I rolled over in bed, my face wet with tears. If I felt safe now, why was I crying? Unfortunately, I was pretty sure I knew the answer to that. It was still too early to be sure, but my period was a few days late. It had been late before, so I wasn't too worried. Still, in the pit of my stomach, I already feared the worst.
What if I was pregnant with Brad's child? I was on the pill, but sometimes I forgot to take it. Three weeks ago, I didn't get a chance to refill my prescription in time. I thought I'd be fine. I had no plans to see Brad for a while, but then he stopped by, and then...
Well, it was too late now. My head was spinning, and I cursed myself for my stupidity. I always wanted to be a mother, but not like this. Not with him. Especially now.
Still, I'd told him it was over, and I meant it. If I was pregnant with his child, we'd figure it out. I'd raise the child alone; my family would help me. I had a good job, a stable career. I could do it. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew I could do it. I just didn't want to have to deal with Brad for the rest of my life. I wanted to be free and clear of him forever.
Though my mind was firmly fixed on the past, a sound pulled me into the here and now. A groan from the next room. Then another. My cheeks flushed with heat the moment I realized what I was hearing. Trevor was in the room next to mine and I knew that he was in there masturbating. I'd seen the way he looked at me. Was he thinking of me while he jerked himself off? Was he thinking of that night we almost hooked up?
A lump formed in my throat, and I had difficulty swallowing for a moment as the memory washed over me. Stopping before things had gone too far had been the right thing to do. It didn't mean, though, that it had been easy, or what I really wanted. I adored Trevor, but I adored all my guys. Aaron wouldn't have liked me hooking up with one of his friends – especially Trevor who'd had a reputation for sleeping around – so I’d avoided it.
As far as Trevor went though, I'd seen past that reputation he had, but I wasn't sure Aaron would. He would have kicked Trevor's ass for coming on to his little sister, and even though he was gone, both Trevor and I felt guilty for doing something Aaron wouldn't have approved of.
The thing was, it wasn't just Aaron's memory that would be tarnished by us hooking up. The guys would disown Trevor if they knew. I'd always been the beloved baby sister to all of them. I was strictly off-limits, which was something I’d hated from the first time I met them. Because truth be told, they're a fine group of men, and if they were good enough to be my brother's friends, they were good enough to be with me. That's what I thought at least.
Problem was, I couldn't choose between the guys anyway. They all had their own personalities and quirks, which was something I adored about them. Trevor was a badass, or at least he liked to think he was, and played the part. On the inside though, the part very few people got to see, he was a teddy bear. He wanted love like anyone else. He wanted a family and a white picket fence one day, which was something you'd never guess by his normal attitude.
Then you had Chase. The good old boy-next-door. Chase was the type of man any woman would want to bring home to meet her parents. With his sweet smile and boyish good looks, I'd swooned over him from the moment I first laid eyes on him.
Every friend group also needed a nerd and a bad boy to be complete, and that's where Nolan and Sean fit in perfectly. Nolan with his thick rimmed glasses and styled hair, his khakis and button-up shirts, it was hard to imagine him being part of an elite Ranger unit in the Army at one point. He'd settled into the civilian world nicely and was sharp as a tack. Sean, on the other hand, was always down to party. Like Trevor, he had a reputation as playing the field a bit, but I knew better. I knew Sean had a softer side, I'd seen hints of it before.
Taken as a whole, the group of them were an amazing team. Aaron had completed the team, being an athlete and was always in top physical form before he lost his leg. He was strong both mentally and physically, even though he struggled with his demons.
God, I missed him.
What would he think of me now? Dating a guy who put his hands on me like Brad did? I used to think he'd hate me dating Trevor, but I think Brad was worse. I just didn't know that at the time. I had no clue he was the monster he turned out to be when we first started dating.
