by Lynda Chance
Chapter Twelve
The weeks and months after his father died were spent in a blur for Josh. He seemed to take one day at a time, and studying for finals and wrapping up the semester before graduation was always a rushed time. He spent a lot of time on the Internet, and he even went and visited the nearest community college, where he researched what it would take to get enough credits to get into law enforcement.
It was going to be easier than he’d expected, and he went ahead and signed up for some online classes for the coming summer months that he could get behind him. He felt a sense of peace that he’d made the decision, and he went ahead told the people who mattered, Hannah and his family.
His family was proud of him, and Hannah was excited, because it meant he’d make his home here and even though it was way too soon to talk about it, he knew that Hannah had marriage in mind. That knowledge gave him an added sense of contentment, and Josh realized that things were looking up for his future.
Hannah had told him that her brother was still having a hard time dealing with the death of his wife, and Josh knew that Hannah believed it was the loss of his unborn child that was making her brother so embittered. Josh felt continued guilt over that, even though he knew it hadn’t been his fault.
Hannah began spending more and more time with her parents on the weekends, because her grandmother had taken a turn for the worse when the breast cancer she’d been fighting came back with a vengeance. Her parents went to Shreveport every weekend; Hannah went with them every other weekend, and the weekends she stayed at the ranch, Katie had begun staying with her so she wouldn’t have to be alone. Katie and Hannah were becoming extremely close, and even though he felt for Hannah about her grandmother, Josh was more than pleased that the two girls in his life had bonded, because it seemed to him that the circle was closing, in a good way.
When Hannah was away, Josh spent the weekends putting in long hours at the feed store, and working on a new crop rotation system that would better benefit the type of soil found on their farm. His uncle never really went the extra mile with long term planning, but the other man was thrilled when Josh approached him with his idea. If they implemented the system now, Josh knew that by the time he was working full time on the force, the farm would be in much better shape and he wouldn’t have to work as many hours to make it productive. That is, if Mother Nature was on their side and they received the rain they needed.
If Josh could work only one full-time job in the years to come, it would make his life with Hannah so much easier. He didn’t mind taking care of the farm and he’d do his part, but if he could establish a more automated system now, the effort would be worth it in the future.
Prom was held at the high school in late April. By tradition, the sophomores and juniors decorated the gymnasium for the event. Hannah and Ava were doubly excited, because not only did they get to see everything as it was being organized and decorated, but they both knew they were going to get to attend, as well.
The event went smoothly, and there were tons of pictures taken with Josh, Ethan, Ty and their dates. Ty brought Kayla, and the six of them sat at a table and that was cool.
Josh and Hannah were taking a break from dancing, and Josh was focused on the dance floor, watching Ethan with Ava. It was pretty damn obvious to him that the two of them had been having sex for some time, no matter what Hannah thought. Josh didn’t know why Ava was keeping it from Hannah, but he knew without a doubt, that Hannah believed that it wasn’t happening.
Josh didn’t care one way or the other as long as they were careful. He still didn’t intend to do anything more with Hannah until she turned seventeen, and he ticked the months off as they went by. Six more to go. He could make it, by the skin of his teeth, maybe, but together they could make it.
****
Commencement was held the first week of June, and he and Katie graduated together. With the same last name, they sat together in the front row with the top five percent of the class. Josh was only mildly disappointed that he’d ending up ranking third in his class. He’d been ranked at second for the last two years, although being either the valedictorian or salutatorian had never been a real goal for him. When his father had died and he’d learned his mother hadn’t abandoned him after all, Josh had lost focus for a few weeks and his GPA had slipped, only minutely, but it had been enough to place him in the third slot.
