“No, it was actually good that you said all those things because I was totally being used. Around that time, I was making so many bad choices, you know that.”
“Yes, but luckily, you walked away from those bad choices before you got hurt. You told me you learned from it.”
I lowered my eyes and stared at the floor. “Not exactly.”
My brother cupped his chin and sighed. He closed his eyes. “What happened?”
“There was one guy around that time. I thought it was different. We spent some time together and I kind of…”
“What? Had sex?” Jim coiled back in horror.
“Um…well, yes, but that wasn’t where I was going with this.” I coughed, embarrassed.
“What happened?”
“I fell in love with the guy.” I covered my face. “I mean really fell hard. I thought what was happening between us was real. It wasn’t. I was completely blindsided. I didn’t realize he was using me until it was too late.”
Jim stood up. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? I could have done something. I could have kicked his ass.”
“What would that have done? It wouldn’t have changed anything. Besides it was so bad I sent him running, not just from me, but from everyone. It was because of me he felt like he needed to disappear. And that’s kind of when I knew I reached the point where I needed to make changes.”
“Disappear? I’m not following.” Jim cocked his eyebrows. “Who is this guy? Do I know him?”
I nodded and the stupid tears returned. “It was Grant.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Grant
“No. Way!” Julie and Gabby both stated dramatically in unison.
“No way what?” I asked, confused turning to face them.
“There is no way in hell we would ever let you go for a girl like that.” Julie laughed, patting me on the back.
“Like what?” I questioned, lifting my brow.
Gabby shook her head giggling and Julie answered for both of them.
“A desperate girl with big, fake boobs.”
* * *
My sister and Gabby drove home to their husbands and I walked back into the bar.
I needed to get another look at the well-endowed blonde with the silver bracelet on her wrist. It wasn’t her; it couldn’t be, but I needed to make sure.
I stood in the background and watched. It definitely wasn’t her. Nothing about the girl resembled who I thought it might have been. One of the girls nudged the blonde and pointed in my direction, busting me and my evident observing.
The blonde giggled turning toward me and blew a kiss in my direction. The hand she used to send a kiss my way gave me another look at the lonely charm of hearts dangling on the silver chain. Her puckered lips dropped open as she met my stare.
Holy shit! It was her.
I took a few steps forward but she quickly turned away and pushed through her friends disappearing out of sight. By the time I reached the circle of girls where she had been standing, she was gone.
“That girl who was just here, what’s her name?” I demanded, still scanning the room for any trace of her.
“Why don’t you tell me your name first?” Red polished nails wrapped around my bicep and a voice purred in my ear.
“My name is Grant and I want to know the name of the girl who just left here.” My face held a firm expression. “Is it Tori?”
“Grant, that’s a sexy name. My name is Kenna.” She linked her arm with mine. “Why don’t you buy me a drink?”
I pulled my arm away. This wasn’t the time for silly flirting. “Was that Tori Albert or not?”
“It doesn’t matter who she is. If she ran away when she saw you, there must have been a good reason.” Kenna dropped the smile and turned her back to me rejoining her friends.
Valid point. Once she realized it was me, she ran. Just because I’d spent these past few years trying to unsuccessfully get Tori out of my head didn’t mean she’d ever thought about me. She’d obviously moved on with her life. I barely recognized her. But was that the bracelet I gave her? Why was she wearing it?
I walked dejectedly out to the parking lot and waited for the fresh night air to clear my head.
“Grant.” The sound of her voice stopped me in my tracks.
I circled around and faced her. “Tori?” I had to question if it was really even her.
She approached me frowning and curling her fingers into little fists. “Did you see my brother? Is that why you’re here?”
“No, um, no, I met my sister and her friend for a drink. I…I haven’t talked to Jim in years,” I stammered still in shock at her appearance, getting a close look at her under the streetlights. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”
She didn’t say anything. She bit her lip, looking me over from head to toe and back up. Underneath the fake blue of her eyes, I caught a glimpse of something real, something that made me long to pull her against my chest and wrap my arms around her. She looked so lost and sad. It reminded me of the night we had to say goodbye. I wanted to hold her in my arms then, too, but I couldn’t. I had to let her go.
“Are you okay?” I asked, breaking the silence.
Her eyes blinked and she snapped out of whatever moment she was struggling with.
“Yes, I’m fine,” she bubbled in a new sweet voice, plastering on a big smile. “I’m just getting a good look at you. Wow,” her hand wrapped around my bicep just like her friend Kenna’s had, “You look so sexy.” She flirted and giggled.
A switch was flipped, her personality did a one-eighty. A moment ago, I saw a hint of the girl I remembered. Now I was back to not recognizing her.
“You’ve changed so much, Tori.”
“Yes, I know.” She reached into her shirt and adjusted her bra strap. “Thank God for silicone, hair dye and contacts. I look a million times better now.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” I replied. Tori had been beautiful, now she was…different. All her natural beauty was covered.
