I feel almost lightheaded as I come down from my high of having my cock in Stella’s sweet mouth. I help her up to her feet and guide her straight to a seated weight bench. She gasps when I take a step away to pull her pants down, along with her panties, straight down to her ankles. I leave them there without bothering to have her kick them off. I’m hard again when I twist her around and bend her over, her ass in the air. Her back arches at the same time I shove my cock inside of her warmth.
She rests her palms on the front of the seat and throws her head back to look at me. “I have a feeling I’m about to work off that pizza slice and more.”
“Okay, now I’ve definitely worked up an appetite,” Stella says.
We’re sitting on the floor, panting, and trying to catch our breath after the best workout I’ve ever had. Hands fucking down I’ll never have anything as hot as Stella bent over a weight bench taking my cock.
I crawl over to the pizza box to snag us both a slice. “There’s no doubt you deserve this. I think you burned every calorie you’ve eaten this month from fucking me so hard.”
She grabs the slice from me with both hands. “I’m almost too exhausted to feed myself.” I set my piece on the floor and grab hers, positioning it at her mouth as she opens up and takes a giant bite. She laughs after chewing it up. “We’re sitting on the floor sans pants and stuffing our faces with pizza.”
I chuckle. “I have a feeling this is the most romantic post-sex situation there’s ever been.”
We spend the next five minutes finishing off our food and chugging down our waters. I’m chewing my last bite when I notice Stella’s mood shift into something that resembles nervousness.
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” I say, scooting in closer.
She waves off my question. “It’s nothing.”
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” I repeat.
She crosses her legs, and the nervousness seems to change into shyness. “Will you sleep in my bed tonight?” she whispers.
I grin. “Are you ready to take this relationship to the next level, Ms. Mendes?”
I’m happy when I get a slight giggle from her, and she pushes my shoulder. “I know you think I’m joking around, but I’m not. I’m serious.”
I cross my legs next, mirroring her stance. “I’d love nothing more than to share your bed with you.” She looks up at me with a smile. “Only because I’m sure it’s a lot more comfortable than mine.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re so damn annoying.” She pauses. “I mean … is that taking a step too far from a casual sexual relationship?” she asks. “This is new to me.”
“You do remember that I’ve only fucked one chick in my entire life? It’s new to the both of us. How about this – we make our own rules since neither one of us knows what’s in the sex only relationship playbook? Sound good?”
She nods. “Sounds good.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Stella
I haven’t felt this content in so long.
My bed, my satin sheets, have never felt so comfortable as they do right now while I’m wrapped in Hudson’s arms, his legs curled into mine, and the heat of his chest pressed into my back.
I’m swept up in this cheesy-happy daze. I don’t want to shut my eyes and sleep because I’m afraid I’ll wake up and it won’t be real. Hudson had been so distant when we fist met, and the more he’s coming around, the more I’m afraid to lose him.
I was still coming down from my multiple orgasms when I invited him into my bed and then broached the whole casual sex talk. Our conversation cleared up some of my confusion, but not all of it. I’m still not sure where his head is, where he wants to go with this, or if his feelings are as serious as mine. He’s letting me in – something I know he hasn’t done with very many people – something I know has been hard for him, so I know I’m edging myself inside of him. But will he let me instill myself there?
Or am I only a pit stop on his journey?
Will he decide to change his life around and stay here with me or take my heart back with him to Iowa? My stomach cramps with the thought of him leaving me and falling in love with a woman from his world – a girl his mom loves and enjoys the same things as him – a woman who will build a life with him in Bluebeech.
Me? I’ve discovered I don’t need a man that blends in with my lifestyle anymore. It hasn’t worked in the past. I don’t care if he doesn’t come from the Hollywood world. I only care that he makes me happy.
I’ve finally found myself a good man.
“Everything okay,” he whispers into my ear, startling me. “I’m not squeezing the life out of you or anything?”
I shake my head. “No … just trouble sleeping. You’re still awake?”
“There’s something I need to tell you.” Something is troubling in his voice as he says it into the darkness of the room. “And I’m only saying this in case it happens. I don’t want to scare the shit out of you, or you to think there’s something wrong with me.”
I gulp. “Go on.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“What? Do you piss the bed or something?”
He chuckles. “I wish it were as easy as controlling my bladder.” He pauses. “I have dreams.”
“So do I. I think the majority of people do.”
I can feel his chest moving behind me as he lightly chuckles. “Let me rephrase that for you. They’re more along the lines of nightmares … flashbacks … of shit that I’ve witnessed but never want to think about again.”
I can’t stop myself from shifting so we’re facing. He can’t see my face, but I want him to know I’m here for him. I’ll never ask him to leave my bed. “So like PTSD?”
