“Okay,” I say before I hang up. “We’ll be there. Now leave us alone.” I turn my phone off and toss it onto the floor before I pounce on Missy. I wrap my arms underneath her and fall onto my back bringing her with me. She giggles as she looks down at me and I find myself smiling.
MISSY
It’s crazy how a person can go from crying down on their knees to smiling while they stand upright. Tate has brought me to both in a matter of days.
I called my mom this morning and had a long talk with her. She said she has always liked Tate and that she always saw the way he looked at me. She encouraged me to let someone in. And since I spent months hiding my life from her, she knew the only person I would let in would be Tate.
She also told me that she has known from day one that I had a thing for him. When I questioned how she knew that she just laughed and said it was motherly instinct. There was a long pause after that. Just because Tate has decided to be a different person doesn’t change what happened. And I’m not mad at him or have any regrets. I just wish I wouldn’t have lost our baby. A baby that I didn’t even know I wanted—until it was too late.
After my talk with my mother, Tate and I went out to grab some breakfast before we went back to his house to get ready. I’ve tried several times to engage him in sex, but he’s not having it. He says he doesn’t wanna hurt me. And although I feel great now, I have no idea when it will hit me again.
Now I find myself walking up to Slade and Sam’s driveway. The front door opens before Tate can even knock on it. Sam stands there with a big smile on her face as she hands her daughter Sadey off to him. “Slade is downstairs,” she tells him before she grabs my arm and pulls me through the front door.
I try to hide my laugh as I hear Tate shut the front door. I know she’s dying to know what is going on. After I had left Tate’s house after our fight, I called in and took a few personal days off. And I ended up taking two more after my mother took me to the hospital when I was in pain. I didn’t want them to have to explain my new medical condition. I’ve had my phone off since then. I wanted as much alone time with Tate as he would allow me.
“What is going on?” Sam asks. Her bright green eyes are wide. “What were you doing in bed with Tate this morning? How long has this been going on? Is this why you broke it off with Braxton?” The questions just keep coming.
“Stop,” I say trying not to laugh at her. “I’ll answer all your questions but can I at least sit down first?” I ask with a smile as I gesture to the living room.
She doesn’t answer, just grabs my hand once again and pulls me into the living room and plops down on the couch.
“Okay. Spill the beans, sister,” she demands, and my smile brightens.
Sam has been a great friend since I first met her one night at the bar while she was out with Slade and all their friends. Tate had also been with them. I remember seeing him sitting there with them. He had that mad look on his face and it made my heart hurt. I had asked him earlier that day if he was going out and he had told me no. In all honesty, I think he was afraid to be seen out with me. I had a fake ID at the time, so I could see why he had lied. But when I asked him about it in front of everyone, he said it was a last-minute decision.
“I’m waiting,” Sam says, getting my attention.
“What did you want to know again?” I ask, knowing exactly what she wants to know.
She huffs. “Why you were in bed with my brother this morning? How long it’s been going on. And why you haven’t told me,” she says with a smile of her own. “You know I’ve been on your side since day one.”
She knows how much I love him, and she would love to see me and Tate together.
“Are you guys a couple?”
I shake my head. Tate said to give him a chance. I’m not sure what that means exactly. He hasn’t said anything about us being a couple.
“What? Then what are you guys doing?”
I sit back in the couch. “I don’t know really,” I say truthfully.
She gets a hard look on her face and stands up from the couch quickly. I stand as well and grab her hand before she starts to walk off. “What’s wrong?”
She turns back to face me. “He’s using you,” she states, and I realize how she took that.
I shake my head. “No, you misunderstood me.”
Her eyes bug out. “How did I misunderstand that?” she questions. “You said you’re not in a relationship yet you have been sleeping with him.”
I let out a long breath. “You don’t know everything,” I say before looking down to my hands in my lap.
“Then tell me what’s going on,” she says grabbing my hand. “I thought you were doing really well compared to…” After Vegas!
