I pace back and forth in my kitchen as they both stare at me waiting for me to say something. “He was not the only one I had dealt with,” I finally say after the silence and their stares get to me.
Parker nods his head and Slade sits back in his seat, thinking I don’t want to punch Parker in the face anymore.
“What all did you buy from him?” Parker asks.
I shake my head with a heavy sigh. “I don’t know, Parker,” I say honestly. I look over at him. “There were times I didn’t care what I got my hands on as long as I got something,” I admit with shame. I hate to tell them anything but especially Slade. He knows just as much as I do, I’m not the type of guy who loves others. But I care for my sister and my niece. I would hate for him to take them away from me. I spent too much time away from Sam already.
“Well, I will need their names.” Parker gets my attention.
“No,” I say firmly. “I won’t be the reason you get yourself killed,” I say looking from him to Slade. “You either.”
“I’m damn fucking good at my job,” Parker says defensively. “And I can’t do it if you don’t tell me what I need to know,” he says voice rising. Parker is very touchy when it comes to being a cop. He believes they’re all good and that they all abide by the law. I know better.
I arch an eyebrow. “Thought this didn’t have to do with you being a cop?” I ask and he lets out a sound of irritation.
Slade picks this time to speak up. “We don’t need to know anything right now,” he states. Parker goes to speak, but Slade holds up his hand to stop him. “I just think you need to be careful. Like I said, Howard is still missing. I thought that maybe Officer White had killed him and stashed his body somewhere to never be found. But I could be wrong.” He takes a deep breath before he adds, “And I think you need to start hanging around Missy.”
“What the fuck does she have to do with it?” I bark; just the sound of her name has my dick hardening and my mind wandering.
“Jeremy tried to drug her once,” Parker adds before he looks down at the table, avoiding eye contact with me.
Yeah, but Jeremy is dead as well. It was supposed to have been a hit and run but the bastard’s truck had caught on fire and he burned to death. “We don’t know who all is involved at the police station, like you once said.” He swallows hating to say those words. “And that’s why I’m still there. We need someone on the inside to know when sketchy shit happens. But I feel like if someone knows something about you that the way they will get that information will be through Missy. Like White tried to use Sam.”
Even though I’m a bastard, I would never allow someone to physically hurt her, especially because of me. I would fight to save her life. I walked away from her after Vegas so she could live a happy life. Not be weighed down by me.
“No one in this town knows about Missy and me,” I state. “Not anyone who would try to hurt her, anyways.”
“You don’t know that,” Parker says.
“When did you become such a pessimist?” I snap. My irritation for him is growing by the second.
“When my friends started getting attacked,” he snaps back, looking up at me from his seat. “You think I want to look at things this way? It’s like every time I turn around someone’s life is being threatened.”
I ignore him as I make my way back over to my seat and sit down. “What do you want me to do?” I finally ask as I look over to Slade.
“I already told you. Watch your back and stay close to Missy,” he says matter-of-fact.
“How am I going to get close to her all of a sudden after pushing her away for so long?” I run a hand over my unshaven face. Fuck me, I’m tired.
Parker smirks and I want to punch it right off of his face. “Try being a little charming,” he offers. “Open the door for her. Take her to dinner…”
“Dinner? You think fucking dinner will work?” I ask dryly. I fucked the girl and then cussed her out the following morning as if the fact that I slept with her was all her fault. I still remember the tear running down her beautiful face when I told her it was a mistake. She was a mistake. But truthfully, I have always been the mistake.
Slade lets out a laugh and raises his hands to him. “Let’s get him to just talk to her first.” And then he turns to face me. “Do not take advice on women from Parker.”
I shake my head at them trying to figure out what they’re saying. “So let’s get this straight. You want me to pretend to like her? Then what? What if Officer White had been talking shit and no one is after me? How long do I pretend to play this fucking game?” What if I hurt her again? What if what they say is true and someone tries to hurt her? I can’t be everywhere at once.
“As long as it takes,” Slade says with no argument, and I find myself leaning back in my seat and closing my eyes.
I need a fucking drink.
MISSY
I stand in the back half of the bakery just finishing up icing a cake for a kid’s birthday party that Angel’s Dream is catering tomorrow when I hear Courtney walk through the door that leads out to the front.
Courtney is the type of girl that you envy. Not only is she a beautiful, tall blonde, she is also funny and doesn’t take any crap from anyone. She’s been Sam’s best friend since they were young. She quit her job in Oklahoma and moved here to be with her after Sam’s mother died. And it just so happened that she fell in love with Slade’s best friend, Josh. They got married and have twin boys. Once Sam opened the bakery, she hired her as well.
She walks up behind me and smiles as she looks down at the cake. “It’s done, Sam,” I announce to her as she stands over by the sink. “I just need you to write the message on it.” Sam has much better handwriting than I do. So she does all of the writing.
“So Missy,” Courtney starts as I walk away and go to wash my hands. “I wanna know who’s better in bed. Tate or Braxton?”
“Courtney,” Sam squeals. “That’s not something you ask someone.”
