by Naomi Martin
The scream that bursts from my throat is savage. Primal. The fear inside of me sears every cell in my body. My skin feels like it’s on fire. I thrash and writhe, held fast to the table they have me strapped to. They’re going to kill me.
Raven’s face fills my eyes. She’s smiling. Laughing. She’s covered in blood. Her teeth are stained red and it drips from her chin. She’s going to kill me. Can’t let it happen. I have to kill her, or she’ll kill me.
I have to kill Raven.
Chapter Thirty-One
Raven
The smile that was on my face curls into a frown and the tears of joy vanish, replaced by tears of horror. Of grief. Gray thrashes against the bonds on the table; the howls coming from his mouth are inhuman. Terrifying. They send goosebumps up and down my body as the sound wrenches my heart.
I look up at Zane and Elliot, both of them standing on the other side of the table, looking shocked, more than anything.
“What in the hell happened?” Elliot asks.
Zane looks at him and shakes his head. “I have no idea.”
Kayla rushes into the room and sticks a needle into Gray’s arm. I channel a flow of Spirit to reinforce the bonds that hold him to the table. His thrashing lessens. Gets slower. And, a few minutes later, stops altogether. I stand quietly a moment, watching his chest rise and fall in the rhythm of a deep sleep. I’m too stunned and too heartbroken to say anything, so I stand there, staring at Gray.
“What happened in here?” Kayla asks.
“We were talking,” Elliot says, his voice soft. “He was normal. He was back to being himself. He was the old Gray we all know.”
“And then Raven walked in and he lost it,” Zane adds.
Kayla frowns and looks at me. I shake my head, not knowing what to say. I swallow hard.
“They’re right. For a moment there, when he looked at me, he was the old Gray again,” I confirm. “And then it was like a switch was flipped in his head and he was trying to lunge at me. He was trying to kill me.”
Kayla lets out a long breath, her frown deepening. “So, he’s been implanted with a command to kill you. That’s awesome.”
“Can you do anything about it?” Elliot asks.
“Can this command be removed?” Zane adds.
Kayla shakes her head. “I… I don’t know.”
Kayla is our resident expert and if she doesn’t have any answers, I’m not sure who would—outside of Villa’s crew in the Pit, anyway. But there has to be a way. There just has to be.
“The weave they used in his head could just degrade over time, right?” I offer hopefully. “I mean, all weaves degrade eventually, so maybe this one will, too.”
“Assuming there’s an active weave in his head, that’s possible,” she says. “But there is also the possibility the weave was crafted in a way that it would be continually renewed by his own supernatural energy.”
“But he’s not an Elemental,” I point out.
“I’ve been doing a lot of reading and in some cases, it doesn’t matter,” she goes on. “As a supernatural being, he’s got a reserve of energy inside of him that normals don’t have. It’s possible this weave could be self-renewing from that well of energy.”
“Jesus,” Elliot mutters.
“And that’s if they didn’t actually alter his brain chemistry to implant this order,” she says. “There is also the possibility they damaged him permanently.”
“How will we know?” I ask.
“We’re going to have to get into his head,” she says simply.
“We could do more damage,” I reply. “We could even kill him.”
Zane looks at me, those cool blue eyes of his boring into my soul. His lips compress into a tight line.
“I am certain Gray would assume the risk,” he tells me. “He would rather not live, than live without you.”
Elliot nods. “He’s right, Raven,” he says. “Gray wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he hurt you. And he certainly wouldn’t want to live knowing he could never be with you again.”
“What are you guys saying?” I ask.
“You need to do what you can to figure out what’s driving him to want to kill you,” Zane says. “And you need to undo it, if you can.”
I look at Gray, watching his eyes fluttering behind their lids. He moans like he’s in pain, and the tears spill from the corners of my eyes. I turn to Kayla.
“Is it something that can be done?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I mean, this is uncharted territory,” she says. “But, in theory, if they used Spirit and implanted a weave, we should be able to remove it. Again, this is all theory—academic speculation, at this point.”
I shrug, feeling something in my heart lighten. With all we’re learning about how to use the Elements—more every day—we’re doing things I had never thought possible. And if Villa really did crack that code and figured out how to Compel somebody to follow his orders, if he was able to program them, then it stands to reason that we can undo that programming.
“Stilling a beating heart was theory, too, until we did it,” I say with a confidence I don’t actually feel.
The problem for me is that we don’t know what’s going to happen. We don’t know how this will turn out. If we go poking around in his head with weaves of Spirit, we could cause permanent brain damage. We could kill him. We could even burn out this well of supernatural energy Kayla’s talking about.
Or, from my perspective, the worst thing that could happen is that we burn out the bond between us. What if we somehow short-circuit everything inside of him and undo the Joining? What if we extinguish his beacon? What if, when we’re done poking and prodding around inside his brain, he doesn’t remember us?
I rake my fingers through my hair, all of the what ifs firing through my brain battering me with wave after wave of fear.
“What do you think we should do?” I ask Kayla.
She frowns and shakes her head. “I can’t tell you what—”
“If you were in my position, what would you do?”
