“Yes, I’m a pilot for Divisional Airlines. What about you? Are you teaching?”
“That’s amazing. Look at you, a big, handsome pilot. Are you part of the mile high club yet?” I smiled and bit my lip. I even leaned forward pressing my breasts together for some enhanced cleavage. He tipped his chin down and frowned. He wasn’t interested. I took a few more sips of my coffee. It wasn’t going well. I needed to try harder. “I’m waitressing for now.” I coughed moving on. “The bar I saw you at tonight, that’s kind of far from home. Are you living over this way now?” My stomach tightened with a glimmer of hope.
“My sister lives down here. She got married two years ago and they bought a house not too far from that bar. I have an apartment in Florida. That’s where I’m based. When I’m in Jersey, I stay at my parents’ house or with my sister. I’m not in Jersey too often anymore.” He shifted in his seat. “Most of my friends are in Florida.”
We both sipped.
“Jim and Jeanie got married. They have a little boy. Wade is married with a kid on the way. Jason is engaged, so is Kyle,” I volunteered, hoping that would make things less awkward, but once it left my mouth it only made things tense.
“Your brother said he was going to look out for you.” Grant swallowed. “I guess family life kept him busy.” He covered his mouth and looked down at the floor.
“I didn’t need anyone looking out for me. I did just fine on my own.” Mentioning the old friends he abandoned was a stupid idea. Conversation was not my specialty, flirting was. I needed to get back to that.
“What about you? Are you single, engaged, married?” he asked and it was just the opportunity I needed to turn the conversation into a more fun direction.
“I’m single.” I tapped my foot playfully against his under the table. “I am very single. And you?”
“I’m single.” His feet moved away from mine, curling back under his seat. “School kept me busy. My new job keeps me busy.”
I struggled for a flirty remark. Nothing came to me. Strange. I always had something flirty ready to go. Kenna taught me a response to just about everything. I rubbed my elbow absently. I had nothing. I stood up and dumped the remainder of my coffee and the donut into the trash. Grant followed suit and we exited the small shop.
It wasn’t the same Dunkin’ Donuts we used to meet at, but standing together in the parking lot brought a lot of my old feelings to the surface. The time we just spent talking felt like a waste, neither of us said all that much. It wasn’t exactly the reunion I’d dreamed of.
I had two fantasies of running into him. One where he saw me and fell helplessly in love with me and I got to reject him, and another one, where we saw each other and started right back up where we left off. But this time it would be better because of all my improvements. Neither one of those was panning out.
Our cars were parked close and we walked over to them without saying a word. I couldn’t just let him go. It couldn’t end like this. All these years and then finally getting to see him, I didn’t want it to end with a few lame words over coffee.
I stepped in front of him. My high-heeled boots brought me closer to his height. I rested my hands on his chest and slid them up to his neck and he brought his mouth down to mine. We kissed. His lips responded to mine. I opened my eyes, while his stayed closed. I wanted to make sure this was real. I moved in closer pushing my body into his. A moment later, he broke away. My red lipstick smeared across his lips. I smiled.
“I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to kiss you again for years.” Grant stilled. His arms relaxed down at his sides. “But this,” he waved a finger between us, “doesn’t feel natural.”
“Oh,” I laughed and looked down. “They’re not. They’re fake.”
He closed his eyes and sighed. “That’s not what I mean. I always envisioned seeing you again and getting back what we had. Starting again. The right way. We’d be older, wiser, more mature and it would work this time. But looking at you and talking to you, I don’t even know who you are. You’re different from the girl I fell for all those years ago and haven’t stopped thinking about ever since.”
“Fell for?” The smile left my face. Anger took the place of my bruised pride. “You never fell for me, Grant. I was the one who fell for you. And if you still don’t like what you see, that’s fine, because let me tell you, there are plenty of guys who do,” I fumed. “Plenty! And now that I look and act the way I do—that I’ve got my act together—I get to be the one to tell them goodbye. I walk out on them. Sorry to have disappointed you again, Grant. Goodbye. Have a nice life.”
