They were both quiet, and I took another drink. “The thing is,” I finally burst out. “I could maybe understand that, you know? Freaking out and not knowing how to tell someone bad news like that. But to wait a whole week!”
“It’s inexcusable,” Emily agreed. “So how did you leave it?”
I thought of our fight, my stomach dropping at the memory. “I left him,” I said quietly. “I told him this was the last straw. If he couldn’t be bothered to make me a real part of his life, I wasn’t interested in trying to work through the betrayal.”
“Wow,” Emily said, watching my face. “That must have been really hard.”
I shrugged and took another sip of my beer. “He didn’t ask me to stay, so I guess that showed me how he feels.” I thought about the things he had said, and implied, about my character and felt a wave of nausea. I was embarrassed just thinking about it, and I certainly didn’t want them to know about how he had seen me. Or about the way I had still asked him to make me a part of his life after he had admitted it.
“I’m sorry,” Chris said, shaking his head. “This guy is nuts. I can’t imagine any man willingly giving you up, Brooke. You’re better off without him.”
To my horror, I felt my eyes fill up with tears. I don’t think I had ever cried in front of Chris before. Hell, I rarely ever cried in front of Emily.
“Oh, sweetie,” Em said, putting her arm around me.
“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” Chris asked, looking terrified.
“No,” I told him, wiping my eyes. “That was a really nice thing to say, Chris. I just…I’m really sad that he gave me up. I really thought we had something together.”
It was a sign of how well they knew me that Chris and Em let me sniffle in quiet, not trying to cheer me up. That probably would have thrown me right off the deep end at that point. Finally, I pulled myself together and gave them a watery smile.
“Can we get out of here?” I asked. “I really just want to get my mind off things.”
“Of course,” Chris said. “I’ll take you guys to lunch.”
“Lunch sounds great,” I said. “Let’s go somewhere that serves cheap booze.”
Chris patted my arm. “There’s the Brooke I know.”
“Hey, I know what will cheer you up,” Emily said. “There’s a new movie out with our favorite actor of all time.”
“Ooh, Jenner Collins?” I asked, rubbing my hands together. Chris groaned, making Emily and me laugh. Jenner Collins was an action star from Michigan—we’d had a crush on him for years and had subjected Chris to many nights of our pining. I still had a Jenner poster in my closet at home.
“Yeah, it’s supposed to be really good. And I know one of the actors! Well, kind of. She’s friends with my friend Ginny, Annie something. Jenner discovered her, and she’s supposed to be, like, the next big thing. All the local papers are freaking out about her.”
“Well, who can turn down a movie starring the friend of a friend of a friend?” I asked. “I’m in.”
Chapter twenty-six
Paul had been right; getting out of town had been the exact right thing for me. Emily and her friends kept me busy for the next week, taking me to all of their favorite bars and restaurants in the area. When Emily and Chris were at work, I passed my time shopping, availing myself of the far superior fashion choices in the area. Chris took a day off in the middle of the week and we went down to a Tigers game. And at night, Emily and I would stay up late, talking about anything and everything over wine in her living room.
On Friday night, we all decided to visit Ashley’s old stomping grounds south of Detroit. “You must be initiated to the glory that is downriver,” Chris told me in mock-serious tones.
“Oh, you are so one to talk,” Ashley said. “Like downriver is any worse than northern Michigan. I’ve been to your hometown, buddy.”
“Yeah, all you Alpena kids will probably fit right in downriver,” Ryan said drily. “Total Hicksville.” Despite his jab, I loved when Ryan hung out with us. He was extremely fashionable, stylish, handsome, and just cool in general. Completely gay, unfortunately, but fun eye candy to have around. And he knew how to have a good time, even if he did like to tease us for being “country.”
“Everyone needs to stop bashing downriver,” Ashley said, crossing her arms. “I’m going to take you to the best bar ever, and then you’ll all feel bad.”
