‘Thanks, Ellen.’ She would not have relished the task of delivering the news, but Jess wished the girl had learned the truth in a more gentle and caring way. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’
The woman smiled. ‘If anyone can help her, love, it’s you.’
Jess hoped so. After Ellen had gone, she drew in a breath, hoping to find the right things to say in an impossible situation. Tapping on the door, she opened it and stepped inside. A junior nurse sat awkwardly near the sobbing girl, and jumped to her feet, clearly glad to leave.
Once they were alone, Jess pulled a chair closer and sat opposite the plump form huddled on the two-seater sofa. With her face buried in her hands, a curtain of straight, corn-coloured blonde hair swung forward, hiding her face from view. A cooling cup of tea remained untouched on the table beside her.
‘Hello. I’m Jess Carmichael. I’ve come to see if there’s anything I can help you with.’ Jess waited for some kind of response or acknowledgement of her presence. ‘I’m very sorry to hear about the accident.’
Slowly the girl looked up, her hands dropping away from her face and falling to her lap. Jess barely managed to smother a shocked gasp as she discovered how terribly young she was… no more than sixteen. Grey eyes were awash with tears, leaving no doubt at the depth of her devastation.
‘They won’t let me see him,’ she murmured. ‘Is it because I’m not officially family?’
Jess hesitated, unsure how to explain without causing further upset. ‘It’s a difficult decision. I’d urge you to think carefully, because once it’s done, it can’t be undone. They advised you against seeing Colin because of the nature of his injuries,’ she continued, deciding it was important to tell the truth, even as the words caused the girl to flinch. ‘Wouldn’t you rather your last memory of him was a good one? What would he want for you?’
‘Colin wouldn’t want me to do it,’ she admitted, a frown creasing her brow.
‘There’s no hurry to make a decision, so have a think about it.’
‘OK.’
Jess hoped she would decide not to see him. ‘Is there someone I can call for you? Your parents, maybe?’
‘No!’ The denial was instant and accompanied by a vigorous shake of her head. ‘I can’t.’ Taking a tissue from the box on the table, she blew her nose. ‘No one knows about Colin and me.’
Jess let it go for now, not wanting to pressure the girl or distress her further, hoping instead to build rapport and a level of trust that would enable her to help if she could.
‘Can you tell me your name?’
The girl fiddled nervously with the chain around her neck, suddenly clutching it before tucking it inside her blouse and doing up the top button, as if to hide it. Before Jess could consider the odd behaviour, the girl shifted nervously, her gaze darting around the room.
‘Marcia Johns,’ she finally offered, barely above a whisper.
‘Thank you, Marcia.’ Jess smiled, accepting the name, even though she was unsure at this point whether or not it was genuine. ‘Would you like to talk about Colin?’
A firm nod greeted the suggestion, and although tears shimmered in her eyes, a wobbly smile curved her mouth, revealing how pretty she could be. ‘Yes, please. Is that OK?’
‘Of course. I’d like to hear about him. When did you meet?’
‘Over a year ago when I started my summer job,’ she explained. ‘Colin worked nearby. He was three years older than me, and never in a million years did I imagine him noticing me. Tall and handsome, with dark hair and blue eyes and a gorgeous smile, he was the one all the girls wanted. I’m shy and overweight and always fade into the background,’ Marcia continued, revealing low self-esteem. She shook her head, as if in wonder, and gave a little laugh. ‘When Colin began spending time with me, I couldn’t believe it! There were all these thin, pretty girls chasing after him but he kept saying it was me he wanted, that he saw the real me inside. That I was kind and smart and funny, and he loved me the way I was.’
What a lovely young man, Jess thought, seeing how Marcia lit up talking about him. And what a terrible tragedy that his life had been cut so short. Sensing Marcia’s need to talk, she encouraged her to continue.
