“I know another wild beast I would like to tame,” said Felix, leaning over to give me a kiss.
“Say what about me?” asked Pepe, who was standing in the door. He was obviously still in a bad mood from being overlooked the previous night.
“I’ll get you some nice crispy bacon,” I said. “Later.”
Felix gave me a strange look, then turned around and saw Pepe in the doorway.
“Oh, you’re just talking to your dog,” he said.
“Just like you talk to yours!” I said.
I swear Felix turned pink. “But it’s our secret,” he said, leaning down to give me another kiss.
“Of course!” I murmured.
Pepe’s request for bacon reminded me that I wanted to call Mrs. Snelson and tell her about the plan to have her adopt Bruiser. After Felix left and I finally got out of bed, I dialed her number.
“Oh, hello, Geri!” she said when she heard my voice. “I was going to call you and thank you, but I’ve been so busy. Right now I’m in the middle of making breakfast.”
I remembered Mrs. Snelson’s breakfast with pleasure. Those fluffy eggs. The real butter on the toast. But not the coffee. Her coffee was always dreadful.
“What’s that, darling?” she asked someone in the room with her. Then she whispered into the receiver, “I’ve got company.”
“A certain gentleman?” I asked.
“We’ve been spending a lot of time together,” said Mrs. Snelson. Then I heard barking in the background.
“What’s that?”
“Oh, Prince wants another piece of bacon.”
“ Prince?”
“Yes, well, we rescued that dog that was chained up across the street.”
“Bruiser?”
“Was that his name? We changed it to Prince. Because he really is a prince, aren’t you, love?” A sharp bark seemed to confirm that.
“How did you get him loose?”
“Gumshoe used a bolt cutter. He’s quite a handy man!” And she gave a girlish giggle.
I told her about the film crew and how they would like to film her with the dog. She was happy to cooperate and told me to pass along her number to the director.
“Well, I guess the Case of the Romantic Marauder is solved,” I said.
“Yes, I’m very happy with your work. Tell your boss to send me an invoice. “
I promised to do so and hung up, rather bemused. “Bruiser and Gumshoe are getting your crispy bacon,” I told Pepe.
He did not reply.
I thought I would call Jimmy G while he was on my mind. I hadn’t heard from him since he had rescued Amber the previous day. But when I called the office, Amber answered the phone.
“What are you doing there?” I asked.
“Your job, apparently. Jimmy G says you don’t cut it as a girl Friday.”
“How many times do I have to tell him I am not his girl Friday!”
“Isn’t that the truth,” said Amber. “Because now Amber is Jimmy G’s girl Friday.”
“No! What? That can’t be true.”
You don’t think Amber is capable of doing your job?”
“It’s not my job!” I said again. “Never mind, let me speak to Jimmy G.”
“Jimmy G is unavailable right now,” said Amber. Something in the tone of her voice made me think that he was sitting right there, probably leaning back in his chair with his fedora tipped over his eye and winking at her.
“Well, tell him I want to get paid for the Mrs. Snelson case,” I said.
“Snelling?”
“No. Snelson.”
“Nelson?”
“No, Snelson. Just like Nelson but it starts with an S.”
“What a weird name,” said Amber. “You’ll have to spell that for me. And slowly.”
“Just tell Jimmy G the old lady with the pooping dog problem. He’ll know who I’m talking about. And remind him that we’re splitting the fee sixty-forty. That’s what we agreed on.”
“Amber will make sure Jimmy G gets the message,” said Amber primly.
No sooner had I hung up the phone than it rang again. It was Dr. Mallard’s office calling to say they had a last minute cancellation and the doctor could see me and my Chihuahua.
“But he’s talking again,” I said. I looked at Pepe who was sitting in the kitchen doorway with his back to me, clearly giving me the silent treatment. “Actually, I would like to see the vet as soon as possible,” I said.
“No, absolutely not, there is no need for me to see a doctor. I promise I will never stop talking to you again,” said Pepe, turning around quickly.