I give her a small smile. I just told my mother and then Tate about my past. I’m not ready to tell anyone else just yet. “I’m just taking it one day at a time.”
***
Sam told me that she understood that. But as we all sat down for dinner Tate had busted out with the news about the fibroids. He figured that I had told Sam since that was why I was taking off work. She cried. A lot! Sam had complications during her pregnancy and ended up having to have a C-section followed by an unplanned hysterectomy. So she understood how I didn’t want surgery.
I was actually glad that Tate had brought it up because Sam was on my side one hundred percent. Whereas Slade and Tate were not.
Now Tate and I sit at his kitchen table when we hear the front door open and then shut.
“Damn, Tate.” We hear Parker’s voice before we see him. “That bike catches more fucking chicks than Puss Puss. This one bitch I was driving next to pulled up her shirt and flashed me her big ol’ titties.” We hear him messing around in the living room. “I about crashed it right then and there. No wonder you get so much fucking pussy…” He finally enters the kitchen and quits speaking the moment he spots me. His mouth falls open a little and he looks between us for a few seconds.
I know how Tate has been with women in the past. I have seen it firsthand, and although I’m not okay with it, I also know I can’t change it.
“Hi,” I say to Parker with a friendly smile.
“What are you doing here?” he asks slowly.
“Parker,” Tate growls at him, and he finally takes his eyes off of me.
“What?” he asks sitting down. “I’m curious why Missy is here,” he says as he calls for his cat to come jump on his lap. Once the cat positions itself on his lap he starts to stroke her back. “Have you two made up?”
“Parker,” Tate snaps this time.
I laugh at how different they are. I can’t believe they have survived this long as roommates. It’s only been like a year but still. Parker is full of life and always cracking jokes. Tate is dark and usually quiet.
Parker gives me a big smile and then looks over at Tate. “You sly dog, you.”
“Parker,” Tate says in warning.
“Is that all that you can say?” I ask Tate. “His name?”
His eyes narrow on me, and Parker lets out a laugh. “You two are going to make a cute couple.”
“We’re not a couple,” I say looking over at Parker. Even though it hurt to say that, I want Tate to know that I don’t expect that from him. That’s not what he is looking for and I know that.
“Hmm mmm,” Parker hums with a smile before he jumps up with Puss Puss and heads out of the kitchen.
I go to get up as well when Tate reaches up and grabs me. He pulls my wrist, which spins me around. His large hands grab my waist and he pulls me down to where I straddle him and the kitchen chair.
I look down at him surprised. “What?” I ask as he just stares at me.
He reaches up and pushes a few blond strands behind my ear. “Are you embarrassed by me?” I would think he’s kidding but his face is completely serious.
His question catches me off guard causing me to frown. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because of what you just told Parker,” he says s
imply.
“I’m confused…” I shake my head trying to clear it. “What I said was the truth. It had nothing to do with you personally. I know you don’t want a relationship and that’s okay.”
His face hardens and his dark blue eyes narrow. “Have you not been listening to a thing that I have told you?” he asks sounding frustrated.
I guess not, because I have no idea what he’s talking about. “I’m not pushing you…”
“I know,” he snaps, interrupting me. He takes in a deep breath. “Look, I know that I have anger issues. And that I let my temper get the best of me. I also know that I want you,” he admits, and my heart starts to pound hard in my chest.
“Meaning?” I ask terrified that my mind is playing tricks on me. There’s no way that Tate is telling me that he wants more with me.
He leans in closer to me. “I’m saying when I asked you for a chance, I was asking you to give me one. I want you to be mine. All mine! If you are in pain, I want you to tell me. If you are having a bad day, I want to be the first person you think of to call. I want to be there for you. I’ve pushed you away long enough.”
I’m absolutely terrified to give Tate that control over me. That I will end up heartbroken and alone once again. But this is what I’ve always wanted. This is what I’ve needed. Him! And like I keep telling myself, one day at a time. And he just made today my best day!