‘We were going to get married when I finished school and got a full-time job,’ she said, toying with the friendship ring that encircled the middle finger of her right hand, no doubt a gift from him, Jess thought. ‘His father died when he was twelve, and his mother when he was sixteen, so Colin had to look out for himself. He was much more responsible and steady than the boys I knew at school. There was never much money, but that didn’t matter. We spent all our time together, walking on the beach, having picnics, watching DVDs or listening to music at his flat, talking for hours. Talking about everything. For the first time I felt as if someone really knew me and understood me.’
‘Don’t you feel that at home?’ Jess probed, hoping to find out more about Marcia’s background.
‘Not really.’ She gave a casual shrug, but it obviously mattered to her. ‘We’re a big family. My parents are busy working and caring for us all, and my brothers and sisters are all outgoing and active, and so much more attractive than I am. They all have the family colouring. I got the eyes but my hair is dead straight and mousy blonde. I’m interested in books and music, not sports. I don’t understand them and they don’t understand me. I know they love me,’ she added, wiping away the twin tears that tracked down her rounded cheeks. ‘They just don’t see me. Everything is so hectic and noisy. I don’t think they notice whether I’m there or not.’
‘But Colin noticed.’
‘Yes. Yes, he did.’
Jess understood how special and important the young man must have made Marcia feel, boosting her confidence and setting her free from the shadow of her vibrant family. Marcia might be very young, but she had a sensible head on her shoulders and for her, her relationship with Colin had been a close and genuine one.
Marcia pulled her shoulder bag on to her lap and rummaged inside for a moment before producing a couple of photos and handing them across.
‘Thanks.’
Jess looked down at the first picture, seeing a very handsome young man dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket, wavy black hair brushing over the collar. The blue eyes were startling, full of intelligence, humour and kindness, his smile adding to the impression of warmth and friendliness. The second picture, of Marcia and Colin together, banished any lingering doubt about the full extent of this young girl’s relationship with Colin. No one seeing the two young people together could question their feelings. Their happiness and love shone out, and the expression of devotion on Colin’s face as he looked at a laughing Marcia brought a lump to Jess’s throat.
‘They’re lovely. Thank you for showing me,’ she murmured, handing the pictures back.
Marcia looked at them for several moments before tucking them carefully back in her bag. She sobbed, pressing a hand to her mouth, despair in her eyes.
‘What am I going to do?’ Rocking back and forth, tears flowed in earnest once more. ‘Colin was my whole life. I love him so much. And I need him. He can’t be gone. He can’t. It isn’t fair. Oh, God… Why? Why has this happened? What’s the point in anything if Colin isn’t with me?’
As she tried to comfort the girl, Jess wished she had answers to explain the cruel and senseless loss of a life. Fresh anger built within her at the driver who had thoughtlessly climbed behind the wheel of his car, his selfish actions shattering two young lives. He should be made to see Colin’s lifeless, damaged body, and witness the terrible grief Marcia was suffering. What words could she possibly offer the girl that didn’t sound trite?
A knock at the door announced the arrival of Ellen and provided a welcome distraction. ‘May I come in?’
As Marcia nodded and mopped her tears, Jess met the kindly nurse’s gaze, seeing the sympathy and sorrow in her eyes.
‘I have Colin’s things for you, love,’ Ellen said, setting a black leather jacket on the
seat beside Marcia, the same jacket Colin had worn in the photos.
Marcia drew the jacket into her arms, closing her eyes and burying her face in the wear-worn leather. ‘I saved up for ages to buy this for his birthday. It smells of him,’ she whispered, clutching the familiar garment more tightly to her and rubbing one cheek against it.
A lump in her throat, Jess exchanged a glance with Ellen. Maybe having Colin’s jacket would bring Marcia some comfort and familiarity in the difficult times ahead.
‘Here are the photographs and the other things Colin had with him,’ Ellen said, holding over a large padded envelope.
Refusing to let go of the jacket, Marcia took the envelope with her free hand. ‘Thank you, it means a lot. And thanks for being so kind to me.’
‘You’re welcome, my love.’ Suppressed emotion made Ellen’s voice huskier than normal. ‘I’m so sorry.’
