by Annie West
Only this time she hadn’t shoved up her sleeves so she could take a hands-on role. Her boots were pristine, not even a fleck of dirt. Her face wasn’t flushed with exertion and she didn’t have a hair out of place as when she’d cuddled some toddler in a crowd.
He liked it when she looked a little flushed and rumpled. It reminded him of Luisa naked in his bed.
Now she looked elegant with her stylish clothes and pale, fine-boned features.
Raul’s eyes narrowed. Too pale, surely?
Usually Luisa was a golden girl with her colouring and her tan. It complemented her infectious smile as she chatted with anybody and everybody.
Now, though surrounded by people as usual, she stood a little aloof, hanging back from the discussion. She looked peaky and the smile she wore wasn’t the grin he’d become accustomed to.
No one else seemed to sense anything wrong.
But he’d come to know his wife.
He tensed, premonition skating down his nape as he recalled recent changes he’d preferred not to dwell on. Times when Luisa’s warm impulsiveness had grown strained, appearing only in the heights of passion.
Then she was all his, just as he wanted her.
He repressed a scowl. Did he imagine she’d grown cooler? The suspicion had hit several times that she no longer wanted to share herself. As if she tried to hide the woman he’d come to think of as the real Luisa. Open, honest and exuberant.
Or as if that Luisa had ceased to exist.
An icy hand gripped his innards as he fought a rising tide of tension. A sense of déjà vu.
He squashed the thought. Luisa was not Ana. Only Raul’s youth and the blindness of so-called love had ever convinced him Ana was the sort of woman he could trust.
Yet still he couldn’t shift a sense of foreboding.
‘Is everything OK?’
Luisa swung round, away from people waving goodbye. Raul had moved across the limo’s wide seat to settle beside her. He’d raised the privacy screen.
Excitement zinged through her veins and drew the skin of her breasts and stomach tight. Her body betrayed her. She couldn’t resist Raul, even knowing their relationship was tragically one-sided. Lately too, the more she tried to pull back and develop some protective distance, the more determined he seemed to invade her space.
Yet there was no gleam in his eyes now, just the shadow of a frown.
‘Of course. Everything’s fine.’ With a supreme effort Luisa pasted a smile on her lips as she lied.
She teetered on a knife-edge of despair. She’d given her heart to a man who couldn’t reciprocate her feelings. And now it seemed possible there’d be a child.
Her emotions were like a seesaw. One moment she was thrilled at the idea of carrying Raul’s baby, at the new life she hoped she cradled in her womb. The next chill fear gripped her at the idea of bringing a child into this tiny family so unlike anything she’d dreamed of. Love was anathema to Raul yet it was her hidden secret. What sort of world was that in which to raise a child?
That was when she hoped against hope the pregnancy was a false alarm and guilt ate her, for wishing away such a precious gift.
She couldn’t blame Raul. With his past it was no wonder he’d cut himself off from the deepest of emotions. She didn’t even know if he believed in love!
As for his unswerving dedication to his country, putting it ahead of personal relationships, she could understand that too.
When she’d translated the papers about that trial she’d been stunned to learn the key role Raul had played in the investigation, as well as the political ramifications of the plot. Maritz needed Raul even more than Raul needed the satisfaction of fulfilling the role he was born to.
‘Luisa?’
‘Yes?’ She looked over his shoulder and waved. ‘What did you think of the garden site? It’s got potential, don’t you think? And the locals are very enthusiastic.’ Great. Now she was babbling.
‘The site is excellent.’ He paused and she sensed he chose his words carefully. ‘You seem … not as exuberant as usual.’
Luisa darted a glance at him then away, her stomach churning. ‘I didn’t think exuberance in a princess was a good thing.’ She clenched nervous hands and searched for a neutral topic. ‘The project’s going well, don’t you think?’ Or had she already said that? Her brain was scrambled.
‘Very well. You should be pleased.’
‘I am. The volunteers have worked so hard.’
