by Chelle Bliss
“I fucking hate her,” Kayden said as we watched her walk out.
“She almost killed you, and she only gets ten years? It’s unbelievable,” I said, standing up.
Kayden wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in his heat. “We’re free of her for a long time, baby doll. We’ll do everything we can to keep her behind bars. Don’t worry, Sophia.”
I nuzzled his neck, closed my eyes, and inhaled his smell, the scent of home. Kayden had become that to me, made me feel all things were possible, and as a team, we could overcome any obstacle. His lips brushed against my temple with a whisper-light kiss that calmed my stomach and made me believe everything would be okay.
“Let’s go home. You’re looking a little pale, sweetheart. Are you okay?” he said.
I looked up into his big green eyes and smiled. There was no place in the world I’d rather be at that moment than home, wrapped in his arms, the rest of the world shut out. “I haven’t felt myself lately. It’s just the stress of the trial. I’ll be okay now that it’s over.”
I stared at the calendar on my desk and tapped my pen against the paper. It had been seven weeks since I’d had my period, and I hadn’t even noticed. The craziness of the trial and the stress of seeing Lisa again made it slip my mind entirely. I dropped my pen on my desk and leaned back in my chair before exhaling and closing my eyes. Could I be pregnant, or was something else wrong? I rubbed the bridge of my nose and tried to come to terms with either possibility. I’d given up on any chance of a child long ago, and I thought age had stolen that dream.
I couldn’t wait to find out. I needed to know for my sanity and self-preservation. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. Instead of going to the local bagel shop for lunch, I made a stop at the nearest pharmacy to grab a pregnancy test.
My fingers felt sweaty against the faux leather steering wheel. My heart pounded feverishly in my chest, and I could hear my blood flowing through my ears. Every thought I had was filled with images of a baby and Kayden…a little bundle of joy with green eyes and chubby limbs. My vision blurred from tears as I pulled into the parking lot to find out the cold hard truth. I sat a moment, steadying my breath and wiping my eyes.
My legs felt unsteady as I walked down the aisle. I wanted to be pregnant more than anything in the world right now. I thought I had made peace with being childless, but it always hurt deep down. Every new person I met would ask me if I had children, and my answer was always the same. No, life had other plans for me. Every time I gave that answer, my heart felt like a tiny needle pierced it. It had been turned into a pincushion over the years.
I paid for the test that claimed to be the most accurate and easy to read. “Is there a bathroom here?” I asked the cashier. I couldn’t wait to get back to work to find out. I walked to the back of the store with the test in my purse, holding it tightly against my body as if it were precious cargo. I tore open the box as soon as I walked through the door and discarded the box, minus the stick. I followed the directions, placed the cap back on, and put it in my purse for safe keeping.
I sat in my car, staring at the stick for a few minutes before. I placed it on the passenger seat and texted Kayden.
Me: Hey, baby, how’s work?
Kayden: Good love, whatcha doin’?
I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to get excited or start planning in his mind if the test was negative. Kayden wanted a family and always felt it was a possibility.
Me: Having lunch. Are you going to be late today?
Kayden: Nah, I’ll be home around five.
I wanted to tell him, wanted him to comfort me, but I thought it would be unfair to him. This was something so very personal for me. Men could have children for their entire life, but at some point, a woman lost that ability forever.
I held my breath as I reached over and gripped the pregnancy stick in my hand, scared to see the result. I slowly opened my fingers one at a time, dragging out my torture and any chance of bad news. My eyes grew wide as the blue plus sign filled the test strip window. My heart stopped as the realization of what I was staring at hit me. I was pregnant…we were pregnant. Large teardrops streamed down my cheeks, plopping onto my dress pants. A sob ripped through me, and I allowed the sound to fill the interior of my car. I didn’t know until that moment how much I wanted a child, this child.
Kayden walked through the door shortly after five. I had cleaned the entire apartment waiting for him to arrive. I couldn’t sit still and wanted to tell him, but I wanted it to be in person. “Hey, baby,” I said, walking toward him as he kicked off his shoes.
“Hi, love.” He kissed me on the lips and wrapped his arms around me. “Are you okay, love? You’re sweating”
“I’m fine. I’ve just been cleaning,” I said. “Come sit down for a minute.”
“What’s wrong? Is something wrong with you?” He sat down as I faced him on the couch. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it before I spoke. “You’re scaring me, Sophia.”
“Oh, sweetheart, don’t be scared,” I said. “I’m pregnant.” A grin crept across my face as I watched his reaction.
His beautiful eyes grew wide. “Really?” he asked. I nodded my head yes, and his eyes glistened with newly formed tears. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it.” He reached out and placed his hand on my belly. “We’re going to have a baby.”
“I still need to make a doctor’s appointment, but I’m late, and the pregnancy test I took today said I am.” I placed my hand on his and leaned forward, kissing his lips.
Kayden wrapped me in his arms, smothering me with kisses. His lips broke from mine as he held my face between his hands. “A baby. You’re giving me a baby. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world. I love you, Sophia.”