After Ellen had left them alone once more, Jess allowed Marcia some quiet time. While she waited, she took a page from her notebook and jotted down some information for the girl to take away with her.
‘I don’t like to think of you going home alone, Marcia. You’ve had a horrible shock. Are you sure I can’t call your parents? Or I could arrange for someone here to take you home,’ Jess suggested, willing to drive her there herself, but Marcia was withdrawing and shaking her head.
‘No. No, I don’t want that.’ She took another tissue and mopped her eyes. ‘Thank you. I’ll be all right.’
Jess didn’t believe it for a moment, but she couldn’t force her and she didn’t want to break the tentative trust between them. All she could do was encourage Marcia to keep in touch.
‘You can contact me here at any time, Marcia,’ she told her, adding another telephone number to the list. ‘I’ve also given the details for the Samaritans. If you need to talk to anyone in confidence, day or night, you can call them. I volunteer once a week, usually on Friday evenings, but you can talk freely to anyone.’ ‘OK.’
Jess was relieved as Marcia took the sheet of paper, looked it over, and then tucked it into her bag, suggesting she might actually use it and not toss it into the first litter bin she came across.
‘I’d really like to know how you are. And if there’s anything I can do…’ She let the words trail off, not wanting to nag.
The sound of her pager intruded. Smothering her frustration, Jess checked the display before glancing around the room and discovering there was no telephone.
‘I’ve taken up too much of your time,’ Marcia murmured, beginning to gather her things together.
‘No, no, it’s fine, honestly.’ Jess smiled and told a white lie. ‘I’m not in a hurry. I just have to reply to this. If you don’t mind waiting, I’ll just pop into the next door room to use the phone. I’ll be back in a jiffy.’
Jess found a phone and made the call. She doubted she’d been gone more than a minute, but by the time she returned, Marcia had gone.
‘Damn it!’
Upset, she rushed down the corridor and back into the busy casualty department, asking a couple of nurses and the clerks at the desk if they had seen Marcia come though, but no one had noticed her. Not even the security guard by the main doors. It brought back Marcia’s own words.she faded into the background and no one saw her.
Cursing the appalling timing of the interruption, Jess went outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of Marcia, but it was hopeless. The sense of disappointment was huge. She couldn’t bear to think of Marcia alone with her grief, unable and unwilling to seek the comfort of a family who loved her but seldom had time for her.
An image of Marcia and Colin before the tragedy, so happy and in love, fixed itself in her mind. Why did awful things happen? She could make no sense of the cruelty that had befallen two lovely young people. She swallowed, blinking back tears.
‘Jessica, are you all right?’
Gio’s voice behind her had her spinning round in surprise. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I was in A and E and saw you run outside.’ The expression in his blue eyes, so warm and intimate, robbed her of breath and held her captive as he raised a hand and with exquisite gentleness removed a salty bead of moisture suspended from her lashes, his fingers brushing her cheek. His voice turned even huskier. ‘I was worried about you.’
Everything in her screamed at her to lean into his touch, craving what she had denied herself for so long, but reality intruded, the instinct for self-preservation ingrained. She jerked back, feeling the colour staining her cheeks as Gio regarded her in silence, speculation, concern and a frightening resolve in his eyes.
‘Tell me what’s wrong,’ he invited as they headed back to the hospital.
Sighing, Jess gave him a brief summary of what had happened, unable to prevent her emotion from showing. ‘It was just awful.’
‘I’m sorry.’ He shook his head, murmuring what sounded like a curse in Italian. ‘Josh was talking about the accident in the canteen.’
Back in the room where she had spoken with Marcia, Gio remained with her, increasing her sense of awareness. ‘I feel as if I failed her,’ she admitted.
‘Of course you didn’t,’ he chided gently.
‘I don’t know.’ With another sigh, she gathered up her things. ‘I’m even more sure now that Marcia Johns is not her real name.’
‘Definitely not.’
