I don’t think you’re going to enjoy this, no matter how I say it. Cassie fought to control her mind. If she truly trusted God, like Mavis kept trying to teach her, the fear of what’s ahead would not be gnawing on her stomach. Lord God, how can I do this?
When they were situated on the back porch overlooking the growing garden and the oak trees on the rise behind the ranch house, Cassie rolled her lips together. “Mavis, I cannot stay here.” There, she had said it.
“Oh.” Mavis nodded slightly.
“I know Ransom dislikes me, intensely. You said he does not hate me, but I know he blames me for all the problems around here.”
Mavis held her coffee cup in both hands and tipped her head against the back of the rocking chair they had moved outside. “And how do you know that?”
She sounded peaceful, as if they were discussing what to serve for dinner. Cassie laid a hand on her middle, trying to keep the rest of her from shaking. “I heard him say that.”
The rocking chair sang its rocking song. Two birds up in the oak tree were having a rather heated discussion. Othello came and lay at Cassie’s feet and then sat up to rest his chin on her knees. His eyes implored her not to be upset. She stroked his head. “At the furniture booth last week.”
“I see.” Mavis took a sip of her coffee and moved her head from side to side, small motions that told Cassie she was thinking hard. And most likely praying. “And what did you do when you heard him say that?”
“I left.” I couldn’t stand to hear any more.
“Then you didn’t hear him say how grateful he was that you came into our lives. That since you came, the furniture business is bringing in the needed cash money. George saved the calves from the wolves. How much you contributed to the success of the Hill City Wild West show and rodeo, and he figures you are the reason for our success.”
Cassie stared at her. “You’re making that up.”
“Dearest Cassie, have you ever heard me speak an untruth? At least knowingly?”
Cassie shook her head and hid behind her coffee cup. “Then why doesn’t he talk to me? Why does he act like I’m not here?”
“Because he’s afraid.”
“Hah! Ransom is not afraid of anything. When I was in trouble, he stood up to three grown men.” And he said, “Cassie is family.” It still rang in her heart.
“Oh, when it comes to manly things, like defending a lady, he’s fearless. It’s emotions he fears, especially his own. He’s afraid he’s fallen in love with you and that you declared Engstrom men could not be trusted. That was when you were so angry with Lucas.”
“But it’s my fault Lucas left.”
“No, no. Lucas left because he finally realized he was making a mistake. Then he made a bigger mistake by not talking his feelings over with any of us. Betsy is the right woman for him. In that he did not make a mistake.” She half smiled. “You were wise when you said you loved him like a brother. He just had some growing up to do yet.”
Cassie stared at the garden rail fence, seeing but not seeing the targets Chief had lined up for her there. Ransom was afraid of loving her? The tingle she first felt in her middle warmed to a glow. Cassie opened her mouth to say something and then shut it again. Finally she screwed up the courage to ask, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why is he afraid?”
Mavis shrugged and shook her head at the same time. “Why anything. Because he’s a man. Because he sees himself as slow of speech. Because he is Ransom, and he can’t bear the thought of rejection.”
“He sure manages to say a lot for someone who thinks he is slow of speech.”
“Compared to his brother?”
“Who is glib and speaks before he thinks?” Cassie smiled.
“Well, that too.” Mavis reached for a cookie. “So what are you going to do about this?”
“What do you mean, me? He’s the man. He makes the decisions.”
“Bottom line question: Do you love him?”
Cassie answered without a pause. “Yes.”
“Then we’ll keep praying about this and see how God works it out.”
Othello leaped to his feet and raced off around the house to join Benny in announcing someone was coming.
Mavis frowned. “Too soon for Ransom to return. So now who?”
The dogs quit barking, and no one knocked at the front door. The murmur of a male voice arrived before Lucas appeared around the corner of the house. No Hello! No I’m back. Just “What is Arnett doing up on that ladder?”
Curiously, Mavis did not greet him.
So Cassie started right in. “The three of them are doing a job you promised to do several months ago.”
