by Ali Parker
“I hope I don’t have to leave,” Abi sighed. “But I can’t live off love alone.”
“I’ll take care of you,” I said simply, tightening my grip on her.
Abi frowned. “Not to be a jerk, but you’re unemployed, remember? I know you said you have money saved up, but that’s not going to last forever either.”
“Ted will come around,” I said, confidently. As much as I didn’t want to go crawling back to my brother begging for forgiveness, it would be worth it if it meant getting to keep Abi around.
Abi’s brow furrowed. “Are you proposing?”
I blinked in surprise. “Proposing?” I echoed. “I don’t think we’re to that step just yet.” I paused. “Things are great, and I really like you, but we probably need to know one another a little better before we start talking about marriage. But we could live together. Help each other out.”
Abi shook her head. “You agree that we don’t know one another well enough yet, but you’re still ready to move in together and support me?” she asked, incredulously.
“If it means that I get to keep you here, then yeah,” I said, not sure what the problem was.
“I can’t let you do that,” Abi said, shaking her head again. “It’s too soon for all of that.”
“You like me, don’t you?” I asked her. “And you like being here. If I can help you stay here until you get your feet back under you, then I’ll do it.”
“I appreciate that,” Abi said, and I could tell she meant it. “But I’m not ready for all of that yet.” She paused, gnawing on her lower lip. “I don’t even know if I’m ready to tell my family about us yet. I just have to get used to all of this first, before we start adding in even more. I just need a little time.”
“That’s fair,” I agreed. “But we don’t have much time—that’s what I’m worried about. You keep talking about going to North Carolina. And of course, I’d like to say that I’d come to visit you and that nothing would change between us. But we both know that things would change, they’d have to. Talking through a phone just isn’t the same.”
“I know,” Abi said quietly, looking like she might cry. She got up, putting on the rest of her clothes.
“Abi,” I sighed, going to her and pulling her into my arms.
She let me hold her for a minute, leaning into me. Then, she gathered herself and pulled away, giving me a small smile. “Let’s just take a little time,” she suggested. “A lot can change over the next month.”
I nodded at her, watching as she beat an escape. Then, I sighed and went back to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and rubbing a hand over my face.
Was she right? Was I asking for too much?
If so, I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t seem to quit picturing a future with her. She was smart, she was sexy, and she was so incredibly driven. She was willing to take risks, and she was willing to do anything when it came to helping her family. I had to admire her.
Did I love her? I had never loved a woman before, so I didn’t know if that was what I was feeling. I wanted to help Abi, though, in any way I could. I wanted to cheer her up, to make her smile. To bring her pleasure both in bed and otherwise. We hadn’t known one another for more than a few weeks, but I already had a hard time picturing my life without her.
What would I do if she headed back to North Carolina? I didn’t think it would be so easy to move on to someone else. Every time I went into Kinsey’s, I’d be reminded of her absence. I knew instinctively that I’d be distracted as I tried to work on the ranch. I’d wonder what she was up to. I’d want to share all the little details of my day with her.
Maybe that was love. It certainly was something that I’d never felt before.
Like Abi had said, it was too early to propose to her. Probably even too early for us to move in with one another. But neither of those ideas were unpleasant to me. If it meant I could have Abi, if it was the only way that I could keep her, then maybe it was something to consider.
An image floated before my mind’s eye—Abi in a white dress, stained glass playing patterns over her skin as she walked slowly up the aisle of the church that we always attended on holidays. My breath caught as I pictured her there, impossibly beautiful and best of all, mine.
Letting the image fade from my mind, I stood up, stretching and getting dressed so I could head down to breakfast. If I was going to propose to her, I needed to do things right. Get her the kind of ring that she deserved and wait until the timing was correct. But the more I thought about marrying her, the less crazy the idea seemed.
Chapter 28
Abi
I punched on the radio as I cleaned up after breakfast. It was Thursday morning so there was a lot of chatter, random talk shows intended for people on their way to work. But it was nice to have the background noise as I scrubbed at the dishes. It distracted me from my thoughts.
Mason had been so sweet on Tuesday morning when we’d woken up together. But I couldn’t help putting a little distance between us that day as we’d worked together. It just felt like things were going too fast, and I needed them to slow down a little. But Mason must have gotten tired of dealing with me because now he was putting space between us, becoming increasingly standoffish.
Swallowing hard, I willed myself not to start crying right in the middle of the kitchen.
It was my own fault; I knew that. I was the one who had started putting space between us. But even though logically I knew I had done the right thing, this still hurt. I didn’t like the idea of losing him for good.
I could imagine what he was thinking, though. He was probably starting to think that I was too wishy-washy. That I would never commit to him. Maybe he was starting to think he would be better off with someone else.
I sure hoped that wasn’t the case. I hated the idea of him being with anyone else.
I wanted him, I just wanted things to slow down a little. I wasn’t ready to wake up next to him every morning, to spend every minute of every day with him, or to start planning a future with him. I needed time to come around to things like that. I hoped he understood and was just giving me a little space.
