Suddenly the full impact of what Jon and Alicia had told Emily appeared to hit her. She grinned and asked, “Can I call you Daddy?”
The question seemed to take Jon by surprise. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat before he said, “I’d like that very much.”
Alicia thought she saw his eyes glisten, and she realized how much Emily meant to him, how he’d wanted this moment since the day he’d appeared at her door. She was thankful for the happiness on Emily’s face, the satisfaction and love in Jon’s eyes. But the question Alicia had to ask herself was whether Jon had feelings for her as well as Emily. If she weren’t Emily’s mother, would he want her in his life?
Alicia teed up as Jon had showed her on the first four holes. She tried to remember everything he’d told her. Never having played golf before today, she still felt awkward. Rocking back and forth to feel her balance, she planted her feet. Bringing up the club, she followed through as best she could. But she hacked the ball. It rolled about three yards and stopped.
She looked at it and shook her head. “I don’t know, Jon. I don’t think this is my game. My form must be all wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your form,” Jon responded, looking her up and down with obvious appreciation. She’d chosen the turquoise flowered culottes and matching blouse with care and now was glad she had.
He’d convinced her to let Gertie baby-sit so she could take the afternoon off and go with him to pick up their airplane tickets for next week, to play a game of golf, then go to dinner and a movie with him later. She was looking forward to it, though she didn’t know what would happen after the movie, after they returned home and the baby-sitter left. Each time they kissed, she could feel Jon’s restraint. She didn’t know how much longer he’d pull away without wanting fulfillment. She didn’t know how much longer she’d deny them both. Yet could she make love with him without knowing how he felt about her?
“Can you tell me what I’m doing wrong?” she asked, trying to keep her mind on the game, rather than on Jon’s muscular legs, tan against his white shorts and the black wisps of hair at the neck of his yellow polo shirt.
He stepped behind her and put his hands on top of hers on the club. “Your grip is fine. You caught onto that quickly. What you need to remember is to keep the movement in your upper body.” He swung the club for her, his chest pressed against her back.
His thighs against her buttocks felt intimate and erotic. How was she supposed to keep her thoughts on her swing?
“Your body should turn toward your target.”
Her target right now was holding onto her sanity while he pressed against her. “Jon…” Her voice was a squeak. She tried again. “Jon, I think I’ve got it now.”
“I know I have,” he murmured into her ear. He straightened, turned her around and slid his hands under her hair, anchoring her head. His lips sought hers.
The kiss devoured her. Jon’s tongue mated with hers until she wanted the same union for their bodies. When he tore his lips away, she moaned in protest.
He tilted his forehead against hers. “I want to make love to you.”
She slipped her hands away from the back of his neck and braced them on his chest. “I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know—” Suddenly a sharp pain shot through Alicia’s arm and the fear that gripped her made her queasy. She knew something was terribly wrong…with Ria.
Jon lifted his head. “Ready for what? You want me, I want you. Nothing could be simpler.”
Shivering, she pushed away from him and wrapped her arms around herself. “We have to go back to the clubhouse.”
Jon let her go and stared at her, perplexed. “Why? Because I told you I want to make love to you?”
“No. I have to call Ria.”
“Ria’s skydiving.”
“No. She’s in trouble. Something happened. I can feel it.”
“Alicia…”
“Don’t try to analyze it, Jon. This happens between us. It’s not logical. It’s a bond. Something’s wrong and I have to get to her.”
He studied Alicia carefully for a moment. “All right. Let’s go. But if this is your way of evading a discussion you don’t want to have—”
“Jon!”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Let’s go and find out what this is all about.” He picked up the golf bag while she retrieved the club that had fallen to the grass when they’d kissed.
As they rode back to the clubhouse in the golf cart, she ran her fingers over the dull ache in her arm and prayed.
Chapter Eight
Jon kept his hand at the small of Alicia’s back as they hurried down the hospital corridor. The message at the clubhouse had made Alicia go pale, and when she’d followed its directive to call the hospital and her hands had begun trembling, he was afraid she’d faint. But as she’d told him before, she was not as delicate as she looked.
The nurse hadn’t told her much, just that Ria was in “satisfactory” condition and having tests run. When they arrived at the emergency room, Alicia was informed that the doctor had admitted Ria and she would be settled in room 543 after the tests. They could wait in the fifth floor lounge.
It seemed Alicia wasn’t any better at waiting than Jon was, at least not where her twin’s health was concerned. As she paced across the lounge, she peeked up the hall. “At least they could tell me what the tests are for. I’m her sister!”
“The doctor has to give you that information,” he soothed.
“Then where is he?” she asked, her voice rising.
Jon stood and crossed to her. Wrapping his arms around her, he held on tight. When she sank against him, he tightened his hold. Her heart was beating fast, and he knew it was from worry.
She raised her head, tears running down her cheek. “If anything happens to her…”
Jon hadn’t truly realized until now the bond between these two sisters. They were more than close. “She’ll be all right. They wouldn’t list her as satisfactory…”
“Mrs. Fallon?”
