by Beth Wiseman
She was thankful for whoever it was who had encouraged Abe to talk to Stephen. She would pray for this person.
And thank you, Abe, for having the courage to follow through on the task.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Katherine was ten minutes late to the coffee shop, and she prepared for a verbal lashing from her father-in-law, but instead he broke into a big smile when she joined him at the table.
“You have the light,” he said.
“What?” She took off her black bonnet and put it on the booth beside her, then she tied the strings on her kapp.
“Let me rephrase that. You’ve always had the light, but today it is shining extra bright. I think you have good news.”
Katherine smiled back at him. “Ya, I do. I think my family is starting to heal.”
James pushed one of the coffee cups toward her. She took a sip and nearly spit out the hot liquid. “What is this?” she asked, wishing she had a glass of water. It wasn’t coffee. It was . . . sweet.
“The waitress asked me if I’d like to try the vanilla latte, so I figured, why not?”
“But you didn’t try it. I did.”
“I never touch that whipped-up stuff.” He waved his hand dismissively.
She wasn’t sure how to politely refuse the drink, so she moved it to the side.
“So, does part of that healing have to do with Gideon?”
“Ya, I spent some time with him a few days ago and we talked about his vision of heaven. I told him I imagined heaven was full of all of our favorite things and people. It was fun to hear him describe what his heaven would look like. Lots of games, trees with candy instead of leaves, children playing tag and hide-and-seek. I told him to imagine his father was there, waiting for him.” A warm feeling washed over her. “He spent the next few days drawing his heaven on the wall. Then last night he told me I could repaint the wall if I wanted to. I think I’m going to wait a little while before I do that. Every time I see that wall, I smile.” Katherine realized that working with Gideon on this had made her truly happy, something she hadn’t felt in months. “He seems to be getting better. And I’m grateful to God for that.” She held up a finger. “And, we had another breakthrough. Apparently, someone encouraged Abe—that’s my daughter’s boyfriend—to talk to Stephen. Remember, he is my sixteen-year-old son?”
James was still smiling. “Yes, I remember.”
“Well, whoever suggested this might have saved my son’s life. Stephen finally opened up to me. Some of the things he said . . . well, they were hard to hear.” Katherine looked down, then back up at James, whose smile had faded. “Stephen admitted to me that he had been having thoughts of killing himself. His grief over his father’s death was worse than any of us realized. We all miss Elias, but Stephen’s grief was manifesting itself in a dangerous way. The good news is that he agreed to talk to a grief counselor.”
James put his hand on hers. “This is the best news.” He smiled. “And just in time for Christmas next week.”
“We know that this is a process and things won’t be fixed in a day, but at least he’ll talk to someone and maybe the counselor can help him work through his feelings. I also called the bishop and asked him to talk with Stephen soon. It’s important for Stephen to have a strong male role model, especially at his age.” They were quiet for a moment, their hands still touching. “Speaking of next week, on Christmas Day, we will be having worship service and a large meal. And as you probably remember, we celebrate Christmas for two days. Most years, on Second Christmas—the day after Christmas—we visit shut-ins and elderly friends who might not have family nearby, or whoever we would just like to spend extra time with during this blessed time of year. But this year, we have decided that on Second Christmas, we will stay home and share memories about Elias.” Katherine moved her hand out from under James’s and gently laid it on top of his. “Would you like to come to our home on Second Christmas? I think it’s time the children meet their grandfather.”
James blinked back tears. “And hear about my son? About all that I missed?” He dabbed at his left eye, which hadn’t twitched once. “And meet my grandchildren?”
Katherine nodded. “Would you like that?”
James squeezed her hand. “It would be the best gift a man could receive.”
She gently took her hand back and smiled. “Gut. Then it’s a date.” She grabbed her cup and took a sip, forgetting that it wasn’t black coffee. After getting over the initial shock of sweetness, she had to admit it tasted pretty good.
James watched her and then nodded toward the cup. “Not as bad as you thought, huh?”
Katherine smiled. “Might take some getting used to, but I like it better than I thought I would.”
He swiped at his eyes again. She was doing the right thing. She could feel the Lord’s approval shining down on her. And Elias’s.
Mary Carol couldn’t thank Abe enough for talking to Stephen. She smothered him in kisses as he drove them to James’s house the following Saturday.
“Danki so much. Whatever you said to Stephen, it helped him open up to Mamm. He has an appointment to talk to a doctor who helps people with grief. And we’re thinking maybe all of us might go.”
“Aw, I didn’t do much. But I’m loving my reward.” He grinned before he returned one of her kisses.
“I know you’re not thrilled to be visiting James again, but next week is Christmas. He probably doesn’t have anyone to spend the day with, so I at least wanted to visit him today to wish him Christmas blessings.” She nodded toward the backseat. “And to give him another cake.”
“Ach, just admit it. You like the old guy.”
She pulled her coat tighter, hugging herself. Paradise was having a hard winter so far, and the temperature today wasn’t supposed to get above freezing. She was glad that they’d left the small heater for James. And he’d mentioned that a friend had given him a coat.