“Tori, wait.” Grant place his hand around my wrist but I yanked it from his grasp. The bracelet I’d clung to like a safety net all these years fell to the ground. Good. I didn’t need it anymore. I was done with everything Grant. It was my way of finally letting go of what I should have a long time ago.
I jumped into my car and slammed the door. “You had better start motherfucker,” I mumbled under my breath to my piece-of-shit car and turned the key in the ignition. It started. Hallelujah. I reversed and got the hell out of there.
Away from the guy who had rejected me twice.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Grant
I stared ahead as the nose of the plane broke through the clouds. The flight attendant entered the cockpit and handed us each a coffee. It wasn’t Dunkin’ Donuts, but I’d grown to like or at least tolerate the coffee Divisional Airlines served.
“Grant, if you need anything else, you just let me know.” Ana leaned down and gave me a generous view of her ample cleavage. I watched as she refastened the buttons on her usually modest blouse before stepping through the small enclosure.
“Goddamn, she does that every time just for you and still nothing?” Lou shook his head at me disappointed. “I’d hit that so hard. I don’t know what’s wrong with you. She is waving you in. Who do you have waiting for you at home that you can turn that down?”
“I don’t have anyone waiting for me at home. I just know my type and she isn’t it.” I grabbed for the microphone and held it up to my mouth. “We’ve now reached our cruising altitude of flight level three-three-zero. I’ll go ahead and turn off the seat belt sign.”
“Oh, she’s not your type.” Lou sat up in his seat and stretched his neck to the side.
“Don’t worry, Lou, you’re not my type either.” I chuckled, taking the first sip of my coffee.
“Hey, we all got our own preferences. I just wouldn’t mind a little of that extra attention from Ana myself.” Lou coughed.
“Well, it’s probably that whole wife and kids thing you have going on that’s throwing her off.”
“Yup, that’ll do it.” He raised his eyebrows. “So what is your type?”
“Eh, I’m not even sure anymore. Every girl seems to have one look lately, and overdone Barbie doll just isn’t my thing.” My mind flashed to the overdone Barbie doll I’d recently run into. After years of thinking about her, wondering how she was, I’d finally seen her. And I almost wish I hadn’t.
Seeing her again had thrown me off more than I could have ever imagined. Her appearance had changed, and so had her personality. Yet underneath it all, I still managed to get a glimpse of the girl I fell in love with buried underneath the façade. When we kissed, I felt that same connection, but it faded quickly. Things just weren’t right. We needed to talk more, but she wouldn’t let me explain. I tried. Her view of the past between us was set in stone. According to her, I used her and moved on. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Instead of talking, all she wanted to do was put on some phony show trying to impress me with her new persona. How could I be impressed by something that wasn’t real?
I fell in love with Tori a long time ago. I wasn’t even sure when it happened. It might have been the night I knocked on her door looking for Jim.
The soft kiss before she left for college and our encounter over Thanksgiving had me twisted in knots. By Christmas, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I knew t
“Hey, co-pilot, you look lost in the clouds. Are you rethinking the Ana thing? Maybe take her up on one of her tempting invitations?” Lou snapped me back to attention. “If you do though, I demand full details. Graphic details. Leave nothing out.”
“Sure. I promise you. If something happens between me and Ana, I’ll give you every detail.” Nothing would ever happen between Ana and me so it was easily a promise I could keep. “You remind me of my old friends back in Jersey.”
“Is that where you’re from?”
“Yeah, I grew up there. I only relocated to Florida a few years ago.”
“So then you hit the jackpot with this route, Miami to Newark. Makes it easy for you to visit your friends and family.”