As he sat and waited for the ceremony to begin, he mostly felt relief. He’d never wanted to stand in front of the school, hell, the entire town, and give a speech. What the hell would he have said up there? Everyone knew his story already. Anyway, it was all good, because now he and Katie could sit together on the front row, with their academic colors draped around their necks. Josh sat back and enjoyed the raucousness going on behind him that he couldn’t actually see without turning around, but he could hear it going on and it made him almost bust out laughing a time or two. Of course, he’d come up with a class of fairly good kids, and he knew that they would give their attention and respect to the podium when it was warranted.
Ty and Ethan were sitting in alphabetical order behind them, as well as Kayla and Mandy and everybody else.
As Josh glanced around, his eyes found Jesse Whitaker in the stands, up near the top. A rush of anger ran through Josh’s bloodstream and threatened to ruin his day. The guy should have been graduating with them, he was damn sure old enough, but evidently, he’d failed a few classes and he didn’t have enough credits. The way Josh saw it, that was good and bad, but mostly bad. He was glad that his class wouldn’t be forever tarnished with the likes of Jesse Whitaker as part of it. But the bad part was, the dude would be in high school for another year. Another year, preying on the girls there.
Hannah.
Within mere seconds, Josh’s protective streak rose within him and his eyes slid down to make sure Hannah was exactly where she’d been two minutes before, the last time he’d checked.
She sat on the end of a row, next to Ava and the Andersons who’d come to see Ty graduate. Hell, practically the entire town was here. His aunt and uncle had camped out for hours so they could have a front row view. It was a big event; the small population of the town always took pride in their graduates. He and Hannah had been texting earlier, but now she sat gazing around her at all the fanfare. The graduates sat facing the stage and podium, the band sat behind the stage, as did the small school orchestra.
Even though it had been hotly prohibited, a blow up beach ball came bouncing up behind them and almost hit Katie on the head. She looked startled a moment, but recovered quickly and tapped it hard enough to send it sailing back behind them. Josh was watching Hannah and he could clearly see the smile that broke out on her face when the ball was volleyed from one graduate to the next. She sat up straighter and leaned forward, her face animated. God, she was so beautiful. Her hair was shiny, her shoulders smooth in the sleeveless shirt she was wearing. Her complexion was gorgeous, her delicate profile exquisite as she turned with a smile and … and faced that Steven kid who always seemed to be around.
Shit.
Almost everyone had found seats, and Josh had a clear view when the younger boy spied Hannah and stopped to talk to her. He dropped down on his haunches beside her, and put his hand on the back of her stadium seat.
Josh gritted his teeth and continued to watch. The boy spoke to Hannah for a couple of agony-inducing seconds and at one point, Hannah pointed to Josh, and the younger kid’s gaze followed.
A couple of other younger guys jogged down the steps to join Steven, and now there were three dudes crowding around Hannah.
Great, just fucking great.
As they talked to each other and looked around for three empty seats together, Steven’s hand never left the back of Hannah’s chair, even though his attention left hers momentarily as he looked to where one of his friends was pointing.
Two seconds later, Josh’s cell phone vibrated and he glanced down at it. Calm your ass down, okay?
Amusem
ent hit him and it mixed with the jealousy he was feeling. He keyed in a response, barely taking his eyes from the stands. Dude’s got his hand on your chair.
On my chair, not on me.
Best not be on you.
Really? You think I’d let him touch me?
I think you know better.
I know better?!!?
Yeah.
Josh received no answer and he felt his muscles clench as each of the boys enveloped Hannah in a bear hug before turning around and running back up the steps. After they’d left, she looked directly at him and smirked. His phone vibrated. Did you live through it?
With the other guys away from Hannah, he was mostly relaxed again as he keyed in his answer. Barely. And you’re going to get a spanking.
Josh swore to God, he heard Hannah’s laughter two seconds later through the cacophony that surrounded him.
Her text came quickly. Bring it on, big boy.
The first speaker walked to the podium. Later, princess.
An hour later, Josh had his diploma in his hand.
