Savage Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  His mind was filed with dreams and hopes and she did not have the heart to shatter or dim them. He continued, “We’l be happy and prosperous here. We wil live in peace and freedom.”

  “You cal this peace and freedom, Uncle Thad?”

  He patiently replied, “Soon this wil al be over and forgotten and then we’l have a truce. Just give it and me a little time. You’l see. Come, let us speak no further of unhappy things and times. It’s getting late and I have some rabbits waiting to be cleaned for dinner.”

  Relenting and smiling up into the jovial face of her uncle, Alisha realized that she had come to love the old man dearly. There would be plenty of time for talk and understanding later, she thought. She slipped her arm through his and they stroled arm-in-arm to their cabin. Alisha went inside to prepare the vegetables for the stew and Thad went to the side stand to clean his rabbits. As he skinned and gutted the rabbits, he secretly wished for a gigot of lamb and tankard of ale instead of stew and tea.

  Horace had been leaning against his cabin stoop observing the talk between Thad and Alisha when Kathy walked over to him.

  “So, you stil persist in chasing Alisha’s skirts. Can’t you see she doesn’t give a fig for you, Horace? She won’t even give you a second glance. I could make you forget her if you’d only give mea chance,” she promised brazenly.

  He glared at the drab, plain girl standing there and said cruely,

  “What man would trade one night with her for a lifetime with you?

  That’s like trading gold for rocks!” He laughed and walked inside his cabin.

  Kathy stared after him and vowed silently, “She’l never have you, Horace, nor you, her. It wil be me or noone. I’l fix you and her. She’l be sorry she ever turned your head.”

  As Alisha peeled and cut the vegetables, she was absorbed in her thoughts. She reflected on the other Indians she had met since coming here from England a year and a half ago, but none of them had been like Gray Eagle….

  A year and a half ago, she was on a ship sailing from her childhood home in Liverpool to the “new frontier” with her parents. She was leaving behind the only home and friends she had ever known. She recaled the great excitement they had felt about coming here, but she also recaled the sadness and heartaches. The trip to the Colonies had been uneventful, but tedious. It had been cold, uncomfortable and long. They had left Liverpool in late winter, 1773, and had arrived on the Colony Coast in the spring of 1774. The adventure had been thriling and frightening to a seventeen-year-old girl.

  seventeen-year-old girl.

  Alisha was slowly learning what a sheltered life she had led and painfuly becoming aware of how naive she was. She knew this was because of her strict, protected upbringing. There was so much her mother had not taught or told her. Each day, she became aware of how much there was to know about life, people and love. Things were not as she had thought and believed. People and times were difficult and life could be cold and hard. Why couldn’t people be open and honest as she was taught to be? Why did kindness and friendship not matter to others as they did to her? Why were these men so brash and crude? Where had galantry and chivalry gone?

  Alisha did not comprehend that these men weren’t so very different from her countrymen. It was just that her father had protected her from the ploys of hot-blooded, eager young men. He had shielded her from the problems in their country. She knew only situations where people were at their very best and never learned what people could be like in hardship. Of her protected life, a gentle, loving spirit was born. Her father would never know what a disadvantage this would give her when she would be caled on to step out into the real world with real life problems and people. She had lived in a world of shadowed ilusions and beautiful dreams. Her naive innocence made facing raw human nature very difficult and harsh for her. How could she hope to deal with emotions, actions and feelings in othérs that she knew nothing about and could not understand? What made her see and feel things so differently? Was she the only one who did not accept life here? Did she want to learn to think and feel any other way? No! her mind shouted. That kind of hatred would be destructive to herself and others.

  She trembled when she recaled how she had tried to stand up She trembled when she recaled how she had tried to stand up against them al. She had done it without thinking, just as she would have gone to the aid of anyone in distress or danger. Let them be angry, she thought defensively. They were wrong and they’d soon realize it and be glad that I stopped them from doing a terrible thing. She would never know that the financial and political problems her father had shielded her from were the very reasons that they finaly left England to come here. Her father, John Wiliams, had been a merchant and shipper in Liverpool. He was the type of man who radiated charisma and many men went out of their way to do business with him and his firm. They knew they could trust him to deal fairly with them. His reputation became wel-known and above reproach during those days. How happy those days and times had been for her.

  She began to recal those last days in England and her trip to the Colonies. So many things had happened insuch a short span of time. How she longed to be safe and secure with her parents in their home there. In those happy, carefree days of long ago, she had not known fear, hatred and violence.

  Painfuly, she recaled the closeness she had shared with her father, a closeness of friendship and companionship now gone forever. They had spent many, many hours just talking, going on outings, discussing books and events that they had both read or heard.

