“I received a letter from my mother. Monroe offered his room so I could read it in private.”
“Oh. I hope the letter was okay?” She frowned. “I mean as okay as could be expected?”
“It was fine.”
Looking concerned, she got to her feet. “What did she want? Or do you not want to say? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Walking to the kitchen, she tore the envelope into shreds and tossed it in the trash. “My mother didn’t want anything, only to tell me some news about home.”
“Oh? Did something happen?”
“Nee. Everything there is exactly the same.” She shrugged. “It turns out that I’m not missing much of anything being here.”
Esther grinned. “That’s good because I’ve got some news for you.”
“I could use some good news. What is it?”
“I bought us some turkey and ham! Swiss cheese, too. Make yourself a sandwich and sit with me for a couple of minutes.”
Sadie laughed. “Hold your horses. I’ll be right there. And thanks for buying the lunch meat. I’m starving,” she said as she quickly made herself a sandwich.
“Eat up, cousin,” Esther urged as she sat down with her plate. After all, you’re eating for two.”
Sadie proceeded to do just that, and without the slightest bit of doubt or regret.
She had already changed.
Now she was going to do everything she could to survive on her own terms. Going back home was no longer an option.
Chapter 16
Thursday, July 19
Noah had long decided that his mother could debate the pros and cons of rosebushes for hours. She loved them, loved to nurture them and give them special food—and was constantly asking people for advice on how to make hers look even more spectacular.
That was why they had been standing in the middle of Blooms and Berries for over an hour. Well, he was standing next to Mark Fisher; Mamm was kneeling next to Henry Lehmann and examining two rather pricey rosebushes the way he imagined some Englisher women might gaze at expensive diamonds.
It was kind of cute. Well, it would have been—if she wasn’t so determined to buy the best one, and wasn’t holding up his whole day.
“Mamm, you about ready?” he called out.
“Almost,” she said back. Which was the same thing she’d said twenty minutes before. Then, before he could point that out, she turned back to Mr. Lehmann and gestured to the roses on the left bush.
They looked the same to him. Noah was ready to buy them both.
“Does this happen much?” he murmured to Mark.
Mark Fisher was Mr. Lehmann’s right-hand man, and for the most part managed the store. Noah had always liked him, though they didn’t have much occasion to talk to each other. Mark lived in Horse Cave, which was a good buggy ride away from his house. Then, too, Mark was married now, so he had even less time for single men.
“Have a customer sidle up to Henry and make him feel like he was the best authority on plants in the whole state?”
“Yeah.”
Mark grinned. “Not as much as you are thinking . . . or as he might wish.”
Realizing that his mother’s indecision was making Mr. Lehmann’s day, Noah forced himself to relax. “Danke. I needed a reminder about what was important.”
Mark shook his head. “No need for thanks.” He was leaning against one of the back walls and watching Henry and Noah’s mother with a smile on his face. “I’m not going to lie. There have been times when Henry gets so carried away that his enthusiasm can try the patience of a saint.”
“That might be true of all of us.”
Mark laughed out loud. “Amen to that.”
Glancing at his friend again, he said, “How are you feeling? I heard about your surgery.” Mark had been diagnosed with a form of kidney cancer and had to have one of his kidneys removed.
Mark smiled. “Almost as good as new. The doctors are having me visit them every three months; but if the cancer stays away for a whole year, they say I won’t even have to get chemotherapy.”
“That’s terrific!”
“Jah. The best.” Gesturing toward Noah’s mother, he said, “After everything we’ve been through, I’ve got a new appreciation for the simple things that make us happy. That’s why I don’t want you to worry about your mamm. There aren’t a great many people who are as passionate about flowers as your mother. It’s sweet, and makes Henry feel important.”
Looking at his mother’s eyes shine, he had to agree. “She’s having a good time.”
“And you’re a gut man. Not every son would take his mother here and then wait for her so patiently.”
Noah was about to shrug off the compliment, then decided to be a little more honest. “I’ve been working a lot of overtime lately. Mei daed reminded me that I’ve been neglecting some more important things. I’m trying to make up for it.” Hearing his confession out loud, he said, “I don’t know if a trip to the nursery makes up for it or not.”
“How is your work going? Do you like riding in that ambulance?”
“Jah. I like everything about it. But now that I have three days off, I can’t deny I like standing around here as if it’s the only thing I have to do today.”
“Rest is gut.”
“It is.” He paused, wavering between being quiet and sharing his worries. Finally, he decided, maybe God had brought them to Blooms and Berries so his mother could help Henry, but also so he could have a man like Mark Fisher to talk to. “To be honest, things at work have been kind of tough lately.”
“Riding around the county, helping people who are sick or hurt . . . you must see a lot of disturbing things.”
“We do. But though this might sound bad, I’m usually not disturbed by that.”
“No?”
“Not at all. I mean, we see people sick. And we have pulled up to some motor vehicle accidents that are terrible. My bosses start shouting orders to me, and I’m concentrating so hard that I’m sweating in the middle of the winter. But it makes me feel good.”
