by Xyla Turner
He smiled at me, then realized that I was on the move, “What’s up brother? You look like you are ready to kill somebody. You need a wingman?”
Fuck. I probably do need a wingman, so I will have a witness. But then, I would have to explain to him my relationship with her and open that up for scrutiny. Well, maybe I needed a fresh opinion because I was fucking addicted.
“Yeah, come on,” I climbed in and started the car.
I drove to the school and on the way there, I told Matthew everything. How it started at the Gala, then her apartment, at the school until today. I left out all the details of our crazy sex-capades, however, he got the gist, when he said, “So, you are whipped.”
Cringing, I looked at him. My brother was the same height as me, with the same jaw line, but resembled our father more than I did. He had the same almond - shaped eyes like him, the same grey streak in his hair that women loved and his build was slightly more slender than mine. While he looked more like a basketball player, I resembled more of a football player. We could walk into almost any room and women would drop their panties. Literally. Put them in our pockets, have us smell them or just plain feeling us up. We were a damn pair, so I could honestly understand my brother’s use of language.
Whipped.
Fuck, I was whipped.
Matthew started laughing almost hysterically, but when he saw that this was no laughing matter, he settled down.
“I’m sorry, man. I just never thought I’d see the day when the great X man would fall on the sword.”
“Fuck you man. You haven’t met this woman, seen her in action, felt her or tasted her. She has me all fuzzy. I don’t even know how to fucking act and the worst thing is I don’t even know what I did for her to leave like that.”
“Damn, man. You are seriously fucked up”
“Don’t I fucking know it?”
Matthew shook his head, “Okay, let’s think. What have you done in regards to her that she has no idea that you’ve done?”
I thought about it. She knew about the dossier, I didn’t stick to the “holding out on sex”, so it could not be that. Between the family room and my room, the only thing that she could have found was my safe, which I doubt she found that. I had condoms in the drawer, no secret there. She could not get into my private room. She might have watched the news and the only thing on there she might have seen was her clip. It had gone viral. I did not have any social media pages or anything….Fuck, she would have checked her phone.
“Fuck, her phone.”
“What?”
“She probably checked her phone. This guy had texted her when she was in the bathroom, I responded, blocked his number and deleted the text. She also had been fucking some other guy, so I ended that shit too. One of them must have contacted her. Oh, shit.”
“Oh shit, what the fuck did you say?”
“Fuuucckk,” I held my hands up to hold my head, “I told them not to ever contact her, she was no longer available and if they did, I would make their lives a living hell. One dude I know and the other is her neighbor.”
“Damn, man. You threatened them? Didn’t you say she had issues when it came to her independence, money and power?" Matthew shook his head, "Shit, you’re fucked.”
“Fuuucckk!” I growled, banging on the steering wheel repeatedly with my fist.
“Calm down man, calm down.” Matt sounded concerned, so I stopped.
Dammit. I sure know how to fuck up. I just blanked, when I saw the text from that guy and remembered she said she had moved on and was seeing other people. She belonged to me. She was my girl. That was my pussy, my ass, my lips. She even said it. They belonged to fucking me and only me. Shit.
Matthew cut into my thoughts, “Man, let’s go to her apartment because she might have just went home to throw you off the trail and planned to pick up her car later.”
I am glad I brought him along because I didn’t even think of that. I started the car and headed for her apartment. As we pulled up, I saw a yellow cab pull away with what appeared to be a head full of hair like Xena’s. That could not be her, she only did UBER.
Matthew asked, “Didn’t you say she was a successful business woman. Why does she live here?”
I shook my head and said, “Don’t even get me started on that one Matt. I asked her the same thing. She got defensive, said she felt like she needed to be a part of the community, and not turn her back on her roots, bull shit. I think someone or some people have shamed her into this shithole, but she won’t be living here for long. Don’t worry.”
“Ahh, no wonder she has gotten under your skin. She’s the real fuckin’ deal. Smart, passionate, and she also practices what she preaches.”
I never thought about it like that, but he was right. She was the real deal. Not someone trying to be noble, but she just was. She saw something needed to change, and she set about that change. Everything she does, is about making life better for other people. Damn.
“Yeah, man. I told you, she’s the total fucking package. I ain’t letting her go.”
“I wouldn’t fuckin’ either.”
We double parked and went inside her apartment building. After knocking and hearing no movement, it settled in me in that moment that she was gone. She knew I’d come for her, she knew I wouldn’t stop and she was going to fuckin’ Italy in two days. She wasn’t coming back here.
Fuuuucckk!
“Man, she’s gone,” I said to Matthew.
“Why you say that, she’s probably being very quiet?”
“Naw, she knows me enough by now to know I’d turn all of Brooklyn over to find her, but she wouldn’t come back here and she wouldn’t go to her car. She leaves for Italy in 2 days, so either she is staying with friends that I don’t have any information on or family, who I have little info on, but not enough.”
“Damn, man. So, maybe we can narrow down where she might be staying?”
“Yeah,” I say with no emotion because that would be like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. She had friends and family in New York, New Jersey, Philly, Chicago, DC, and Delaware. She would go somewhere I would not even know to look.
