I pushed my chair back and left the table. My mom called out to me, but I ignored her. If Grant was going to tell Jim, he just needed to do it already. I couldn’t take the waiting anymore. Hell, I would just tell him. It wasn’t even that big of a deal.
Jim knocked on my door a few minutes later. “Are you seriously pissed that I called you Dopey?”
“No.”
“Mom’s making me apologize. So, I’m sorry. There okay. I apologized.”
“It’s fine.”
“I guess we are getting too old for name calling. It’s just old habits, ya know? Cause of course, I love ya and all that family stuff.”
I smiled at his attempt at a warm, fuzzy moment. While he was in a soft mood, I took advantage. Better it just came from me and I could tell my own version of it.
“Listen, I need to tell you something stupid and I don’t want you to get mad.” I drew in a breath. “The other night when the guys were here, me and Kyle hung out for a little bit.”
“What?” Jim turned up his nose. “When? Where was I?”
“You were sleeping. He came up to my room and we were just talking, nothing happened. So he didn’t break the code or anything. Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad at you for talking with Kyle. You said nothing happened. And what are you talking about ‘code’? There’s no code.”
“Oh, good.” I relaxed, but right away started questioning why Grant reacted the way he did. My brother obviously never set any rules about me being off limits.
Jim picked up a clip from on top of my dresser and started playing with it. “My friends don’t really look at you that way,” he said quietly.
“I know, like I said, it was just talking.” I felt stupid.
“While we’re here talking, I feel like I need to warn you about a few things before you leave for school.” Jim grasped my clip and pointed it at me. “You need to be careful. You’re the type of girl guys know they can take advantage of.”
“What does that mean?”
“Honestly?” He tossed the clip back onto the dresser. “It means girls like you who don’t look, who don’t have,” he paused, “confidence, need to be extra careful. That’s all. Do you understand?”
I did. Loud and clear. Girls like me didn’t get guys unless it was for the wrong reason. And his friends all felt the same way. Goodbye warm fuzzy moment.
“Yes, I understand and I’ll be careful. Maybe instead of going to college, I’ll go join a convent and avoid guys altogether.”
“That’s a great idea. You should become a nun.” He chuckled and I faked a smile. The second he walked out closing my door, I stuck up my middle finger. Dick.
I hated being ugly.
Just one night, that was all I wanted, one night where I could throw on a mask and be pretty. The silver packaging of my new lip gloss caught my eye. A mask.
I sent a text out to Melody to see if anyone was going out. Everyone was meeting at Cutsy’s the bar on the north side of the beach. Those who were old enough or had a decent fake ID would hang out in the bar and those who were rejected could hang out nearby in the hidden area under the old wooden boardwalk. It was one of the many perks of living in South Jersey; there was always a beach and a bar nearby.
Sitting in front of the mirror, I opened all my new products and one by one I transformed my face, making it somewhat more appealing. In my drawer was a padded bra I bought one day on a whim but then never had the guts to wear. I slipped the pale pink bra into place and looked down at my slight enhanced curve. Pulling my tight shirt down over the padding made my chest look even bigger. A pair of white shorts finished off the look. Side to side, front to back, I checked my reflection from all angles and for the first time, I didn’t hate what I saw.
I had the smallest blip of confidence since…ever.
Chapter Six
The new look. People noticed. Nothing crazy. I wasn’t suddenly transformed into a supermodel but people did turn their head to get a better look when I walked by. I even got into the bar. The legal age was twenty-one. I didn’t have a fake ID. But apparently I didn’t need one.
With a few touches of make-up and a layer of cotton in my bra, it was shocking how different I felt. Instead of looking for a place to hide in the background, I walked over to where Melody and a few of my other friends were standing and stood in the circle with them.
“I like your make-up,” Melody said, carefully looking me over. “You should have probably pulled your hair back; it looks a little frizzy.” She balanced her compliment with a snarky remark knocking me down a peg.
Two guys walked over and bottles of beers were placed in all of our hands. All. Even mine. Someone had bought me a drink. It was so hard to hide the excitement building on my face. I brought the bottle to my lips and kept it there, sipping until I felt I was able to contain myself.
“Wow, look at you guzzling that right down.” One of the guys who treated for drinks addressed me. He slipped his arm over my shoulder. “I call this one.” I looked up and he winked at me.
Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod
“Okay,” I said without thinking.
Everyone laughed. The guy with his arm around me squeezed me tighter. “Did you hear that? She said okay.” He laughed along with them. I didn’t know why that was funny, but I laughed too. Nervously, I brought the bottle back up to my lips and drank.
“What’s your name?”
“Tori,” I answered, realizing I’d already reached the bottom of my beer.
“I think I’m gonna call you Thirsty instead.” He took the empty bottle from my hand and walked me back over to the bar. “I’m Jake.” He motioned to the empty seat and leaned against the bar beside me.
The bartender walked over and Jake slipped him a large bill. “Keep em’ coming.” He held up my empty. I was being treated to more drinks. This was the best night of my life.
Jake was cute. Short, stocky, dark hair, he wore his shirt unbuttoned with a white tee underneath and a thick gold chain around his neck. He was…what was the word? Macho.