“I don’t really have many friends in Jersey anymore,” I stated and took a big gulp of my coffee. My only close friend was Charley, who in the last few months was surprisingly in a committed relationship. I was seeing less and less of him between our different flying schedules, and him finding his “soul mate” on a “flight to Heaven”.
“Yeah, but all that social media crap keeps you updated.”
“No, I’ve always stayed away from all that.”
“Eh-well, it happens.” Lou shrugged. “You get older and you lose touch.”
I nodded, ending the conversation there. I thought back to the last night that I saw all my friends. I left knowing Jim was going to step in, be more involved in Tori’s life. Get her on the right path. He obviously didn’t do that. He said he was going to help her build confidence, but I highly doubted that her new lifestyle was what he wanted for her. Things must have thrown him off. Jim had a wife and a kid. Once again, Tori got lost in the shuffle.
It was the bracelet though that was confusing the hell out of me. Why was she really still wearing it all these years later? One charm on a chain meant to be filled with charms. She claimed it was a reminder not to let anyone use her anymore and maybe that was the truth. Or maybe she held onto it for the same reason I continued buying charms for it. I had a drawer in my apartment loaded with little boxes of charms I’d picked up over the years. Her birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, I always went to the store and picked up a charm. It was my way of always keeping her part of my life in some small way. As many times as I tried, I could never let her go.
“It’s time to reconnect,” I said absently.
“Reconnect with what?” Lou looked down at the panel in front of us.
“I need to reconnect with my friends in Jersey. It’s possible I can fix things. I need to at least try.”
“Nice. You should.” Lou raised his shoulder and nodded. “Any of those friends you want to reconnect with a girl?”
“Yeah. One of them is a girl.” I grinned. “Not just a girl. I think she’s the girl.”
“Don’t forget. Details.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Tori
“I’m fine, Kenna. Seeing him did not fuck me up.” I slammed the drawer on my dresser. “Where the hell is my red bra with the lace? Did you borrow it again without asking? Do me a favor and leave my shit alone. You have enough of your own fucking bras.”
“Okay, calm down and take a breath.” Kenna held her hands up. “It’s just one guy. Don’t let him screw up your head.”
“He didn’t want me then. He doesn’t want me now. I don’t understand.” I flopped back onto my bed and pulled on my hair. I felt something when I was with Grant. I felt it back then and I even felt it the other night when I saw him again. “Why doesn’t he want me? What do I keep doing wrong?”
“Nothing, sweetie. It is so not you. Look at yourself. You’re perfect. If he can’t see that then—”
“Then what?” I rose up on my elbows, tilting my head at Kenna.
She twirled her hair. “Maybe he’s into dudes.”
“He’s not into dudes.” I sighed, falling back. “I actually wish he was. It wouldn’t hurt as bad. At least I would know it wasn’t me.”
Kenna opened my drawer and dug through it searching. “Here it is.” She flung the lacy bra I accused her of taking, at me. “Put this on. Get ready. We’re going out.”
“I don’t want to.” I tossed the bra to the side and rolled over, closing my eyes. “I just want to go to bed.”
“No, you just want to sit around and mope. That’s not allowed. Get up and put that beautiful face on.” Kenna stood up on the bed with her legs spread, her feet on both sides of my body and began jumping. “I have a good feeling about tonight. Like fate or something. You need to go out tonight.”
That was Kenna. That was what she did: harass and annoy until she got her way. The bouncing was making me dizzy. There was no other answer, but yes. I pulled her ankle and she fell on her ass springing the bed up and down.
“Fine, I’ll go out and meet my fate.” I rolled my eyes.
“Listen, Tori, for your own good, let Grant go. I know you always said you were over him and I always let you pretend that you were. But it’s time. You saw him. He saw the new you and it was still nothing. Move on.” She puckered her lips in a frown. “I’m sorry. I know it hurts, but I love you and I can’t stand seeing you waste another minute on that guy.”