Matt chimed in and said, “Or, you could meet her at the airport.”
“Matt, now your fuckin’ thinking!” I patted him on the back.
We left and grabbed a late snack at our favorite lounge. Women were hanging on us, but I was no longer interested in females whose name wasn’t Xena. I was officially off the market. Matthew on the other hand, had a couple of them hanging off his arms. He wiggled his eyebrows at me as if to invite me to partake. I shook my head and he made the “whipping” noise. I chuckled and wondered when he would be caught in a woman’s snare and knowing he had the same dominant tendencies like me, how he would react. I looked forward to meeting the woman who brought him to his knees and capture his daughter’s heart. It surely would not be the easy arm candy he had tonight because they would be gone tonight, but he seemed to be having fun.
Looks can also be deceiving.
15 No SUCH luck
Xavier:
We waited at the JFK airport from 6:00 AM to 3:00 PM since that was the last straight flight to Italy. There was no sign of her. Matthew came with me again, probably trying to make sure I didn’t strangle her sexy ass or he wanted to get a peek at the woman who brought me down. No sleep for two days, barely any food and a hard-on that would not go away.
I assumed she left from JFK and that it was a straight flight. I had contacts, but none in the airport industry that could hack in and see. I also could not use the guy I hired before because he was currently occupied. She definitely left today, so that meant I missed her and I had no idea where in Italy she had gone. If I had even a clue, I would be on the next flight there. Matthew must have sensed my crazy thought and warned me against doing anything rash. Like, just blindly going to Italy.
What the fuck am I supposed to do for two weeks without her?
****
Xena:
The
flight from the Dulles Airport to Rome was eleven and a half hours long. That was the cheapest flight because JFK cost an arm and a leg. Millan didn’t mind driving to the Dulles airport and I didn’t mind filling up the gas tank.
My mom said I was a party pooper because I moped around for 2 days and didn’t tell her what was going on. I told my sister, who thought I might have overreacted with just leaving and not telling him what he did. I tried to explain to her that when in a confrontation with him, he uses his words and body to manipulate. He’ll whisper in my ear, touch me at the right spot and I am putty. He didn’t fight fair. She said that I should have left a note. I told her, he’s a smart man and he will figure it out.
Then she asked the ultimate question. What are you going to do about him? I sighed. I had no idea.
Melanie, my sister, decided to continue adding her two cents, which I needed because I was all fuzzy in the head when it came to him. She thought I definitely fell for him, but I didn’t want to because I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. She would be right. She said that I was probably sabotaging the whole relationship and trying to control him through the games and little manipulative things I put him through. Hmm. I didn’t think of this like that. Then she added for good measure, that he was probably the exact type of crazy man I needed to match my craziness. Well, fuck me. The man was crazy and so was I – which made all the sense in the world, why I was so strangely attracted and turned-on by his craziness.
Maybe my sister could be my life coach. I think she nailed it. So the question remains, what do I do? Reach out to him and explain, cut all ties and let him go or work this thing out.
Hmm.
We landed in Rome and would be there for a week, then we’d travel to Florence and Milan. Millan had to go to Milan because they had the same name, well pronounced the same way. She was weird like that, but I was down for an adventure. We would leave from Milan on Sunday and get back roughly around midnight.
We had so much fun. Millan and I slept, we kissed some local men, ate a lot of food, met many different people, saw a slew of historical places, beautiful vineyards and I was able to dress up like Maximus in the Gladiator, hold up my sword and yell in the arena, “Are you not entertained?”
AWESOME!
I only thought about Xavier every night when I retired to bed and when I saw couples together enjoying themselves. I don’t know why I got mushy because he and I weren’t really a couple, more than sex partners. Well, Kevin and I were sex partners and I didn’t care like this. So, maybe it was more. He made his possession known in bed, but not that he had intentions for me. Well, it was only a week. How do you fall for a guy in a week?
Once our adventures in Rome were over, I arrived back to my Brooklyn apartment building, it was around 3AM on Monday morning. The elevator seemed to go really slow since I was bone tired, while dragging my two suit cases, trying not to make too much noise. Walking towards my front door, I look up and who do I see? Xavier in front of my door, on the floor, leaning against the wall, fast asleep.
Damn.
****
Xavier looked like he had not shaved in two weeks, he had not gotten a haircut, his clothes were wrinkled and he definitely lost weight.
Oh shit.
The old elevator door slammed shut, awakening him from his slumber. Once he focused his eyes on me, he stood up and stared. I did not know what look was on my face, but I just stood stark still trying to remind myself that this wasn’t that serious, he and I. How long had he been out here waiting for me?
“Come here, baby,” he said with a hoarse voice.
Obeying as usual, I dragged my bags with me until I reached him and walked right into his chest, where his arms to wrap around my whole body. His embrace was not possessive, but one of relief. He cradled my head with his large hand, smashing my face into his neck. I did not mind because I was squeezing the hell out of his torso.
Breathing deep because I was so happy to be back in his embrace. It seemed that no matter what happened prior was irrelevant, while I was in his arms. I felt safe and protected. Xavier sighed and took a deep breath as well. We stood like that for what seemed like an hour, but it could have only been around five minutes. He let go, grabbed my keys out of my hand to unlock my door. After ushering me inside, he went back out to grab my suitcases, dropping them in the hallway.
