Any Way You Dream It

by Monique McDonell

  “Yes she does, darling.”

  “Well, I didn’t come from the right family either, CeCe and I suppose that’s part of why I’m nervous.”

  “I’ll give you some advice about that.” She took a dainty sip of tea. “You’re the only one who cares now. Everyone else will have moved on.”

  “Except for those people who literally haven’t moved on, left town, or changed a single thing in their lives in ten years.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about those people. Small lives, small minds, and all that.”

  That was easy to say. Of course I didn’t think every person who grew up and stayed in their hometown was small-minded, but some like Patty were. Then again, Patty would have been just as judgmental living on 5th Avenue, maybe more so.

  I drove back to Boston in some crazy bumper-to-bumper peak-hour traffic. It gave me plenty of time to think about things. It felt like I had a lot more to think about now with Chase in my life than I had previously.

  There were a lot of ticks to put in the Good Column on Chase’s tally sheet. He had fixed my car; it was running a lot better than before, and he’d done it himself. Sure, he liked cars, but he liked lots of things, and he hadn’t had to do it for me. And even though he had offered to come to my reunion and help me prove my worth to everyone, he didn’t have to keep making excuses to hang out with me. I could have filled in a pop quiz or emailed him my particulars. No, Chase was a good guy.

  But he was also an odd guy. Maybe someone couldn’t grow up with all that he had and not be odd, but it seemed to me that, behind the steel gates, something wasn’t entirely right in that castle at Marblehead and I was curious now to get to the bottom of it.

  Thursday dawned with no Chase in sight. It felt like I’d spent every waking moment with the guy for the last week and now he was gone. I found myself wanting to tell him stuff, expecting to trip over his big feet in the commercial kitchen.

  I hadn’t expected to miss him. I thought I would be glad for the break.

  Thankfully, we were really busy and the day flew by. The franchising company was coming in within a few weeks to get the project off the ground. I was both excited and terrified by the prospect.

  “It’s going to be fine, Lucy,” Piper assured me as we sat down with mounds of papers before us to have a working lunch. “It’s not as if they’ll have a hundred pie trucks up around the country next month. We have to set up the model and get buyers. It will be a slow build.”

  I wasn’t so sure. Food trucks were big, and our model was relatively simple, which was why the two of us had been able to manage it so well with so little staff. Still, we would have to cross that bridge when we came to it.

  “Well you guys should definitely squeeze in a honeymoon between now and then because I don’t think there’ll be too much vacation time for a while,” I reminded her.

  She was chewing on the end of her pen. “You’re right. We should do a long weekend somewhere at least. Good thinking.”

  We reverted to work, but it reminded me that I hadn’t had a vacation in like, well, forever. It wasn’t that I couldn’t take a vacation I just never did. Maybe I should think about that for Christmas. Sure it was months away, but it didn’t look like I’d be spending it with Minnie and the kids like I usually did. Maybe I could ask Chase about a good place to spend Christmas. He’d spent enough time travelling to have some good tips.

  There he was again, back in my head. Dammit. Chase was not a real part of my life. When this charade was over in a week, he’d be long gone and I would be alone again. I needed to remind myself that and not get too attached to him or the idea of him.

  When work ended I decided to go somewhere I hadn’t been a while. The Hole was my favorite donut joint. My brother-in-law, Joe, and I used to go there right up until he could no longer leave the house. After that, I’d get us each some donuts and coffee and bring them home for him. It was our place. I still went every now and then, but it made me sad to be there without him.

  Most of the time, I accepted that he was gone. Joe had been my brother-in-law, but he’d also been my savior and my greatest cheerleader. I hadn’t had too many of those in my life—well not ones who stuck around, not that Joe could help that.

  The Hole was located on a corner. It was an old style, 1950’s donut shop, a study in linoleum and Formica. They served one kind of coffee, no decaf, and no soy milk. They also served over fifty types of donuts. I ordered myself a Devil’s Food cake and a coffee, and sat at the counter.