“Ya. I do like him,” she said after a moment. “Who knows if anything he says is true. But there is a kindness about him that seems genuine.” She paused and sighed. “He’s familiar. I wonder where I would know him from.”
“I don’t know.” He turned the horse onto the gravel road that lead to the farmhouse. “Who does your mamm think you’re making the cake for? Have you told her about James?”
“Mamm left early this morning with Gideon so she didn’t see me baking. I’ve been lucky about that both times. I don’t want to lie, but I know that once Mamm finds out, she’s going to forbid me to go there since he’s a stranger. And Englisch.”
“Ya, you’re probably right.”
“Mamm’s been staying up late working on quilted items to sell at the market. I know it’s because we are short on money, even though she won’t admit it. But she did say that the bishop was insistent that she use the community health fund for any grief counseling any of us might need. We’re lucky we have a lenient bishop.”
After Abe tethered the horse, Mary Carol jumped out of the buggy, grabbed the cake pan, and they trudged through the snow to the farmhouse. James opened the door before either of them knocked. He wasn’t well-groomed like last time, and Mary Carol wondered if he’d forgotten that he had invited them over today. He was wearing a wrinkled white shirt, his hair was flattened on one side, and he was barefoot and shivering. But he stepped aside so they could enter.
“Goodness, it’s cold in here. Where is the little heater we left for you?” She scanned the living room. All the empty Coke cans were gone. “And what about the blanket?”
James walked to his chair and sat down. “What heater and blanket?”
“Did you maybe take them upstairs so you would be warm when you slept?” Mary Carol was still holding the cake.
James shook his head. “No. I don’t know what happened to them. Is that chocolate cake?”
“Yes. Should I put it in the kitchen?”
James nodded. Mary Carol walked to the counter and set the cake down. She wondered what else James ate. She pe
eked in some of the cabinets, and just like last time, they were empty. She walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch beside Abe. They were all shivering.
“James, do you have food to eat?” Mary Carol gave him a quick once-over. He had a small belly and didn’t appear to be undernourished.
“Oh yes. Lots of food.” He pointed to the kitchen. “And sometimes I eat out.”
Mary Carol made a mental note to bring something more than cake next time. She doubted James had money to eat out. “Do you have plans for Christmas?”
He sat taller, ran a hand through his hair, and smiled. “Yes, I do.”
Mary Carol doubted that was true either. “That’s gut.”
They were all quiet. James’s left eye twitched again. He was rubbing his forehead.
“It was a gut idea for me to talk to Mary Carol’s brother Stephen. I think it helped.” Abe took off his hat and set it on the floor.
“I know it helped.” Mary Carol waited for James to comment, but he just kept rubbing his forehead. “James, are you okay?” she asked after a moment.
James put his hands in his lap. “Some days my head hurts. Other days it doesn’t.” He scowled. “I think I got shot once.”
Mary Carol was going to have to get her mother involved after the holidays. If Mamm knew how this man was living, she could contact the Englisch authorities for help. Mary Carol wasn’t sure who to call.
She glanced at Abe, then said, “We can’t stay today, James. But we wanted to bring you the cake.” They both stood up, and James did too.
“I love cake. Chocolate cake. Thank you for bringing it to me.” He walked them to the door. Abe extended his hand to James.
“Merry Christmas, sir.”
Mary Carol held her breath as she waited to see if James would shake Abe’s hand. She smiled when he did. Then she hugged James. “Merry Christmas,” she said.
He gave a quick wave and closed the door behind them.
“We’re going straight to the market,” Abe said once he got the buggy going. “I’ve got enough money to get him a few things.”
Her heart swelled at Abe’s generosity.
Mary Carol opened her purse and dug around. “I have fourteen dollars. That will buy a little bit.”
After they loaded up at the market, they went back to the farmhouse and knocked on the door. When James didn’t answer, they left everything on the front porch. A new heater in the box, blankets, and as much nonperishable food as they could afford.
“He’s not in there.” Mary Carol was peeking in the living room window. “Do you think he’s lying down upstairs?”
“Probably.”
They knocked one more time, and when there wasn’t any answer, they headed back to Abe’s buggy.
God, please make sure that James eats plenty today and that he stays warm.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Christmas morning, Katherine knew that she wasn’t the only one feeling the void, but they were all going through the motions in an effort to remember the reason for the season. As she’d done in the past, she had colorfully decorated gifts and placed them around the house. She knew a few plain families who put up a Christmas tree, but it was kept secret from the bishop, and mostly it was for the benefit of relatives who weren’t Amish. Katherine had never put up a tree, but she did have holiday candles, sprigs of holly, and festive bows on the mantel.
“Do you like the gloves, Gideon?” Katherine had handmade all the gifts this year. In the past, she and Elias had shopped for one store-bought gift for each child, but that wasn’t practical this year. In addition to farming, Elias had worked for a construction company part time, but they didn’t have much of a nest egg built up.