She picks at the chipped polish on her fingernail. “As things are right now, it’s possible you’ll never get the Gray you love back. He may want to kill you… forever,” she says softly. “If it were me, and my only chance of getting back the man I love was something like this—undoubtedly foolish and dangerous—I’d still do it. If you do nothing, you’ve already lost him. And if it doesn’t work, he still wants to kill you, and you still lose him. Any spark of hope, no matter how small, is better than the cost of doing nothing.”
I look at Zane and Elliot, my heart swelling with my love for them. I can tell they have the same fears that I do. But I also know they’re with Kayla on this. They’d rather take the chance at keeping us all together than leave Gray as he is now. Especially knowing it could lead to something worse down the road. If I do nothing, I know I can’t keep him chained to a table forever. And what then?
I nod slowly. “Okay. Let’s try this.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Zane
“They’re going to try to fix Gray,” I say. “If there is a weave in his head, they’re going to pull it out.”
Dora nods. “I hope it works,” she replies. “For all of your sakes.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“So, what do you need?” Elliot asks, then turns away when Dora’s eyes land on him. “Sorry. I just… I wanted to get back to the med facility to…”
Dora nods and gives him a small smile “I understand,” she responds. “I just wanted to talk to you two for a moment. I have some concerns.”
“About?” I ask.
“If this procedure is unsuccessful, what are our plans?” she poses, straight to the point. “I tried speaking with Raven about it, but she would not hear it. Refused to discuss it. But we have to be practical. If Gray cannot be… fixed, something will need to be done about him.”
“What do you have in mind, Dora?” Zane asks.
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking for your input.”
I exchange a look with Elliot, and he blanches. He and I discussed this earlier, but we hadn’t come to any conclusions. It’s a situation fraught with emotion and there’s no easy solution. I know what Dora wants me to say, but I cannot force myself to say it. Gray is my brother in all but blood. He’s closer to me than even my actual blood family ever was.
“I cannot kill him, Dora,” I finally say. “I know that’s what you want, but I cannot do it.”
Elliot shakes his head. “I can’t, either,” he says. “Not that I could actually, physically do it. But you know what I mean.”
Dora and I both laugh softly. But that soon fades and the oppressive weight that’s been in the office since we sat down returns, pressing down on us even harder. Silence descends over the room, the only sound the ticking of a clock on the wall behind Dora.
“We’ve got a problem, then,” she says. “We can’t just put him out. He’ll come back and he’ll tear this whole place down to get to her.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I considered that.”
“The only other option there is, as far as I can see, is for Raven to run,” Dora says flatly. “And keep running. She’ll live her life constantly looking over her shoulder, because the instant she lets her guard down, Gray will be there.”
A faint smile curves my lips. “You are really good at the whole manipulation thing,” I say. “But you’re not as good at it as you think.”
“Come on,” Elliot joins. “Even I saw through that, and I’m the most naive person in the room.”
Dora smiles and leans back in her chair. We really are in a jam here; she is right about that. And the answers aren’t even close to being simple. But then she leans forward again, folding her hands on her desk in front of her. She looks at me, her gaze intense.
“There is one other option,” she says.
“And what’s that?” I ask.
“We could turn him over to Villa,” she states simply.
“You do that, and you’ll definitely see him again in the middle of a fight,” Elliot says. “You don’t really think if you gave him to Villa, that he wouldn’t use Gray against us?”
Dora looks down at her hands and I look away. I know what she’s actually getting at with her suggestion. It’s a way to kill Gray but keep the blood off our hands. Of course, Villa would use him. Dora knows that. But if he threw Gray into a battle against us, he could very well be killed in the fighting. Problem solved. He’s dead, we didn’t do it, Raven is safe again, everybody wins.
Elliot looks from Dora to me, then sits back in his seat as the realization dawns on him belatedly. He stares down at his own hands, folded in his lap, an inscrutable expression on his face. In many ways, although he favors Gray and tries to be more like him, Elliot is still as pragmatic as I am… most of the time. He understands what Dora is getting at and doesn’t speak against it, obviously seeing the wisdom—or, at least, the cowardice posing as wisdom—in her suggestion.
Which leaves us all in a quiet spot, all of us feeling like assholes for suggesting it and even bigger assholes for not speaking against it.
“Let’s see how the procedure works out, first,” I suggest. “If it doesn’t work, we’ll make a decision then.”
“I hope it doesn’t come to that,” Elliot says.
Dora nods absently. “Me, too.”
We’re just about to stand when she looks at us again, and something in her face has me sitting back down. She looks troubled. As troubled as I’ve ever seen her, anyway. Dora is even better than I am at controlling and masking her emotions. But her mask has slipped, and I see something in her eyes.
She’s worried about something.
“What is it?” I ask.
“We’ve gotten word from our sources. The President is going to give a speech in the next couple of days. He’s going to announce our existence, as well as offer evidence to show what a threat we are,” she says. “Also, Villa is using the political capital he’s gained to mount a major offensive against us. We don’t know when or where he’s looking to strike yet. But we need to be ready to either mobilize or defend.”