“I love you too, Kayden. You’ve given me the greatest gift in the world,” I said, staring into his eyes. Kayden still had the ability to steal my breath like he did the first time he kissed me. Navy blue had been wiped out and replaced by a rainbow of colors. Kayden had filled my world with the color I’d lacked, and now a piece of us would be entwined forever in the form of a child.
THE END
GET A RELEASE ALERT OR PREORDER FOR KAYDEN THE PAST - COMING IN JULY
Dear Readers,
Thank you for reading Untanlge Me. There’s two choices to go from here: Kayden the Past to read about the insanity that was Kayden before he met Sophia or Throttle Me to find out what happens to Suzy and the beast of a man she hooks up with.
Untangle Me holds a special place in my heart. It’s the first full-length book I’d ever written and although my writing has changed over time, I still love Kayden and Sophia’s bumpy journey to finding love.
Sincerely, Chelle Bliss xoxo
Want to know when Kayden releases? Join my newsletter at chellebliss.com/newsletter to get the latest updates.
KAYDEN SNEAK PEEK
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COMING IN JULY
I’m an addict.
Sophia didn’t know this about me when we met—when I stole her heart.
I struggle every day with my sobriety, and Sophia is my compass. She’s what keeps me grounded and always points me in the right direction. She doesn’t nag or yell but smothers me in her love and understanding.
Sophia asked to hear my story, my past. She wanted to know everything about me…what led me to her. I gave her a condensed version—one that is closer to PG-13 than the NC-17 reality that I lived. No matter how much the person you love the most, the one who is the center of your universe, asks about your past, you never give the full truth. I never want Sophia to compare herself to any of the women or experiences I’ve had before her. Sophia is perfection in my eyes. No one could ever compare to her.
I’d like to say my life began again when I met Sophia, that I was given a clean slate. Sophia met me at the point in my life where I had given up on love. My life consisted of work and pleasure—pleasure from the unattached sexual relationships and the booze that had fill
ed my nights.
When my life spiraled out of control, Sophia caught me in her web of security and love. She is my savior, the only thing that is true in my life. She can’t know my entire story. Who would want to know the true story of the love of their life, the father of their child?
The thought of Sophia being with another man makes my skin crawl and pisses me off. She’s mine, and I like to think that I’ve been the only man in her life and the first one to taste her, but I know I’m lying to myself. Ignorance is bliss, and I’d rather stay in the dark.
After our child was born, I thought it was necessary to get help to control my drinking. I needed to make sure I never walked down the path of self-destruction again. I had too much to lose. For the first time in my life, there was something more important than myself or even Sophia. There was a tiny little life that depended on me and needed my love and adoration.
I didn’t want to go to group counseling—I’ve done that before, and it sucked. It wasn’t more than a temporary fix. I needed something to get to the root of my addiction and allow me to find other ways to cope with the pressures in life besides the bottom of a bottle. The counselor told me to write down the major events in my life—the ones that caused my drinking to go out of control or drove me to drink. He said I needed to understand the cycle. What came first—the booze or the problems? He asked me to write a journal about my life. Everyone who I could remember that triggered my drinking or use of drugs and events which were caused by my addiction that had an impact on my life. I didn’t see the use in writing it for someone else to read and analyze, but he said I would understand it in time.
Where do I start the tangled mess that was my life? Do I start with my first taste of booze, the first sniff of coke, or the crazy bitches I’ve experienced? There will be bits that I leave out, things I don’t want the world to know. I’ve included the ones that show what has molded me into the man I am today. The ones that will fill in the gaps of my troubled journey. The ones that illustrate the magnitude of what Sophia and I overcame and show the depths of my depravity and addiction before Sophia walked into my life and turned my world upside down.
I’ll start at the beginning, what led me off the path of righteousness and continue through my moment of self-destruction and finally my salvation in the arms of a loving woman too good to be mine.
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COMING IN JULY
THROTTLE ME SNEAK PEEK
Suzy & City’s Story
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The moonlight filtered through the pine trees lining the fields, leaving shadows on the pavement. The crisp air that had been missing for months caressed my skin. Cranking up the radio, I sang along to Justin Timberlake’s “Rock Your Body.” It was just the cool breeze, JT, and me. I couldn’t wait to crawl in my bed and close my eyes, getting lost in a dream world that had nothing to do with my current reality.
The night had been perfect. I’d had dinner and drinks with my best friend, Sophia, and although I was exhausted from a long workday, I felt a sense of serenity. Spending time with Sophia always made me happy. She was like a sister to me, especially when she had lived with me for over a year. I felt like part of me had been missing since the day she moved out, leaving me behind.
Dancing in the seat, screaming out the lyrics, I thought about how I wanted someone that would do everything the song described. No one had ever made me feel the way that JT sang about women. The steering wheel shook in my hands and a screeching sound pulled me out of my JT trance.
“Damn it,” I said, hitting the steering wheel with my palm.
The orange flash from my hazards blinked against the dark pavement as I pulled off the road and my car sputtered to a stop. Bad luck seemed to follow me. I squeezed the steering wheel, trying to calm my frazzled nerves. I knew the day would come, the day my car would die, but I prayed it would happen after my next paycheck…no such luck.
