by Coe Booth
“Ay, dios mio!” She cover her mouth with her hands. “That poor little baby.” Then she start crying herself.
I put my arms ‘round her and try to tell her everything gonna be alright. The pastor come over again. He starting to get on my nerves, you ask me. Him and Jasmine talk in that Spanish, and I know she telling him what happened to my brother. He pat me on the back and say in a thick accent, “You brother, he okay.”
I try to smile a little.
Then the lady from the restaurant, Jasmine boss, come over to me with a plate. She made all them same things she had last week, and some kinda sandwich too. “Eat,” she say. “Very good.”
I can tell she don’t hardly know no English neither. She seem like a real nice lady though, always helping feed people that don’t got nothing. “Gracias,” I say.
While Jasmine go back to help the lady clean up, I sit there and try to eat some of the eggs. But it’s hard ‘cause I feel sick to my stomach ‘bout Troy. I’m thinking ‘bout everything, like where Troy at right now, what he doing, what he feeling. I hope they find him a good foster home with somebody that’s gonna treat him nice, and I hope he ain’t gonna hafta go to a different school, not now when they was just ‘bout to put him in some of them regular classes.
But no matter where Troy at, I’ma find him and see him. Ain’t nothing or nobody gonna stop me. ‘Cause I know the second he get the chance he gonna call my cell, and when he do I’ma let him know that I still love him. And I’ma tell him that, even if we ain’t together everyday, we still brothers, and no ACS is gonna change that.
Jasmine come back over to the table when she through cleaning up. “What’s the matter, Papi? You not hungry?”
“Nah,” I say. “What kinda sandwich is that anyway?”
“You never had a Cuban sandwich? It got roasted pork, ham, and cheese, and it’s so good. You want me to wrap it up for you to take back?”
“Nah. And I ain’t going back there.” I tell Jasmine ‘bout the fight me and my moms had and how she wanted me to take the blame for her in court. “I can’t take it no more, Jasmine. My moms need to grow up, and she need to do that by herself.” Then I think of her and Dante, and that make me even sicker. “She gonna hafta work out her own problems while I work out mines.”
“C’mon, Ty. Eat a little bit,” Jasmine say, like she talking to a child or something. “You need to stay healthy.”
“A’ight.” It’s nice, her trying to take care of me instead of the other way ‘round. “I’ma eat.”
“Good. I’ll be right back. I wanna use the pay phone.” She kiss me on the cheek before she go.
I sit there and take a couple bites outta the sandwich, trying not to think of nothing. Not my moms, not Novisha, not Troy. Not nobody. Then my cell ring.
I flip it open and all I hear is, “I got me a son, yo!” It’s Cal. “He just got here, like twenty minutes ago. He twenty minutes old.”
“A son. Congrats, man.”
“Ty, the whole thing, the birth, that shit ain’t no joke. I don’t know how them girls be doing it. Man, it’s crazy.”
I start laughing.
“But you gotta come to the hospital and see him. He all wrinkled and shit. I hope he grow up and look like me though.”
“What you gonna name him?”
“Calvin, man, what you think?”
“Little Cal?” I ask.
“Nah. C. J. Cal Junior. You like that?”
“Yeah, that’s cool. You get my message?”
“Yeah, but I ain’t worried ‘bout them dudes. Andre and Greg is gonna handle them.” He putting on his act again, like ain’t nothing can touch him. “How the party go after I left?” he ask. “You make money?”
“Yeah,” I say. Then I tell him ‘bout everything else that happened at the party and what happened when I got back to Bennett.
“That’s fucked up, man,” he say. “But Little Man gonna be a’ight. He a smart kid.”
“Yeah, I know. Look, y’all got a extra bed or something over there?”
“Extra bed? Man, I still got the bunk bed.” Cal start laughing. “Remember from back in the day?”