“Because you are helping them.”
“Jah. Exactly because of that. Instead of feeling disturbed, I feel almost like the Lord put me there for a reason. And like I’m doing a job that means something.”
“A job to be proud of,” Mark murmured.
Noah nodded, glad Mark understood his fumbling explanation. “Exactly.”
“What changed? Has something different happened, then?”
After making sure his mother was still happily occupied, Noah answered. “Yeah. We’ve had a couple of deaths lately.”
Mark frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure it has been difficult.”
“The other EMTs say I’ll get used to it. I don’t know if I want that to happen or not.”
Mark stewed on that for a moment. Then he looked at Noah closely. “This might just be me, but I ain’t sure that I would want to get used to death.”
Reminded again of Mark’s recent battle, Noah stilled. “You know what? You’re right.”
“Maybe you should be concentrating on each day. Do you like the job?”
“I do,” he replied after a pause. “Even when I have a bad day, I wouldn’t want to do anything else.”
“There’s your answer, then.”
“I guess so.” Glancing at Mark again, he noticed that he seemed beyond content. “Do you feel that way about working here?”
“At Blooms and Berries? Well, I don’t know about that. I like working with Henry, and with my wife, Waneta, from time to time.”
“I heard you met Waneta here.”
“We met years ago in school, but we fell in love while working here.” Before he hardly took a breath, he fired off his question. “Are you courting anyone?”
“Me? Nee.”
“Why not? You’re, what, twenty-five?”
“Twenty-six.”
“What’s wrong, then? You haven’t found the right woman yet?”
<
br /> Because Noah was fairly sure that he actually had, and also fairly sure that she was the absolute last person he should be interested in, he coughed. Though a dull ache throbbed in his insides, he tried to brush it off. “I’m too busy.”
“Ah.”
Mark Fisher must have been a genius because, with just that one word, he conveyed everything both he and Noah were feeling. The fact was, he wanted to court Sadie.
Noah was about to see what he could do to move his mother along when the door chimed and in came Sadie herself . . . and her cousins, Esther and Monroe.
Mark went right up to them. “Y’all be needing any help?”
“Danke, but not yet,” Monroe said.
Mark linked his fingers behind his back. “Fair enough. Well, let me know when you are ready and I’ll help if I’m able.”
“Will do,” Monroe replied.
Esther had already wandered down the aisle, but Sadie stayed where she was. Practically waiting for Noah to make his move.
Unable to help himself, he stepped forward. “Hey,” he said—rather stupidly.
Sadie met his gaze, and smiled hesitantly.
And what a smile that was. Sweet and genuine. Feeling like maybe he hadn’t been making a mistake after all, he smiled right back.
But then, just as he was about to approach her, Monroe looked at him, scowled, and gestured for her to join his sister down the aisle and over on the other side of the store.
Noah felt as if he’d just been given the cold shoulder, which was ridiculous. After all, what had even happened? They’d smiled. That was it.
He had to get out of there.
Turning to Mark, he said, “You know what? I’m going to go see if I can give Henry a hand with my mother. If we’re not careful, she’s going to take up all his attention for the next hour and you’re going to have to deal with everyone else.”
“He won’t care. But what I want to know is what just happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on. With that girl.” He narrowed his eyes. “Who was she, anyway?”
“Her name is Sadie Detweiler. She’s a recent transplant from Ohio.” Because he was sure Mark was going to ask it, too, he added, “She is with her cousins, Monroe and Esther Stauffer.”
“He was acting like he was guarding her from you.”
“He might have been.”
“Because?”
“No real reason. I mean, nothing beyond the fact that I don’t think the Stauffers particularly like me.” And he’d badgered her with questions when he picked her up in a courting buggy.
“Why is that?” Before Noah could answer, he said, “Wait a minute, one of their relatives recently passed away, didn’t she? Were you called out there?”
“Jah.” He wouldn’t have advertised the fact that he’d been with Verba right before she died, but he wasn’t going to lie about it, either.
“I’m guessing you know about my past? How I was once falsely accused of assaulting a woman?”
“I do.”
“Well, if it helps, I’ve learned that some people can’t get past it. They won’t ever be able to get past the mistaken identity. But if that’s the case, it’s their problem not mine.”
“I agree,” Noah said quietly. “There’s nothing I can do about the past anyway.”
When they both spied Sadie glance at Noah, blush, then hurriedly dart down another aisle, Mark nudged him with his shoulder. “Maybe every person in the household doesn’t dislike you.”
“Maybe . . . maybe not. I’m not sure anymore.”
“She’s sure a pretty thing.”
“She is. Sweet, too.”
“You like her?”
Yes, he did. “I don’t know her all that well.”
“Okay. How about this. Do you want to know her better?”
He did. “Maybe,” he allowed.
Mark’s eyes gleamed.
Noah now felt even more foolish. He was a grown man, an EMT! He helped save lives for a living. He didn’t need this. What was he doing, getting dating advice in the middle of a garden store?
“Jah, I do.”
“Then go over there and say hello.”