Jon kept his arm around Alicia’s waist as she turned toward the voice. A middle-aged doctor dressed in green scrubs came toward them.
“Yes, I’m Mrs. Fallon. How’s Ria?”
He rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Giving me a rough time. She wouldn’t take anything to relax her before we set her arm. The CT scan doesn’t show any brain injury but I want to keep her for observation overnight.”
“What happened?” Jon asked, giving Alicia time to absorb the information.
Hearing commotion in the hall, the doctor turned toward it. “I’m sure she’d rather tell you herself. Try to convince her to stay in bed so we don’t have to tie her down, okay?”
As the doctor left, Alicia mumbled something under her breath about some people not using the good sense God gave them and started toward room 543.
Jon bit back a chuckle and followed her. If Ria was giving the staff grief, she was on the mend already. Her recovery was bound to be a battle of wills.
Ria was settled into bed when they arrived at the room. Her blond hair was matted and pushed behind her ears. She looked pale and strained, but she smiled when Alicia approached the bed. “Hi, sis. Guess I did it, didn’t I?”
Alicia sat on the bed and held Ria for a long but careful hug. When she leaned back, some of the worry on her face had eased. “What did you do?”
Ria settled her cast on the bed beside her. “I’m not sure exactly. I don’t know if my attention wandered for a moment…or if I got caught up in the excitement. But I wasn’t ready for the landing. Isn’t that stupid?”
“No, it’s dangerous,” Alicia scolded, taking her sister’s hand. “What am I going to do with you?”
Ria shrugged and winced. “I don’t know. Lock me in my apartment, I guess.”
“As if you wouldn’t pick the lock,” Jon said with a smile.
Ria shook her finger at him. “You got my number way too fast, Jonathan Wescott.” Suddenly she closed her
eyes for a moment.
“What’s wrong?” Alicia asked, her expression anxious again.
“Just a headache. That’s why they’re keeping me here. Thank goodness for helmets or…”
Alicia whispered, “Don’t say it.”
Jon squeezed her shoulder, and she covered his hand with hers.
Ria noticed the gesture and smiled. “I guess you two will be off to L.A. soon.”
Alicia shifted on the bed. “We were supposed to go next week. But now, you can’t be alone. With a concussion…”
“Don’t be silly,” Ria protested. “I’m fine. I…” She closed her eyes again.
Alicia frowned. “Sure. You’re just fine. You need someone to take care of you.”
Ria muttered through pursed lips, “I do not.”
Jon intervened. “Why don’t we put off that discussion until later. Is there anything you need?”
She looked down at the hospital gown. “Yes, a decent nightgown and robe, toothbrush and toothpaste, maybe slippers. And could you feed Merlina and Lancelot and play with them a little? They’re going to miss me being around. And there are plants in the kitchen that need water.”
“Merlina and Lancelot?” Jon checked with Alicia.
Her reluctant smile was rueful. “They’re Ria’s cats. They’re declawed and stay indoors. I can stop at your apartment before I come in for visiting hours tonight.”
“You were supposed to go out to dinner,” Ria reminded.
Jon quickly said, “We can do that another time. Alicia won’t have a good time if she’s worrying about you.”
Ria disagreed. “But she has to eat. Take her someplace and force-feed her if you have to.”
Alicia remembered Ria’s words later that evening as they stopped at her sister’s apartment after a quick dinner. Jon didn’t have to force-feed her, but she’d barely picked at her food. He seemed to understand and had held her hand throughout most of the meal.
Using her key, Alicia let them inside the first-floor living space. A southwest theme prevailed with the turquoise and peach and earth tones on the fabric of the sofa and chair.
Two cats entered the living room from a hall that led to Ria’s bedroom. Alicia scooped up the fat yellow tabby. “How are you doing Lancelot?” She scratched behind his ear and he purred.
The other cat, a silver longhair wrapped around Jon’s legs. “And this is Merlina, I presume?”
Alicia laughed. “Ria had to use a doll bottle to feed her when she got her because she was so small. And she named the kitten Merlin because she thought it was a male. A few weeks later, she revised the name.”
Jon chuckled and headed for the kitchen. “Where’s the cat food?”
“Kitchen closet. Third shelf. Give them one of the small cans. I’ll pack Ria’s overnight bag.”
“And the watering can?” he called over his shoulder.
“Under the sink,” she called back with a smile.
Alicia had insisted Jon didn’t have to come along to the hospital again, but he’d said he wanted to. His support felt good. Right. Just like his arms and the taste of his kiss.
When she reentered the living room, she plopped the overnight case by the door. Jon was sitting on the sofa leafing through a magazine, Merlina curled up beside him.
He put the magazine in the rack where he’d found it. “Ready?”
“Mmm-hmm. Except…I want to tell you how sorry I am I can’t fly back to L.A. with you Thursday. I was looking forward to it.”
He patted Merlina’s head and stood. Lancelot jumped up beside the gray cat. “Yes, you can. I’ve taken care of everything.”
His words warned her of trouble, although his expression was relaxed. He’d disappeared for a while as she visited with Ria. As she changed clothes at home afterward, he’d told her he had to make some calls. She’d assumed they were business calls. “What do you mean you’ve taken care of everything?”