“He could slip and fall.”
“True.” She could feel anger building, or at least righteous indignation.
Mavis asked, “Is he on the roof or on the ladder?”
“On the ladder with his belt buckle pushed up against the eave. He’s nailing down all the shingles he can reach, leaning way out.”
Cassie almost had to smile. Well, he promised not to climb up on the roof, didn’t he?
Lucas asked, almost like demanding, “Where’s Ransom?”
“Taking our guests to the train, if it is any of your business. And hello to you too.”
Lucas had the grace to look sheepish. “Sorry. Hello, Cassie, Mor.” He glanced over his shoulder. “That just scared me. He’s too old to be doing things like that.”
Cassie snorted. “I wouldn’t mention that to him if I were you. Where’s Betsy?”
“With her folks. We took a few days off at the hotel so we could come visit.” He looked at the small stack of split wood. “No one has time to split wood even?”
“Been a bit busy here,” Mavis drastically understated. “Our guests thought splitting and stacking wood, though necessary, was hard work. They cook with gas back home. I’m not worried. The Stilson boys will set to that when they come tomorrow.”
“Stilson boys? Ransom has the money to hire help?” Lucas was frowning.
So here was Lucas, gone for how long, and now he thought he could evaluate and criticize. That irritated Cassie immensely. “There’s a lot of work to do here. He had no choice, and they are good workers.” She held out the plate of cookies. “You plan to stay for dinner?”
He took one. “Not sure I’d be welcome.” He slumped down on the top step and leaned against one of the posts holding up the porch, sat up, and then dropped forward again, his elbows on his knees. “Mor, I’ve come to ask your forgiveness, and yours too, Cassie. I sure made a mess of things.”
Why couldn’t she be more gentle and charitable, like Mavis? “You did, when all you had to do was have the guts to talk to us. Sure, we’d have been hurt and probably angry, but we could have worked it out. Better than you running out on us.”
His voice choked. “Mor, please, can you forgive me?”
“Of course I can, and I already have.”
“Cassie, I know I treated you shamefully.”
“I was hurt and then angry and then I got over it. And yes, I forgive you too.” Did she really? Yes, she could honestly say she did.
“And Ransom?”
Mavis wagged her head. “Cassie and I cannot speak for him. The two of you will have to work that out.”
“He wouldn’t even talk to me in Hill City. Until that dustup. I heard Talbot and his two friends hightailed it out of here. Bet they forfeited bond.”
“Long story, but all is taken care of.” Mavis pushed to her feet. “Come, Cassie. We better get dinner ready. And of course you are welcome to stay, Lucas. Ransom and Gretchen should be home in a couple of hours.”
He grimaced. “Maybe I’d better start splitting some wood.”
“Go take care of your horse first.”
Cassie watched Lucas rise and go back around the corner. Obviously, a married man is still his mama’s son, to do as he was told. She noted too that no longer did he walk with that cocky stride he used to. It looked
almost like life had taken him down a peg or three.
She followed Mavis into the house. What a day this was turning into. And she’d not even brought up the contract she’d been offered, and not the one from Talbot either.
The ring of ax on wood nearly drowned out the arrival of Ransom and Gretchen, especially since the dogs didn’t bark. Gretchen came popping into the kitchen. “The Prewskys are on their way home, and Ransom’s putting the team away. Mor, is that Lucas’s horse in the small field?” She paused at her mother’s nod. “And he’s splitting wood?” Another nod. “Oh boy, are we in for it now.”
33
What do you think you’re doing?” Rage ate at the back of Ransom’s throat. Here he was, just like all their growing-up years. Splitting wood as if nothing more than a simple schoolboy disagreement had happened.
“Chopping wood. What does it look like?” Lucas split another round, slamming in the wedge with the maul and then setting up the halves to split again.
“What do you want?” Ransom tested the blade on the other ax with his fingers.
“I want to set things right. I’m sorry, Ransom.”