“Oh, my God, you are so cute. You don’t have to pretend that I was ‘pretty’ back then anymore. After our little week of make-believe, I finally got it.” She admired her long nails and I noticed the bracelet was no longer on her wrist. “I knew I needed to make changes.”
“That wasn’t a week of make-believe.” I gulped. Was she insinuating I had something to do with this new look, and personality? I loved who she was. “I never wanted you to change who you were. I thought you were perfect.”
She pressed her hands into my chest and giggled some more. “Oh, please, I was hideous. I admitted to you that I wanted some experience, and you felt bad, gave me some and then snip-snip.” She made scissor motions with her fingers. “You cut me loose for some ‘pressing issues’ at school on New Year’s Eve. Ugh, I was so ugly and stupid. I don’t blame you one bit. I would have bolted from me back then too.”
“That’s not why I left. I was so in…” I changed what I was really going to say. “I was in a bad position. I had to leave.”
“Yes, I know. I heard all about it. My brother threatened to kill the next guy who used me.” She waved her hand at me. “Enter the next guy who used me.” Her hair blew in a breeze and she smoothed it laughing. “It’s okay. It turned out to be a really valuable lesson for me.” She pulled the bracelet out from her pocketbook and slid it back on. “Guys don’t use me anymore. I wear this bracelet to remind me of what that felt like. Every time I look at this little charm of hearts, I remember to protect myself from guys like you.”
She blinked several times, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of tears forming or from the false blue contacts covering her beautiful brown eyes. I wanted to reach inside of her, grab the girl I remembered and bring her back out.
“Tori, I left because I had to leave. I was in way over my head. There was no other option. You needed me to leave.”
“Oh, that’s great. I needed you to leave me,” she laughed. “That makes no sense.” She w
“That was part of it. You were too trusting. You also trusted Kyle…that guy at the bar; you had no clue what you really wanted. I stepped away so that you could figure out who you really were, what you wanted.”
Her blonde hair shook as she laughed. “I was pretty pathetic, wasn’t I?” She stood up tall and arched her chest forward. “But luckily I was able to start over and rebuild myself into a better version. So, I guess I should thank you. Maybe, you’re right. I did need you to leave me, so I could fix everything that was wrong with me.”
“There was never anything wrong with you,” I reached for her and she flinched away. “You have no idea what really happened.”
“I was an easy mark. A stupid little girl with no self-esteem. You used me. I let you.”
I shook my head fiercely. “No. That wasn’t what happened at all.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Grant- Four Years Ago
“Melody’s shorts riding up the back of her ass had me up half the night with a raging hard-on.” Wade lowered his hand and jerked his hand over his dick, getting a laugh from all of us.
“What size do you think her tits are?” Kyle asked, rubbing his hands together.
Jason claimed a C cup and Wade insisted they were double Ds, squeezing a pair of imaginary tits.
“You know who has fucked-up nipples?” I heard a sharp little intake of breath and looked over at Tori sitting on the corner of the couch. Holy shit. Jason was about to share way too much information right in front of her innocent ears.
“Dude, shut up.” I tipped my head, motioning that Jim’s sister was still in the room.
The guys stopped talking, annoyed they’d have to wait an extra five minutes to be reminded that the fucked-up nipple girl was Gina. Jason had already told us all at least three times. He loved talking about her fucked-up nipples. I was convinced mostly because her fucked-up nipples had dumped his ass.
The room stayed quiet. We all sat there not knowing what conversation was appropriate to have in front of Tori. It was strange she’d gone from gawky little kid to beautiful girl with long, lean legs and a perfect pout almost overnight. It was wrong. We weren’t supposed to notice these changes, but believe me, I had. Jim returned to the room and snapped at Tori to leave. It was rude, but a good reminder that yes, noticing his little sister was very wrong.
She immediately jumped up and ran from the room before any of us could say goodbye to her. When she looked back, I tried smiling, but she looked away and kept going.
“Your sister got all grown up,” Kyle smirked.
“Shut the fuck up, she’s still a kid.” Jim pulled out the bottle of whisky Kyle brought and started lining up shots.
I downed one shot only because I knew this was the last time we’d all be seeing each other for a while. I wasn’t the drinker these guys all were. I never had been.
“She’s eighteen now, right?” Kyle leaned over and whispered so only I could hear him. Obviously, I wasn’t the only one seeing the grown-up changes in Tori.
That bothered me.
I elbowed Kyle in the chest hard and he grunted. He was such a dick sometimes. Most of the time, actually. I gave him a look, letting him know what I thought of his sick question. Eighteen or not, that girl was our best friend’s little sister.
The guys continued getting drunk and acting stupid. Every time I thought we were getting older, maturing, a night like this, consisting of just us guys, always reminded me of how much we weren’t. Well, how much they weren’t.
Lately, I felt like I’d out grown some of the guys. Aside from Jim, they all seemed like they were going in a different direction than I was. Drinking, partying, it just wasn’t my thing. It was probably part of the reason I didn’t just jump into college like the rest of them did. We all graduated high school not knowing what we wanted to do with our lives, but I was the only one who took some time off to actually contemplate it. Make sure of something as serious as my future instead of focusing on which college had the hottest girls and reputation for being the biggest party school. Kyle had already switched majors three times since going away. The guy clearly had no fucking clue what he wanted. He just jumped into everything he did without ever thinking. I wasn’t like that.