“Why not?” Courtney frowns. “I just wanna know.” She leans over the counter and gets a dreamy smile on her face. “Tate seems like the kind to literally rip your clothes off and screw you crazy. Whereas Braxton seems like he would be slow and boring. Although it is usually the quiet ones who are the wildest.” She winks at me and I look down to the floor and I smile. Courtney always makes me laugh. I swear that girl has no filter. I wish I could be more like her.
“Missy, don’t answer that,” Sam says shaking her head.
“Why not? It’s just us girls and I’m curious. I would think that Tate would give you more orgasms than you could count. I mean, I know no one is as good as Josh—” She throws her hands up in the air with a big smile on her face referring to her husband. “But I’m surrounded in a house full of men. Between Josh and the twins drooling and spitting up on me, I need some girl time. I need some dirty girl talk,” she adds. “So fess up. Which one gave you the most?” She wiggles her eyebrows, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Well…” I say before biting my lip nervously. Should I tell them? Will they judge me? Will they look at me like an idiot? Someone still innocent. There’s so much that I still don’t know about when it comes to sex. What would they say if they knew the truth about Braxton…?
My shoulders slump and I let out a long sigh, giving up the fight. Maybe they can help me. “I’ve never…”
Courtney gasps, interrupting me. “Oh my God.” She places her hands on my shoulders and spins me to face her. “You’ve never had an orgasm?” she says with her brown eyes bulging. “Neither one of them have given you one?”
That’s not what I was going to say but that is the truth. “No,” I whisper embarrassed.
“Oh you poor thing,” she says sadly, and Sam shakes her head at her with a frown on her face.
“It took me a while to have one,” Sam says as she starts to write on the cake in blue icing.
“We need to find you a man,” Courtney says, walking over to me before
&nbs
p; throwing her arm over my shoulders. “A real man.” She winks and nods her head. “Tomorrow night, we’re going out. A girls’ night and we are going to get you that orgasm.”
I laugh out loud at her idea of just sending me home with some random guy. “First off ‘we’ will not,” Sam says as she writes the correct message on the cake. “Second of all, tomorrow is her birthday. The party is at our house,” she says reminding us.
“Well, I can invite some people,” Courtney offers.
Sam turns to look at her. “You don’t know any people here in St. Louis except for us.”
“True,” she sighs placing her finger to her chin. Then she gets a big smile on her face. “I could have Parker post your birthday on his Facebook page. I know the idiot has one.”
I shake my head quickly. “No thanks.” That’s the last thing I need is one of Parker’s friends. I see how he treats women, and I know his friends probably aren’t any better.
Courtney plops down at the table the guys have put in the back of the bakery and frowns. “Well, those were the only ideas that I had,” she says sounding defeated.
“Ideas for what?” Holly asks as she comes out of the back office. Holly is married to Slade’s younger brother, Micah. She and Sam used to waitress at Larry’s—a little hole-in-the-wall bar. As soon as Sam opened up the bakery, she hired on Holly.
“I’m trying to get Missy an orgasm,” Courtney says as if my lack of one is no big deal. I feel my cheeks heat up when Holly looks at me with wide eyes.
Holly laughs and throws her hands up. “I’ll stay out of this one.”
Courtney goes to speak but the door to the front chimes, signaling a customer walking in. Courtney gets up and walks back through the door to the front and I sit down in her seat.
“Don’t let her get to you,” Sam says with a smile on her face.
I laugh. “She’s fine,” I say looking down to the table.
“Is everything okay?” she asks sitting down in front of me.
I nod.
“I invited Tate to your party,” she announces, and I stare up at her. She had asked me if she could invite him. I told her yes, well, because he is her brother. And I also suspected that he wouldn’t show. “And?” I ask slowly.
Her green eyes light up as she answers. “He said he would come.”
I hang my head and let out a long breath. I can’t get away from him. And the sad part is that I want to see him.
“Hey. I can uninvited him if you’d like,” she says before placing a hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head. “No. I would never have you do that.” I’m not that bad of a person.
“Then why do you look so down about it?”
I shrug trying to make it less than it is. “I just figured he wouldn’t care to come.”
“Oh Missy,” she says with a smile. “He was very excited when I told him that you and Braxton broke up.”
“You told him that?” I ask in shock. “He seemed excited?” I whisper. Probably because he thinks he can get me in bed again. Would I jump on that if he gave me that opportunity? I want to say no, but the truth is that I would.
I’m so pathetic.
***
Later on that evening, after the bakery has closed and everyone is gone, I’m sitting at the round table in the back working on some paperwork and the inventory. Sam wanted to stay and help but I told her to go on home. It was the least I could do since she is throwing me a birthday party tomorrow night.
I stand from the table and turn around to walk over to the office when I stop right in my tracks. I watch as the door handle on the back door jiggles. I shake my head thinking maybe I’m seeing things. I haven’t had much sleep lately. I blink a few times before I focus on the door knob once again. It moves.
I run over to the counter and grab the first thing I see; a rolling pin. I wrap my hands tightly around it. I make my way over to the back door. It jiggles again.
It’s locked.
I always keep it locked when I’m here alone, which is a lot.