“I know you’re concerned about Ria. So I found a private duty nurse that will move in with her and take care of her when she comes home from the hospital. That way you don’t have to worry, and we can still fly out on Thursday.”
Alicia’s heart beat faster. Fury boiled up and spilled over. “And you felt no need to discuss this with me first?”
He flicked his hand. “I didn’t want you to have to be concerned with details.”
“What you wanted was to keep your plans unchanged. My sister is not a detail. I love her. I’d postpone a hundred trips for her. You have no right trying to run my life!”
“I’m doing no such thing. I’m trying to make it easier.”
She pushed her hair behind her ear and fixed him with a protesting stare. “You’re trying to make it easier for yourself. It’s your way or no way. I had a father like that. As a child, I had no choice. He backed me into a corner and I had to stay there. But I’m an adult now and I make my own decisions. What’s easier for you might not be easier for me. All you want to do is get me to California.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” he asked impatiently. “You just said you were looking forward to it.”
“But not when Ria needs me.”
He arched his dark brows and asked none too gently, “What if I need you? My life is upside down with my daughter living three thousand miles away. We need to make decisions now before Emily and I have to spend any more time apart. Can’t you understand that?”
Understanding his frustration, she offered, “Jon, I’m only talking about postponing the trip a few weeks.”
“Are you?” His eyes narrowed, his posture straightened.
If he was accusing her of something, she wished he’d just say it. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He pinned her to the spot with green eyes that were hard. His voice was rough. “I’m not your father, Alicia. Since the moment we met you’ve had no trouble standing up to me. Just because I’m trying to do something to help you doesn’t mean I’m trying to run your life.”
She felt as if she was the one who had done something wrong, and she hadn’t. “It feels like it.”
He studied her long and speculatively until she felt as if she were a specimen under a microscope.
“What?” she asked when she couldn’t stand his perusal a moment longer.
There was an unnatural immobility about him, a stoic objectiveness that gave her chills. “I don’t think you know what an equal man-woman relationship is. Patrick Fallon was a kind father figure who gave you everything you wanted, who let you do whatever you wanted.”
“He respected me. He—”
Not letting her finish, he cut in harshly, “How was the sex, Alicia? Was there passion between you? Did you burst into flames for him when he kissed you as you do with me?”
Heat flushed her cheeks. “This has nothing to do with sex.”
Jon took a step closer, and she could feel the sensual sizzle that always vibrated between them. “What happens in the bedroom is a good gauge of what happens in the rest of the marriage. Your childhood set you up for the relationship you had with Patrick. A nice, easy, comfortable companionship. Don’t you want more than that?”
She was too filled with hurt and anger at that moment to want anything except for Jon to leave. “I want to make my own decisions. I want to live my own life.”
“You have to consider Emily, too.”
That comment hurt even more than the rest. “I always consider Emily. And if you don’t know that by now, you don’t know me at all.” She bit her lip and tried to hold back her tears.
“Alicia…”
She couldn’t listen to any more of his criticism, or battle against his commanding presence. “I think you’d better leave. I’ll use Ria’s car to go to the hospital.”
His jaw set, his face grew expressionless, his gaze became shuttered so she couldn’t see his thoughts or his feelings as he answered, “If that’s what you prefer.”
She didn’t know what she preferred. She felt as if she’d lost something precious; s
he felt as if Jon was already three thousand miles away.
Silence stretched between them until Jon challenged, “I’ll wait to hear from you. But I’m going to be on that plane Thursday. I’ve been away too long already.” He didn’t wait for a response, but strode out the door and didn’t look back.
Alicia put a fresh glass of orange juice on the table next to Ria’s chair. “Need anything else?”
Ria stood and started up the short flight of stairs.
“Where are you going?”
“To the bathroom if you don’t mind.”
Alicia sighed and sat on the sofa. “What’s wrong?”
Ria shook her head slowly and gave her sister a wry smile. “I’ve been here two days and you’re driving me nuts.” Before Alicia could feel hurt, she went on, “You know I love you, sis, and normally I love spending time with you, but you’re hovering. I can’t take a breath without you asking me if I’m okay. I think there’s more wrong with you than with me.”
Alicia took one of those deep breaths that she’d been taking many of in the past three days. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Ria came back into the room and sat next to her twin. “Call Jon.”
“No!”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know what to say to him or how to act. He said some things…that might be true.” Alicia averted her eyes. “Patrick and I had a good marriage, didn’t we?”
Ria shrugged. “That depends on what you mean by good.”
She faced Ria squarely. “We were friends, for goodness sake. Isn’t that important?”
“Are you and Jon friends?”
Alicia got up and paced to the picture window. “That’s different.”
“There’s something more with Jon, isn’t there?”
“There’s so much with Jon. It overwhelms me sometimes. He’s so forceful, so confident, so…sexy.”
“Sis, the absence of conflict doesn’t mean you had a good marriage with Patrick, it doesn’t mean it was not good. Personally, Patrick was too bland for my taste. But I’m different than you.”
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