“Damn, man.” The bunk bed. When I used to spend the night over there, when we was in fourth and fifth grade, me and Cal used to do some stupid shit, like jumping and flipping from the top bunk, trying to be Power Rangers or something. Most of the time we just busted our ass, but we had fun though.
“Why?” Cal ask. “You gonna come stay with us?”
“Yeah,” I say. Jasmine come back over to the table and sit down. “But I ain’t sleeping on the top bunk no more, man.” Cal and I both start laughing ‘cause he was forever making me sleep up there. I look at Jasmine, and she got that sad look in her eyes again. “And Cal, I’ma have somebody with me, a’ight?”
Jasmine look up and smile at me.
“Cool,” Cal say. “Greg over there now. I’m gonna call him and let him know you coming.”
“A’ight.”
When I hang up from Cal, Jasmine ask me, “Where are we going?”
“Over to Cal apartment. C’mon.”
Outside on the street, Jasmine tell me she gotta go back to Bennett to get her clothes and schoolbooks. I throw the garbage bag over my back like I’m fuckin’ Santa Claus, and me and her hold hands as we walk.
A block later, my cell ring. I let go of Jasmine and reach in my pocket, but when I see who calling, I just put it right back.
“Novisha?” Jasmine ask.
“Yeah. But I’m too tired to deal with her today.” I grab ahold of Jasmine hand again.
“You still love her?”
“Course. I got mad love for her, but I gotta trust the girl I’m with. How I’m s’posed to trust her now?”
“You lucky you got somebody who loves you.”
“I know.”
“And you love her. Why don’t you just start again with her? Try again.”
“I wish it was that easy. I mean, my whole life was built ‘round hers. I had everything all figured out, know what I mean? I thought she was—” I’m trying to find the right word to describe what I thought I had with Novisha.
“Perfect?”
Damn.
“Nobody’s perfect, Ty. Not even you.”
“A’ight,” I say. “You got it. You right.” But I ain’t really think Novisha was perfect. I just thought she was perfect for me.
We cross the street and start walking down Barretto Street. “What you gonna do ‘bout Emiliano?”
“I just called Reyna and told her I’m gonna move back in with him.”
“She gonna let you?”
“I didn’t tell her that Emil has feelings for me or nothing like that.”
“What you tell her then?”
“That he still loves her.”
I stop walking ‘cause I wanna say something to her serious. I drop the garbage bag on the sidewalk, then turn to her. “You know, you don’t hafta do nothing with him. Not if you don’t wanna. Don’t let him put no pressure on you.”
“I’m not. Don’t worry.”
But I am worried ‘bout her. And I don’t even wanna say what I think ‘bout a guy that would put a girl like Jasmine in a position like this. I mean, why she hafta go through all this just to get somebody to take care of her?
“This week was a test for me, Ty,” she say. “Sleeping with you every night and not doing nothing. Now I know I can hold out with a guy ‘til I’m ready. Even with Emiliano.”
“Great,” I say, and start laughing. “You tortured me every night, teasing me and everything, but I’m glad you got something outta it.”
Jasmine laugh and wrap her arms ‘round my waist. “I wasn’t teasing you,” she say, giggling in my ear. “I was teaching you how to be patient.”
Man, she so sexy it ain’t even real. I kiss her. “Patient for what?”
“For me,” she say. We kiss again, and I wanna keep on kissing, but she stop me before I can hardly get my mouth open. “C’mo
n.” She grab my hand again. I pick up the garbage bag and let her pull me down the street.
When we get to Hunts Point Avenue, I tell her I’ma wait for her on the corner ‘cause, straight up, I’m through with Bennett. I don’t even wanna see that place no more. While I’m standing there, I see some dudes playing basketball at the hoop I brung Troy to the other day and, man, it hurt that Troy ain’t with me no more.
But at the same time, I do kinda feel free. I mean, I know I ain’t s’posed to feel this way, but it’s like what Jasmine was saying before, that her sister deserve her freedom. And I need that too. I need time where I don’t gotta worry ‘bout nobody but myself. I mean, it ain’t my job to be no father at fifteen. I ain’t Cal.