“Dr. Mallard can see you at one,” said the receptionist.
“Is that a threat?” I asked Pepe.
“Is the vet a threat?” he asked me.
“OK, you win,” I said.
“I’m not sure I understand,” said the receptionist.
“Never mind,” I said. “My dog has just promised he will never stop talking to me again.”
“That’s lovely!” said the receptionist in a falsely cheerful voice. “We wish you the best of luck.”
I had just taken a shower and was getting dressed so I could head to the store to get a treat for Pepe when the phone rang again.
“What now?” I said, snatching it up. Pepe was dancing at my feet, eager for his promised reward.
“Geri? It’s Colleen Carpenter. Do you remember me?”
“Yes, of course I remember you,” I said. Colleen owned a lavender farm in Sequim. She was also the owner of a lovely black and white dog named Phoebe, who had captured Pepe’s fancy.
“How are you? And Phoebe?” I asked.
That got Pepe’s attention. “Tell her Pepe is thinking of her every day,” he said.
“Pepe is still head over heels for Phoebe,” I said.
“Well, funny you should say that,” said Colleen. “Because Phoebe just had puppies.”
“What?”
“What is it, Geri? Did something happen to Phoebe?”
“Yes, and the puppies bear a striking resemblance to your dog.”
“Really?” I stared at Pepe. It must have scared him.
“Tell me she is all right,” he moaned. “My love. The moon around which I revolve.”
“How many?” I said.
“Five and they are all healthy.”
“Did you have to call a vet?” I asked.
“I must speak to her,” said Pepe. “She is the only one for me. I will eschew all other loves now that I realize what I have lost.” He was pacing in circles around my feet.
“Yes, but we didn’t call Hugh Williams. We used the old vet in town.”
“That’s good,” I said. “We never trusted Dr. Williams.”
“Is it terminal?” asked Pepe. “Is she dying? How much time do we have to be together before the end approaches?”
“No, no, no,” I said. “She’s not sick. She’s not dying.”
“What?”
“My dog—he’s worried about Phoebe,” I told Colleen. I spoke to Pepe. “Phoebe just had puppies. Five of them. And apparently they look just like you! How can that be?”
A look came over Pepe’s face that I had never seen there before. It was almost like he had seen a ghost. He shivered and then a big smile spread across his face. If you don’t think a dog can smile, then you have never seen a happy Chihuahua.
“I suppose it happened in the usual way,” he said smugly. “When can I see them?’
“Pepe wants to meet his progeny,” I told Colleen.
“We’d love to see you again,” she said. “Any time.”
After picking up some beef jerky for Pepe at the local grocery store, I decided I should go over to Jimmy G’s office and find out what was happening with Amber. I wanted my phone back. And it would give me a good chance to make sure Jimmy G sent out the invoice to Mrs. Snelson.
Jimmy G’s office is in an old brick building on the edge of downtown, just about a block from the Greyhound bus terminal. T
he elevator wasn’t working so Pepe and I headed up the echoing concrete stairwell to the third floor. As usual, the building seemed to be deserted, although there were signs on the frosted glass doors that lined the hallway, indicating the occupants were engaged in various enterprises including an import-export business, a bookkeeping service, and whatever Center Stage Productions produced. Jimmy G’s office was at the end of the hall and I could hear Amber’s voice prattling away even before we opened the door.
As we walked in, she scrambled off Jimmy G’s lap where she was poised with a steno notebook in one hand and a pen in the other, and stood by his side. Jimmy G looked abashed. His fedora was sitting on the desk so I could see the bald spot on the top of his head and a big lipstick imprint on his cheek.
Otherwise, he was dressed like normal, if you consider it normal to dress up like a detective from the forties in a striped shirt, a wide tie, and red suspenders. It was Amber’s outfit that surprised me. She was all dolled up in a form-fitting navy blue dress that looked like it came straight out of an old-fashioned pin-up magazine and her hair was twisted back into a French bun.
