One thing was certain—she and Nathan would have to have a serious talk before he and Zach left Wyndermere.
Chapter Twenty-One
The final campfire sing-along had been a resounding success with a good number of adults from the inn adding their eclectic mix of voices to the performance. After the kids had settled into the cabin for their last night together, Paige left Sandy with the girls and set off in search of Nathan. Tomorrow he would be leaving. She couldn’t put off this talk any longer.
Many of the adults had remained outside on the patio to enjoy the beautiful evening, seeming reluctant to have their idyllic time at Wyndermere come to an end. Paige greeted the guests as she made her way through the crowd, accepting compliments on her singing and guitar playing. It didn’t surprise her not to find Nathan among the group.
Her gaze swung down toward the water, where the glow of the setting sun silhouetted a lone figure standing on the end of the dock. Paige’s heart hiccupped in her chest at the sight of him, so tall and steady. What was he thinking about all alone down there?
Quietly, she made her way across the lawn, over the small stretch of sand to the wooden pier. If Nathan heard her approaching footsteps, he gave no indication, remaining still, hands in his pockets, staring out over the calm lake, where only the smallest of ripples disturbed the glass surface.
Paige came up beside him and stood looking out at the horizon. The last trace of sunset lingered over the water.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” she whispered.
“It is. I’ll miss this view.” The melancholy tone of his voice resonated inside her.
“So will I.” Why did the words she’d been so eager to share with Nathan now seem stuck in her throat?
Before she could think of how to start, Nathan turned to face her. Her breath caught at the stark emotion shimmering in his blue eyes.
“I don’t even know how to begin to thank you for everything you’ve done for us. You’ve given us our lives back. I could never have come this far without you.”
“Nathan, I—”
“No, please let me finish. I’ve been rehearsing this speech for when we leave tomorrow, but I’d rather say it now.”
Paige’s heart cracked a little at the sorrow evident on his face, but she only nodded.
“I owe you an apology for my selfishness. For presuming to know how you feel, for trying to coerce you into something you’re not ready for.”
When Paige opened her mouth to protest, he held up a hand to stop her. “I’m not done.”
A light breeze ruffled the hair over his forehead. Paige gripped her hands together to keep from reaching out to smooth it down.
“You’ve become an important part of Zach’s life, and I hope...I hope my mistakes won’t stop you from keeping in touch with him. He’s going to have a hard time letting go.” The muscles in his tanned throat worked as he swallowed.
Everything in her softened as she allowed herself to feel the full force of love for him. This good man, so strong, so honorable, who wanted the best for his son and for her, was willing to put aside his own desires for their sakes. She reached over to lay a hand on his arm. “Actually, Nathan, I’m hoping he won’t have to let go.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
She took a breath. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since our talk in the barn. When Zach went missing, it brought everything into focus for me.” She raised her eyes to meet his. “I realize now that it’s impossible to lock all my emotions away and never allow myself to feel anything. That’s not how God wants me to live.”
Her knees trembled but she held herself firm. She needed him to know what was in her heart. “The truth is that I love you, Nathan. You and Zach. And I don’t want to lose either one of you.” Tears impeded her vision, making her unable to discern his reaction.
He covered her trembling hand with his. “You’ll never lose our friendship, Paige. Are you saying you’re ready for more than that?”
“Yes.” It was the only word she could get out past the fear that rose up to choke her, but it was the only one she needed.
Nathan closed his eyes and said nothing. His lips moved silently, as if in prayer. When he opened his eyes again, a slow smile spread across his face. “Thank You, God.”
He reached out to pull her into his arms and ever so slowly lowered his mouth to hers.
Joy filled her soul the moment his lips touched hers. This was where she belonged. In Nathan’s arms, cherished and secure. Her heart fairly burst with all the love she’d repressed for so long.
When Nathan pulled back, he looked into her eyes. “I love you, too, Paige. So much it terrifies me at times. I thought I’d have to say goodbye to you tomorrow, and I didn’t know how I was going to do that.”
“You don’t have to, not if you don’t want to.”
He stared. “What about your final year of school? You can’t give that up now.”
“No, but I can do most of the courses by correspondence.” She smiled at him. “George has even offered me a deal on my room at the inn. Room and board in exchange for some clerical work and maybe some singing as part of the fall entertainment package.”
Nathan’s eyebrows rose. “You’ve already talked to George about this?”
She nodded. “This morning. I wanted to be prepared—just in case.” She sobered. “I’m not presuming too much, am I? I know you and Zach are still grieving, and I don’t want to overstep—”
He silenced her with a kiss that left her breathless. “When the time is right, I want nothing more than to make you my wife. Zach has already told me he wished you could be his mom.”
She buried her face in his shoulder and inhaled the clean scent of his shirt. “I don’t know how I deserved to find love a second time, but I do love you, Nathan. Very much.”