My life was thought out, carefully planned.
Jim stepped out to take a call from his girlfriend and I was shocked to see the topic of Tori come back up again. Jason asked if Kyle would ever “do” Tori. No one had a chance to answer before Jim returned, but no one needed to. I saw the answer in their sick, perverted faces.
Jim sat back down with everyone, and they all went right back to normal, as if the topic of doing his sister never happened. However, I did not go back to normal.
Tori may have started looking grown up, but you could just see it when she was around; she was innocent. She had this insecure-girl way about her. Always cowering away from everyone and trying to take in the things going on, all while staying unnoticed in her little corner of the room.
But I noticed her. I noticed the guys noticing her. And I noticed her brother staying oblivious to the whole goddamn situation.
By two in the morning, the guys started settling down. Jason passed out first and paid the dear consequence of a Sharpie facial. I did not participate in coloring his face with permanent marker, but I did laugh. And I did take a few pictures with my phone. It was pretty fucking funny.
Jim went up to his room to sleep. Wade called the big couch and made us swear on our lives we’d leave his face alone. Once we swore, he knocked right out. Kyle’s eyes were heavy and I knew he was on his way to passing out soon too.
I picked up my keys ready to leave.
“Where are you going?” Kyle slurred a little bit. “You can’t drive.”
“I’m good. I had one shot and that was hours ago. I’d rather sleep in my own bed then crumpled up on one of these couches.”
“Yeah,” Kyle rubbed his eyes, looking over at the unoccupied loveseat. “I might have to look around for a better place to crash around here than that little couch.”
“Good luck with that,” I chuckled. “I’ll talk to ya before you leave.”
“Yeah, man. Crazy. Last year of school.”
“For you guys, not for me. And I’m not going to lie; it being your last year is kind of questionable.” They were ending school and I was only starting my second year.
“Go fly those planes, brother.” Kyle grinned, leaning back in the chair and reached for his drink. It was possible he wasn’t ready to pass out just yet.
I crept out of the house quietly and shut the door behind me. I looked, but I wasn’t sure how to lock it before closing. A house full of drunken guys, I figured it was probably safe to leave it unlocked.
I buckled myself in and started the car. Backing out, I looked up at the front of the house to Tori’s room. Being friends with Jim as long as I had, of course I knew which room was hers. We all did.
I stopped.
We all did.
Fuck. Chances were Kyle was going right to sleep. But what if he wasn’t? He would never do anything stupid. Would he? No. He was stupid, but he wasn’t that stupid. I threw the car back in reverse and pulled out of the driveway.
I got as far as Dunkin’ Donuts and I realized I needed to go back. Kyle was that stupid. The “what if” that he might do something wrong was too much of a risk to take.
As soon as I pulled back into the driveway I noticed the light in Tori’s bedroom was now on. Please just let it be a coincidence.
The rest of the house was dark when I walked back in. I was thankful I couldn’t figure out how to lock the front door before. I went into the backroom where we’d all been hanging out. Jason was still passed out covered in marker, and Wade was on the couch. I knew Jim was in his room.
But, son of a bitch, there was no sign of Kyle.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I paced the floor, picked up my phone and dropped it. Did I need to tell Jim what happened? Could I just ignore it? Kyle swore on his life nothing happened. But I know what I saw when I walked in there, a scared girl hiding all the way across the room from a demented jackass with his dick hanging out.
Ah, fuck. I clenched my fists. I’d fixated on this all day long.
Kyle was leaving. Jim was leaving. I was leaving and even Tori was leaving. This was nothing I needed to worry about. In a little over a week, we’d all be gone.
There was nothing to worry about.
Shit. There was.
If Kyle was stupid enough to risk his friendship with Jim over it and Tori was too afraid to just run across the hall and ask her brother for a little help in a situation she clearly didn’t want to be in, then what the hell was gonna happen when she left for school? I needed to talk to Jim, tell him what I witnessed and make sure he had a long talk with Tori before she left. Telling him was going to fracture the group. Jim would be mad at Kyle. Kyle would be mad at me. But what other choice did I have? Jim was like a brother to me. It was my responsibility to do the right thing.
The phone wasn’t gonna cut it. I needed to discuss it with him in person. Calm him down if he freaked out. Groaning under my breath, I jumped in my car and drove over to do the motherfucking right thing.
The doorbell rang and I waited.
I was not prepared for when Tori answered the door with damp hair and her pretty fresh face. No one should look that good in a simple t-shirt.
She told me Jim wasn’t there. Fine, I’d be back. She stopped me. Asked me what I needed to tell Jim. I was honest and let her know, she didn’t need to worry. It was Kyle’s fault not hers.
I was even less prepared for the things that came out of her mouth after that.
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