“Of course,” I said, giving myself a mental shake. He was right. I was fast running out of options, and I owed it to myself to take a look at the property. I reached out and took his outstretched hand. “Let’s check it out.”
* * *
Paul waited until we were back in the truck before he asked me what I thought. While we were exploring the lodge he was eager to chat, explaining its features and talking about ways it could be improved. But once we were ready to go, he quieted down, letting me form my opinion before he asked for a verdict.
“So,” he finally said as he pulled out onto the country road. “What do you think?”
“Well,” I said, taking my time. I was trying hard not to jump to any rash conclusions. “I think it has a lot of potential.”
He looked at me, grinning. “Right? I’m so glad you can see it.”
“And it might have a better chance of doing well in the winter than something in town,” I mused. “Those cabins right on the lake are perfect for ice fishing.”
“That’s what I thought. The smaller ones are great for hunting cottages, and the more secluded ones we could market for couples and families.”
I turned in my seat to look at him. “We?”
Paul’s face colored slightly. “Okay, so my reasons for finding this place aren’t entirely selfless. I was hoping you might need some help getting it ready and actually running the place. I want to be your partner.”
“My partner?”
Even in the gathering darkness I could see Paul roll his eyes. “God, you’re such a control freak. We’d have clearly defined roles, okay, so I wouldn’t be stepping on your toes. But it’s a huge undertaking for one person, and I think you could use my help. I have some savings I could contribute to the down payment. And you know I’m really good with repairs and building stuff, which you would totally need for renovating something.” He paused. “Besides, it’s…well. I just really want to try it.”
I was quiet for a minute, wondering how it would work. Paul and me working together, as partners? After what he had just implied about his feelings for me, could I really agree to work so closely with him? Wouldn’t it be too much like leading him on?
“Brooke, I want to do something with my life,” he said suddenly. He hit his hands on the leather of his steering wheel. “I’m tired of tending bar and getting drunk at Hardy’s every night. I want to do something real. I want more.”
“Well, I can certainly understand that,” I said quietly, watching his profile as he drove. Who knew Paul had such ambitions? His words sounded familiar—they sounded like me.
“It would take a lot of work,” I said at last, trying to tamp down the overwhelming excitement that was growing in my belly.
“I don’t think hard work ever put either of us off.”
I was quiet for a moment. “It’s not in Alpena,” I finally said, my voice soft.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Paul said, reaching over to take my hand. “Maybe it would be better, to get a little distance.”
I thought about the town, about the way it would look to me without the inn standing there on the shore. How would I feel if I had to watch them tearing it down? Day by day dismantling my home, my work. I shivered.
“Yeah, distance might be good.”
“So does that mean you’re in?” Paul asked, excitement clear in his voice.
“I want to think about it,” I said, trying to keep my voice firm. The truth was, a huge part of me wanted to squeal, to jump up and down on the seat of his new truck. My own property! To do with whatever I wanted. Well, not quite, not if I took Paul up on his offer to be my partner. But would that be a bad thing? To have some help? To not put all the weight of the world on my own shoulders, the way I had with the inn?
I couldn’t contain myself. “It does sound pretty freaking fantastic.”
Paul laughed and slapped his hands against the steering wheel again, but this time in excitement. “I knew you’d be into it!”
I laughed with him. “Let’s not get in over our heads, okay? We need to give it a lot of thought. I’ve never considered running a property like that.”
“It doesn’t have to be that place,” he said quickly. “It’s just what gave me the idea. If you want, we could start looking for a B&B or hotel or whatever.”
“It would probably be worth seeing what else is out there,” I agreed. I caught myself. “That is, if we decide to do it.”
Paul just laughed as he turned down the road that would take us home. “You’ll come around,” he said confidently. “I know you will.”
Chapter Twenty-nine
“Okay, what are we looking at today?” Paul asked, sitting down across from me in my booth. I consulted my planner before responding
“We have a resort down the shore in Acme,” I said, pulling out the appropriate fact sheet from Carrie, our realtor. “Comprised of a small motel and…holy crap. Ten private cabins.”
Paul whistled. “Ten cabins and a motel? That sounds pretty huge.”
“Well, if the price is anything to go by, it’s a dump.”
“I guess we won’t know until we check it out,” he said happily. I had discovered, over the past two weeks that Paul loved nothing more than checking out properties. He spent half his time at work glued to his iPhone, searching the listing service for something new. “You gonna eat that?” He asked, reaching for my half-finished sandwich.
“I was, yes,” I said, sticking out my tongue at him as he took a huge bite. He grinned at me, his mouth full. I turned my attention back to the fact sheet. “I don’t know about this place, but I guess we should check it out.”
“Something will work out, Murray,” Paul said, reaching over to pat my hand before stealing one of my chips to go with the sandwich. “No stressing, okay? This is fun!”
