“I do not!”
“Yes, you do!” Robin yelled. He pushed his index finger into Peter’s chest over and over again while he willed his voice to sound cool and collected instead of screechy. “How can you be so cold?”
Peter’s face twisted into a frozen mask. Even his eyes appeared to freeze over with a fine sheet of thin ice. Robin stepped back, missing the man he’d gotten to know—the man who might behave oddly but at heart was warm-hearted and compassionate. Peter’s eyes had always held a sparkle of mischief in them, but now…. Now Robin shivered and wrapped his arms around his torso.
His voice sounded shaky when he whispered, “You being peculiar is okay, even weirdly endearing, but your insensitivity is scary.”
“In time you will understand that sometimes it’s better not to let your feelings get the better of you,” Peter replied. “You’re so very young still.”
“Well, in that case…. Fuck you!” Blinding heat rushed through Robin’s body, and his vision blurred. He didn’t know where to go with his anger and frustration, so for just a moment he allowed his wolf to take over. When the haze in front of his eyes cleared, Peter wasn’t standing anymore. He was kneeling on the ground wheezing with one hand clutching his stomach.
The sight of Peter winded and gasping for air did nothing for Robin. On the contrary, he flushed and his stomach hardened in protest.
He opened his mouth to apologize, but instead he said, “Just in case you didn’t know—I’m young and let my feelings rule my actions. I thought you might need to know that. Since it seems you constantly have to correct me, maybe it would be better for us to cut our bond.”
Regret set in as soon as the words left his mouth. What the hell had come over him? Fine tremors surged through him, forcing him to lock his knees to prevent them from buckling. What had he done?
He did not want to cut his bond with Peter, absolutely not. But neither could he ignore the impact Peter’s words had on him. How was he supposed to spend the rest of his life with someone emotionally cold?
Robin tried swallowing around the thickness in his throat but aborted his attempts because it hurt so much. After wiping the back of his hand over his eyes, Peter lifted his head and held out his hand for him.
Robin took a tentative step toward him, although he was still unsure of what to do. He looked out for Peter’s energy lines and found the colors seeming to seep out of them. Some of the lines even snapped and their frazzled ends reminded him of bleeding cuts.
Robin fell to his knees and crawled to Peter, where he ignored the outstretched hand to sling his arms around Peter’s neck. Peter put his arms around Robin, at first tentatively, and when Robin didn’t reject him, with more strength. In the end, he crushed Robin to his chest.
Resting his head on Peter’s shoulder, Robin’s heart beat fast and erratically. He gazed at their energy lines, shocked by how dull Peter’s energy lines appeared. For the first time he consciously pushed his own energy into Peter’s, merging their lines, trying to repair the damage he’d done.
“I’m sorry,” he choked. “I didn’t mean it like this. It’s just… if you’re insensitive about someone else’s death and how much it affects other people… it makes me wonder about the real you.”
“Don’t ever threaten to cut our bond again,” Peter said in a trembling voice. “Promise me.”
“I won’t.”
“I apologize for scaring you and for appearing cruel. I will try to adjust my attitude.”
“Adjust your attitude? Peter! Don’t you feel anything? We’re talking about Walter—Jay’s father!” A sob escaped Robin’s mouth. “He was my friend and a really good man.”
Peter nuzzled his face in response before he said, “My angel, I can’t promise you more. I beg you to understand that it is necessary for me not to become too invested emotionally.”
“Why? Explain to me why!”
As much as he sometimes was still thrown by his altered way of seeing the world since he’d mated Peter; right now he was happy about this ability. Peter’s energy lines showed him how sorry he was. It made it so much easier to forgive Peter’s choice of words and try to understand. Would he have reacted the same way if he hadn’t been able to see Peter’s real feelings?
While his thoughts tumbled around, Robin fed Peter’s energy lines. Seeing Peter’s colors brighten filled him with pride, even though he struggled to understand Peter’s words.
“How old do you think I am?” Peter asked.
Caught off guard, Robin lifted his head to frown at Peter. “Um, that’s a trick question, right? I’m really bad at guessing people’s ages.”