“Something like that. They’re the worst the first few weeks I’m back and then start to decline over time. It took me six months to get rid of them last time.”
I thought my heart hurt at the thought of losing him. That doesn’t compare to the sting of pain passing through when I think about him going through that. I can’t imagine being afraid to fall asleep because you don’t know what’s going to haunt you.
“Have you had any since you’ve been home this time?” I ask. “Since you’ve been here?”
“Every night.” There’s a brief moment of silence. “It’s not a big deal. Cameron would wake me up and tell me to stop. I toss and turn and make weird sounds, according to her. I’m only telling you this in case it happens tonight.”
I run my hand over his shoulder. “You could never scare me. You make me feel safer than anyone I’ve ever known.” I grab his hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t want to burden you.”
“You can tell me. I want to know anything you’re willing to give. I’m all ears, Hudson. I’m all yours.” Give me anything. Give me it all. Open your heart. Open your wounds. Let me try my best to heal them. All of those words are at the tip of my tongue, but the fear of him leaving my bed stops them. How do you beg someone for their all when they’re only pulling out little by little each time?
His voice goes hoarse. “I’ve seen stuff I wish I didn’t. I’ve had guys eat breakfast with me, show me pictures of their families, tell me their wives were pregnant with a new baby, and then I’d watch them die hours later. I’ve dragged children …” His voice starts to break. “Small children out of rubble. Some of them dead. Some of them alive. Their faces haunt me. It all haunts me.” He reaches out and rubs my face, and I settle into the comfort of his palm. “I don’t want to worry you.” He bends forward to kiss my forehead. “Maybe if you’re in my arms it’ll make me sleep better.”
I sigh dramatically. “I guess I’ll have to do it then.”
He chuckles in my ear. “You’re amazing. Thank you.”
I smile.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hudson
The shrill of my phone ringing wakes me from my sleep, and by the way the sheets are moving, I can tell it did the same to Stella. It has to be early, nowhere nea
r sunrise. I release Stella to scoot to the edge of the bed and grab my phone. Fear rips through me when I see Dallas’ name on the screen.
This isn’t a call to chat.
It’s a call that’s about to wreck our world.
I hurriedly answer, shoving the phone to my ear. “What’s going on?” I ask, my heart pounding against my chest so hard I can feel it in my ears.
“It’s Lucy.” His voice cracks. If he goes on, he’s going to lose it.
“I’m on my way.”
“Thank you, brother.” The call ends.
I roll out of bed and start to shuffle around the room as quietly as I can, hoping Stella fell back asleep. I snag my pants and attempt to shove my foot through the leg, but it’s difficult to pull them on. Maybe it’s the nerves.
I freeze when the light switches on. Stella yawns as she pulls her hand away from the lamp and situates herself with her back against the headboard.
“Hudson,” she whispers.
“Yeah?”
“You’re putting my pants on.” I look down and realize I’m trying to shove my leg into white, skin-tight skinny jeans. I pull them off my foot and lay them over a chair.
“What’s going on?” she asks in concern.
“That was Dallas,” I answer, my voice hoarse. I go on the hunt for my jeans. I know I dumped them somewhere around here.
We exchange nervous looks. She knows but isn’t going to insinuate anything until I tell her. “What did he say?”
“Lucy is gone.” My voice sounds almost lifeless.
Her hand flies up to her now pale face. Even though she suspected it, it’s still a shock. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, Hudson.”
I run a hand through my hair. “I hate to do this since Willow is gone, but I have to find someone to cover this job for me. I’m sorry, Stella, but I need to go home.”
She nods. “I understand. There’s no way I’d let you stay.”
“Do you have any idea how fast we can get a replacement? Is there an agency or something we can go through?” I grab my jeans when I spot them on the other side of the room and have no trouble getting them on this time.
“There’s no need for that because I’m coming with you.”
I stop mid-zip of my fly. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I’m coming with you to Iowa.” I’m staring at her, my mouth gaping. “Dallas is my friend. I want to be there for the both of you.” She shyly looks down and starts to play with her hands underneath the sheets. “I mean … if that’s okay with you.”
“I’m always okay with having you around, but are you sure it’s a good idea? Won’t Tillie have your ass?”
“I don’t give a shit what that wench says. I’ll get my bags packed and ask Willow to book us a flight.”
“Thank you for this.” It’s big step for her … for us. She’s coming to Bluebeech to be there as a support system for my family and me.
“You don’t have to thank me for being there for you, Hudson. You’ve been doing it for me every day since the moment you walked into my home.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Stella
I texted Willow and asked her to book us the first flight she could, no matter what the cost, while I threw everything I needed into my suitcase. Luckily, she managed to snag us a small, private plane that could depart in two hours. It’s not going to fly straight into Bluebeech, considering it’s in the middle of bum-fuck-Egypt, so we’ll have to take a car the rest of the way.