“I’ll just type that up right away, Mr Gerrard,” she said, and pranced over to my desk in the corner. She sat down at the old typewriter and started batting at the keys.
“What’s going on here?” I asked.
“Got a new girl Friday,” said Jimmy G.
“But I’m your girl Friday!” I said.
“You told Jimmy G not to call you that,” he said.
“Well . . .”
“Plus you told Jimmy G you wanted to be a full partner in the firm.”
“Well, that’s true,” I said. “It’s just a little hard to come in and find out I’ve been replaced.”
I glanced over at Amber bent over her task, poking at the keys with two fingers. A tiny and fluffy black-and-brown Chihuahua was sitting in a basket beside the desk. She was wearing a little crocheted pink top. Pepe scurried over there and murmured something into her ear. She growled and nipped at Pepe, who jerked back from her.
“Party Girl!” Amber admonished her dog.
“What were you doing, Pepe?” I asked my dog.
“I was merely whispering sweet-nothings in her ear,” he said innocently. “Perhaps she has no appreciation for the Bard of Avon.”
“So what can we do for you?” asked Jimmy G, clapping his fedora back on top of his head. He leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on his desk, which contained the usual clutter of paper bags and newspapers, not to mention a full ashtray.
“I came to pick up the invoice for Mrs. Snelson,” I said. “I think I’ll deliver it to her myself. So I can make sure I get my cut.”
“I’ll get right on that as soon as I finish typing up this dictation,” said Amber.
“And I wanted to know if you ever called the Marshalls and told them you were safe,” I asked Amber. “I need my cell phone back!”
“Sure, I told them,” she said. “They gave me a number to give to you. Now where did I put that?”
She began poking around in the desk drawer.
Just then the phone rang. Amber jumped up to get it, tottering a little on the high heels she wore.
“Gerrard Agency,” she said in a sing-song voice. She definitely had the secretarial role down pat. Her forehead crinkled as she listened to the caller. “No, this is not Geri. This is Amber.” She looked distressed. “Hold on, I can’t understand you. No, don’t hang up! Geri’s right here!”
She motioned to me to come over and grab the receiver of the black rotary phone.
“Geri! Thank God, I found you!” It was my sister, Teri. I recognized her voice immediately, although it sounded like she was hyperventilating. “I called your home phone and you weren’t there. So I thought I’d try your work.”
“Teri! What’s going on? Are you OK?”
“No, I’m not OK! There was a shoot-out at the hotel. A couple of big guys shot the Marshalls who were supposed to be protecting me. I just barely got away. Can you come and get me?”
“Where are you?” Jimmy G and Amber were both staring at me. They could hear the panic in my voice. So could Pepe who was right at my feet.
“I just ran up the street and I ended up at some little coffee shop on Capitol Hill.” She turned away from the phone and asked someone, “What’s the name of this place?”
I heard a mumbled response in the background.
“Café Argento,” she said. “It’s a little coffee shop on the corner of Olive and Twelfth.”
“I know where it is,” I said. Brad had sold some fancy mirrors to the owner and I helped him deliver them. After that I used to stop by for a coffee whenever I was in the vicinity, because I loved the friendly atmosphere. “Did you call the cops?”
“I don’t trust them. If the Marshalls couldn’t protect me, then—”
“I’ll come and get you,” I told my sister. “Just stay safe. I can be there in ten minutes, maybe less.”
“What’s going on?” Amber asked.
“Hurry!” Teri told me, then hung up.
“What is it, Geri?” asked Pepe.
“I’ve got to go rescue my sister!” I said. “She’s just escaped from some guys who tried to kill her.”
“Your sister Teri? She’s the reason they kidnapped me,” said Amber. “They kept asking me about her, even though I told them I didn’t know her. What did she do, anyway?”
“Long story,” I said, whirling around and heading for the door. “She’s scheduled to be an eyewitness in a murder trial. I’ll tell you more about it later; I’ve got to go.”