‘You’ve worked hard too.’ His brows puckered. ‘You haven’t been overdoing it, have you?’
Luisa’s breath snagged. Had he guessed? She’d been forced from bed earlier and earlier by what she suspected was morning sickness. She didn’t want Raul to see her white, nauseous and bedraggled. Especially when she didn’t know how he’d react to the news.
It was one thing for him to say he’d break with tradition in bringing up a child. Another to welcome their baby with the whole-hearted love it deserved.
In that moment she decided. The idea of a trip home to see Mary and Sam had lurked in the back of her mind for days. Now the need for their warmth and unquestioning support was too much to resist. She’d visit them and discreetly schedule a doctor’s appointment, something that was impossible here.
Imagine even visiting a pharmacy in Maritz to buy a pregnancy test kit! The news would be in the press before nightfall.
Luisa needed time and space to come to grips with the changes in her life. She’d go as soon as the coronation was over.
‘Of course I haven’t overdone it. I’m fit as ever.’
He placed his hands over hers. Instantly she froze. She hadn’t realised she’d been wringing them. His warmth flowed into her and for a moment her racing brain calmed. Perhaps after all she could—
‘You didn’t cross the site to say hello to the people on the far side of the block.’
Luisa drew a steadying breath. ‘We’d run out of time. I know you have a meeting and I’d already been there a while before you arrived.’
‘Still—’ his gaze pierced hers ‘—normally you make time for everyone.’
‘You wanted to see them?’ She’d been so eager to get away, to find quiet in which to think.
‘No, you’re right.’ He shook his head. ‘I’d run out of time. It just seemed … unlike you.’
Luisa flexed her fingers and instantly he released his grip and moved away.
Pain gripped her chest.
See? It wasn’t that he wanted to hold her. Except of course when they had sex. He was just making sure she was well enough to carry out her duties.
Raul’s meeting had been endless. Time and again he’d caught himself staring at his watch, calculating how long before he could get away.
He should be pleased. All was set for the coronation next week and negotiations with formerly difficult local leaders had proved fruitful.
Yet he couldn’t concentrate. Luisa had seemed strained earlier this afternoon. This morning he’d woken to find she’d slipped from his bed again. What had begun as an occasional irritation was now a worrying habit.
He felt unsettled when she wasn’t there. He liked waking with her. Not only for the physical satisfaction of early morning sex. But because she made him feel good. Relaxed. Content.
Strange, when in the past he’d preferred to sleep alone. But so many things about his marriage were unusual.
Like the way he watched Luisa. She was vibrant and attractive, though not as gorgeous as some women he’d known. Yet he found himself watching her all the time, smiling when she smiled, enjoying her interactions with others and her combination of spunk and intelligence during their own discussions.
Though there hadn’t been many of those lately. His fingers tightened on the neck of the chilled champagne bottle. Tonight would be different.
He put his head in the outer office before leaving for the private apartments.
‘Clear my calendar for the fortnight after the coronation, can you?’ He was deter
mined to spend time alone with Luisa. Now things were stable he’d take time off and give her a honeymoon they’d both enjoy.
He couldn’t think of anything he enjoyed more than being with his wife.
‘Yes, sir.’ The junior secretary took a note.
‘Don’t book anything else in my wife’s diary either. I’ll talk to her about clearing her dates as well.’
He smiled. A couple of weeks at his secluded lakeside retreat. It would be beautiful at this time of year. Luisa would love it and they could be alone.
‘I’m sorry, sir.’ The girl frowned. ‘The princess is booked on a flight the day after the coronation.’
‘A flight? It must be a mistake.’
‘No, sir. I organised it myself just hours ago.’
Raul felt a curious hollow sensation deep in his chest. He strode to the computer.
‘Show me.’
Silently she found the booking then turned the screen towards him. A flight to Sydney, no stopovers. No return.
The void in Raul’s chest expanded and the breath seared from his lungs.