Beer two. He told me he was twenty-one. I lied and said I was too. He told his last name. Something Italian, but his mom was Irish.
Beer three. I told him about my cat, Whiskers. He loved animals. He used to have a dog named Shadow when he was little and his brown eyes looked so sad when he talked about him. I just melted.
Beer four. I found out what school he went to. I told him where I was going and got busted in my lie about my real age. He said he didn’t care as long as I was legal.
Beer five. I was drunk. Jake’s hand was on my back, his fingers playing with the clasp of my bra through my shirt.
The bartender walked over and placed a bottle of water in front of me.
“What is this? We didn’t order this.” Jake scowled at the bartender. “I paid you more than enough to keep bringing us beers.”
“Sorry, pal, I was paid more by someone to cut her off.”
“Who?” I thought it, but Jake said it.
“That guy right over there.” The bartender pointed. “You have a problem, you go talk to him about it.”
I couldn’t see so I stood up from my place at the bar to get a better look. Stumbling, I fell right into Jake’s waiting arms. He was so strong. So was his cologne.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said, still holding onto me. He had to. I couldn’t feel my legs.
We stepped out of the bar into the salty night air and took a few steps down into the sand. That was all it took for my head to start spinning. I dropped down on my knees and up came the beers. At least beer number four and five. I willed the rest to stay down. Voices shouted over my head and I had no idea where they were coming from.
When the shouting stopped, I was hoisted back up and carried over someone’s shoulder. We walked off into the parking lot and I was placed into the front seat of a car. This wasn’t good. I had no clue where I was, who I was with or where I was going. I just couldn’t seem to keep
my eyelids open long enough to focus.
I closed my eyes and when I opened them, the car was moving. I must have passed out. After blinking a few times, I looked down. My clothes were still on and I was buckled into the seat. I didn’t think anything happened.
“Where am I?” I sounded raspy from the dryness in my mouth and throat.
“Oh, look who’s finally waking up. Did ya have fun tonight?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. It was a rhetorical question. “This is the second time in three days I’ve had to save you from some guy getting ready to take advantage of you.”
“Grant?”
“Do you know you were in the bar a total of forty-five minutes before that guy had you drunk and ready to walk out the door to God knows where? And do you also know that you’ve been passed out in my car for almost two hours?”
My senses were starting to come back to me. “Two hours? Why didn’t you take me home?”
“Take you home? Like this? How would I have explained that to your parents or your brother? That I sat at the bar and watched you gulp down drinks while some Italian Stallion groped you, and if I hadn’t have been there, he would have probably raped you.”
I laughed. I was still a little drunk and he just said Italian Stallion. The image of the dark-haired guy at the bar…Jake, was coming back to me.
“I’m glad you think this is funny, Tori. I’ve been driving around for two hours not knowing what the hell to do with you and you wake up and the first thing you do is laugh. Sorry if I don’t think this is funny.”
“Okay, number one, he is only half Italian. Number two, he really loved his dog. Aww, it was so sweet. Number four. No. Wait. Number? Um?”
“Three.”
“Yes, thank you. Number three, he was not going to rape me and number four - you need to stop saving me, because seriously, you’re not saving me from anything. The other night I wanted to do stuff with Kyle and tonight, I wanted to do stuff with,” Damn, I went blank on his name. I just had it a minute ago. “I wanted to do stuff with you know, that guy.”
“‘That guy’? That’s lovely, Tori.” Grant parked the car.
“He wanted to do things with me. He picked me. Out of all the girls there, he picked me. He bought my drinks and again you came along and ruined it. Fine, maybe Kyle didn’t really like me, but tonight, that guy did.”
“No. He didn’t care about you. You were just drunk and he was looking to take advantage of you.”
Ouch. I fought the urge to cry. I didn’t want Grant to see how badly his words hurt me. And they really hurt me. I could be liked. It was possible. Wasn’t it? I acted like he didn’t even say the hurtful words and moved on.
“How much did you pay the bartender to stop serving me?”
“Nothing. I told him you were underage.”
“Half the people in there were underage. What did you do? Threaten him?”
“Yeah, basically.” Grant rubbed his hands over the steering wheel.
“Was that because of another code? Me drinking is off limits because I’m Jim’s little sister.” Moisture was returning to my mouth and I licked my dry lips. “Just for the record, there is no code. I told Jim about what almost happened with Kyle; he was fine with it. I’m not off limits. I can do whatever I want. Jesus Christ, I’m going away in less than two weeks and there won’t be anyone there to watch me.”
“I know and that kind of has me worried.”
“Okay, my brain is still fuzzy, but let me get this straight. You’ve known me for like what…ten years. We’ve barely ever talked. You ‘rescue’ me from things I don’t want to be rescued from. Which I have no clue why, by the way. And now I’m pretty much about to never see you again and suddenly you’re worried about me. That’s…weird. Don’t ya think?”
The whole night was weird. Getting drunk, my behavior, how fast it all happened, Grant stepping in out of nowhere.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I think you’ve sobered up enough. I’m going to take you home now.” We drove the rest of the way in silence.