Resting my head on the wheel, I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “Great, just fucking great.” I rocked back and forth, feeling sorry for myself, hitting my head on the cool plastic. I thought about whom to call or where to walk. I hadn’t passed a gas station or even a damn streetlight in miles. Without picking up my head, I reached for my phone, bringing it to my eyes.
“Shit.” The screen wouldn’t power on after I hit every button I could think to press. It was useless. It was dead and now I was totally stranded. What else could possibly go wrong? Sighing, I sat up and glanced in the rearview mirror, but only the shadows from the trees filled my view. No cars, neon signs, or streetlights. Fuck.
I placed my hand on my chest to feel the beat of my heart, which was so hard I swear it was audible. Visions from slasher movies flooded my mind. Girl deserted on the side of the road until she’s found by a handsome stranger that ends up being a serial killer.
Should I start walking to God knows where? Do I just sit there and wait for a stranger to offer me help? I never liked feeling helpless—I was too smart to be helpless, but it was the only thing I felt in this moment. It could be hours before someone found me in my car.
I grabbed my purse, dead phone, and keys, and climbed out of the car. My feet ached in the extra-high heels I wore. Leaning against the car, I gave my feet a moment to adjust, as I looked in both directions. Neither of my options were good and I was exhausted. My feet fucking screamed from standing still. Thank God I could sleep in tomorrow after the way this evening was ending. There was a gas station a couple miles back—better to go with what I knew than to walk into an uncertain future. I tapped the lock button on my key chain one more time, helping relieve my OCD need to double-check everything, before I started walking away.
Barely clearing the trunk, a single light came over a small hill in the distance, hurting my eyes with the brightness. The roar of the engine grew louder as the distance closed. I waved my arms as a figure came into view, but the asshole biker drove right passed me as I screamed, “Hey! Hey!” The wind from his bike caused the dust on the road to kick up and fill my mouth.
I turned around, coughing, and screamed toward the bike. I knew it was pointless. There was no way in hell he’d heard me yelling above the roar of his bike, but he had to see me. The red taillight lit up the road as he turned the bike in my direction. I swallowed hard, unsure if this was my best idea of the night—but I’d already made too many mistakes to dwell on that. He was my only hope of getting home.
I stood there like a deer in headlights, unable to move, as I gaped at him. My hands trembled as the figure on the bike came to a stop. The engine was almost deafening, as I took in the sight of him on the machine. The bike was a Harley, a Fat Boy, with no windshield, chrome handlebars, and a dark body. He wore black boots, dark jeans, and a dark t-shirt. He was large and muscular, and I sucked in a breath as my eyes reached his handsome and rugged face. A playful grin danced on his lips as he watched me ogle him. Fucking hell.
“Need some help, lady?” he asked, removing his helmet, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. The dark peaks stood up on the top, the sides were short and clipped, and the color matched the sky—dark. I couldn’t see his eyes; a pair of tinted glasses hid them. Could serial killers be so sexy?
“Um, do you have a cell phone I could use to call for a ride?” I asked without taking a step in his direction. Don’t get too close—leave room to run. Who the fuck was I kidding? I couldn’t make it five feet in these damn shoes.
“Sure.” As he leaned back on his bike, I studied his body as he dug in his pocket. The skintight jeans showed his muscles through the denim fabric. Everything clung to him. I wanted to poke him to see if he felt as hard as he looked. What the fuck was wrong with me?
I was too busy staring to notice what he was holding out for me. “Lady, you wanted my phone?”
Snapping back to reality with the sound of his deep voice, I took a step toward him, reaching for the phone. “Oh, sorry.”
My fingertips grazed his palm, and a ti
ny shock passed between us. His fingers closed on my hand as I pulled away. My heartbeat, which had calmed, now began to pound feverishly in my chest. It had to be my hormones. I hadn’t had sex in God knows how long—I stopped counting after three months. The man in front of me wasn’t my type, but his sex appeal wasn’t lost on me. He looked like a whole lot of trouble, and I didn’t need that in my life.
I stepped back, keeping my eyes trained on him, as I dialed the only person close enough to help—Sophia. The phone rang and his eyes traveled up and down the length of my body—with each ring, my stomach began to turn. I didn’t have anyone else to call.
Tapping the end button, I sighed. “There’s no answer. Thanks.” I gave him a sheepish smile as I handed him the phone.
“Let me take a look and see if there’s anything I can do. Okay?” he asked, as he began angling the bike to shine the headlights on the hood.
“Sure.” I hit the unlock button on my car key before climbing in. I put the key in the ignition, but stayed aware of his proximity. No one would hear me scream if he tried to kill me. I couldn’t let my guard down.
He put the kickstand down, climbed off the bike, and placed the helmet on the seat. Pulling the hood latch next to my seat, I watched him from the relative darkness of my car, my face hidden by shadows. He was large, larger than he looked sitting on the Harley. He had to be more than a foot taller than me, and looked more solid with the bike illuminating his body. I stared at him, mouth open slightly, my breathing shallow as I looked at him like a piece of meat through the gap between the hood. He oozed masculinity and ruggedness, and I tried to picture him without all the skintight clothes. The muscles in his arm rippled as he touched the parts under the hood.