“You think you can come waltzing in here, say you’re sorry, and everything will be all right again?” Ransom balanced a round on the other block and slammed the ax down so hard the two split pieces flew into the air and thudded some ways away.
“No, I don’t think that.” Slam, thud. Set up another chunk. “But I am admitting that I made a mistake.”
“A mistake? A mistake is forgetting to close the barn door. Mistakes aren’t deliberate. You left all of us in the lurch, including Cassie. Especially Cassie, the woman you had decided you would marry. Remember, Lucas? Remember?” Ransom peeled off his shirt. “In the middle of the night you took off without telling any of us. Betsy’s folks were frantic. They were over here early, thinking we were in on it. No one knew where you were. If I could’ve caught you, I swear I—”
Slam, split, screeching wood, and whistling axes. Grunts and mutterings.
“I know. I was there, remember? And I’ve regretted how I ran every day since. But I did it, and now I’m asking for your forgiveness for doing it. Ransom, I want to come home. I know you need me.”
Ransom leaned on his ax handle. “That’s another mistake to your credit, Lucas. We do not need you. We did need you, but we survived, that storm in May and all, with all of us working beyond our strength. Thank the good Lord, we survived, and while there’s always work to do, thanks to the furniture line, we can hire help. Dependable help.”
He picked up his ax again and buried the head firmly in the quarter round he’d set in place. Usually splitting wood helped him think better. Right now all it did was paint a red rage across the back of his eyes.
Lucas rammed a splitting wedge in next to Ransom’s buried ax head and struck it with the maul. It dropped through and the split wood went flying. “We could live in Arnett’s house.”
“Already taken.”
“The guesthouse.”
“You’ll have to ask Mor. The guest ranching is her side.”
“I don’t even have to live here, you know. I have a good job in Hill City, and Betsy’s father already said I can come to work for him anytime.”
“Then go do it.”
“God help you, Ransom, if you ever make a mistake.”
“As I said—”
“I know, a mistake is forgetting to close the gate.” Three more chunks flew after the others. “I can’t undo the past. What do I have to do to make it right with you?”
Ransom tossed two more pieces onto the growing woodpile. He stared at the chopping block in front of him, unable to think of an answer that hadn’t been said already.
Thwack! Lucas settled another round on his block. “I told Betsy you’d never forgive me. I told her I know you, but she said I had to try. She says we’re brothers, and that’s what brothers do.” He thunked the front corner of his ax blade into the chopping block and picked up his shirt. Shoving his sweaty arms into the sleeves of his shirt, he settled his hat on his head. “Good-bye, Ransom.” He tossed a couple more pieces on the pile and strode toward the back door.
“Where are you going?”
“To say good-bye to Mor and the others.”
“Running off again.”
“No, Ransom. This time I am not running. I am leaving like a man. I have done what I can, and I have no idea what else to say to you.”
Chuck. Thud. Ransom balanced another round on the block. The memory of picking himself out of the dirt after that Jones henchman caught him with a punch to the belly—and Lucas standing there solid, right beside him. Whack! Lucas hauling over the steam engine so they could turn those pine trees into supports for the mine. Another round. Chuck. Was the mine a mistake of his own that God kept him from taking further? Lucas skipping out of work by going hunting, true, but then he’d bring home money from the game he sold to the hotel. His mother during one of her forgiveness pitches mentioning the elder brother in the story of the Prodigal Son: “this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.” And what if something happened to Lucas, and Ransom never saw his brother again?
“Lucas!” Ransom roared out the name. His brother was nowhere in sight. He tore into the house. “Where is he?”
“Gone down to saddle his horse.” Mavis wore a weary look that added one more crack to his breaking heart.
“God forgive me, Mor. God forgive me.” He stormed out the front door and down to the barn, where Lucas was just mounting. He sensed the women somewhere behind him, but he didn’t look. They melted away as Ransom hollered his brother’s name again. There, down by the barn.
Lucas was half in the saddle, swinging his leg up over the saddle roll. He paused, watched Ransom approach, and swung back down. Reins in his hand, he turned to face his brother.