  “Hi there, honey,” Mandy said from behind the counter, pouring me a cup. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  I wasn’t sure how old Mandy was, somewhere between sixty and a hundred. Her nails were blood red, her hair was jet-black, and her breasts were overflowing. She looked like an overweight elderly Elvira.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “You must be a busy girl.”

  “Or I’m a coward. Too many memories here.”

  “That’s not cowardly. Joe wouldn’t have wanted you sitting at this counter moping. “

  “That’s true.”

  “How’re the kids?”

  “They’re all right I guess, soldiering on.”

  “I know their mom is struggling. Can I give you some advice?”

  “Shoot.” She was always giving people advice. She always asked, but it wasn’t really a question. The advice would come free with the coffee.

  “Those kids are lucky to have you, but they’re not your job, honey. I know you are taking on too much of the burden there. Be sure to remember to make sure you get some of the things you want, too, Lucy.”

  She was right, but if the kids didn’t have me, who did they have?

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “You do that.” She gave my hand a motherly pat.

  Sitting at that counter, I felt about as alone as I ever had—and I’d been alone plenty of times before. I was worried about those kids; I was starting a big job, and I was missing my pretend boyfriend.

  I was a white hot mess.

  Chapter 10

  “So do you want to tell me about the guy we’re trying to piss off at the reunion?”

  “It’s not about a guy…” We were alone in the kitchen. Piper was off on site at one of the pie trucks. I was putting the last batch of pies together and into the oven. A van would be here to collect them in half an hour.

  Then I was going to have a nice long shower and Chase was taking me on a double date with Aaron and Piper. Sure, our relationship wasn’t real, but I hadn’t been out with a couple as part of a couple in, well, forever, so I was really looking forward to it.

  He arched his brow. “You expect me to believe that?”

  “I do.” I rolled out a large rectangle of pastry. “It’s not so much about him as his wife.”

  “She stole him from you?”

  “Yep, right out from under my nose.” I let out a sigh I’d been holding in since Patty had called about the reunion. “I still don’t know if she stole him because she liked him or because she disliked me so much.”

  “Probably both.

  Were you friends?”

  “I thought we were, but, in retrospect we were actually frenemies.You know, friends who are enemies.”

  “Girl thing.”

  “Exactly. I mean. We were kind of competitive, but it was a small town and we were both high achievers. Patty assisted by privilege and me through hard work.”

  “So she stole your boyfriend and married him in a show of ultimate victory.”

  “Yeah,” I placed the pastry circles I’d been cutting into the individual pie dishes. “But seriously, what kind of a guy was he to begin with if he allowed himself to be taken? And what sort of a fool was I not to see that? I thought it was love.”

  “I hate that, young love with all its freaking drama?”

  “Have you ever been in love?”

  “We’re talking about you. I’m getting all the background info...”

  “You,
Manhattan, are avoiding the question,” I carried a large pot of peach pie filling to my work space and began to scoop it into the pie shells.

  “That I am.” He was smiling that cheeky smile of his. “That smells amazing.”

  “I know. I never get sick of some of the scents here.”

  “Pretty soon you’ll be operations manager and not quite so hands-on.” He looked around the kitchen. “All of which will sound really good at the reunion. So you’ll have a great career, a fiancé… You’ll look like you’re doing really well for yourself. And the idiot’s wife can go eat crow, and the idiot can see that he really missed out, right?”

  “Exactly. I want them to realize that I didn’t need them, their hokey town or their narrow-minded opinions, and they can kiss my—”

  “Aunt Lucy?”

  I looked up to see my nieces and nephews in the doorway.

  Katie scrunched her lips to the side, her eyes darting between me and Chase. “I hope its okay we stopped by.”

  “Of course it is.” I wiped my hands on my apron as I headed toward them. “Isn’t it a bit early for school to be over?”