She was right. Ugh. So freaking right. I needed to move on. The only way I was going to do that was by meeting someone new and actually giving them a chance. I spent so much time comparing every guy I met to Grant that I never gave any one a fair chance. Time to change that.
Bam. Blue contacts and full make-up.
Boom. Hair piled high in a sexy ponytail.
Kapow. Killer high heels and a skintight dress clinging to my curves.
I was ready. Time to see what fate had in store for me.
Kenna held my hand in a tight grip as we entered into a brand new club across town. Locked together and pushing our way through the crowd, we owned it. Every girl hated us and every guy wanted us. We were gold.
I had a drink being handed to me before I even made it to the dance floor. I refused it. The guy walked away a rejected little puppy. Kenna raised a brow at me.
“Tonight, I pick out the guy and I send him a drink.” I leaned over and spoke into her ear so she could hear me over the music.
“I told you,” she grinned from ear to ear, “I have a good feeling about tonight. Fate,” she repeated the word again.
The music pulsed and we danced until the unwanted hands and grinding body parts became too much. We took a breather and were in need of a drink. The shiny lacquer bar was crowded but two guys stood up and offered us their seats. We took the seats, then turned our backs on the guys.
The bartender came right over. I slipped a fifty from my wallet and handed it to him. “We’re buying our own drinks tonight. Understand? Anyone offers you, tell them we said ‘no thank you’.” He gave a nod and we ordered two Cosmos.
“Okay.” Kenna’s gaze roamed the club. “Time to pick out the lucky guy.”
Every guy I saw was wrong. The only guy I wanted was the one who rejected me. But I was done being sad over him. I wasn’t right for Grant then, and I still wasn’t right for him now. Maybe I only wanted him because he didn’t want me. I had loved him and I thought seeing him again would be some type of redemption. I thought for sure he would want me now. If anything, I thought I’d be the one rejecting him. But I’d kissed him, felt something, and then was rejected again.
I looked at all the different faces then stopped and locked eyes with another face from my past. I knew who he was instantly. His name didn’t come to me right away, but a few more glances in his direction and it clicked. Brendan.
I signaled for the bartender and ordered a drink to be sent to Brendan. “Make sure you tell him it’s from me,” I winked at the bartender.
“Oh, my God, which guy? Show me.” Kenna tugged on my arm.
“Wait for it. Right, there.” I pointed at the guy receiving the drink. “The guy in the black shirt looking over at us. Wave.”
Kenna and I both lifted our hands and waved. A big shit-eating grin grew across his face. He held the drink up in appreciation and left his seat at the bar working his way over to us.
I’d have my redemption after all.
“What did I do to have the prettiest girl in the bar buy me a drink?” He leaned his arm on the back of my stool and I turned to face him.
“Brendan, right?” I smiled.
“Yes.” He raised his eyebrows, giving me a closer look. “How do you know my name?”
Kenna took a sip of her Cosmo and looked curiously over her shoulder at the guy in front of me.
“We hung out a few years back. You don’t remember me?” I tilted my head and lifted my shoulder flirtatiously.
“No, and trust me, I would never forget a girl like you.” He actually stuck his tongue out and licked his bottom lip like an animal.
I ran my fingers over his forearm and he moved in closer. “Well, we had coffee. You weren’t very chatty. You were kind of an asshole, but I still invited you back to my dorm and then, hmm,” I tapped my finger on my chin, “Oh, that’s right, you asked if I had a dick.”
Kenna’s pink drink came splattering out, flying from her lips. Brendan’s mouth dropped, and I turned back around in my seat feeling an enormous amount of satisfaction.
I picked my drink back up and Kenna flicked her glass into mine with a clink. “That was priceless.” She dabbed a tear away from her eye brought on by her laughter.
“You were right about fate. It was absolute fate that he was here tonight. I’ve been wanting to do that for years.” I shook out my hair and sipped.
“I’m still here,” Brendan said from behind us. “I’m not walking away that easy.”
I glanced back.
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