for myself. I had to remind myself that there were going to be times where I’d be alone. I couldn’t always have the boys or Eli by my side.
I heard a click, followed by the door opening and closing. I turned to see Ryder – a very disturbed looking Ryder. I stood there blinking at him as he walked past, headed straight to the library. The door closed shut, silence followed.
I frowned. Well shit, he didn’t even notice me.
“Something must have happened,” Rose’s sleepy voice whispered as her presence faded away from my mind, returning to sleep. As tired as I was, I couldn’t sleep knowing Ryder was in that state.
I decided to wait an hour – wanting to give him some alone time before checking on him.
Ryder had been busy non-stop this past week, going from meeting to meeting with the headmaster, Matthew, and Karen or Winterlya. He still wanted to continue his meditation sessions while he dealt with family issues. He wouldn’t give me all the details, usually rushing out after sleeping in or quietly walking into his room when I was already asleep, but when he had a second or two to spare, he explained he was assisting his mom in preparation of Anya’s celebration of life ceremony.
They had never discovered Anya’s remains, all leads in finding the purple-eyed, demon shifter went cold after the five-cycle mark, the case had been dismissed. It was assumed she’d died in the facilities. There would be no way to find her remains even if they narrowed down which facility she had been taken too.
Once you met your fate at the facility, your body was burned, and ashes were thrown into the toilet – flushed away to wherever the stream of water led. There was no ceremony or moment of mourning. Shifter’s died every day and that was how life went on.
I noticed the change in him – the nightmares hadn’t stopped since my surprise party. They only worsened as the days went by.
I began to worry about him. He was only getting a maximum of five hours sleep; constantly waking up from the nightmares began to give him dark circles.
The others looked just as worried, but Kai informed me that it was his usual behavior when Anya’s death anniversary approached.
He had to keep himself busy or things didn’t go well. I was fine with that and tried my best to support him when I could and not ask questions. I just wanted him to take care of himself more and not go over his limit.
An hour went by rather quickly, faster than I expected before I walked to the library door, knocking lightly on the door before I entered. I peeked inside, my eyes immediately went to the corner chair in the room – Ryder sat in his usual chair, his face in his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees.
My heart sank at his troubled appearance, aching to comfort him. I closed the door quietly, before making my way to his sitting figure.
I could see the tension in his body; the light tremble was enough to tell me how bad the situation was. I knelt down before him. I didn’t want to touch him just yet, in fear he’d flinch due to the tiny possibility he didn’t hear my entrance.
“Ryder, baby?”
My voice was low; I hoped my soft-spoken tone was enough to get through to him. He didn’t budge at first – his body grew still for a moment before his head lifted, his glossy, Tyrian eyes met my gaze.
We stared at one another; the time ticked by as we sat in silence. I wouldn’t force him to talk to me, but I’d at least let him know I was right here, ready to support him.
He closed his eyes before lifting his arms out in an outstretched hug.
I leaned into him; my arms encircled his neck as I pressed my body against his in a hug, squeezing him tightly, as he pulled me into the chair; his head rested on my shoulder as his body continued to tremble.
My hand caressed his short, black hair, sticking with a consistent pattern to soothe him. I listened as he sobbed against me, his sniffs and exhales muffled against my shirt as he cried. I continued my hug, allowed him to shed every tear he’d been holding back. He finally calmed – the shivering came to a stop as he pulled back far enough to look at me, but still had his body pressed against mine.
“I’m sorry I – I shouldn’t be crying. It’s not noble of me.” He apologized, lowering his head in shame.
“Ryder, allowing me to hold and comfort you during a time you need support is the noblest thing I’ve witnessed. Anyone can gather enough courage to stride onto a battlefield, but it takes strength to allow your walls to fall and reveal that you are also an individual with a heart and admit that life is hard. You shouldn’t think badly of such,” I whispered. My hand cradled his face; my thumb wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek.
“But, I can’t show that side to anyone at the castle – not even to my own family. I can’t show weakness or discomfort. I can’t reveal how upsetting it is when my father continues his useless attempts at setting me up with someone I don’t even love, for his personal gain. I can’t tell my mother that after six cycles, I still have vivid nightmares about Anya, increasing in frequency days before her death anniversary. I even feel ashamed for breaking down in front of the others when you were in a coma. What leader cries and shows weakness? What leader breaks down over such pitiful reasons? My tears won’t bring Anya back. My sorrows won’t stop my father from trying to decide my future for me. The only thing that changed thanks to such heartbreak was the beautiful woman before me. Other than that, such weaknesses are nothing more but, a hindrance,” he confessed, and his eyes reflected how aggravated he was.
I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing his words to sink in before I opened them – my face grew serious and my eyes held power as I concentrated on his.
“Ryder Carter. The Stralight gods blessed us with life. With such blessings come emotions. They can be our strength and our weakness. They can lead us to victory, giving us, the courage and motivation needed to rid our opposing enemies, or it can lead us to our downfall, blinding us from realizing how underpowered one can be. We are meant to FEEL Ryder. This life won’t be filled with just happiness. You have to experience sadness, anger, fear, and lust. Even happiness and pride can bring you down or overshadow concerns that need consideration. Your sadness, your anger, even those bloody nightmares are a reminder that you are alive. It’s a reminder that after all the challenges and struggles, you lived to tell the tale. Would I wish for you to always experience such emotions? No. But, would I wish for the gods to steal such experiences from you? I certainly would not. The pain we deal with in life is what shapes us – the sadness and regret that clings to our beings are there so that when we experience happiness, it is all the sweeter because we know that sadness or regret. The anger that builds and bursts out in an act of rage teaches us, and the others around us, our limits and how to control it or walk away. No one should ever look down upon you for be
ing what the gods created. Both humans and shifters alike have feelings and such emotions should never be deemed as useless. You are a wonderful leader, Ryder. You take on the burdens of your fellow knights, down to their feelings and struggles. I know you don’t understand why such a gift was given to you...but with time, you will understand its purpose. Don’t let your gift affect your own feelings. You have every right to break down and focus on your own troubles. Never consider it a hindrance, because it has shaped you into the leader that many look up to...including me.” I leaned forward, kissing him ever so lightly. I prayed my words would empower him – give him enough strength to move forward.
I wanted him to pick himself up and strive for what he wanted in life, even if such desires were harder to achieve.
I needed my confident Ryder back, but with a newfound purpose; a mission to mold himself into the man he wished to be – a knight who’d never allow such trivial shackles to hold him as he continued to lead his fellow men and land to salvation, his princess by his side.
Those tender lips pressed back; at first with hesitancy, but progressed into something deeper. We kissed as if time had stilled, the world stopped to give us an eternity to demonstrate our passionate love. It wasn’t till our lungs begged to breathe that we pulled apart, breathless as we pressed our foreheads against one another.
“Mako…I—” He hesitated, but his heavy exhales carried on. I waited patiently, focused on decreasing my own rapid breathing, while I attempted to ignore the throbbing need that spread through me. I wanted more than just kisses.
I wanted my hands to feel the warmth of his skin as I sucked and bit at his neck. I needed to feel more than those luscious lips on mine; I needed to feel them trail all along my body.
His tongue skilled enough to please me in more than one opening and I wanted it. I craved to feel him within me – to connect us together as we rode the waves of ecstasy I’d imagined we’d experience together. But, did he want the same?
He looked up at me, his hands moved to cradle my face. I watched the remnants of hesitation and fear fade away – replaced by a renewed confidence and determination.
Tainted Rose (The Starlight Gods Series Book 2) Page 23