At first, he'd been so charming. That all changed later, though. Had my big brother been around to meet him, I don't doubt he would have seen right through him, and he'd have told me to send him packing. I was as sure of that as I was of my own name. Aaron was always a good judge of character, or so I’d thought. He'd never liked anyone I'd dated before, didn't think any of them were good enough for me. Maybe no one was in his eyes, but in this case, he'd have been right. I deserved better. I deserved a hell of a lot better than Brad could have ever given me.
I tossed and turned, listening to the sounds of Trevor in the next room, desire flaring up inside of me. My insides tingled as I closed my eyes and imagined what he was doing. We'd come so close to having sex that night not all that long ago. So very close. I'd touched him, and he'd touched me. His hands had been rough and wild as they explored my curves. His mouth pressed against mine with such need, such desire. I remember being elated that he felt the same way I did, and yet, he pulled back from me.
He stopped so suddenly, he pulled away and nearly fell off the bed. It was like a light went off in his head, and he was hit with the realization that I was Aaron's sister. That I was a no-fly zone. I remembered that he stared into my eyes with such horror, but there was still that look of lust burning deep into his hazel eyes. He'd wanted me that night, and I'd wanted him. I reached for him, trying to pull him back to me.
“Please, Trevor,” I'd begged him. “Don't stop.”
“No,” he said flatly, jumping from the bed.
He hurried and pulled his pants up, zipping them up without even looking at me. Tears had filled my eyes back then too. The rejection hurt me deeply, even though I understood. I'd struggled to forgive him, and things had never been the same. I feared they never would be.
My insides tingled as I heard Trevor jacking himself off though, and all of those old feelings came rushing to the surface. His breathing had gotten loud enough that I could hear it through the walls, and his groans grew ever more desperate. Biting my lip, it took everything in me not to walk through the bathroom separating our rooms and join in, risking everything, just to give him pleasure. To have him touch me again the way he had that night.
If I were being honest, the real reason I dated Brad so quickly was to forget about Trevor and everything I couldn't have. I thought Brad was the answer. Thought he was the complete opposite of the men I loved with my heart. I figured he might help me see that they weren't good for me or point out the flaws I'd blinded myself to. Problem was, he only reinforced what I already knew.
I wanted Trevor so badly it hurt. But it wasn't just Trevor I wanted if I was being honest with myself.
I wanted them all. Each and every one of them I wanted to make my own. Seriously, what kind of fucked up wish was that? It was entitled and wrong. They deserved better than to share me. And it wasn't like I'd want them to date anyone else either, but I'd expect them to share me – so it wasn't exactly fair. Even if Aaron would have approved of that choice, it wasn't right by the guys.
I was just going to have to find someone else, and it was more than obvious that Brad wasn't it.
I pulled the blanket up over my body and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. The shower in the bathroom turned on, and I pictured Trevor stepping into it, naked and soaking wet. My insides tingled with a need. I wanted to join him, and I almost did it. Almost. It was a fight to keep myself in bed, rather than jumping up, and hustling into the bathroom.
In the end, all it took to snuff that urge was to remember that he was the one who pulled away, not me. I was only assuming he still wanted me, and that my face fueled his fantasies. Besides, Brad was upstairs. We might be broken up, but that wasn't right. Not with him still in the cabin.
I'd been f
ondling my breast while talking myself out of joining Trevor in the shower. My hand moved lower and lower, stroking my belly before sliding under the waistband of my yoga pants. The warmth between my thighs felt good against my hand, and just like I thought, I was soaked.
I might not be able to fuck Trevor right now, but it didn't stop my mind from wandering, and my more sensitive parts from wanting it. Since it was a fantasy, I didn't stop it at Trevor either. In my mind, all my boys were with me, in this bed. Their hands moved over my naked body, and in the darkness, blinded by passion and lust, I couldn't tell whose hands were whose. They all melded together in my mind.
I fantasized about the rough, calloused hands of hard-working men stroking my stomach, fondling my breasts, teasing my nipples. Their mouths took turns kissing me. Some kissed my lips. Others kissed my neck, and one mouth – I didn't even pick amongst the boys but imagined all of them at one point or another – was down lower, kissing, and licking on the hot, wet center of me.