I give him a smile. “Okay.” He starts to give me one of his rare smiles and I speak again. “And I want you to do the same as well.” He frowns. “I want you to need me as much as I need you.”
With those words the smirk is back on his face. “You need me, baby?”
I run my hands up his muscular chest. “Always,” I say in all honesty. I have loved him so much that at times the pain of him walking away took my breath away.
Before he can say anything, I lean down and place my lips on his. He opens up for me as his large hands run up my back, pulling my body closer to his. His tongue strokes mine and I open my lips wider, wanting him to devour me.
This kiss is different. It’s between two people who have finally given up the fight. Not in defeat but in victory.
We’re still both in the middle of the ocean but we’re no longer drowning in a sea of despair. We’re treading water, and I can see the sunlight out on the horizon.
CHAPTER NINE
TATE
She starts to rock her hips against me and I pull away taking in a deep breath. “We can’t Missy. I don’t want to hurt you.” Fuck, I’m so hard. I’m gonna need a cold shower after she goes to bed.
She shakes her head quickly. “It won’t hurt me. I can have sex,” she says matter-of-fact.
“You asked the doctor?” I ask surprised.
“No. I’ve been doing research.” She gives me a naughty smile.
“And what all did the research say?” I ask, brushing some blond hair off of her shoulder.
She places her arms around my neck. “Well, it did say that some positions can affect it.” She tries to shrug carelessly. “So we will just have to go slow.”
Can I do that? Can I go slow and make love to her? Honestly I don’t know. I wrap my arms around her waist and stand up, making her giggle. I walk her into my bedroom and lay her gently on my bed.
She looks up to me and smiles. It lights up the room. “You’re so beautiful,” I say, cupping her face with my hand.
“Quit stalling,” she says, brushing off my compliment.
“I’m serious,” I say leaning over her.
She shakes her head and looks away from me. “Why don’t you wear your glasses anymore?” I’ve been wondering this for a while now.
She looks up at me and says, “Because they made me look stupid.”
I pull back and look down at her as if she’s crazy. “What are you talking about?” I loved to see her in her glasses. She looks hot now, but they made her look sexy as hell.
She lets out a sigh as she places her hands on my chest. “I was always made fun of in school because I wore them,” she says quietly.
I reach up and cup her face with my hand. “Missy, you are beautiful. If anyone made fun of you it was because they were jealous.”
Her body shakes under mine as she laughs like I just told her the funniest joke possible. “Why is that funny?”
She takes a few deep breaths to stop her laughter. “Because no one was jealous of me. But thanks. That was nice,” she adds before she gives me a smile.
I smile down at her. I know she had a hard time in school. It didn’t take a genius to see how self-conscious and shy she was when I first met her. I know she didn’t have many friends, and I also know that she felt out of place. And all of that changes now. She’s mine. And I will show her just how truly beautiful she is and just how much she is wanted.
I lean down and capture her lips with mine once again as I slide my right hand down her side and over her hip. “Open your legs, baby,” I breathe against her lips as I break off the kiss.
Her legs fall open and my hand makes its way to her pussy. She inhales deeply and arches her back as I run my finger up and down her slit, teasing her.
She lifts her hips, needing me to enter her but I don’t. “Don’t tease me,” she says desperately. “Fuck me.”
I smile. She’s a fast learner. I like to hear what a woman wants. I want to hear them demand it. I’m not into that begging shit.
I allow my finger to slide inside of her and I growl at how tight her pussy is.
She clenches around it and it pulls me in further. I slowly pull it out and then add another finger as I enter her. I still can’t get over that she had only ever been with me. I wanted to rip Braxton’s head off when I knew he was with her. Now that I know she turned him down—I’ll let him survive.
“Oh. God,” she breathes, arching her back as I work my two fingers in and out of her painfully slow. “Tate,” she cries when my thumb massages her clit.