  “Early dismissal.” Sophie wrapped her arms around my waist. “Smells really good in here. I’ve missed you and your pies.”

  “Me, too,” Oliver said, his arms grabbing me from the other direction. Katie stayed in the doorway, sizing up Chase.

  “I’ve missed you guys, too. Kids, this is Chase.”

  “Do you work here?” Katie crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.

  “I’m a friend of Lucy and Piper, and I’m writing a story about the business for a magazine,” he said.

  “Oh.”

  The others hardly gave him a look.

  “Have you guys had lunch?” All three heads shook in unison. “What type do you want today then?”

  They chose their usual favorites. I could have picked for them, but they enjoyed the power of choosing and the illusion that they weren’t so easy to read.

  We headed upstairs to eat. “I lived with them ’til last week, they’re a bit fragile. Be sensitive,” I warned Chase as they led the way up.

  I knew he had more questions—this day just felt like one, long inquisition—but he didn’t ask them within the kids’ hearing, for which I was grateful.

  I was also grateful not to have to answer any more questions for a while. These three were part of my backstory I’d avoided sharing with him ’til now. The truth was, I didn’t really care that my dad had left me, and I was over Jacob, but I did care that my sister had thrown me out of her kid’s lives. I felt like I was abandoning them the way I’d been abandoned.

  “This is awesome.” Oliver said, taking in my new place.

  “I like your apartment,” Sophie said. “It looks like the ones on television.”

  “Maybe we could stay here with you,” Katie looked hopeful. “I don’t think your mom would like that,” I headed to the fridge.

  “She wouldn’t even notice with Earl there,” Katie informed me.

  “He’s still around, huh?” I tried to be nonchalant, but I didn’t like Earl, and I was hoping my sister would have wised up by now

  “Yep, and I don’t think he has any intention of leaving.”

  “He smells,” said Oliver. “He’s loud and he never says please or thank you.”

  “Well, that is very bad manners.” I poured them each a tall glass of milk.

  Chase was off to the side, leaning against the kitchen counter, surveying the scene. He was smart enough to let the kids do the talking.

  “Yeah, and he eats all the food and there’s never any left,” said Sophie.

  I gave Katie a long look and she nodded. So this guy was a mooch and my sister was neglecting the kids for him. Terrific.

  “Does your mom know you’re here?” They all shook their heads.

  “I’ll text her to let her know.”

  I hadn’t spoken to Minnie since moving out, but she should know where her kids were. She also should know without me having to tell her, but one step at a time…

  I sent off the text while they chatted about their school days through mouths full of pie. I was going to tell them it was bad manners, but I had a feeling they were starving and their enthusiasm was endearing.

  My sister’s reply came back fast. “Good. I need a night off.”

  “They’re not staying,” I returned.

  “Yes, they are. And I’m switching this off.”

  Crap. I was supposed to be going out, not babysitting, but I couldn’t abandon the kids, even if my sister could. How had it come to this?

  “Chase, can I just have a word with you?”

  He followed me onto the landing so the kids were out of ear-shot.

  “My sister has decided to skip out on her parental duties tonight so that means the kids will be with me.”

  “No double date, huh?”

  “Sorry.”

  “I’ll call Aaron.” He didn’t bitch or moan. He didn’t carry–on.

  I liked that. Thanks for understanding. They’re kids. They need someone who doesn’t run out on them.” I wasn’t sure why that someone was me, but it was, and moaning about it wouldn’t change things.

  I went back into the apartment and let the kids know they were staying over.

  “That’s so cool, Aunt Lucy.” Katie gave me the first genuine smile I had seen from her since the day I’d moved out.

  “You say that now, but I’m not really set up for a slumber party, so we might have to make do with the blankets on the floor.”

  “We don’t mind.” The kids said together.