Elliot had to work, so the five of us crammed into Ryan’s car. It was a long drive just for a night out, but forty-five minutes later, we were parking on a quiet suburban street. “This is the site of the best bar ever?” I asked skeptically, looking around at all the modest family homes.
“It is,” Ashley said, taking my arm. I was a little surprised by her chumminess, but found that I was pleased. I hooked my arm through hers more firmly and promised myself I would never accuse her of judging me again.
The Oak Café was a small bar, consisting of only ten or so tables and a few high tops. I wasn’t sold on its appeal at first, but the longer we stayed the more I liked it. It was a comfortable bar with a good vibe; they were playing local sports on all the TVs, and the jukebox had one of the best music selections I had ever seen. Their menu of beers on tap was extensive and varied, and they served simple bar food done really well. By the time I started on my order of fried mac and cheese bites, I was ready to declare it one of my favorite bars.
“Don’t you dare tell Ryan I said this, but it does kind of remind me of home,” Emily whispered to me.
“Me, too,” I admitted.
An hour later, we were all well on our way to being drunk. We had decided to each get the beer sampler, a selection of eight choices from the menu. The glasses were deceptively sized, and I had a good buzz by the time I started my second sampler.
“Elliot is going to have to come and get us,” Ashley said, giggling.
“Speak for yourself,” Chris said. “I’m perfectly fine.” He then rather disproved his point by stumbling when he got up to use the bathroom, to the delight and jeers of all of us at the table.
When Chris came back from the bathroom, he was chuckling. “What?” I asked, looking up at him and trying to make his form stay still in my blurry eyes. “What’s so funny?”
“I put a song on the jukebox,” he said, full-out giggling now. “A special request for Ryan.”
“Oh God,” Ryan said, slumping on the table. “Do I even want to know?”
Chris’s song started up, and Emily and I burst into laughter. “What the hell is this?” Ryan asked, his voice alarmed.
“The anthem of country kids everywhere,” Emily said, as John Denver started singing about country roads. “Want me to sing it to you?”
“Do not,” Ryan said firmly. Em raised her eyebrows as if accepting the challenge, then slung her arm over my shoulder and started singing along with John Denver in a loud clear voice.
The look on Ryan’s face was priceless. “Oh, Ry, I’m so sorry,” I said, “but I’m gonna have to sing, too. It’s kind of a requirement, when you’re from Hicksville like us.”
“Oh dear God,” Ryan moaned, looking around the room as many of the patrons turned to stare at Emily and me.
“Guess you shouldn’t have made fun of us,” Ashley said, grinning. Soon, she and Chris had joined in with us, along with several of the bar’s more inebriated patrons. Ryan put his face down on the table, as if he couldn’t bear to watch such an uncool spectacle. I found that I couldn’t care less about his embarrassment. Standing with Emily, Ashley, and Chris, singing our hearts out, was the best time I’d had in weeks.
When the song ended, most of the room applauded for us. I jumped up on a chair to bow, laughing my head off. I heard some whistles from the bar, so I bowed again, flipping my hair around as I did so.
When I plopped back into my seat, I saw Chris looking at me with a smile on his face, shaking his head.
“What?” I asked, still laughing.
“That, right there, is why any
guy would be crazy to give you up. You’re one of a kind, Brooke Murray.”
I kissed his cheek. “You’re a prince, Christopher Davidson. Don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Once things had calmed down, I noticed my cell phone was buzzing in my purse. I pulled it out and saw that I had a missed call and had a voicemail. I didn’t recognize the number, but it was an Alpena area code. It was too loud at our table for me to hear, so I went outside to listen to the voice mail, the cool night air feeling good on my skin after being in the bar for so long.