Gideon put the gloves on his tiny hands. “Danki, Mamm.” Katherine giggled to herself at Gideon’s new haircut. Stephen had kept his word and wrapped the pipes in the basement with some foam that Elias had in the shed. He’d also surprised Katherine and trimmed his brother’s hair. Gideon’s bangs were noticeably crooked, but she decided to let them be instead of fixing them. Delegating some of her responsibilities meant some things weren’t going to be done up to her standard, and she was going to have to be okay with that.
Stephen kept the fire going, and generally, things were going better than Katherine would have predicted a month ago.
And James Zook got credit for speeding up the healing process. Despite his odd ways, memory loss, and bizarre stories, he seemed to have a gift—an ability to understand the human spirit better than most.
Mary Carol ripped through her gifts with lightning speed, and Katherine knew it was because she was in a hurry to spend part of the day with Abe and his family. Katherine had invited Abe to tomorrow’s Second Christmas. The smile on her daughter’s face had been a gift in itself.
“Slow down, Mary Carol. You have plenty of time, and the meal is keeping warm. You can head to Abe’s right after we eat.”
“I love everything!” Linda said loudly as she put on a black sweater Katherine had knitted for her. Katherine had asked Linda if she might need to talk to the counselor, but Linda had frowned and told her no. “Daed is in heaven. And I miss him, but I know he is with Jesus having fun.” Linda’s maturity surprised Katherine, but she was thankful for her daughter’s positive spirit. Katherine could learn a thing or two from her.
After lots of hugs, they made their way to the kitchen, and once everyone was seated, they bowed their heads and prayed silently. Katherine looked up just as Stephen pointed to the sweet potatoes. “Daed’s favorite. And you didn’t put the pecans on top.”
“Nee. But I will if you all want me to,” she said while she grabbed the potholder to handle the hot dish. Her children shook their heads. Elias had never liked nuts.
“I’m just glad you always make the paprika potatoes too,” Linda said, “since those are my favorite.”
After Katherine had served Gideon, she held up the potholder. Her hand burned because a portion of the material had worn thin from years of use. She normally wouldn’t consider pulling one out from the stash to sell at Diana’s booth, but she thought about it for a moment. Why not? It’s okay to do for yourself sometimes, Katherine.
Most of the families in their district enjoyed a traditional meal of turkey, dressing, potatoes, peas, casseroles, cranberry sauce, and way too many desserts. Katherine’s family was no exception. Katherine and Mary Carol had been cooking since early that morning while Linda kept an eye on Gideon. Despite the knot that kept trying to form in her throat, it was a blessed day.
After the dishes were washed and put away, she brought the box of craft items to the kitchen table. She lifted up a pretty sage and burgundy potholder and turned it over in her hands. Yes, this would do. She smiled, surprised at how much she was looking forward to celebrating Second Christmas tomorrow. And following a good night’s sleep, she awoke with an unexpected bounce in her step.
“You’re next, Linda. What fond memory of Daed do you want to share?” Katherine asked.
Linda clapped her hands a few times from where she was sitting on the floor. “I have a gut one! Remember when the family played volleyball? Me, Mary Carol, and Mamm were on one team, and Daed, Gideon, and Stephen were on the other?”
Stephen laughed. “That was so unfair. Gideon was only four. That’s the only reason you girls won.”
“Nee, we won because we were better than you!” Mary Carol said, nudging Linda’s shoulder in a loving gesture.
Linda laughed. “You’re just not used to losing to girls, Stephen.”
While the kids continued to tease each other, Katherine snuck a glance at the clock on the mantel. She hoped James remembered to be here at noon. She’d already put the homemade bread, chow-chow, jams, and jellies on the table. She’d poured a glaze over the ham and was keeping it warm in the oven, and green beans were simmering on the stove. She was planning to make a batch of brownies, but for some reason they were almost out of their powdered cocoa. She’d just bought the canister a couple
of weeks ago. She’d have to ask Mary Carol about that later.
Stephen would be the most excited to see the large bowl of potato salad in the refrigerator. Katherine added bell pepper to her potato salad and Stephen loved it. Elias loved it as well. She wondered if he was watching them from heaven, listening to them recall their favorite memories of him.
She eased herself off the couch when she heard a car coming up the driveway. The last time they’d met, she had questioned James about where he’d gotten the car and how he put gas in it. He’d told her, “I got it the normal way people get a car. I bought it. And I put gas in it so it will run.”
She watched him park and walk around to the trunk. He took out a large box. Katherine’s heart started to pound as he got closer, and she could see that inside were smaller wrapped gifts. She didn’t want her children having any more worldly items than necessary. There were enough electronic gadgets lying around with Stephen and Mary Carol in their rumschpringes. And where did he get the money for presents?
She forced the thoughts aside, deciding to focus on the bigger issue. Her kinner were about to meet their grandfather. She’d never heard her husband speak poorly about his father in front of the children, so she was hoping the kinner would welcome this new family member into their lives.
Mary Carol couldn’t believe her eyes when her mother escorted James into the middle of the living room. He was carrying a box full of wrapped gifts and looking spiffy in a long-sleeved maroon shirt that was freshly pressed, black slacks, and shiny black shoes. He had on a brown coat that was similar to the one her father used to wear.