I reach up to switch the light off covering myself in darkness. My heart pounds in my chest with nervousness, and I try to take a few calming breaths to slow it down. No one ever comes in through the back door. Even Sam and I enter through the front. This is a safe part of town, but that doesn’t mean break-ins don’t occur.
Standing behind the door and blinking to allow my eyes to adjust, I lift the rolling pin over my head.
Why didn’t I grab a knife? Too late now.
I readjust my grip when I hear the click sound informing me they just got the door unlocked.
It swings open letting the soft light from the back alley filter in. I see something of a tall figure and then the door slams shuts just as quickly.
I take a few steps hoping I’m close enough and swing.
I hit something hard and then a deep growl cuts through my heavy breathing. It’s more of a sound of annoyance rather than a growl from pain being inflicted.
Yep. Definitely needed a knife.
I swing again, trying to make contact with anything when my upper arm is grabbed and I’m yanked forward. I use that momentum and lift my hands up, shoving them as soon as I make contact with a hard chest. It throws us both backwards into the table that I had been sitting at.
A muttered ‘fuck’ comes as we both hit the floor. Then there’s a crashing sound as if a chair has fallen over as well. I scramble to get up on my hands and knees to get away but a big and firm hand wraps around my ankle; yanking me back.
I flip over onto my back to kick and hit at it but I instantly can’t breathe as the person sits on top of me and catching my wrists. They hold them down by my head and I finally find my voice. I scream.
Two things happen faster than I thought were possible. My hands slide against the floor as they are roughly shoved above my head and held by one hand, allowing their free hand to slam over my mouth.
I shake my head quickly trying to throw them off, my body thrashing underneath them trying to get some sort of advantage. My heart is beating so hard my chest hurts. I dislodge the hand enough to bite down on it. It is instantly gone as I scream out again. “HELP!”
“Missy?” a powerful voice shouts over mine.
My body instantly quits moving. No. Please no. Don’t let it be him. Let it be a burglar. The fear is gone and I’m left with coldness.
I suck in a deep breath, trying to breathe normal once again. “Missy?” he demands this time.
I close my eyes tightly. Even though it’s pitch black, I don’t want him to have any way of seeing me. Maybe the floor will swallow me up.
Tate broke my heart. He shattered it with only one word; mistake. Out of everything he had done in his life, I was the mistake. I am probably the only one-night stand that he considers a mistake. But even though he broke my heart, he still holds all the pieces. Every woman has that one man that she will never forget. Tate is that man for me.
“Missy?” he snaps, and it has my eyes snapping open.
“Yes?” I snap back, trying not to concentrate on the fact that he’s still straddling me as I lie on the bakery floor. His hands tighten around my wrist as I respond and I bite my lip to keep from whimpering. The way his body feels on top of mine, holding me down, is torture in its best form.
I remember that night in Vegas, the way his body held mine. There was nothing gentle about him. He was strong and demanding, just like I knew he would be. I loved every minute of it. The sex hurt like hell, though; I thought he was going to tear me in half. I was sore for days afterwards but I liked it. It reminded me of the night we shared. Then it went away and I was back to normal. It was the worse feeling in the world. He had walked away from me, it was as if I dreamed it all—the way he spoke to me, the way his body moved with mine, the way his lips felt on mine.
Just that thought has me licking my lips.
“What the fuck are you doing here this late?” his deep voice demands.
And just like that I reme
mber who he truly is. A bastard.
“Get the hell off of me, Tate,” I say, struggling to get out from underneath him. Suddenly the room is too small. It’s too dark. I need the lights on and at least five feet between us.
His breathing picks up once again and I feel him starting to react from my struggle. I bite the inside of my cheek. Don’t make a noise, Missy. Don’t let him know that he still affects you. That your body still craves him.
I’ve spent almost a year ignoring him. Even when he tries to talk to me, I ignore it. I’m afraid I’ll let out all my secrets. Then what? It won’t matter to him. He won’t care what I went through or what I felt. He wasn’t there—he walked away—and I’m living with that.
“Missy, I…” he starts to speak and my body softens underneath his but I need to get up. I need to get out of here.
“Tate.” I try to be firm. To sound like I mean business. I won’t put up with his shit but it comes out as a whisper.
I’m so pathetic!
His free hand wraps around my throat. Not cutting off my air but firmly holding it to the cold, tiled floor. I arch my neck and swallow hard. How can it be so cold underneath me when my body is literally on fire from his voice, his touch?
I tighten my legs together, trying to ignore the sensation that he elicits from me. He had done the same thing in Vegas. Tate is a man who holds power. Anyone who sees him knows that power comes from rage and violence. But, nonetheless, the power is there. He is not one of those guys who is soft and gentle—and that turns me on even more.
I’ve always been the innocent girl. The one who kept her head in a romance novel. I loved the old ones, the ones where the hero was all caveman and protective over his woman. I want to feel that way. I don’t want to be cherished like some princess. I want someone who will show me things that I don’t quite understand. I want to see everything the world has to offer. The good, the bad, the ugly. I want it all. I want him.
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