My hand played along my slit, pretending it was a tongue parting my lips. I whimpered as it came into contact with my clit, and I played with myself, circling it and teasing my opening.
“Yes, yes,” I mumbled under my breath.
I buried a finger inside of me, then another. Groaning, I begged my imaginary bed partners. “Fuck me, please. I need you inside of me.”
No one bothered to ask who I was talking to in my fantasy. One of them towered above me, thrusting into me. I arched my back and trembled as I fingered my pussy, thinking about being fucked by each of my brother's best friends one by one. I wanted them all. They could take turns with me. I wanted each of their cocks inside of me, and I felt guilty for that. Only a bit, however, as this was only a fantasy I'd conjured up to get myself off.
Still, as I imagined them taking turns with me, I knew it wouldn't take me long to orgasm. The very idea of having them all at once, feeling the chaos of all those hands, mouths, and cocks, was a turn-on for me, and with my fingers buried deep inside of me, my entire body tightened up and I came hard. I tried not to make a sound – I didn't want Trevor hearing me, but it was difficult. I couldn't contain the whimpers for long, which turned to groans as my body spasmed with pleasure.
When the pleasure eased, and then slowly subsided, I was left in my bed, alone and staring up at the ceiling. I had four men in the house with me – men who cared for me, and that I loved dearly. Yet, I was alone.
The shower turned off, and Trevor was finished. It was my turn now. Part of me hoped he'd heard me. Part of me wanted to believe that he knew I'd heard him, and that was my response. Another part of me was mortified at that very thought.
Emotions were complicated things sometimes.
There was a pounding on my door that startled me from sleep. I awoke with a start and stared at the clock. It wasn't even four in the morning yet. The room was dark and silent, and I thought perhaps I'd dreamt it. Rolling over, I tried to go back to sleep when the pounding started again.
“Elise, we need to talk,” a slurred voice called out from the other side.
I cringed and felt my heart start to race. It was Brad. I didn't answer him, willing him to go away, and instead curled myself into a ball in the bed. The door was locked, I wasn't about to deal with him while he was drunk. There was a mini bar upstairs in the loft and judging by the slur I heard in his voice, I figured that he must have raided it. More knocking followed, and then his voice called out to me even louder.
“Let me in, Elise,” he said. “Or I'll knock this fucking door down and come in anyway.”
The anger in his voice caused me to shudder.
“Go back to bed, Brad. You don't want to wake the guys,” I called back to him.
“Fuck them. Oh, I'm guessing you probably already have,” he said.
I flinched at his words, and felt my cheeks begin to burn. I knew there was no way the guys were sleeping through that racket and was afraid that was going to likely set them off. They were protective of me. Overly so, sometimes.
Then I heard Chase's voice on the other side of the door, calm and steady, like he was trying to talk someone down off a ledge. In a way, he was. If Brad continued with his drunken antics, things could get very ugly, very fast. Four against one? The other four all ex-Rangers? Yeah, Brad didn't stand a chance. He would lose that fight inside a minute, and he would lose it badly. He was too drunk and too full of pride to back down, though. I knew him well enough to know that.
“Go back upstairs,” Chase said, his voice rising just a bit. “You don't want to cause any trouble, man. You don't want to do this.”
“You're the ones causing trouble. This is my fucking cabin,” Brad said. “And you assholes all just barged the fuck in here like you owned the place.”
Nolan's smooth, relaxed voice spoke next. “We're not causing any trouble right now. We're all just sleeping, and we'll leave in the morning when the roads are cleared.”
Good, send the two most calm, relaxed, and level-headed of the guys to deal with him. If it had been Sean or Trevor, fists would have been thrown by now. Nolan and Chase were a little more even-keeled about things, which I hoped would defuse the situation before it got out of hand.
“You're not taking Elise with you,” Brad said.