“Hmm?” I ask nuzzling her neck. The scent of coconuts fills my nose and I groan.
“Fuck me, Tate,” she says breathlessly.
Whispering into her ear. “With what?” I demand and her body breaks out in goosebumps.
She swallows hard before answering. “Your cock.”
I remove my fingers from her soaking wet pussy and she sighs at the loss. I was gonna try to take this slow but the way she tells me to fuck her with my cock…is irresistible.
I lean over her and yank open my nightstand to pull out a condom.
I sit back on my knees and rip it open before rolling it over my cock. I then very slowly slide it into her hot pussy inch by inch trying not to hurt her.
She reaches up and places her hands around my neck and she pulls my face down to hers. Her lips attack mine in a furious kiss and I kiss her back just as passionately. I pull my hips back and thrust forward. Trying to go as slow as possible but it’s so hard. I just want to pound into her. I’ve never known someone to be so fucking tight.
She pulls her lips away from mine taking in a deep breath. “What are you doing?” she asks as her heels dig into my ass. “Why are you going so slow?” she questions breathlessly.
“I don’t wanna hurt you,” I say but my hips pick up the pace as the words leave my lips. I don’t want to hurt her but that’s how I like it. That’s how I need it. Hard and fast. No emotion. Just fucking! Why am I trying to be gentle with her?
She shakes her head. “Don’t worry about me.” I pull out of her and then slowly inch forward allowing my cock to feel every tight inch of her. “Just fuck me,” she demands and I give in.
I run a hand up and under her head and tangle my fingers in her blond hair. I yank on her, causing her head to snap back, and she gasps. “Want me to fuck you?” I growl as I slam my cock into her pussy and I feel the wetness run down my balls. “I’ll fuck you.” I pull back and then slam forward once again.
She whimpers. “Tell me you’re mine,” I demand as the bed bangs against the wall from my thrusts. Since w
hen is fucking not enough for me? I feel like I need to physically mark her for all to see that she belongs to me. That I’m the only one who has ever been here and no one else is allowed.
“I’m yours,” she cries out as her pussy tightens around me.
“And what do you want me to do?” I growl as my free hand wraps around her exposed throat—not cutting off her air but aggressively holding it down to the mattress as I keep her head held back by her hair.
“Fuck me,” she cries.
I pull out and slam into her over and over until I feel her pussy tighten around me and she’s screaming out my name.
Once she comes, I give one last thrust before I stiffen and come in the condom.
I fall to the bed beside of her breathing heavy and heart pounding. “Are you okay?” I ask running a hand softly over her throat.
She smiles softly as she looks up to the ceiling trying to catch her breath as well. “I’m fine, Tate.”
I place my hand on her stomach and her head falls to the side to look at me. “I would have told you if I wasn’t,” she says, and I nod my head.
“Just checking,” I say before I get out of bed and discard my condom. I hate those damn things. I hardly ever wear them. The girls that I usually fuck are ones that I fuck on a regular basis. Unless it’s the ones I pick up at a bar like I had Ginger—then there’s no way I would fuck without one.
I lie back down in bed and pull her body into mine. “I’m all sweaty,” she says trying to pull away.
“I like it.” I kiss her head softly and she lets out a giggle. We lie in my bed for a few seconds calming our breathing and her shaky body before I hear a vibrating noise. “Is that one of our phones?” I ask. If it’s not hers, it’s mine.
“Yeah,” she says but makes no move to get up. “I’m sure it’s my mother.”
I place my hand behind my head as I hold her tightly to me just thinking about how much she stirs inside of me. How much power she has over me. I’m supposed to be a monster. I’m not supposed to worry about others or cuddle after I fuck a woman. Yet here I am. And it feels good. It feels good for her to want me. For her to need me. Like I’m her protector. That’s all I ever tried to do for my mother and I failed.
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