****
Josh worked his ass off all summer long. He worked full time at the feed-store, worked every spare daylight hour on the farm, and stayed up late at night on the computer, wiping out a couple of online classes during the mini-summer session. And somehow, he managed to fit Hannah into his life, as well. It helped that she had her own car, and for once he was glad of it. She came to town at least a couple of times during the week and picked him up during his lunch hour. They either went to the diner for burgers, or to the city park for sandwiches. He also made damn sure that he kept at least one night out of every weekend open for her. Looking back on the long summer that was almost over, he wasn’t really sure how he’d accomplished so much, but he had, and he felt a glowing since of satisfaction that he wasn’t sitting around on his ass, but was moving toward his future goal: Hannah. She was the most important thing in his head, and that made it easy to do the things he had to do.
Every day became more of a challenge for him, a challenge not to let the intimacy go any further. He’d gone from counting the months to counting the weeks to Hannah’s seventeenth birthday in late October, when she would legally be at the age of consent, but in August, something happened that fucked with his brain beyond all comprehension.
He was working full time at the feed store, and the doors opened at seven in the morning. When Josh pulled up at a quarter ‘til, Ethan was waiting for him in the parking lot.
Josh pocketed his keys and walked to where Ethan was standing in the early morning light, with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t have a clue why his friend would be waiting for him at practically the crack of dawn, and Josh frowned in confusion. “What’s up?”
Ethan turned away and wiped his hand over his face in agitation before turning to face Josh once more and announcing bluntly, “Ava’s pregnant.”
Josh felt that like a sucker-punch to the gut, but he tried like hell to show no emotion that would upset his friend. He had no fucking idea what to say. “Dude.”
Ethan briefly closed his eyes before opening them and staring at Josh, with a pulse ticking in his cheek. “I know, right?”
A moment of anger toward Ethan bled through Josh, and he knew in his heart that this was no time for recriminations, but what the hell? How could you be so fucking irresponsible as to get your girlfriend pregnant? Josh knew he shouldn’t say anything, he tried like hell to keep his mouth closed, but he absolutely couldn’t stop the words that spilled from his lips. “What the fuck, man?”
Ethan gave him a look that would have scared the shit out of a lesser man. “Don’t start with me, Turner. I really don’t need any more crap right now. You have no idea the kind of shit I’ve been going through.”
Josh took a deep breath and tried to let it go but couldn’t. However, he managed to control his voice and to speak in a reasonable tone. “Okay, fine. I get it. But what the hell? Did the condom bust, or what?”
“No, I forget the fucking thing. Just once. Just one fucking time. I forgot.”
“How the hell do you forget something like that?” Josh spit out the question.
Ethan gave him a blistering stare. “Because it’s different, motherfucker, when you love ‘em. You know?” Ethan’s words stalled and he studied Josh as his lips flattened. “When you’re just banging a girl you care nothing about, hell no, you won’t forget a goddamn condom. But when you’re fucking obsessed? When she’s yours and yours alone and you’re fucking crazy-in-love and you think you’re going to die if you can’t get it in? You sometimes forget! Shit. Would you fucking let it go and stop acting like my father and start acting like my goddamn friend?”
Josh lifted his hands in agreement but as understanding hit, an internal light came on and a danger sign began screaming in his head. He believed what Ethan was saying, but it hadn’t really occurred to Josh that you could forget a condom. Sure, he knew assholes who didn’t like to use them, and who claimed to forget, but to actually forget? How could you forget when the last thing you wanted to do was get a girl pregnant? It had been a year since he’d had sex, but he’d never come even remotely close to forgetting a condom in the past. But with Hannah? Yeah, he could suddenly see how fucked up and possessive-crazy could lead to forgetting a condom with her. And the thought was terrifying. What if Hannah got pregnant? Shit, if she got pregnant now, she wouldn’t even come close to finishing high school. Josh took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on Ethan. “How long have you known?”
“For sure? Since yesterday. But we’ve been worried for over a week.” Ethan’s eyes narrowed and he looked off into the distance.