“And I love you. Though I kept telling myself I had no business getting involved with anyone since I’d made such a mess of my life. Luckily, God had other plans for me.”
She smiled, caressing his cheek. “For both of us.”
Their lips met once more. Safe in the circle of his arms, the fear that had haunted her for years melted away, and she knew with absolute certainty that this was where she was meant to be. Paige raised a heartfelt prayer of thanks to God for helping her find her way at last.
Nathan pulled back, love shining in his eyes. “Wait till we tell Zach. This might be better news than a new puppy.”
Paige laughed with him, a beautiful sound full of hope for the future. “Maybe so. If not, you might have to soften the deal with a pony!”
Epilogue
“Do I hafta go to school today?” Zach peered longingly out the window at the new fallen snow. “Maybe the school bus won’t come and we’ll have a snow day.”
Paige laughed. “No such luck, pal. It’s only a few inches. Now get your backpack. The bus will be here any minute.”
With a begrudging sigh, Zach pulled his pack out of the closet and began to tug on his boots.
“Maybe we can make snow angels after school, provided your dad’s home to look after your brother.” In Paige’s arms, the baby cooed as if he knew they were talking about him.
Zach wrinkled his nose. “When’s Jake going to be old enough to make a snowman with me?” His biggest complaint about his brother was that Jake couldn’t do anything yet.
“Oh, not for about another year or so. Until then, you’re stuck with me and your dad.”
“And Farley. He loves the snow.”
She chuckled at the mental image of their black mutt romping through the white powder. “Yes, he does. Now scoot.”
Paige kissed Zach goodbye and watched out the front door as he bounded through the fresh snow in the driveway to the waiting bus. She waved at Judy, the driver, before the noisy vehic
le lumbered off.
“Well, Jakey. Looks like it’s just the two of us.”
In response, the baby rubbed a fist into blue eyes that matched his father’s. Paige laughed and kissed the top of his silky head.
“Time for a nap, I think.” Maybe she’d actually get to take a shower before noon today.
After putting Jake in his crib, she finished tidying the kitchen. She could hardly believe she and Nathan had been married for almost two years, and that Jake was already six months old. It amazed her how her life had fallen into place once she stopped fighting her feelings for Nathan.
They had married as soon as she graduated. Dan performed the ceremony with all her family and friends in attendance. It had been one of the happiest days of her life. The other was the day Jake was born.
Her career, or the lack of it, was the only snag in her otherwise perfect life. She’d managed to get some part-time work with a local psychiatrist, but it wasn’t the calling she’d hoped for.
Then Jake had come along unexpectedly, changing all her priorities. She loved being a full-time mother to Zach and the baby, yet lately she found herself growing restless.
“Be patient,” she’d told herself on more than one occasion. “I’m sure God has a plan.”
After her shower, she did a load of laundry, fed Jake and was making herself a sandwich when she heard the front door open. She looked up in surprise when Nathan walked in.
“What are you doing home at this time of day?”
“Can’t a man come home for lunch with his wife and son?” He smiled, bending to kiss her.
“Of course you can. We’re happy to have your company.” She laughed when he kissed Jake in his high chair and the baby smeared a grimy fist of applesauce across his nose. “Let me fix you a sandwich.”
She turned back to the cutting board.
Nathan wiped his face, then took the knife from her hand. “That can wait a minute. I have some news first.”
“What kind of news?” He was smiling, so she wasn’t alarmed, only curious.
“Something that will please you, I hope.”
She took the seat he pulled out for her, then waited while he sat beside her.
“Dan got a call this morning,” he said. “We’ve finally been approved to start the youth center we’ve been talking about.”
“That’s great.” She smiled at his enthusiasm, not really understanding why he had to come home to tell her this.
“Dan wants to expand the program. He’s planning on hiring a youth counselor as a liaison between the church and the kids.” He paused, grinning. “And he’d like that to be you.”
Her eyes widened. “Me? A youth counselor?”
“It would only be a few hours a week—which would give you time for grief counseling, as well.”
She frowned. “What grief counseling?” Her fondest wish, to help others suffering a loss, had yet to come true.
Nathan’s grin widened. “That’s the other good news. Dan finally managed to convince Mr. Dearling at the Pine Ridge Funeral Home that they need a grief-counseling program. Mr. Dearling has agreed, especially since Dan told him he has the perfect person in mind. He’s even secured you a small office on-site.”
As the idea began to sink in, a bubble of excitement rose in her chest. It was exactly the type of program she’d envisioned starting in New Jersey. “When would all this happen?”
“Whenever you feel ready to start working again. There’s a lot of preliminary work to set up the youth program. But Mr. Dearling is prepared to have you start as soon as you’re able.”