Just then, my phone rang, startling me into dropping a plate. It clattered loudly in the sink, but I was the only one to hear it. Gavin had volunteered to take Nana and Grampa for a drive that morning, just to get them out of the house for a little while. Meanwhile, Mason and Jeff were in the yard working on a few things for the zombie haunt.
I wiped my hands off on a dishrag as I looked to see who was calling. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Hey Cami,” I said, as I answered. Cami was my best friend back in North Carolina, and as busy as I’d been around the farm, it had been way too long since we’d had a chance for a quality talk.
“So you are still alive out there!” Cami teased.
I laughed. “I know, I’ve been horrible lately,” I said. “Sorry.”
“No problem. But it’s good to hear your voice,” Cami said. “How’s the farm coming along?”
I looked out the window, watching Mason haul bales of hay from the barn. “The harvest wasn’t looking very promising, so we’ve changed gears,” I told Cami. “We’re opening up as a harvest festival and zombie haunt and charging admission. Hopefully we’ll be able to attract a good crowd.”
“Ooh, that sounds like fun!” Cami said. “And right up your alley, too, with all that party planning that you’ve always wanted to do.”
“Yeah, fingers crossed,” I sighed.
“Uh oh, you sound a bit down,” Cami said, and I could picture her frowning on the other end of the line. “What happened? Whose ass do I have to kick?”
I laughed. “No one’s,” I told her. “I’m just a little worried about how this is all going to turn out.”
“Well, either way, I’ve managed to get a job lined up for you back here,” Cami said, sounding proud of herself.
“What?” I asked in surprise.
“That bakery that used to be down in the bottom o
f my building went out of business,” Cami explained. “I met the guy who bought it and he told me he’s actually bought out the bottom three floors of the building to expand Klein Designs.”
“Oh wow,” I said. Klein Designs was one of the biggest wedding and event planning companies on the eastern seaboard. They’d offered me a position after I’d finished college, but it had been in New York City and I’d quickly decided, after a visit there, that there was no way I was cut out to be a big city girl.
“I mentioned your name, and told him that you’d already been hired by them once, and he said he’d look into it. He called me back this morning to get your current contact information so he could formally offer you a position to start this winter!”
My legs felt shaky, and I fell down into a chair at the kitchen table. “Oh wow,” I repeated, hardly able to think of anything else to say. “Cami, that’s amazing.”
“I know,” she said, sounding proud of herself. “I’m not trying to force you to come back to North Carolina or anything, but it would be nice to have you close again.”
I laughed. “Really close,” I said. “In the same building and everything.”
“Yeah,” Cami said. “We could probably eat lunch together even!”
The whole idea of it was surreal. I could work in the field that I wanted to work in, with an incredible company, right back at home. If it had been offered to me a month ago, I would have leapt on it. But now, there was something about it that made me feel uncertain.
I went to the back door, staring out into the yard.
“You don’t seem very excited,” Cami said, slowly.
“I am,” I told her, but even I could hear the lack of enthusiasm in my voice. I sighed. “There’s a guy.”
It was Cami’s turn for an ‘oh wow’ moment. “Who is he? Is he some hot cowboy?”
“Kind of,” I said, laughing. “His name is Mason. He’s been helping me out with the harvest festival. It was actually his idea.”
“Does he know that you like him?” Cami asked.
“Yeah,” I coughed. “We slept together, actually.”
Cami shrieked. “You had sex and you didn’t call me right away to tell me?” she asked.
I grinned. “Sorry,” I said unapologetically.
“What’s he like?” Cami asked. “I want to know details.”
“He’s just a really great guy,” I said. “Caring, really family-oriented. And strong. He’s got muscles in places I never knew you could have muscles. But he’s so gentle with me. I don’t know, he’s just perfect.”
“He sounds like it,” Cami said. “He sounds like a dream come true.”
“He is,” I sighed. “But dreams turn to nightmares.”
“You don’t think he’d hurt you, do you?” Cami asked worriedly.
“Not on purpose,” I said. “But I’m not sure if I fit in with his family or with this small town. I really like him, but I can’t really picture a future with him. Or at least, not the future that I expected for myself.” I paused, “Can you picture me as a rancher’s wife? Cooking him three meals a day and minding the house?”
“Not really,” Cami said. “And I don’t suppose there’s much party-planning to do out there, is there?”
“Nope.” I shook my head. “To be honest, what’s really worrying me is how fast things are moving.”
“Did he tell you he loves you?” Cami asked sharply. “You’d better not say he has, because if I hear you’ve been holding out details like that, on top of the details about losing your virginity, I am going to fly right out there and drag you back home where I can keep an eye on you!”
I laughed. “No, he hasn’t told me that yet,” I said. But I frowned, chewing on my lower lip. “It’s kind of been implied, though. He keeps talking about how he’s trying to get me to stay here in Oklahoma with him. The other morning, he was talking about us moving in together.”
“And how long have you known this guy?” Cami asked.