“Indulge me.”
Sighing, Robin mumbled, “Don’t you get all pissed off at me if I get it wrong. Twenty-five-ish?”
Peter smiled before placing a kiss on Robin’s left dimple.
“That far off?” Robin asked.
“Yes.”
“I told you I’m bad at this guessing thing.”
“Add two hundred years to it and you got it right,” Peter replied. His eyes seemed to penetrate Robin.
“Very funny. I thought you said I should add two hundred years.”
“That is correct.”
“Are you feeling well? Your energy lines were really dull only seconds ago, maybe they messed with your head? Or wait—did you hit your head in a fight or something? We should probably bring you to a doctor and let him check you out,” Robin babbled.
Unbearable heat alternated with icy cold, causing his body to vibrate. That couldn’t be true, could it?
Yet Robin couldn’t shake off his instinct to believe Peter. Somehow Peter’s age made sense. Wouldn’t it explain Peter’s often old-fashioned phrasing of words?
“I am fine, my angel. I’m aware of the shocking quality of our age difference, but—”
“Age difference? We’re… you’re… wait… you’re two hundred and six years older than me. Right? Sheesh, talk about a huge age gap, huh?”
“You seem to accept it very easily.”
“I—” Robin broke off, then and started anew. “Peter, I’m totally freaked out! Can’t you see that?”
Peter tilted his head to rake his gaze over Robin’s body, sending tingles that weren’t all uncomfortable through him. “I believe you’re right. Your energy lines appear to be in disarray.”
“In—” Robin cut himself off again.
He rubbed his hands over his face. When had he stumbled into an alternative reality? When he lowered his hands, Peter looked at him in concern. His arms clamped down around Robin’s waist.
“Are you serious about your age?” Robin asked.
“Of course, why would I joke about it?”
“Yes, why, how silly of me,” Robin muttered to himself. He did his best to keep his eye roll short. “So just to get this straight: you’re over two hundred years old, a were-bear, and can read energy lines of any living being. Did I miss anything?”
“No, you got it all.”
Robin’s breathing accelerated to wheezing, when he said, “Great. Well, if that is all, why don’t we go and look after Jay and Tim?”
“I thought you wanted me to explain to you why I can’t be invested emotionally?”
On impulse, Robin replied, “You’ll probably tell me how many friends, family members, lovers, and so on you’ve already lost and that you can’t get attached to everyone. Did I get it right again?”
“Yes.” Peter gaped at Robin.
Robin cupped Peter’s face in his hands, pressed a hard kiss on Peter’s lips, then glowered at him. “That’s utter crap to me. You better come off your high horse, or I’ll kick your ass each and every time you act like an insensitive jerk. Are we clear?”
Peter opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out. Robin couldn’t contain his smile any longer as he patted Peter’s cheek, then rose to his feet.
Holding out his hand for Peter, he said, “Fantastic, I love it when we’re on the same page. Now let’s g
o and make sure nothing happens to Jay. While we’re at it, you may explain to me when you had originally planned to tell me about our tiny age gap.”
Peter all but stumbled to his feet, still wearing the same awed expression on his face. He followed Robin to the cavern’s entrance before he suddenly laughed and tugged Robin backward. He whirled Robin around and kissed him before interlacing their fingers.
“You have a very interesting way of showing your displeasure.”
“I’m not displeased, I’m pissed off, but knowing you’re so much older than me is more than I can deal with right now.” Robin reciprocated with an equally fierce kiss. “Wait, can all werewolves grow that old? Because I’ve never heard of it.”
“No, werewolves and all other hybrids have a normal human life span. Only we were-bears, as you like to say, live for around three hundred years.” Peter pulled Robin close to him until their pelvises touched. He fastened his hands on Robin’s hips, and for a moment Robin closed his eyes to soak up the warmth, strength, and the security those hands offered to him. He opened his eyes again when Peter kissed him on the tip of his nose.