“Hey, Brooke,” said a familiar voice, and I felt my heart start jumping around in my chest. John. I fleetingly wondered where he was calling from, realizing that I had never even known the number of his office line, but then he was talking again. “Look, I know you’re pissed at me. You have every right to be. I keep going over and over our fight in my head, and it’s killing me. I should have told you, I was so stupid. And what I said about Lainey… Please, give me another chance, okay? Will you just call me? We can work it out, I know we can.” It was quiet for a moment, and I wondered if the message had ended. But then I heard his voice again. “I miss you, Brooke.”
The line went dead, leaving me staring at my phone. I couldn’t believe that he had called me, tonight of all nights, when I was finally having fun. It was the first time in a week that I’d been able to get him out of my head and he had to go and ruin it.
I stomped back into the bar, feeling disproportionately angry with John and the world in general. When Ashley suggested we finish the night with some shots, I wholeheartedly agreed, determined to purge him from my thoughts once and for all.
* * *
The next morning, Emily and I treated our hangovers with frozen waffles, bacon, and the strongest coffee we could make. We sat at her little kitchen table, generally bemoaning our current state and blaming our age for making us such lightweights.
“John called last night,” I said as I buttered a second piece of toast. Emily stopped cutting her waffles to give me her full attention.
“And…?” She said, when I offered no more.
I sighed. “He says he misses me, he’s sorry, wants me to call, all that crap.”
“Are you going to call him?”
“Well, he said nothing about making me a real part of his life, so what’s the point?” I took a sip of my coffee, grimacing at its bitterness. “You know, it’s not like I want to become Lainey’s replacement mommy. I’m not asking to like, move in with him, or something. But he doesn’t have to pretend I don’t exist. That’s not fair to me.”
“It’s certainly not,” Emily agreed.
We were both quiet for a moment while we ate. “I miss him, though,” I finally said, my voice quiet. I looked up at her. “Isn’t that stupid?”
“It’s not stupid, Brooke,” she said. “You’re in love with him.” I didn’t respond. “Aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I think I am.” I sighed again. “Or was. Whatever. It doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t feel the same way. And there’s no chance I’m going chasing after a man that doesn’t want me.”
“Good for you.”
“Hey, Emily? Do…do you think I’d be a bad influence on a little girl?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I think that might be part of the problem. I think he doesn’t want me around his daughter because of…you know, how I am. How I come across.”
“If that’s true, it’s the stupidest thing I ever heard,” she said, her voice icy.
“But—”
“No. It’s ridiculous. You’d be an awesome influence on a little girl. You’d show her that it’s okay to be confident, and smart, and independent. You’d teach her not to be silly or play dumb just to get a guy. You’d show her how cool it is to be herself. What parent wouldn’t want all that for their daughter?”
“Man, you really know how to make a girl feel good,” I said, slightly embarrassed but pleased by her praise.
“Did he say something to you?”
I nodded. “It was more implied, but yeah. It made me feel—well, worse than Justine Marker ever made me feel, let me tell you.”
Emily reached over and took my hand. “Look at me, please.” I looked up and met her eyes, steady on mine. “There is nothing wrong with you, Brooke. Do you hear me? Nothing at all. I know you better than anyone else in the world, and I promise you there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I sleep around,” I said, looking down again and suddenly feeling so tired. “I have since we were teenagers. For all my hatred of Justine, she never really said too much that wasn’t true—besides the Mr. Castovas rumor, that is.”
“Are you crazy? Everything she said was a lie!”
I shook my head. “No, Em. She said I slept with lots of guys. I did. I still do. I slept with Paul the night before I slept with John, for God’s sake. That’s slutty.”
Emily slammed her hands down on the table, and I looked up at her in surprise. “I am so sick of that, Brooke,” she said, her voice angry. “Sick of you beating yourself up. So you like sex, big freaking deal.”
“Em—”
“No, just listen to me, okay? Ever since we were teenagers, you’ve gotten tons of attention for the way you look. I know it was annoying for you to have the guys at school chasing after you all the time and for the girls to drag you down over it. But you know what, Brooke? You made a choice.”