  It had been a blessing that her mother had never resented their closeness and special love as some women did. Instead, she rejoiced in their comradeship. Alisha’s relationship with him made up for al the missing children and the son that she could not give her husband. She was deeply grateful to her only daughter for this. On sunny, clear days, she and her father would ride horseback On sunny, clear days, she and her father would ride horseback for hours in the nearby countryside, stopping later at some inn or respectable tavern for luncheon. There, they would plan future outings or discuss the morning’s activities. They were both great lovers of the outdoors and spent many hours in the forests and dales, colecting treasures and memories never to be forgotten. As John would watch the sparkle of vitality and innocence shimmer in her eyes or touch her face, he would wonder at his decision to let her see only the happy, carefree side of life, without its usual problems and hatred which tormented many hearts and spirits. But he believed that she would have a lifetime to see and learn to deal with the hate, bitterness and cruelty in life and people. For the time being, he felt that she should have only love, security and happiness. She was stil very young and there was plenty of time.

  Glancing around the smal, homely cabin, Alisha laughed at how vastly different it was from the grand hals and homes she had lived in and visited back in England. What would Lady Margaret say if she could see me now? she jokingly wondered. Out here, there was no worry about what the ladies of society think or say. From the looks of things, Miss Alisha Wiliams wouldn’t even have a coming out bal.

  Alisha dreamed about her parents and the grand parties and dinners of the past. She could stil see the twirling dancers in their fancy gowns and jewels and hear the lively, soft music as it drifted up the staircase.

  She smiled as she recaled that during each party her father would come up to the halway and dance a waltz with her before she went to bed. They would swirl and twirl to the haunting melody as they made mocking bows and gay, flirty banter. They would as they made mocking bows and gay, flirty banter. They would laugh and joke inlight repartee until the dance was over. Then he would return to his guests and she to her room.

  She could stil visualize her mother flitting around the room like a beautiful, delicate butterfly, seeing to her guests. Her soft, musical laughter would float up the stairway frequently to Alisha’s alert ears, causing her heart to soar in pride and joy. Her mother had been known as one of the most gracious and delightful hostesses in town. It was an honor
and a sheer stroke of luck to be among her guests for a party or dinner.

  As Alisha grew older, she came to realize that her parents had one of the few arranged marriages that had led to a life of love and happiness for both of them. Thinking about her mother, she knew that her relationship with her had not been as close as the one she had shared with her father. It had been warm and loving, but something had been missing. It was as though her mother always held a smal part of her love and feelings back, as if she could not totaly give herself to Alisha.

  Alisha quickly learned this and turned more to her father. She accepted her mother’s feelings, but wondered if she had also held back in her feelings toward her father. Why had Mama been unable. to give of herself completely? Did she fear a total commitment? Alisha realized how very different she was from her mother in this respect. When she loved, she loved with her whole being, holding nothing back.

  Alisha’s smile came quickly and easily and settled in her eyes as wel as on her mouth. Her openness and honesty were always evident in her large, lucid eyes, making secrets and deceit impossible. Her mother often told her, “You must learn to veil those eyes, Alisha. Lower your lashes. You tel everything with a glance. eyes, Alisha. Lower your lashes. You tel everything with a glance. And that smile, it wil drive a man to distraction and boldness. Watch me once more. Look how I smile demurely. See the lowered lashes? You must go to your room and practice before your mirror.” But when she would reach her room, she would stand before her mirror, making sily faces instead. She did not like the haughty, reserved looks her mother had told her to practice. She liked the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled and the pretty way her mouth turned up at the corners when she laughed. I wil be myself, she thought rebeliously, not an old fishface or prude. But there Were other times which she recaled with great happiness. On every free afternoon, they would have tea and long chats or lessons. She filed Alisha’s head, or tried to, with al the facts and knowledge each young lady of good breeding should know. She daily driled her in manners and etiquette. She taught her how to dress, how to behave in a ladylike manner in private and in public, how to enter and leave a room gracefuly, how to sit, stand and walk and how to converse in light banter.

  There were hours of tutoring in intricate needlepoint, music, art, reading, writing and anything that her mother thought would give her an advantage over other girls, along with her beauty and charm. She did not want Alisha taken for granted or treated as chattel. Any man looking at Alisha should know that here was a treasure worth winning and keeping. Her mother was confident that she would marry very wel indeed for she would personaly see to it. Her innocence and artlessness only enhanced her beauty and charm. But at times her mother would sigh and say, “If only you possessed a little guile and mystique, you could enslave the heart of any man you chose.”

  Often, their chat had dissolved into laughter when her mother Often, their chat had dissolved into laughter when her mother would imitate the faux pas of some elegant lady at a recent tea or party. She would try to suppress her giggles as her mother would demonstrate how not to walk or talk. The only topic they did not discuss was what happens between a man and a woman after they marry. Her mother thought there would be plenty of time for this talk later. Her feeling was that a girl could not use unwisely what she did not know. She wanted Alisha to retain that innocent air that was such an intricate part of her charm and never failed to show in her eyes and gentle face.

  Also, her mother did not know how to broach and discuss this aspect of life with a young girl Lese, not knowing what to ask, did not bring up this topic that made her mother so uncomfortable. She assumed she had heard enough until the time came to learn and know more.