It wasn’t that easy. Not at all. “I don’t mean to be rude, but you don’t understand.”
“Noah, if you knew what I went through to have my Waneta, you wouldn’t say that.” He nodded his head. “Go on, now. I’ll speak to your mother and help Henry get her settled. You make plans to go calling.”
“All right. Fine.”
Mark grinned and started walking over to Noah’s mamm.
This meant it was now or never.
Gathering his courage, he walked toward Sadie, who was standing next to a pair of ornamental watering cans. However, it was obvious that she wasn’t really seeing anything.
“Hi.”
“Hello, Noah.” With a bemused expression, she gestured around the store. “I never expected to find you here.”
He chuckled. “You’re right. Blooms and Berries isn’t my usual hangout. But I’m with my mother today. She loves to hang out here and talk plants with Henry.”
“And you?”
“I love to make her happy. So here I am.”
She smiled at him. “That’s mighty sweet of you.”
He shrugged. “Standing at a nursery ain’t a hardship.” Realizing that her cousins were returning, he hurried. “I came over here to talk to you about something.”
She leaned forward. “Yes?”
“I’d like to call on you tonight.”
“Call on me?”
Lord, but it seemed as if every single thing that was said had multiple meanings. “Yes. May I?”
Warily, she glanced at Monroe. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
That wasn’t the same thing as her saying that she didn’t want anything to do with him. “Sadie, I promise I won’t pester you with questions this time.”
“Oh? Then what will we talk about?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the weather,” he said with a smile. “Maybe our families. Maybe I’ll tell you embarrassing stories about myself to make you laugh.”
“That does sound intriguing.”
“Then say yes. Please?”
She glanced at Monroe again. “Well . . .”
“Come on, Sadie. I’m trying to do this the right way. I’m asking for permission. I’m even asking in front of your cousins.” When she continued to hesitate, he added, “Look, if you don’t have any interest in me, then I’ll leave you alone. But if you do, then I hope you will allow me to stop by. We could sit out by your barn.”
Longing filled her eyes. “Noah, this ain’t the time or the place, but I have a real good reason for thinking that we wouldn’t suit.”
He was pretty sure that he knew what that reason was. She was sweet and shy. Innocent and careful. “I don’t need to know your reasons. I like the way you are.”
But instead of looking relieved, his words seemed to only make her more nervous. Glancing at her cousins, she clenched her hands by her sides. “I’m sorry, but I must say no.”
She was refusing him. “Because you don’t like me.”
“It’s not that. It’s—”
“It’s because she’s pregnant, Noah,” Monroe said. His voice was quiet and not unkind.
“What?”
“You heard right. She’s going to have a baby.”
Monroe might as well have thrown a couple of sharp knives Noah’s way. The news hurt that bad.
Suddenly, well aware that they were having this conversation, this very private conversation, in the middle of Blooms and Berries Nursery, Noah attempted to compose himself. He doubted he succeeded. Actually, his voice was hoarse when he turned to Sadie. “You’re pregnant?”
Looking miserable, she nodded.
How? When? Who?
A dozen questions ran through his head. Some of which were rather obvious, others which were absolutely none of his business. And because he co
uldn’t think of anything worthwhile to say, he ended up standing there like a fool. Gaping. Trying to come to grips that the girl, the woman he’d been so taken with, was absolutely nothing like he’d thought.
How could he have been so wrong about so much?
As the silence pulled taut between them, Monroe put his arm around Sadie’s shoulders. “Let’s go home,” he murmured as he ushered her out of the store.
Head tucked, she walked out the door by his side. Esther followed, but not before glaring at Noah. Just like he was the one who had done something wrong.
He stared at the door after it closed, rethinking all that had just happened.
“Are you ready, Noah?” Mamm called out. “Come help me carry everything out.”
Feeling like a robot, he automatically walked to the counter, picked up the cardboard box, and hefted it into his arms. “I’ll carry this out to the buggy.”
Noah turned away before his mother responded.
His ears were ringing, his brain felt thick, and he wasn’t sure about anything anymore.
Chapter 17
July 19
Esther held Sadie’s hand in the buggy the whole way home. Monroe, who was driving and sitting on Esther’s left, didn’t say anything, but Sadie could tell that he was just as upset by what had taken place.
What she didn’t know was why he’d decided to reveal her news to Noah in the middle of the nursery.
“Are you all right?” Esther asked for what had to be the third or fourth time. “I tell you, I thought you were going to pass out in there. I’m so glad you didn’t. We have to keep you safe and sound for your baby,” she said, her words coming out in a tremendous rush, each one practically tumbling over the next.
Sadie had kept her silence until her cousins’ home was in sight. But when it was obvious that Esther was about to blather on about nothing again, all to fill the strained silence, she spoke. “I’m fine.”
Monroe jerked his head her way and spoke for the first time since he’d gathered them into the buggy. “Are you sure about that?”
What could she say? It wasn’t like she knew what to expect during a pregnancy or had anyone to talk to about it. So far, all she’d been focused on was having a place to live.
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