Peter cleared his throat several times before he whispered, “I had given up on finding my mate. I believed I was doomed to spend the rest of my life without experiencing the bond to my soul mate, the one who would complete me. I can’t express how much it means to me that I found you.”
Robin melted against Peter, a sudden lightness in his chest threatening to overwhelm him. “Wow, that was very, um, cheesy.”
“Cheesy?” Peter asked.
“Corny. Kitschy. You name it.”
“I really wish you’d stop belittling what we have,” Peter said.
“I’m not—”
“Yes, you are.”
“Hey, hang on a second here,” Robin protested. “When did you turn the tables? You are the one in the doghouse, not me!”
“I don’t like to be in your disgrace.”
“In disgrace? You’re not—oh forget it. Arguing with you is exhausting and totally unfair because you have had two hundred years of practice,” Robin said.
“I need my practice to keep up with you.” Peter kissed first one of Robin’s dimples, then the other. Clasping one hand around Robin’s neck, he whispered, “I will do as you wish as I can see your point. Maybe I’ve grown cold and indifferent in my years, and that’s not how I want to be. I’m sure you’ll do everything in your power to reverse this development. I love you, my angel.”
Robin’s knees trembled, and he couldn’t swallow past the lump in his throat. Never before had so many varying emotions assaulted him all at once. Never before had he fallen for the sappy talk, but here he was, going all weak in the knees because Peter told him he loved him.
He tried to reciprocate, to say the same words, but his vocal cords wouldn’t obey. Flushed, he gazed into Peter’s dark brown eyes, hoping Peter wouldn’t be disappointed if he didn’t say the words back.
As if reading his mind, Peter said, “It’s fine, my angel. I can see how you feel.”
He swept his hand through the air, indicating to Robin to look at their energy lines. For a short moment the sparkling lights blinded Robin. The colors flared, danced, and showered them in luminous cascades. Robin emitted a strangled noise.
“This is us, our bond, our love. I know how you feel even if you can’t yet voice your feelings.”
Licking his lips to wet them gave Robin the chance to form a coherent retort. “Can’t fool you, huh?”
“No.”
“Sheesh, thanks, that was a very crushing answer. What if I don’t want you to know how I feel?”
“You will learn to embrace your feelings for me and stop trying to hide them. That’s the way it is for every bonded pair,” Peter explained with a grin. “Please stay close to me now while we search for Jayden and your brother.”
“What are we going to do?” Robin asked as he laced their fingers together.
“Protect them.”
“Right. Why didn’t that occur to me?” Robin asked.
“I have no idea.”
Robin opened his mouth but clicked it shut again. He glanced at their surrounding energy net and was soothed by the slowly whirling lines.
Peter wasn’t a bad man, nor was he a cruel man. Robin winced as he remembered the words he’d thrown into Peter’s face, wondering which of them was the cruel one. He jumped when Peter gently grasped his chin to turn his face toward him.
“We will be all right.”
“If you say so.”
“I do. Your job is to believe me.”
“Yes, sir!” Robin saluted. Peter stared at him for a moment but said nothing. The prolonged silence made Robin twitchy until he couldn’t stop himself from uttering, “What?”
Peter yanked him back into his arms, gave him a bone-creaking hug, and then kissed him. Dazed, Robin allowed Peter to lead him out of his personal cavern to search for Jay and Tim.
Twenty-Four
THEY FOUND Jay and Tim at the entrance of the cave where Jay was involved in an argument with the two guards. A flock of people had gathered around them, preventing Jay and Tim from leaving.
“Uh-oh. Tim will go ballistic if anyone dares to come closer to Jay,” Robin said.
“No one is threatening Jayden. Tim will recognize this.”
Robin stopped and pulled hard at Peter’s hand. Peter stumbled right into him, which caused both of them to hastily adjust their balance to keep on their feet.
“You’ve seen how he reacts before!” Robin said. “He will not recognize that. He lost him and had to live without him for eighteen years. His sanity makes a detour to… to… wherever, I don’t know. Bottom line is, he’s not sane where Jay’s safety is concerned. He will attack. Get your people to back off. Now.”