“Do her parents know?” Josh asked.
“Yeah … fuck yeah.” Ethan’s eyes shut for a moment, his distress easily apparent.
“And yours?” Josh questioned.
“Yeah.”
Josh expelled a low breath as he was jolted by another thought. “Has Ava told Hannah yet?”
Ethan answered curtly, “No. She knows y’all aren’t doing it and I think she’s embarrassed.”
Josh understood that, but he didn’t think it was anything that Hannah couldn’t handle. “What are y’all gonna do?”
“I want to marry her.” Ethan responded in a voice that dripped determination.
Josh nodded his head in agreement. “Sounds about right. She’s already seventeen, right?”
“Yeah. She started school late because of that heart thing when she was a little kid. She’ll be eighteen right before the baby is due … like a few weeks before.”
“So when’s the wedding?” Josh asked.
“It’s not. Her parents want her to give the baby up for adoption. Jesus Christ, they’ve even used the abortion word.” Ethan’s hand visibly shook as he ran it threw his hair.
“What?” Josh was completely shocked; he’d known the Andersons for years. Nothing would have ever made him believe they’d try to get Ava to terminate the pregnancy.
The lines around Ethan’s mouth became even more pronounced and his voice reflected the pain he was feeling. “They want her to abort our baby.”
Josh shook his head, trying to understand. “Ava’s in love with you, dude. Or so Hannah says. You’re not just some random guy she hooked up with.”
“I know. We’re together for good, you know? But they won’t let her marry me.”
“She wants to keep the baby, right?”
“Oh hell, yes. Don’t get me wrong. She’s not happy she’s pregnant. But she definitely wants to keep the baby, yeah.”
“They can’t make her abort it, can they?”
“No. But they’ve threatened to not let her see me anymore.”
“Christ,” Josh muttered.
“I know. This is our baby we’re talking about here. Mine and Ava’s … and her parents are acting like it’s … just nothing.” Ethan paused and took a deep breath, “We’ve talked about waiting until she’s eighteen to get married, and I guess that’s what we’l
l do. We can get married before the baby’s born … you know, so it won’t be illegitimate.”
Josh rubbed his temples, trying to ease the frustration he was feeling that he knew was not even a tenth of what Ethan was dealing with. “That’s cutting it really close.”
“I realize that, but there’s nothing else we can do.”
Suddenly it hit Josh how messed up the situation was. “Dude, what about your scholarship?”
“Fall camp starts next week. I’ve got five fucking days to decide if I’m going.”
Josh’s mouth went slack at what he saw as a huge mistake if Ethan didn’t go to fall football camp. He spoke emphatically, “You have to go—”
Ethan interrupted, “How the fuck can I leave Ava?” As soon as the words were out, Ethan’s shoulders sagged and he stared down at the ground.
“That’s been your plan the entire time,” Josh argued. “You get your education on a football scholarship. Ava knows that. Y’all were going to try a long-distance relationship before. I know it’s going to be hard, but this isn’t about football anymore—”
“It’s never been about fucking football … it’s always been about getting a degree.”
“Okay, well, now that degree is going to be more imperative than ever. You’re going to have a family, dude. You’ve got to be able to support them.”
The look on Ethan’s face was anguished as he shook his head. “I can’t just leave her.”
Josh saw the dejection etched on Ethan’s face and tried to reason with him gently but firmly. “You need to get your head screwed on straight and get Ava behind you on this. You’ve got four years of school that you have to get through. You know how many people would kill to be in your position right now? I get that it’s always been about the education, and it should be, but goddamn Ethan, you’re talented. A&M scouted you. You have NFL written all over you. You want to be a rich fucking bastard and have Ava and a family, or do you want to be poor as shit flipping fucking burgers your entire life and trying to support them? Ava loves you, dude. She’s a good girl, man, a smart girl. She’ll get behind you on this.”