We pulled in front of my house and even though I was able to walk on my own again, Grant walked me to the door. It was a nice gesture, although, I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was by it. Grant was the nice guy. I always knew that. This whole saving me thing was just who he was. The nice guy.
“I want to say a few things to you, but I don’t think now is the right time.”
I swung my head around to look at him. “What kind of things? Are you gonna give me another lecture?”
He considered my question for a few seconds. He looked down and his eyes connected with mine. Usually when that happened, I looked away, but I held the contact with his emerald eyes and oddly, my heart took off beating in a different rhythm than I was used to.
“Yes,” he answered. “Be ready tomorrow at four o’clock. I’ll be back here to pick you up.”
Confused, I walked into the front hall of my home. The emotion that confused me the most was the excitement I felt for the lecture I would be getting the next day.
Chapter Seven
Jim loaded the last box into his car and turned to hug us all goodbye.
“Remember, be careful up at school,” he said, all tough and big brotherly. I rolled my eyes. ‘Be careful at school’, I’d have to write that pearl of wisdom down somewhere so I wouldn’t forget.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him and ran back into the house before I watched my mom start her weep fest. She pretended empty-nest syndrome was going to hit her hard. I happened to believe she was going to flourish with us gone. Maybe she’d find a part-time job or join the gym and lose twenty pounds like she always swore she would do when she had more time.
In my room, I tried on every article of clothing I owned twice. Once with my regular bra, and once, with the padded one that earned me the extra attention the other night. The bra wouldn’t fool Grant. He’d known me too long. I opted for my regular bra and put my make-up on sparingly. I wanted to look nice, but at the same time, not have him think I was trying too hard to impress him. Besides, no matter what I did, I had a feeling Grant wouldn’t be impressed.
My parents invited me to go to the mall with them at three. I said no and then worked hard to encourage them to still go when they rethought the idea. If they were gone when Grant came, it would make life a whole lot easier than explaining why Jim’s friend was there to see me.
At four o’clock, the house was empty and I was dressed in jean shorts, a black tank top and just a few hints of the new make-up highlighting my brown eyes. Grant’s car pulled up and I wasn’t sure whether we were going out, or if I was supposed to invite him in? How long was this lecture going to be? Five minutes? An hour? I waited by the door and ran out when his car pulled in. He rolled down the window.
“Get in.” He motioned to the passenger side and smiled.
“Okay, give me two seconds. I just need to lock up.” My purse was on a table by the door. I grabbed it making sure I had my keys and phone, clicking the lock behind me. I took a few quick breaths to steady my nerves. We were going out.
Grant’s car was nice. Shiny black exterior, leather seats, built in navigation system. His family was on the wealthier side. Even after all these years of being my brother’s friend, I didn’t know much about him, but I did know that.
“Where are we going?”
“Do you drink coffee?”
I didn’t. But I was going to college so it was probably a good time to start. “Yeah, I love coffee.”
My feelings were squashed when he pulled into a Dunkin’ Donuts and we didn’t even go in. Just straight to the drive thru. He ordered a regular; light and sweet, then looked to me for my order. Unsure, I smiled and said, “The same”.
Two coffees to go and we were on our way. I still didn’t know what the plan was or where we were going with our Styrofoam cups. We drove only a couple of miles before Grant pulled into the driveway of a humongous white home with tall columns. He drove the car aro
und back and parked. The lack of talking we had done during this outing was getting weird. I had no idea where we even were. Possibly his house? I held onto my coffee and followed him into a back door of the big mansion.
Stepping inside was not what I expected. The space was small, kind of like an apartment. From where I was standing, I could see a small kitchen that opened up into a living area.
“Is this your house?” I asked, taking my first sip of the coffee.
“Well, this is my parents’ house, but this right here,” he swept his arm around the small space, “is my apartment. They had it built in after I graduated high school. When I didn’t go to college right away, I think they thought they were going to be supporting me for the rest of my life and this was their way of keeping me hidden. My older sister, Julie, went to college right away and has been on her own ever since. I think my parents didn’t want everyone knowing their grown son was slacking off and still living at home.”
He sat down on a brown leather couch and I took a seat on the smaller couch next to it. The space was small but the décor was really nice. Artistic black and white photos of old airplanes lined the walls.
“So, you don’t go to college?” I assumed he had been in college all these years like the rest of the guys.
“Not right away. I took some time to figure out what I wanted to do. And when I finally sorted out what that was, I went. Next week, I head back to Florida to start my second year. So, while everyone is graduating this year, I’m still going to have quite a bit of time left.”
“Florida? What did you sort out? What is it you want to do?”
He pointed to the framed prints. “Fly planes. I want a degree in aviation.”
A pilot. That was impressive. That was hot. A vision of him in a uniform and mirrored aviators flashed before me. Make that really freaking hot. I wanted to ask more questions about where he was going to school and what kind of planes he wanted to fly, but I held back. I needed to remember this wasn’t a friend outing. This was me getting lectured for my embarrassing behavior over the last few days, by one of my brother’s friends who told me I was pretty, but couldn’t tell me how.
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