I wasn’t sure that fun was the word I would use, though our quest was exciting. Paul and I had decided against the cabins and lodge on Long Lake. After we had consulted with a contractor, we realized the amount of work would be cost-prohibitive—and that was just to get the place up to code, let alone make it nice enough to really be proud of. So for the last two weeks we had been viewing properties, checking out a dizzying assortment of inns and small hotels. It was depressing, and more than a little sobering, to see how many vacated properties were out there. It was a tough time, economically, to be starting a new business.
I pushed the thought out of my mind as I stood up from the booth. “Come on, we should get going.”
“Can I drive this time?” Paul asked, following me out of the restaurant.
“Forget it,” I said. “Your truck is way too new. It freaks me out. We’ll take my truck.”
“Such a control freak,” he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear.
“And you’re the crazy guy who wants to go into business with me,” I said, pushing his shoulder. Paul didn’t respond, but I couldn’t help notice his grin stretched from ear to ear as he climbed into my truck.
* * *
“I think you’re being unreasonable,” Paul said an hour later, his voice cold.
“And I think you’re being a starry-eyed idealist,” I snapped back, starting the engine of my truck.
“You have to take a chance, Brooke,” he said, changing tack. “We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep playing it so safe.”
“Playing it safe?” I cried, turning to stare at him. “Are you kidding me?”
“Watch the road,” he barked.
I turned my attention back to the road, but refused to be put off. “Do you have any idea how tough of a business we’re getting into? Do you have any idea how often these things fail?”
“No, Brooke, I don’t, because clearly I’m a dumbass twelve year old.”
“You’re acting like one,” I muttered.
“And you’re acting like a bitch,” he said simply.
Despite my irritation, I couldn’t help but feel a grudging respect for him. Unlike so
many people, Paul never let me bully him. He never let me win a fight just because I got scary, and he always told it to me like he saw it. Admirable qualities.
But annoying qualities, too, when I badly wanted to win our fight. “I’m just saying that we can’t let our excitement override our common sense,” I said, more calmly now.
“Fair enough. But I think the real problem is you don’t want a property like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think you want something self-contained, not a resort with lots of outbuildings.”
“I want whatever makes the most sense economically and practically,” I argued.
“Brooke, we’re talking about starting our own hotel,” he said. “This is a serious, reach-for-the-stars, live-your-dreams kind of moment.” I snorted, and he slapped my knee. “I’m serious. I know we need to be mindful of the business stuff, but we can’t take a step like this unless we’re both totally excited about the property. I want us to fall in love with it, you know?”
I was quiet. Was it possible my objections to the places we had seen were more emotional and less logical than I had thought?
“What’s your favorite thing about Murray Inn?” Paul asked suddenly.
“Um…” I didn’t want to think about Murray Inn. The only reason I was able to deal with its impending demise was because I was losing myself in the property hunt with Paul. Correctly judging the reason for my hesitation, Paul reached across the gearshift and took my hand.
“It’s okay,” he said. “It’s okay to think about it.”
“I really like being in the dining room when it’s full,” I said, blinking to keep the tears growing in my eyes from blurring my vision as I drove. “Do you remember before Thanksgiving?”
“That night Emily came up?” he asked, knowing immediately what I had meant. “Yeah.”
“I loved that. The dining room full, everyone talking and laughing, the fire crackling while it snowed outside. I loved that.”
I let go of his hand so I could rub my eyes. Paul didn’t mention my tears, he just nodded. “Me too. It was perfect.”
We were both quiet for a moment. I wondered if Paul was also lost in memories of the inn or if he was simply giving me my space.
“So,” he finally said, his voice more cheerful. “I think that’s what we should be looking for. Something self contained like an inn or a B&B—everyone in the same building. A place where all your guests can come together for dinner or drinks. A place with that same cozy feeling, that warm atmosphere. Right?”
“That sounds good,” I said, my voice breaking. “That sounds like what I want.”
“Then that’s what we’ll look for,” Paul said simply. He reached over again and took my hand. This time, I didn’t let go.
Between the property hunt and work at the inn, I was spending more time with Paul than I had in years. Hanging out with him so much was great, like old times. I had forgotten how comfortable I was with him, how easy he was to talk to. He wasn’t offended when I was rude or when I cussed, but he also didn’t tease me when I let my more sensitive side come out. It was nice not to have to pretend, or hold certain parts of myself back, the way I did with so many people.
The more time we spent together, the more I remembered why I had been attracted to him in the first place. Paul had always been good looking, though in a less flashy way than John. But the true source of his attraction came from his personality; from the way he could tease me and make it feel like a compliment, to the glint in his eyes when he flirted. I had to remind myself several times a day that I had hurt Paul enough, that we wanted different things and always would. Going down that road again was out of the question.
I was so busy with the property hunt that I barely had time to mourn my breakup with John. As the weeks passed, it all started to feel somewhat like a dream. Had I imagined those overwhelming feelings of needing him? It was hard to remember what it had been like to feel so strongly, like it had happened to someone else.
* * *
In early May, John showed up at the inn once again, as if determined to remind me my feelings for him had, in fact, been real.