When Jasmine get back with all her duffel bags and shit, I decide to catch a cab uptown. I got money now. The second we in the cab, I throw my arms ‘round her and start tonguing her. Deep. And she into it too. The cab driver probably watching us in the rearview mirror ‘cause a couple times, the cab swerve and he go, “Sorry.”
After the third time he try to kill us, we stop kissing so he can pay attention to what he doing. Me and Jasmine rest our heads together and both of us practically fall ‘sleep. I’m dead tired. “Do we have to sleep on the top bunk?” Jasmine ask, half ‘sleep.
“Yeah.”
“Does Cal have to be there?”
“He ain’t there now. Only his brother, but he gonna be in the living room playing video games. That’s all he ever do. You wanna sleep right now?”
“Okay,” she say. “Then when we get up, I wanna go out somewhere and have fun. This is gonna be my last night of freedom.”
This gonna be my first night of freedom, far as I’m concerned. “I’ma take you wherever you wanna go. Your decision.”
Jasmine smile.
“And don’t think that after you move in with that guy, that me and you ain’t gonna see each other no more,” I tell her. “We gonna always be friends, no matter what. I ain’t ‘bout to let no Emiliano keep you away from me.”
“Well, I’m gonna see you everyday at school, right?” She ask the question like she already know the answer, so there ain’t no reason for me to say nothing. “How long are you gonna stay with Cal?” she ask me.
“I don’t know. A couple months, pro’ly. Or ‘til my pops get out.”
The cab driver pull into Bronxwood and ask me what building I’m going to. “Building A,” I say, pointing to the first building on the right.
He pull up in front, and I take the roll of bills out my pocket and pay the man. Before I can open the door, Jasmine stop me. “Promise me you not gonna start working for Cal and his brothers.” She look all worried ‘bout me all of a sudden. “Promise me.”
“Nah, I ain’t working for them.” I start smiling, thinking ‘bout the party. Yeah, there was some wild shit that happened, but it was all good. My next one gonna be even better. “I’m a DJ,” I tell her. “C’mon, you seen me up there working them turntables. Girl, I got mad skills!”
Jasmine shake her head and start to laugh. Then I open the door and we get outta the cab. I stand out there for a couple seconds looking ‘round at them eight buildings and, man, I gotta say, it feel good coming back home to the projects. Where I belong.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to thank my family: Mom, Lisa, Rashid, Mike, Haadiya, Micayla, Alyssa, Hamza, and Hasan for always supporting me and believing in me; Samantha for reading and re-reading everything I’ve ever written and encouraging me to keep writing anyway; Denise, Tammy, Karen, Mark, Faith, and Sheiba for inspiring me and pushing me to finish this novel; Sarah Weeks for helping me nourish this idea; the writing group at The New School: Caroline, Chris, Emmy, Jenny, Kathryne, Krissi, Lisa, Lisa GW, Melinda, and Randi for being so enthusiastic from the very beginning; my NAACP ACT-SO students for giving me more than I gave them; DJ Pete La Rock for his expertise in everything old-skool; and, of course, David Levithan for giving me the freedom to tell this story my way and for being the best editor I could have asked for.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Coe Booth started writing “novels” in second grade, then digressed, working with teens and families in crisis in the Bronx and as a writing consultant for the New York City Housing Department. After receiving an MFA in creative writing from The New School, she finished Tyrell. She was born in the Bronx, and she still lives there.
For more, check out www.coebooth.com and www.thisispush.com.
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EDITED BY DAVID LEVITHAN
You Are Here, This Is Now
EDITED BY DAVID LEVITHAN
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Copyright © 2006 by Coe Booth.
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E-ISBN: 978-0-545-23215-9
Jacket photos:
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Jacket design by Steve Scott