“That's not up to you. That's up to Elise,” Nolan said. “Now go back to bed.”
“Not without talking to my girlfriend,” Brad said.
The door knob turned and rattled, and he started yelling my name at the top of his lungs. The door shook in the frame and was punctuated by thunderous booming. I assumed Brad was punching it. Then I heard Sean's voice.
“Shut the fuck up, man, and let her sleep,” Sean said.
“This is my cabin, she's my girlfriend, and you're not going to tell me what to fucking do, kid,” Brad said.
That was it. The door to the room next to mine opened and slammed shut. Trevor was awake now, which meant all hell was about to break loose. I pulled the blankets back from my body and put my feet on the floor. I just knew things were going to get ugly, so I hurried to the door and unlocked it, and found that Trevor had Brad pinned to the wall. He hadn't said a word, he just pushed him against the wall, and held him there. The others were crowding around them, some playing mediator and others – namely Sean – getting up in Brad's face.
“Stop it,” I said.
“Elle go back in your room,” Nolan said calmly.
“No, let the man speak,” I said.
A surge of anger rushed through me unlike anything I'd ever felt before. My hands were shaking as I stared in Brad's dark eyes. He was obviously wasted, and this wasn't a fair fight. I didn't want anyone to get hurt – or worse. I knew what the guys were capable of, and I knew what Brad would do, and it wouldn't turn out well for him. If he ended up hurt, the guys could end up in jail or see themselves get sued for everything they were worth. Brad was powerful as hell, and you didn't fuck with him or his family.
Trevor looked back at me, and I thought he might ignore my wishes, but surprisingly enough, he let Brad go. Brad instantly wobbled over to me, or tried to, but ended up smashing himself into the wall instead. Chase grabbed his shoulders and held him up.
“Elle, please, come back to bed with me,” Brad said.
His voice was less angry now, and more pleading. It was like he'd ignored everything that had happened and thought we could just hit the reset button and have it all go back to normal.
“No, that's not going to happen, and you know why,” I said. “We're over, Brad. I told you that already. Several times. You need to get it through your thick skull.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No, you need to take me back.”
I let out a dry laugh, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I felt safer, and better able to express myself with my guys around me.
“I don't need to do shit. We're done, Brad. Now go back to bed and sleep this off, because you're no match for the likes of them.” I motioned to the men surrounding us. “
You try anything, and they'll rip you limb from limb.”
“Fuck them,” he said, repeating the same insult he'd used before. “I'm sure you already have.”
Trevor started toward him, but Chase held him back.
“You know what? Even if I had fucked all of them at the same time, they'd still treat me with more respect than you,” I said. “Now go back upstairs before I sic one of them on you.”
The last bit was probably a little too far over the top, but it slipped out before I could stop myself. It made Chase chuckle, and Sean looked particularly amused. Nolan looked impressed. I didn't dare look at Trevor.
Brad's eyes narrowed as he stared daggers at me, and he started to say something, but then Sean moved closer. He took one look at the six-foot-four ex-Ranger, who was built like a linebacker, and stopped. For the first time, I saw something similar to fear in his eyes. Good. He knew what it felt like to be afraid of someone bigger and stronger for a change.
He turned and walked back down the hallway and the five of us remained silent. We watched him as he got to the living room, and looked over his shoulder, casting a baleful glance our way. Something shifted in his eyes as we stood there. Maybe the distance – from where he was in the living room to where we were at – made him feel brave, I supposed. Maybe it was the healthy dose of liquid courage coursing through his veins.
Either way, he said, “I always knew you were a fucking whore.”
My jaw clenched tight, and I wished I had something to throw at him. I wanted to argue with him, to defend my honor, but it was useless. There was no point in it. I stood my ground, my arms crossed in front of me. Trevor, however, had had enough. Before anyone knew what was happening, he closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye, and his fist collided with Brad's face. The sound was a sharp pop, like a baseball hitting an old leather mitt, and it took us all by surprise.
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