“Eighteen years? And he had already bonded?” Peter asked, sounding out of breath.
“Peter! Can we do the heart-to-heart later? Tim’s already partially shifted and growling.”
“But no one wants to harm—”
“Sheesh!” Robin withdrew his hand from Peter’s and stalked over to the gathering of people, elbowing his way through them.
Tim’s eyes glowed and only Jay’s white-knuckled grip on his hand impeded him from completing the shift. Robin listened to Tim’s harsh pants interspersed with deep, rumbling growls that chilled him to the bone.
“Tim, they won’t hurt Jay.”
“They won’t allow us to leave,” Jay cut in, his voice sounding nothing like the voice Robin was used to.
Peter pushed through the other people, glaring at Robin openly. “I told you not to leave my side.”
“I told you to get your people to back off. Did you listen?”
Peter stiffened but nonetheless grabbed for Robin’s hand. Robin had to thwart a pained hiss when Peter squeezed his hand firmly.
Ow. Okay, I get it. Bad me. Stop squishing my hand and help me get my brother and Jay out of here, Robin said.
When the pressure lessened, Robin grimaced and wiggled his fingers. Peter beckoned toward the guards, who immediately stepped away from the entrance.
To the bystanders he said, “Lance, Will, you’ll come with us. Pick a few more to help us guard Jay until their pack leader arrives.”
Will and Lance acknowledged Peter’s command while the other people retreated into the aisles leading away from the entrance hall. Tim’s breathing calmed down and his eyes shifted back to their human form while Jay’s face remained impassive. His normally bright blue eyes had changed to a dark blue, which caused them to appear dangerous, void of compassion. How far was Jay gone?
As soon as the way was cleared, Jay tugged at Tim’s hand and towed him toward the tunnel that would guide them out of the cave system and away from security.
“I advise you to wait until the group of people who’ll accompany us are ready,” Peter said.
Robin groaned inwardly, already anticipating Jay’s retort. Jay didn’t disappoint him. “Feel free to stick
your advice up your ass. We’re leaving now. We should’ve never gone with you in the first place.”
Laying a pacifying hand on Peter’s shoulder, Robin whispered, “Don’t argue with him and don’t try to correct him now, okay?”
Peter’s muscles tensed underneath his hand, and Robin feared Peter wouldn’t comply.
“Please allow me to lead the way outside and show you where the van is hidden,” Peter offered.
“I—”
This time Tim cut off Jay’s answer by saying, “We appreciate it.”
“We don’t,” Jay snarled.
Robin turned away, not wanting to see a fight erupt between Tim and Jay, and found himself face-to-face with Shawn. Robin asked, “Are you going with us?”
“You bet.”
“Does Will know about that?”
“Not yet.” Shawn shrugged.
“Well, then good luck at convincing him.”
“Shawn!” Will called out as he hurried to them, a couple of men following him. “I want you to stay—”
“No!” Shawn objected. “Either you’re taking me with you, or I’ll just follow you.”
“Shawn,” Will sighed. He clasped Shawn’s neck in his huge hand and shook him lightly, the exasperation pouring off him in palpable waves.
“I’ll, um, wait outside the cave,” Robin said.
Peter was already crouching inside the tunnel with Jay and Tim closely behind him. As they crawled through the corridor, Shawn and Will whispered fiercely. At least Peter didn’t want Robin to stay here instead of going with him.
After they had moved out of the corridor, they all straightened up and inhaled the crisp, fresh air. A light, cool breeze stirred the leaves in the treetops, and only a few fluffy clouds wandered along the light blue sky.
“It’s good to be outside again,” Robin said, then drew in lungfuls of the wonderful air.
“Yeah,” Tim agreed.
“You pure werewolves never do well for a long time inside the cave.”
“I’m not a pure werewolf, and I hated to be cooped up inside too,” Jay said.
Peter didn’t react to Jay’s remark; instead he led them on the small path that would bring them down to the forest. “Please be extremely cautious.”
Secret Energy (Shifters Book 2) Page 17