  But Alisha managed to gain some knowledge by concealing herself behind the drapes in the drawing room when her mother gave intimate teas for a few friends. The women would giggle and reveal certain facts about their new affairs and conquests. Some of the remarks had made her face flame and she had wished she could escape the room. Other times, the talks had sounded a little spicy and risqué. Her mother would have been furious if she had found her eavesdropping on such talk. The women had spoken of passion, pain, love, disgust, and duty with the actual sex act. Some of the things they had described sounded wicked, but others sounded exciting. In time, she would know of these things and feelings for herself. How could a woman do such things? Could I ever be or think like that? she had asked herself many times. She would quickly say no, that for her love must be very special, and to be shared with only one man.

  be shared with only one man.

  She had completed her schooling, but her mother had insisted that she continue her studies and practices at home everyday with her. Often, these daily lessons had taken place in the large, waled garden to the rear of their townhouse. This had been one of her favorite places. It had always been fragrant and filed with flowers and shrubs of that season. That was the place where she spent many private hours daydreaming and planning. Her mind and heart had lived many a romantic adventure and secret life in that haven. Often, she had read for hours on her favorite subject, Greek and Roman mythology, or practiced her French and her sketching. Her Uncle Thad had been the first one to come to the colonies, in 1770. Hard times had befalen him back in England. Due to drought and high taxes, he had lost his estates in Sheffield. He had heard and spoken of the rich, fertile colonies in the new world. As his creditors clamored for their loans and mortgage payments, he talked more and more of leaving England. At the final severing of his credit, he sold his remaining possessions and properties and left with his wife and son for America. She sadly recaled his letter two years ago teling her family of Katherine’s and Timmy’s deaths from a strange fever.

  Since his arrival in America he had managed to build up a smal but very successful shop in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. He had written to her parents many times begging them to come and join him in business. He told them of the new life and freedom he had found. Her father had been hesitant to leave England, but was tired of the many conflicts and wars among England and her neighbors. As the rivalry for trade increased with other countries and wars cut off many of the shipping routes, his business began to show signs of stress and great financial loss. Conflicts were show signs of stress and great financial loss. Conflicts were becoming more frequent in the new colonies also. Thad wrote to them teling of how some of the colonists had dressed up as wild Indians, boarded English merchant ships and dumped their tea cargo into the sea as a protest against the tariffs. Tea had washed ashore for many days after the incident. The financial losses were astronomical and England raged at the offense. The culprits were never discovered.

  Conflicts increased in spite and frequency after that. Thad wrote to them regularly, giving al the details of newer and more daring escapades. The colonies no longer depended on the Mother Country and wanted independence.

  As the threat of a final break became more and more evident to John and his business went from bad to worse, he was convinced to join Thad. He sold al his belongings and properties and the family left for America. It quickly proved to be a wise decision when Great Britain passed the Port Bil. They could have been financialy ruined. Luckily, they prospered after they arrived. Alisha remembered how she had tried to absorb every detail. There had been so much to see, hear and learn. This new land teemed with wildlife, resources and opportunities. Communities had cropped up along the coast and moved inland. She had heard of the huge cotton, rice, tobacco and indigo plantations down South. How she longed to travel there one day and see it al for herself! She had visited the ports and shipyards with her father and they had found them busy beyond belief. His talent and character were quickly accepted by the men already established there. Soon, he was as busy and prosperous as they were.

  Time seemed to have wings until that day in autumn. The countryside had been aglow with color and life. The elms, poplars countryside had been aglow with color and life. The elms, poplars and maples set the landscape ablaze with reds, or
anges, golds and yelows. The evergreens and spruces stil gave the look of summer with their greens and blues. Splashes of color from late-blooming flowers, redbuds and mountain laurels gave the finishing touches to nature’s work of art. Everything seemed fresh, alive and exciting. Her family had been in the new land only five months when fate dealt her swift, cruel blow. Alisha relived the incident as if it had been yesterday. She saw the young man coming to Uncle Thad’s house to tel them of the carriage accident, of how the horses had bolted and gone careening over the steep embankment, kiling both her parents instantly.

  The folowing days would have been unbearable except for her uncle. He understood and shared her loss and grief. Some days she felt the páin would never leave her heart, that she would never feel joy and happiness again. But with time, the pain and emptiness began to slowly recede and were replaced with the heartaches and memories of the past.

  The winter came and with it more arguing with England over taxes, tariffs and unjust laws. Thad had known that trouble was brewing. Rumors that war would be inevitable in the near future were widespread. A sense of foreboding and impending danger was heavy in the air.

  Alisha thought of that first winter. She had never experienced such cold, harsh weather as this land was capable of unleashing. Many days had to be spent indoors because of the extreme cold, ice and snow. How unlike England’s foggy, damp winters. How she had longed for spring and warmth for her body and spirit. The climate and weather-imposed incarceration did nothing for her dismal spirits. To pul her out of her depression, Thad gave food her dismal spirits. To pul her out of her depression, Thad gave food and supplies to several families in return for tutoring from their wives in cooking, sewing and housekeeping for Alisha, who knew very little about these tasks. Her sewing had run more to needlepoint than to making or repairing clothing; her cooking more to sweets than meats; and her housekeeping to minor domestic chores than to singlehandedly running an entire household. She had not been taught these chores for it had been thought unnecessary for a girl of her position and breeding to do such menial chores.