“Just a few weeks,” I said.
“Wow. You’re right, that is fast.” Cami was silent for a moment. “But it sounds like you really like him. I hope that means your first time was special?”
“It was,” I said, unable to help the goofy, dreamy grin that spread over my face as I thought back to it. “You’re going to think it was so silly, though.”
“Tell me about it,” Cami demanded.
“It was like something out of some western romance movie or something,” I said. “Complete with the pickup truck.”
“You did say that he’s sort of a cowboy,” Cami pointed out. “That’s about what I’d expect.” She paused. “I just wouldn’t expect you as the heroine in some cheesy western romance!”
I laughed. “Neither would I,” I said. “But then again, we all know that I’ve never been a city girl.”
“Still, I pictured you ending up with some cute southern businessman,” Cami said. “Or maybe a musician; you were always more sensitive than me.”
“You just wanted me to end up with Colin Wesley so that I could get you tickets to all of his concerts,” I said, giggling. When Cami had found out that I’d had a college class with one of her favorite country artists, she’d talked for weeks about how I should ask him out. I’d finally let her convince me to go out on a date with him, and we’d rapidly realized that we had nothing in common. When Cami found out I wasn’t going to go on a second date with him, I’d thought she was never going to talk to me again!
“True,” Cami said. “But I’m glad you finally found someone you thought was worthy of you.”
“Mason’s really great,” I agreed.
“So this first time?” Cami prompted yet again.
I didn’t know how to describe to her how perfect it was. On the surface, it sounded so silly to say that he drove me out to a field and we had sex beneath the starlight. But in the moment, it had been so much more than that.
“You’re not going to tell me about it, are you?” Cami asked, sounding teasingly offended.
I laughed. “There’s not much to tell,” I told her. “I’m sure you know what it’s like to have sex.”
Cami sighed. “That’s not the point,” she said. “I want to know all the juicy details. What were you wearing? Who came first? All of that. And was it just sex, or are the two of you in a relationship?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “We’ve been talking about a relationship, of course. I just don’t know what to do,” I sighed. “I feel like I’m supposed to come back to North Carolina. But it’s going to be hard to leave Mason behind. I don’t want to start a relationship with him when I know that I’m just going to leave, but I hate the idea of him finding someone else.”
“Do you think he’s planning on finding someone else?” Cami asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “He seems pretty serious about me.” That was definitely an understatement. “But I know he played around a lot in the past. When I first got here, the whole town was abuzz because this one girl, Ella, was spreading all these rumors that she was pregnant with his baby.”
“Uh oh,” Cami said. “That doesn’t sound like the sort of thing that you want to get yourself mixed up in.”
“Definitely not,” I said, shaking my head. “And I told Mason that. But it was just so hard to keep away from him.”
“That sexy, hmm?” Cami asked, knowingly.
I laughed. “Sexy, for sure,” I agreed. “And we just kept running into one another. The more I saw him, the more I liked him, and—you know how it goes.”
“Are you being careful?” Cami asked.
“You mean making sure I don’t actually get pregnant with his kid?” I asked. “Yes, Mom, we’re being careful. Using condoms, and I’m still on birth control.”
Cami laughed. “That’s good to hear, but that’s not what I meant,” she said. “It just sounds like you’re getting in pretty deep. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
As we talked, I watched Mason cut some boards in the sh
ade of the barn. He was working to build the refreshment stands that we’d use at the festival. He had drawn up his own plans for how to construct them, and now he was just doing it. That sort of ability to work with his hands just amazed me in some ways. He was so different from the kinds of guys that I had always known. Creative, but in a practical way. I was drawn to it in ways I never would have expected.
“I keep trying to slow things down,” I told Cami. “But my body seems to have other ideas.”
“I know that all too well,” Cami sighed. “But he knows you’re planning on coming back to North Carolina, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve been telling him that right from the start,” I told her. I decided not to tell her about his plans to try to get me to stay. As much as I liked entertaining the idea of staying around here with Mason, living out my life in this picture of domestic bliss, I knew that things probably wouldn’t turn out that way. No sense having Cami worry about me when I knew that it was 99% likely that I’d be right back to North Carolina as planned at the end of this season.
“Well, with the new job here, at least you’ll have plenty to take your mind off things,” Cami reminded me. “And I’ll be here waiting for you. I haven’t been to Begnetti’s since you left.”
I groaned. “Oh my God, Begnetti’s. I could so go for ice cream right now.”
Cami laughed. “You’ll just have to hurry on back then,” she said.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “So what about you, any guys in your life? You’re not dating my future boss, are you?”
Cami giggled. “Nope,” she promised. “As soon as I found out who he was, I knew I had to keep my hands off him. He is pretty attractive, though. Not a well-muscled cowboy, but I think you’d like him.”
“You’re already planning on setting me up?” I asked. “With my future boss?”
“I just thought that maybe you’d like a reminder that not all the hot guys in this world come from Oklahoma,” Cami said. “Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with dating your boss, unless it says in your contract that you can’t.”