“Do you need help?” That was Amber, asking with a gleam in her eye. “I would like to meet her!” Party Girl jumped to her feet, apparently eager for action. I thought I heard her say. “Oh, goodie, another rumble!”
My boss rose to his feet and adjusted his fedora so it slanted down over one eye. “Jimmy G will drive. My bird’s way faster than your old Toyota,” he added, referring to his old, red Thunderbird convertible.
“Andale!” said Pepe, beating all of us to the front door.
Pepe’s Blog: How to Handle a Car Chase
There is nothing I like more than a good car chase. Unfortunately, they are better on television than in reality, especially if you are a little dog. The force with which the driver brakes and swerves around corners can throw a little dog all over the interior of the vehicle and that is not pleasant.
The safest way for a dog to travel in a car is inside a nice soft pet carrier that is securely fastened with a seat belt. (Not, I might point out in a smelly plastic crate in the back of a stinky dogmobile like the one Felix drives.) But such a device was not available in this situation.
So the second best thing, the thing that I did, was to jump into Geri’s arms and have her hold me close while Jimmy G drove like a maniac. I even closed my eyes for a little bit. I do not like the way Jimmy G drives. Also I was storing up my courage for the upcoming confrontation.
Chapter 31
We all piled into the Thunderbird, Amber with Party Girl in the front seat, me with Pepe curled up in my arms in the back, and drove up the hill to Café Argento in no time flat. I filled Amber in about my sister and the gangsters along the way.
Café Argento is on the ground floor of a brand-new condominium complex. A wine store occupied the other retail space and both flanked a small fountain in a courtyard that led to the main entrance of the building.
It is hard to find parking in the Capitol Hill neighborhood, even more difficult because it’s near Seattle Central Community College, so students attending classes take up most of the parking not being used by people patronizing the many nearby restaurants, bars, and coffee shops. As Jimmy G circled the block for the second time, I finally convinced him to let me and Pepe out and we dashed across Twelfth Street and into Café Argento.
But Teri was nowhere in sight. A guy with glasses was sitting working on a laptop at one of the narrow tables against the wall. Two women had
their heads bent over some papers in front of them on one of the square tables near the windows. They looked up in surprise when I skidded to a stop in the middle of the restaurant.
“Where is she?” I asked out loud.
“Hey!” That was Pepe coming up behind me. “You could have been hurt running into traffic that way. Did you not hear me tell you to heel?”
The owner, Faizel, a handsome guy with dark hair and dark eyes, waved me over to the counter. “Can I help you?” he asked.
“I’m looking for my sister,” I said.
He raised his eyebrows.
“Teri!” I added.
“You two look alike,” he whispered. “Follow me!”
He came out from behind the counter and used a key to open the door to a storage room that was lined with silver shelves full of restaurant items: bags of coffee beans, stacks of napkins. And in the middle, sitting hunched up on a stepstool, was my sister Teri. She was wearing black sweatpants, a pink t-shirt, a black hoodie, and a pair of grey sneakers.
“Geri!” she jumped up and flew into my arms.
I held her tight. “I’ve been so scared,” Teri told me, her head buried into the crook of my neck. I could feel her trembling.
Faizel left us and went back into the shop as Jimmy G and Amber entered. I saw Terri shrink back. “It’s OK,” I said. “They’re with me.”
I waved them over to the storage closet and introduced everyone. Teri still seemed reluctant to come out of the closet. Amber was lingering by the door.
Suddenly, Party Girl started growling.
“Did you try to woo her again?” I asked Pepe.
I was interrupted by Amber shouting out, “Oh my God! It’s him!”
“Who?”
“Him!” She was pointing out the window. “Isn’t that the gangster you were telling me about?”
I looked to see where she was pointing and saw an older man with a pork pie hat across the street from the café. He seemed agitated. He was pacing up and down, and seemed to be muttering to himself.
“Hey, that’s Phil!” said Jimmy G.
“You mean Phil Pugnetti?” I asked. “The guy Teri is supposed to be testifying against?”
The Silence of the Chihuahuas Page 22