‘Was there a call from Australia?’ It might be sickness in the family. Luisa was close to her aunt and uncle.
But she hadn’t mentioned it to him.
‘Not that I know of, Your Highness.’
She bit her lip and Raul realised he was looming over her, glowering. He took a step back and forced a smile.
‘That’s fine. I’ll talk to her about it myself.’ He turned on his heel. A sixth sense chilled his flesh.
A one-way ticket to Sydney. Alone.
He forced down the instant thought that she’d had enough. That Luisa couldn’t stand it here, had never forgiven him for bringing her to Maritz and planned to leave for good. Leave him.
His skin prickled and he lengthened his stride.
There would be an explanation. Yet his belly was a hard twist of tension as he headed for the royal apartments.
Raul tapped on the door of her suite and waited.
Strange. According to the secretary, Luisa had come here an hour ago to rest.
He knocked again and turned the handle. Perhaps she’d fallen asleep on the bed. Despite his concern, Raul’s mouth kicked up at the idea of Luisa, tousled and soft from sleep.
He stepped in and slammed to a stop.
Time splintered.
He stood frozen, bile rising as his numb mind absorbed details. Déjà vu smote him and he reeled.
Yet this was worse. Far worse. This was Luisa …
Luisa and Lukas.
This clearly was no business meeting but something far more intimate.
Luisa wore a tight tank top and flirty skirt, her hands curled round Lukas’ shoulders. Lukas, the man he would have trusted with his life! The man he’d trusted with Luisa.
Lukas held her close in his embrace, arms wrapped possessively round her slim form. Their blond heads were just a kiss apart.
Raul recalled his wife’s recent coolness, the way she left his bed and tried to distance herself. Had Raul been a coward, ignoring signs he didn’t want to see? Could Luisa have betrayed him as Ana had?
It felt as if someone had reached in and ripped his heart out.
Lukas had removed his jacket and tie. His collar was undone. Had Luisa done that? Had she used her nimble fingers to begin undressing him?
Roaring pain blasted Raul. It battered like a mountain avalanche till he could barely stand upright. It clamped his chest in a vice so tight he couldn’t draw breath.
An explosion of shattering glass at his feet roused him from sick shock. The couple before him whipped their heads round and noticed him.
Fiery colour washed Luisa’s face and her hands dropped. Lukas straightened and released her, adjusting his collar.
Raul’s brain filled with an image he couldn’t thrust away. Of Ana and his father, emerging from a state bedroom after his old man had taken Raul’s visitor on a personal tour. Ana had coloured and looked away. His father had stood straighter, fiddling with his cuffs.
The beginning of their betrayal.
Raul breathed deep. With an effort he cleared his whirling thoughts.
This was Luisa and Lukas. Not Ana and his father.
His heart thundered and adrenalin pumped in his blood, but sanity prevailed. He forced his stiff legs to move. Ignoring the churning in his belly, he prowled into the room.
Raul watched Luisa’s bright flush fade and her skin pale to bone-white.
‘Luisa.’ His voice sounded unfamiliar.
‘Your Highness.’ Lukas hurried into speech. ‘I know this must look—’
Raul slashed one silencing hand through the air. It was Luisa he needed to talk with.
‘But Your Highness … Raul …’
Raul swung round, focusing on his secretary. Through all the years they’d worked together Lukas had been a stickler for formality, refusing Raul’s suggestion more than once that in private Lukas call him by name.
Fear churned in Raul’s belly that Lukas should choose this moment to bridge that gap. To put them on equal footing.
Why? Because he and Luisa …?
No! Raul refused to let himself think it.
Yet, like a spectre, the possibility hovered in the recesses of his brain, waiting to swamp him in a moment of weakness.
‘Leave us, Lukas.’
His voice was harsh with shock and a fear greater than anything he’d known.
Still Lukas didn’t move, but looked to Luisa who stood, fingers threading nervously before her.
‘Go, Lukas,’ she whispered. ‘It will be all right.’