Walking over to me, he grabbed my hand, pulling me into the living space. There he began to undress me and then himself. Standing there with nothing on, tired from the flight and ecstatic to see him, caused me to have conflicting emotions. I was horny, but I could most definitely sleep. Thank goodness he motioned for me to get in bed, while he turned on the air conditioner and grabbed a bottle of water. His mood was weird, as Xavier had yet to say anything. The last time he was in my presence and did not say anything, it did not end well. I drank a few gulps of the water and gave it back to him. Setting the bottle aside after finishing it off, he joined me in bed.
“Can I just hold you for tonight?” this came out as a plea from him.
“Yes.”
He turned me on my side, so my back was to him, then nestled in my neck, while my head rests on his shoulder.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he said then whispered, “Good night sweetheart.”
****
Xavier:
That was the best nights rest I had in two weeks. Surprisingly, I did not sleep until noon. Well, it was 11 AM and Xena was still asleep. After I wrote her a note, I gathered my things and left.
---------
Xena,
Meet me at The Pointe at 4PM for dinner tonight, so we can talk.
X
---------
There was a ton of things that I had to do before we met tonight, so I needed to get a head start. As I pulled up to my pent house, I see Matthew in a clench with a short woman. He was arching his back to kiss her, which looked awfully painful. She was really short. Once he ended the lip fest, he sent her on her way. He jogged over to me, “Someone looks like they got some rest. You still look like a bum, but I’m assuming you saw her.”
“Yeah, man. I saw her.”
“You spent the night?”
“Yeah, but we didn’t do anything. I just wanted to hold her.”
Matthew made a disgusting face and shook his head. “You need to have your man card revoked.”
“Whatever, man.”
“So, have you decided what you are going to do about her?”
He and I had been having this discussion for the past two weeks now. It was mostly him bringing it up because he was no longer Team Xena. He felt like she was inconsiderate to leave and not say anything, but I think he was more upset about the fact that I fell completely apart over the last two weeks. He forced me to eat, even recruited my dad in on the shenanigans. I was barely in the office, so he was covering my work and his, causing him to think that Xena was emotionally draining me. In Matthew’s head, that signaled a toxic relationship. This was his new thing since the breakup with Mara’s mother.
After looking in the mirror the few times, I started to believe him. “I don’t know yet.”
“We are meeting up at 4 PM for dinner, so we can talk it all out. We will have privacy, so we will talk, so everything is on the table and then I’ll know how to proceed,” I added.
“Hmm, well, make sure you light her ass up for that stunt. I will if you don’t.”
Hmm, I would like to see him try it. Xena would chew him up and eat him for dinner if he tried to come at her the wrong way. That domineering behavior barely works for me and the only reason it does, is because I have my hooks in her and on some level she wants me in control.
“No, you will not. She’s mine.”
“You mean, she got you whipped. She is leading you around by your dick and you are so caught up, you can’t even see it. I don’t care what you see in her, but the last two weeks have been hell. More importantly, it’s been hell for me to watch. This isn’t love, Xavier,” he hissed and walked to
his condo.
If it’s not love, then, what is it?
There was so much I had to do before I met with Xena that evening. Not excluding a shower, facial, massage, and a damn haircut. During the past two weeks, I had not done any personal grooming and it was pretty disgusting. Matthew was beyond angry by the turn of events, but that was his way of showing me that he had my back. It was fine for the moment since he brought up some key issues, but if Xena and I were going to be together, he will have to reign that in, or we would have problems.
Xena arrived around 3:55 PM in a cute dress with wedge heels. The dress displayed her figure just right, though she showed no cleavage and just enough thigh. She chose to look elegant, which she displayed perfectly.
FOCUS.
Standing up, when they ushered her in, I held her seat.
“We have the space all to ourselves?” she asked.
“Yes, I know the owner and called in a favor.”
“Ah, I see.”
“So, on the menu we have lasagna with Italian sausage and meatballs, salad with light Italian dressing, garlic bread or we have fried chicken, collard greens and candied yams if you are all “Italian-ed” out after spending two weeks in Italy.”
“Oh yes, thank God. I’m going to have the chicken, greens, and yams! I have had enough Italian food to last me for the rest of the year.” She laughed.
I chuckled.
“How was your trip?” I asked.
She went on and on about how she loved it, the food, the people, the men, the sites, the places she traveled to. Causing me to be glad that I did not go to Italy, though I looked up flights because I would have never found her. She was so cute, talking about her rendition of the Gladiator in the stadium. Now, I would have loved to see her doing that. I should have seen her doing that.
FOCUS.
Scooping food on her plate, I said, “A well-deserved trip, I’m sure.”
She nodded her head, then started to eat. Xena looked a bit nervous so, I put some food on my plate so I could join her. The anticipation between the both of us was so thick. She was inhaling the food, like she had not eaten in a while. My food was barely touched, as I was attempting to figure out when to talk. Having had enough of the pleasantries, I grabbed her hand with the fork.