“Lucas, I’m sorry. We can’t part this way. You asked for forgiveness and I—well, I couldn’t. Now it is my turn. Will you forget what has just gone on? And we can start again? Forgive your hardhearted brother and come home.” Ransom flung his arms around his brother and pounded him on the back. For the first time in his life, he was not ashamed of tears.
Lucas didn’t bother to wipe the tears from his face either. He nodded and hugged his brother back. “I can’t promise we won’t ever end up splitting wood again.”
“How could Mor do all her cooking if we agreed all the time?” Ransom stepped back and, with a lightning move he’d not even considered, landed a sucker punch right into Lucas’s diaphragm.
Lucas flew backward and hit the ground with another “oof.” He shook his head and grinned up at his brother.
“I know. I deserved that.”
Reaching out a hand, Ransom first helped him to his feet and then helped him dust off. “I didn’t plan that.”
“I know.” Lucas rubbed his middle. “You do pack a powerful punch. Let’s hope this is the last time we need fists.”
“The woodpile is better. I can’t say I’m sorry.”
“Not necessary.”
Ransom heaved a sigh and shook his head, flexing his fist. “Do you need to return to Hill City?”
“Yes, to finish up some things there. We can be back in a week or so.”
“The guesthouse will be ready for you. Or we’ll talk about Arnett’s house. He and Chief have been living there some so they don’t have to come and go every day.”
“Betsy and I will be back. We just need to spend a little time with her folks too.”
“Good. I have one other thing to clear up, and we can make some plans for another house.”
Lucas opened his mouth, closed it again, and rode away.
The women were stepping close behind him. Ransom waited until Lucas was out the lane before turning to them. “Let’s go eat. We’ve got lots to do.” God, you got me through that one, now comes the real challenge.
Mavis gave him a pat on the shoulder as they returned to the house.
What
is happening now? Every time Cassie looked up, Ransom was staring at her. Well, not staring exactly, just looking. Studying. He even smiled. After all that chopping and yelling, how could he be smiling? She glanced at Mavis. She looked more like a cat that had just cleaned up the cream. She and Gretchen stared at each other and shrugged. Obviously someone else in this room was as confused as Cassie.
Chief, Micah, and Arnett ate fast and then excused themselves, saying they had to finish the barn roof. They nearly ran over each other getting out the door, as if escaping. And no one mentioned Lucas! Things were getting stranger and stranger. Good thing she could spend the afternoon shooting and working with Wind Dancer. At least he didn’t confuse her. And trying to make a decision on that show contract. Shooting events was one thing, but this was for the show season, to finish in the fall. Did she want to take Wind Dancer and Othello and go on the road? This show was on the up and up and promised her a hefty sum of money. Enough to buy cattle and maybe even a couple of Appaloosa horses. Continuing her father’s dream, as well as Ransom’s. He had mentioned Appaloosas once.
She’d not shown the contract to anyone yet, instead praying for wisdom and God’s will. Did He want her to go back on the show circuit? So far she had no answers.
“Something is bothering you,” Mavis said at the end of the meal.
Cassie wasn’t even sure what she’d eaten. How to bring this up? She should have mentioned it three days ago, when it came in the mail. So much had gone on already, perhaps she should just wait until tomorrow.
“I repeat, something is bothering you.” Mavis didn’t ask a question; she stated a fact.
Cassie tried to brush her off with a shrug and a headshake but instead had to blink back tears. This should be a happy event. She was being offered a chance to earn enough money in a couple of months to really make a difference around here. Not that they were in as difficult times as last fall, but perhaps she could begin to make her father’s dream come true. Where did one buy Appaloosa horses?
Just get this over with. The prompting voice sounded a bit peeved, as if tired of her vacillating. She pulled the envelope out of her apron pocket and laid it on the table. “I have been offered a contract to star in a well-known Wild West show, one of the few that is still in production. The contract includes my shooting act and trick riding, so Wind Dancer would go with me.”
Place to Belong, a Page 33