I was supposed to be working in my office at the time, but was actually on the Internet looking at properties. Paul wasn’t working that day, giving me no one to obsess with over our search; looking at properties online was the next best thing. I had just opened a new email from him, filled with links to properties, when I heard the knock on my open door.
“John,” I gasped. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.” It was weird, hearing his voice after all this time. I had almost forgotten what he sounded like. I studied his once-so-familiar face. He looked nervous and upset, not at all like the confident, in-control-of-the-world man I remembered.
“What for?” I remembered my manners suddenly and gestured at the chair across from me. “Do you want to sit?”
He looked grateful as he took the seat. “Thanks, Brooke.” We were quiet for a moment, looking at each other. “You look great,” he finally said, his voice intense. “Beautiful as ever.”
“Thanks,” I said, looking down. I wished he would say what he had come to say and get out of here; something about being near to him had my stomach all worked up into knots.
“I miss you,” he said, his voice so soft I wasn’t sure I had heard him. I snapped my head up to look at him, and found him staring at me. “I really, really miss you, Brooke.”
“John,” I said, feeling helpless. What was I supposed to say to that?
“I know I messed up,” he said quickly. “I know I really hurt you, and I’m so sorry for that. That’s why I came here, to tell you that I was sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Really. I’m fine, John.”
He watched me for a moment, looking almost surprised. I wondered what he had expected me to say.
“I’m glad,” he said at last. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
An awkward silence settled over us. John looked like he wanted to say more, but his mouth remained closed as he stared at me.
“Uh, is there anything else?” I finally asked.
“Brooke, give me another chance,” he said suddenly, his voice urgent. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking for one anyway.”
“John—”
“I miss you, Brooke. So much. I want you back. Say you’ll come back.”
I felt my heart rate increase. Wasn’t this what I’d been wishing for all these weeks? That he’d beg me to come back? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that his words didn’t fill me with the kind of joy or relief I had expected to feel.
“John, nothing’s changed,” I said, my voice heavy.
“We’ll make it change,” he said, reaching across my desk to take my hands. “Together, we’ll make it what we want it to be.”
“And what about Lainey?”
He swallowed. “I think you should know her. I’d really like the two of you to spend time together.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “That’s a change.” I couldn’t keep the edge of bitterness from my voice, remembering the things he had said about my influence on her.
“I told you I was stupid,” he said quickly. “That’s just one of the many ways.” He grinned at me, that familiar, sex-god grin of his, and I couldn’t help but smile back. “I’m groveling here, Brooke. And happy to do it.”
“I don’t know, John,” I said, trying not to think about how gorgeous he was when he smiled, when his eyes got all warm like that. “It’s been weeks. A lot of things have happened.”
“I know. I know it won’t be easy, but I want us to try.” He squeezed my hands between his, and I felt myself starting to cave.
“I know we could be happy together,” he said. “Even better than before. I’ve been thinking that Lainey and I should go back to Chicago. She’s not adjusting the way I would like, I think she misses her friends and her home. I don’t need my parents so much anymore, you know? I’m get
ting the hang of this whole thing.”
“Wait,” I pulled my hands back out of his grasp. “You came here to tell me that you want me back but that you think you might be leaving?”
John laughed and reached for my hands again. “I want you to come, too,” he said. “You always said you wanted to get out of here, go live in civilization,” he laughed again. “We should go together. Can’t you just see us? Running around Chicago together? And there are plenty of hotels for you to find a job.”
“I didn’t just have a job in a hotel,” I said, pulling my hands away again. “I ran this inn, John.”
“I know,” he said, his expression changing slightly, as if he was realizing for the first time that maybe I wasn’t on the same page. “That’s what a meant, a place for you to run.”
“I don’t know if I want to go to Chicago,” I said, feeling slightly panicked at the thought for some reason.
“We don’t have to,” he said quickly. “It was just a thought. I figured you’d be excited about it.”
I shook my head, feeling confused. John was basically offering me everything I had ever wanted. The chance to get out of this town, to find some real excitement in life, to be with a man who was gorgeous and sophisticated. So why did I feel so sick?
“I don’t know,” I finally said, shaking my head again. “I just don’t know.”
“Brooke, don’t worry about Chicago,” he said, sounding exasperated. “Like I said, it was just an idea.”
I met his eyes. “I don’t mean about Chicago,” I said. “I mean I don’t know about us.”
“Oh,” he said, his face falling. “Oh, I see.”
It was quiet in my office. I struggled to understand what I was feeling, why I wasn’t more thrilled by his offer. Was it because I was still angry with him?
“Can I think about it?” I finally asked.
John’s face cleared. “Of course,” he said. He laughed, but it sounded somewhat forced. “Thinking about it is better than a flat out no, right?”
I smiled at him weakly. “Sure.”
“So, uh,” he said, standing, his entire being exuding awkwardness. “Will you call me?”
An Unexpected Love Story (Love Story Book Two) Page 20