  I didn’t mind either. I missed their sweet faces, their constant chatter, and their sticky fingers. I’d lived with these kids for the past four years and I wasn’t used to being without them. I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to have my own, because, the truth was these guys were my kids. We were closer than a regular aunt and niece or nephew because I’d been there for every milestone every day.

  Chase came back into the room. “How do you kids feel about bowling?”

  Katie’s gaze narrowed, but the other two said they loved it.

  “Piper and Aaron suggested we all go to a fun new bowling and miniature golf place. We can eat pizza and hotdogs and have a blast. What do you say?”

  “Did you guys have a date planned?” Katie was not missing a thing.

  “Aaron and Chase are friends from college, and we were all going to hang out.” I said.

  “I called Cherie too. She’s in,”

  That sealed it. Katie loved Cherie. There was something about her big hair and brash ways that my shy niece found endlessly fascinating. I suspected she wanted to morph into Cherie when she turned eighteen.

  So I went downstairs with Chase and we left the kids watching TV. He helped me load pies on the trays, and after Marv came to collect them, I cleaned up the kitchen.

  “So, what’s the deal with your sister?” Chase asked.

  “Very. Long. Story.”

  “I think we only have time for the short one with those three kids upstairs. Like the one that tells me how I’m supposed to behave around them.”

  My heart swelled as I looked at him. He didn’t ask to be nosy or for our ruse; he asked because of the kids.

  “Very short version: their dad died. I’ve been living with them. My sister is struggling to cope. She’s finding solace in men and booze; she is her mother’s daughter, unfortunately. And she threw me out last week.”

  “For?”

  “Not minding my own business.”

  “Ah.” He scraped his jaw and looked at me through narrowed eyes. So your dad running off with a trapeze artist wasn’t really a fun story for you, after all? I mean I knew it wasn’t…I shouldn’t have made light of it.”

  “No. The beginning of a very unhappy tale.” I sighed. “So these kids aren’t too thrilled with boyfriends or men in general right now. Most of it, unfortunately, has to do with the ones they’re meeting.”

  “And
they really miss you.”

  “Yep. And that’s mutual.”

  “Aunt Lucy?” Sophie said from the top of the stairs.

  “Be right up.” I shoved the dishtowel into the laundry bin. “I have to go.”

  “True. Okay, so I’ll be back to get all of you at five.”

  “You’re not staying?”

  He shook his head. “You guys need space.”

  He left and I headed upstairs to spend time with my three favorite people to see what I could do to help them.

  Turned out, watching bad TV and making popcorn was really all that was needed, at least for the moment.

  And so it was that, instead of a double date, Chase and I found ourselves at a bowling alley in a small amusement park that also had mini-golf and old-fashioned arcade games. I wondered what Chase thought, but when I looked at him, every single time he had a huge smile plastered on his face despite the fact that he was probably the worst bowler on the planet.

  “Have you ever bowled before, Chase?” Cherie asked after he sent off another gutter ball.

  “Nope, never. This is fun!”

  “How is that even possible?” Cherie asked me.

  I had a feeling that, unless his prep school had had a bowling alley, he wouldn’t have had a chance.

  “It just is. Don’t worry. I’ve played a lot of golf. I’m sure I’ll come back fighting at mini-golf.” Chase nudged me with his shoulder.

  “I’ll show you if you’re not sure of the rules,” my nephew Oliver said, his face all serious.

  “Thanks buddy.” Chase said resting his hand briefly on the boy’s shoulder. “I appreciate that. If your golf game is anything like your bowling, then I bet your advice is solid.”

  At that moment, I had feelings for Chase that went beyond gratitude and friendship.

  “He’s good with kids,” Piper said as she passed to take her turn bowling.

  “Really good,” Cherie whispered in my other ear.

  “So?” I said trying to sound haughty.

  “So, you like him and you like that he’s good with kids...” Cherie added. “You’re looking at him with some serious admiration, my friend.”

  “I’m really happy this evening is going well since it’s not what we had planned.”