“Something is telling me he’s on his way here,” I tell her. “We’ve never been able to account for Viv or Lucas. Either one of them could have easily told him where to find us.”
“I thought of that, too. Whatever the case may be, though, we need to be ready,” she said. “I have a feeling it’s coming soon—so, not to be insensitive or anything, but if you can, tell Raven and Kayla to hurry up with what they’re doing.”
I give her a curt nod. “I will.”
Elliot nods at her, too, though he looks a bit more pensive about it. She gives me a tight smile and we head out. We’re silent as we walk along the corridor for a minute, both of us lost in our own heads. There are a lot of things happening at once, and none of it is good news for us.
We round a corner and almost run into Coral as she’s heading the other way. She has a cell phone pressed to her ear and flashes us an apologetic smile. I step aside and let her walk on, and as she walks down the hallway, with my enhanced hearing, I hear her say, “Don’t worry, I’m on it. I will make sure it’s taken care of personally. He won’t see the sunrise tomorrow morning, okay? Great. I’ll see you then.”
It strikes me as more than a little odd and I’m tempted to follow her. See what she’s up to. There was just something in her voice and in the way she looked at me that struck me as false. It makes me think she’s up to something. It’s entirely possible I’m being paranoid, but the tickling in the back of my mind increases and I have the cold certainty that she was talking about Gray. I’m as certain of it as I have ever been.
“We’re going to have to do something about her,” I mutter.
“About who? Coral?” Elliot asks. “Why?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
We step onto the elevator and take it to the floors below. Kayla and Raven have already both told us we can’t be in the procedure room while they’re working, but we can watch it from the observation room next door.
It’s not ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but I recognize it as wise. Elliot and I would only get in the way and distract them. And for this, for what they’re going to attempt, they need to be as focused as they’ve ever been in their lives.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Raven
Gray lays unconscious, strapped to the table in front of me, and I can’t stop my heart from fluttering. I’ve never seen him look so fragile or vulnerable in all the time I’ve known him. My heart hurts to see him like this. To have seen the hatred for me in his eyes. The fear of me.
“Are you ready?” Kayla asks.
I shake my head. “No, not really.”
A wavering smile touches her lips and she nods. “I know the risks are great,” she says. “But even the risks have to outweigh what happens if we don’t do something.”
“I know you’re right,” I say. “I’m just scared.”
“I would think there was something wrong with you if you weren’t,” she replies. “But, if this goes well, you’ll have him back. And that’s the goal here.”
I look at Kayla and marvel at the changes I see in her. “You have grown so much,” I say. “I like this person you’ve become. Confident. Strong.”
“I wouldn’t be, if not for you,” she tells me. “You believed in me. You talked to me like a real person. Valued my opinion. It meant—it means—a lot to me. You helped me find my confidence, and you helped me find my purpose. Finding your meaning can change you in a million different ways.”
I smile at that and look down at the man on the table in front of me. I raise my eyes to stare at the mirrored window set into the wall across from me, knowing Zane and Elliot are both behind it, watching intently. I think about the million ways all three of these amazing men have changed me. They’ve helped me discover who I am. They’ve helped me find my own m
eaning and purpose. And I can only hope I’ve helped them a fraction as much as they’ve helped me.
I blow out a long breath and give Kayla a nod. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
“Okay,” she says, a small grin on her face. “We’ve got this.”
We both hold our hands out, our palms hovering a couple of inches over Gray’s head. We each channel a flow of Spirit, delicately threading our weaves into his head. Gray mumbles and stirs, sending a spike of adrenaline through me, but he remains asleep. I let out a small breath of relief and turn my focus back onto the weaves.
“Do you feel that?” Kayla asks.
I close my eyes and concentrate on the weave. It’s not long before I feel it butt up against something solid. Something hard. And something pulsing with energy.
“What is that?” I ask.
“It’s a hardened weave,” she says. “I read about it not that long ago. And it’s just like I thought, it’s self-sustaining. It’s feeding on his supernatural energy.”
“So how do we get it out?”
She looks at me and I see the answer in her sorrowful eyes. I shake my head, denying it. I refuse to believe there’s nothing we can do. Kayla backs her thread out and drops her hands to the table, leaning forward on them. I grit my teeth and probe the edges of the hardened shell of the weave they stuck into him, searching for cracks, for some way to slip my own weave inside of it.
“This can’t be,” I say miserably. “There has to be a way around it. There has to be a way to crack that weave.”
“If there is, I don’t know what,” Kayla admits, her voice thick with emotion.
I keep probing the shell, searching for something I can use to crack into it. There has to be something. There just has to be. But the surface of it is smooth. Flawless. It’s like rolling a marble in my hand. I feel my heart sink as I back my weave out of his head. I slump forward, laying my head on his chest, and feel the tears spilling from my eyes.
This can’t be the way this ends. I can’t lose Gray like this. It’s not fair. It’s just not fair. My mind drifts back through the memories he and I have built together. I think of all of the laughter and good times we’ve shared. And, most of all, I think of the love we’ve built between us. The love and bond I share with Gray fills me with a warmth that inflates my heart like a balloon.