I stared at her in confusion. “I did?”
“Yeah, you did. You could have chosen to get all introverted and shy, ignored the boys and pretended like you were some kind of wall flower or something, but you didn’t.”
I snorted. “Yeah, you could say that.”
She held up a hand to silence me. “You chose, instead, to go out and live your life. To have fun, to do the things you wanted to do. Yeah, even to sleep with some guys when you felt like it. You chose to just be you, Brooke. Loud and brash and attention-seeking as you might be. Because you knew, deep down inside, that there was nothing wrong with being who you are.”
We were both quiet for a minute. “Attention-seeking?” I finally squeaked. “You think I’m attention-seeking?”
Emily threw back her head and laughed. “Oh, come on, Brooke. You know you are. After our little demonstration of John Denver’s catalog last night, you were the only one who felt the need to jump up onto a chair to bow to the cheering crowd.”
I blushed a little bit. “Point taken. I don’t know why I always feel the need to do stuff like that.”
She leaned over the table so she could meet my eyes again. “Because you’re pretty and funny and sexy and you don’t care, not really, who knows it. You know you’re cool and you want to share it with people. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Nothing wrong with being attention-seeking?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
She shook her head. “Never once have I felt like you intentionally upstaged me, Brooke. I’ve never seen you try to take attention at someone else’s expense. You’re a good friend, a great freaking friend. You need to stop beating yourself up, once and for all, for being brave enough to just be who you are.”
I was quiet for a minute, thinking about what she said. I wanted to believe her, so badly. But a part of me, a small, annoying part, still wondered why John would have let me go if what she was saying was true.
“You know, I’m proud of you, Brooke.”
I looked up at her in surprise. “Are you forgetting about the incident last night where I stood on a table and serenaded the entire bar with Madonna songs? Forget bowing to John Denver, I think Madonna was the real low point in Brooke Murray behavior.”
She laughed. “No, but that’s not what I was talking about. I’m proud of the way you handled John. I think it’s really healthy.”
“Again, are you forgetting about the incident last night where I stood on a table and serenaded the entire bar with Madonna songs? Because I’m pretty sure that has something to do with how
I’m handling this.”
Emily shoved me across the table. “Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”
“Sure,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “Go for it.”
“I think you’ve been trying to hide for a long time,” she said, her voice so soft I had trouble hearing her. “I think you thought you could protect yourself that way.”
I squirmed in my seat, uncomfortable with this line of conversation. Emily smiled at me. “I can see you’re dying for me to shut up, so I’ll be fast. I think it’s really fantastic that you can say what you want and try to fight for it. And that you’re strong enough to walk away if that’s what you need to do. I don’t think you would have been able to do this a few years ago. You’ve come a long way since—”
“Since I selflessly gave up my future to come home and save my parents?”
Emily shook her head. “I see what you’re doing there, missy, trying to turn it into a joke. But you know I’m right, don’t you?”
I ducked my head, but nodded.
“Okay, then, you’re off the hook, we can change the subject.”
“No more sappy stuff?” I asked hopefully. Emily laughed.
“You’re ridiculous. We’ve been best friends for twenty years, for God’s sake, we’re supposed to be a little sappy sometimes.”
I reached over the table to grab her hand. I found I couldn’t quite meet her eyes, but I squeezed her hand nonetheless. “Thanks, Em.”
“You’re welcome, Brooke.”
“Okay, changing the subject,” I said, returning to my bacon. “What the hell am I gonna do about work?”
Emily’s face lit up. “I think you should move down here! We could totally find you something in a hotel. Or you could try something totally different. Business is a pretty broad degree, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I said. “There’s probably lots of stuff I could do.”
Emily was watching me shrewdly. “But you don’t want to do anything else, do you? You really liked running the inn.”
“I did,” I said wistfully. “I think I was good at it. And every day was different. I liked that.”
An Unexpected Love Story (Love Story Book Two) Page 18