The edge of amusement in Gio’s voice had her head snapping up. There was nothing remotely funny about the situation. But before she could remonstrate with him, he shook his head and pointed to something behind her. She turned round, noticing for the first time the information posters on one wall of the room.
The ‘infomercials’ were sponsored by well-known drug companies and ‘Marcia’ had been clever enough, despite her distress, to cobble together a false name on the spur of the moment, using parts of two words from the company name emblazoned in large letters on one of the posters. Jess cursed herself for having been so thoroughly duped. She was also disappointed that the girl had felt the need to deceive her.
‘She had her reasons, and I’m sure they were personal to her and nothing to do with you.’
Jess knew Gio’s words were offered by way of consolation, but they did little to ease her upset and concern. ‘Marcia’ would remain in her thoughts and she would worry about her unless and until she had any further news of her. She could only hope that at some point the girl would use one of the contact numbers she had given her and get in touch.
‘I know how much you care,’ Gio said now, scarily attuned to her thoughts. ‘You would not be so good at your job if you didn’t, but you cannot carry the burden of everyone’s problems on your shoulders, Jessica.’ He stood in front of her, tipping her chin up with one finger until her gaze met his. ‘Who is there for you?’
She felt branded by the contact and once more she stepped back to break it, resisting the urge to press her free hand to the spot that still tingled from the soft touch of his fingertip. This was ridiculous! She needed to give herself a stern talking to. Squaring her shoulders, she headed for the door.
‘I’m fine,’ she told him, injecting as much firmness into her voice as possible.
‘You are here at all hours, taking on the burden of everyone else’s problems,’ he continued, refusing to let it go. ‘Who listens to yours?’
Frightened that his perceptiveness and caring were chipping away at the defences that had protected her these last four years, she laughed off his question and repeated the words she used as a mantra to convince others.andherself. ‘I’mfine!’
He took her by surprise?again?politely opening the door for her and following her out. So grateful was she that he had let the subject drop, she was not adequately on her guard.
‘Where are you going now?’ he asked.
‘Hmm…’ Jess frowned, trying to remember what had been on her agenda before the call had come in for her to attend A and E.
‘If you have a few minutes to stop off at my office, I have some things t
o discuss with you.’
Although she would sooner have parted company there and then so she had time to re-erect her barriers against him, she was relieved he had focused back on work matters. Cursing her weakness and the voice in her head that tormented her about her vulnerability to this man, Jess found herself assenting to his request.
‘All right.’
‘Thank you.’
His smile of satisfaction made her uneasy. What had she agreed to? And why did she feel he’d set her up and she’d fallen for it—as she feared she had for him—hook, line and sinker?
CHAPTER FIVE
‘COME this way.’
Jess found herself ushered into Gio’s office, his hand at the small of her back sending a charge of electricity zinging through her. He had a disturbing habit of touching her. As he closed the door, Jess took the opportunity to put some much-needed distance between them. The room was by no means small but, confined in it with Gio, it seemed claustrophobic and she felt an urgent need for the comfort of her own personal space.
‘What I am about to reveal to you is strictly confidential, Ms Carmichael. You do realise that?’ he asked, his expression sombre… but for a tell-tale glimmer of mischief in his tanzanite-blue eyes.
Jess had no idea whether he was serious, or whether he was toying with her. Why did just being in the same room with him make her feel so off kilter and peculiar? She didn’t like it. What she most wanted was to escape.
‘Jessica?’
She jumped, continually unnerved at the way he spoke her name, his husky, accented voice far too intimate and intoxicating. But it was the light touch of one finger on her forearm that brought her inbuilt flight response into action again as she stepped back, distracted by the way all her nerve-endings were fired into life. Startled, she met the intense blueness of his gaze, seeing the curiosity, knowledge and masculine appreciation that lurked in his eyes. She didn’t want anyone interested in her or asking questions about her, least of all this man who posed a unique and definite danger.
St Piran's: Italian Surgeon, Forbidden Bride Page 5