Her mind reeling with a thousand jumbled thoughts, Paige pushed up from the table. “What about the kids? I’d have to find a sitter for Jake.”
Nathan came up beside her and put his hands on her shoulders, calm and steadying. “All those details can be worked out as we go along.”
Another thought struck her. “You wouldn’t mind me going back to work? We agreed that I’d take a year off with the baby.”
He took her face in his hands. “I know how important your career is to you, and I want you to be happy. Everything else will work itself out.”
Sudden realization dawned at the look in his eye. “You put Dan up to this, didn’t you?”
“I may have mentioned it a time or two.” He dropped a light kiss on her lips.
Her heart swelled with love for this man who always had her happiness in mind. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “Thank you. You are amazing.”
Once again, Paige marveled at how God answered her prayers once she let go and let Him take charge.
Jake whined to get out of his chair. She quickly unclipped the belt and lifted him out.
“Here, let me do the honors.” Nathan reached for a washcloth.
Paige smiled at the tender way he cleaned his son’s face and hands. “How did I ever get so lucky?” she whispered.
His gaze locked with hers, sending tingles along her spine. “Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing.”
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from FALLING FOR TEXAS by Jill Lynn.
Dear Reader,
Inspiration for the setting of this story occurred while vacationing in the Muskoka region of Northern Ontario. My husband had rented us a rather “rustic” cottage, and in an effort to get away for an afternoon, we went on a drive and found a beautiful resort called Windermere House, which became the location for my story.
I already knew my heroine would be a grief counselor helping a young boy deal with the death of his mother. As most of you can likely attest, grief affects people in different ways. Some are swamped with guilt and anger, others retreat from life for fear of feeling such loss again. In my story, Paige turns to God for comfort and dedicates her life to easing the pain of others. Nathan, however, turns away from God, becoming paralyzed by misplaced guilt and anger.
I believe God brings people into our lives at the times we most need them: a friend, a coworker, a healthcare professional, a counselor. For Nathan and Zach Porter, that person was Paige McFarlane. By sharing God’s unconditional love and forgiveness, Paige not only manages to heal her own grief, but finds the courage to risk falling in love again.
This story is very special to me, because in 2008, it became a finalist in the Golden Heart Contest®, giving me the first hint of success I’d experienced with my writing.
I love to hear from readers! You can reach me at [email protected], via my website www.susanannemason.com or find me on Facebook.
Warmest regards & happy reading,
Susan
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Chapter One
His sister’s skill for getting into trouble would be impressive if it weren’t so discouraging.
Cash Maddox’s abused leather cowboy boots echoed down the empty school hallway, the smells of industrial cleaner and mildew transporting him back a decade to his own high school days. At least the scents were better than manure, the cologne he most likely boasted after taking off in the middle of ranch work and not leaving enough time for a shower.
Usually he didn’t get called into school until a few weeks into the fall semester. But this year? School ha
dn’t even started. Rachel had only been on school property for one day of preseason volleyball practice yesterday, yet Cash had come in last night to find a note scrawled in his housekeeper’s handwriting about meeting the new coach after practice today.
He didn’t know what Coach Grayson wanted to meet with him about, but if he had to guess, his sister wasn’t going to be winning any awards. Unless there was a gold medal for eye rolling or hair tossing. She’d win those faster than an amateur could get bucked off a bull.
But despite the tension that had invaded their house lately and the way Rachel wanted nothing to do with him, Cash loved his little sister. He’d do just about anything to give her the same great upbringing he’d had. He owed her at least that much.
Catching his reflection in the glass trophy case, Cash paused to pick out a much younger version of himself in the old football team photos. He and his best friend, Jack Smith, had that stoic look in the picture, as if smiling meant they weren’t tough.
He shook his head and started walking again, remembering parading down these same hallways. Man, he’d been full of himself back then. Not more than any other football player in this town, but still. At least he and Jack had finally grown up. Cash’s maturing had come a bit quicker than most, but then, parenting would do that to anyone.
He paused in the doorway to the French room, where his message said to meet.
“You must be Rachel’s father. Please come in.” Coach Grayson waved, not looking up from working at her desk. “I’m just finishing up some class notes.”
Cash opened his mouth to correct her assumption, then clamped his jaw shut at her look of concentration. Warm cocoa hair scooped into a ponytail hung down over one shoulder as Coach Grayson nibbled on her lip.
Jack. Cash wanted to grab an old-fashioned branding iron and lay one on his friend. Jack and Janie Smith were neighbors with the new woman in town, and they’d had her over for dinner on Sunday night. But while Jack had mentioned that his wife and two-year-old son had seemed equally smitten with the new coach, he’d failed to mention that she looked nothing like Coach Pleater—the woman in her sixties who’d retired last year after two decades with the school.
Healing the Widower's Heart Page 20