Finally, with lagging steps he left. Raul heard the door click quietly behind him. Yet still Luisa didn’t meet his eyes.
Anxiety stretched each nerve to breaking point. He clenched his hands, forcing himself to wait till she was ready to talk.
‘It’s not what you think.’
‘You don’t know what I’m thinking.’ At this moment rational thought was almost beyond him. He was a mass of churning emotions. Only the voice that told him over and over that Luisa was different, was his, kept him sane.
She lifted her head and met his gaze and the familiar sizzle in his veins eased a fraction of the desperate tension in his body.
This was his Luisa. He refused to believe the worst.
‘Aren’t you going to ask about Lukas?’
‘I know you’ll tell me.’ He just prayed he was man enough to hear the truth.
She paced away, her steps short, her eyes averted as if she couldn’t bear to look at him. Fear knotted his brain.
‘He was helping me.’
‘Go on.’
‘He was teaching me to dance.’
‘Sorry?’ Raul stared, flummoxed by the unexpected response.
‘Teaching me to waltz, ready for the coronation ball.’ Luisa flashed him a challenging look. ‘At home our local dance was a disco in the school hall and I never learnt anything formal.’ She looked at a point over his shoulder. ‘It didn’t matter at our wedding because the country was in mourning and there was no dancing at the reception, but this time …’ She shrugged stiffly. ‘I didn’t want to disgrace you on your big day.’
Raul frowned. There was something so intimate about the idea of teaching Luisa to waltz. Holding her in his arms and showing her how to move her body with his.
‘You could have asked me.’ Surely that was the sort of thing husbands did? He’d have revelled in it.
What did it say about their marriage that she’d turned to his secretary to help her?
Colour washed her throat and her mouth pursed. ‘And make it obvious there was another simple thing I couldn’t do? You have no idea how hard it’s been to try to get everything right—the protocol and customs and language—and still I make so many mistakes. Besides—’ she drew a shaky breath ‘—it’s so basic. How embarrassing not even to know how to waltz.’
She blinked quickly and his heart compressed.
‘I don’t care if
you can’t dance.’ His voice was rough as he stepped closer.
‘But I do. I wanted …’ She chewed her lip.
‘You thought anyone would care about your dancing ability? That I’d care? That’s absurd!’ Not after they’d shared so much. More than he’d shared with any other woman.
‘Absurd?’ She shook her head and spun away to pace the room again.
Raul wanted to tug her into his arms but the way she wrapped her arms round her torso and her strained expression told him this wasn’t the time.
‘What’s really absurd is marrying someone you don’t know. Giving yourself to someone who’ll never care for you. Can never care for you because he never got over the woman who hurt him years ago.’
Shock held Raul mute as her words lashed him. He couldn’t credit what he heard. Luisa believed he hadn’t got over Ana?
‘That’s not true!’
He reached for her, took her arm, but she shrugged out of his grasp.
Anguish lacerated him at her rejection.
‘Do you know how it feels knowing I wasn’t your first choice of wife, not even your second? That you married me because of who my grandfather was?’
She drew a huge shuddering sigh and Raul felt the full weight of regret bear down on him for all he’d done to this vibrant, special woman.
All through their relationship his needs had come first. She’d given him what he wanted, more than he’d ever dreamed possible, and all the time she’d suffered.
He’d known it, had felt pangs of guilt but never before had he truly faced the full magnitude of Luisa’s distress and loss. He’d conned himself into believing she’d begun to feel some of the pleasure he did in their union, shared some of his hopes for the future.
Reality hit him like a sledgehammer to the heart.
Raul shoved trembling hands into his pockets rather than reach for her. Clearly she didn’t want his touch. The knowledge burned like acid.
‘Is that why you’ve booked a flight to Sydney next week?’
Luisa’s mouth gaped then shut with a snap. ‘You know about that?’
‘I just found out.’ He waited. When she remained silent he prompted, hoping against hope there was another reason for her trip. ‘Is there a family emergency?’