“Willow wanted me to tell you that she’s sorry for your family’s loss,” I say after the pilot informs us that he’s ready for takeoff.
Devastation has taken over Hudson. It’s everywhere – on his face, the way he moves, how he’s barely spoken ten words since we left my house. And those words were only telling me how grateful he was that I was doing this for him.
He glances up, giving me an artificial smile. “Tell her thank you.”
Dallas has told me stories about their family. He started dating Lucy in the days of recess, so there’s no doubt that Hudson sees her as a sister – as someone part of their family.
“Have you ever been to Iowa?” he asks.
My stomach settles at his push for conversation. I’ve never lost anyone close to me, so I can’t connect with him in that way. The only loss I’ve ever dealt with is a relationship, and that’s not shit compared to death.
“No,” I answer. “But Dallas has described it pretty well – how it’s like one of those small towns that’s in their own little world. It’s one of those place people think only exist in TV shows. He told me about the chaos the two of you caused. People borrow sugar and milk from each other and leave their doors unlocked.”
I shudder. That shit would never happen in LA.
Robbers. Rapists. Fucking psychopaths.
It’d be a cold day in hell before I’d leave my bedroom unlocked, let alone my front door.
“That’s Bluebeech,” he says, a hint of a smile. “Living in a small town has its ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. There’s always something that feels good about going home.”
“So you’d never move away? Live anywhere else?” I ask this question so casually but am dying to hear his answer. It’ll help with my uncertainties of our future.
He shakes his head. “All you need in life is family and a good place to come home to. That’s Bluebeech for me.”
His answer is sweet but that doesn’t stop it from plunging pain through me. My naïve dream that Hudson will pack up and move into my house is nothing but that – a dream. He’ll never be mine because I’m not that girl for him. I can’t have a career in a place like Bluebeech.
The career or the man.
Losing which one would make me feel the emptiest?
My phone beeps with another text. “Willow wants to know where she should book me a room,” I read out loud. I want to stay with Hudson, but I can’t assume his bed is open. Hell, my bed was only open for less than ten hours.
“This is going to make me sound like a bum, but my ex kept the place we were renting, and I haven’t had a chance to look for anything else,” he answers. “You have three options. We can crash at Dallas’ or my parent’s place, or there’s a bed and breakfast in town. The nearest hotel is over an hour away, and trust me, it’s not anywhere you’d want to lay your head.”
That’s somewhat of an invite, right?
Unfortunately, he laid the decision at my feet. Inviting myself into someone else’s home feels uncomfortable, especially since I’d already invited myself here in the first place.
“I can stay at the bed and breakfast,” I finally manage to say. “I’ll have Willow book it for me. Do you know the name of it?”
He cups his hand over my knee and squeezes it. “I do, but I was hoping that wasn’t the decision you’d make.”
I suck in a breath. “You want me to stay with you?”
His face softens, like he’s somewhat more at ease. “Of course I do.”
I stare down at his hand - something about it screams ownership. “Do you think Dallas will be okay with that? Having me there while he’s grieving?” Maybe I can convince him to stay at the bed and breakfast with me.
“I think he’d enjoy the company, but if you don’t feel comfortable, it’s not a big deal. You’ll have to stay at the bed and breakfast by yourself, though.”
I’m caught off guard. “What? Why?”
“If I’m sleeping in there with you, people will know something is going on between us, and we can’t let your dirty little secret out, can we?”
His voice changed with those last words. The mood shifted. My decision to fake date Eli is haunting me again.
Hudson’s sister is picking us up from the airport. To say I’m a nervous wreck to meet his family is an understatement. I spent the entire flight debating with myself on whether I’d made the right decision coming here.
Willow didn’t question me once when I told her I was coming with Hudson. No one
has informed Tillie of my last minute decision, but I have a feeling she’s going to throw something or strangle a cat when she finds out. I’m only hoping she’s too busy making someone else’s life miserable to worry about mine at the moment.
Hudson carries our bags, and I follow him through an airport that’s definitely no LAX. The change of weather smacks into me when we walk outside where a petite, dark-haired girl wearing scrubs is leaning back against a pink Mustang. I recognize her from the picture on Dallas’ Instagram.
“Private, eh?” she says, pushing herself off the car. “Small town boy is turning into Mr. Big Shot.”
Hudson narrows his eyes at her … or at the car, I’m not exactly sure. “Nice to see you too, baby sister. I told you not to drive the Pink Panther,” he says, giving her a hug. “It’s too small for three people. Why didn’t you take mom’s car like I told you?”
“Her name isn’t the Pink Panther, first off,” she says, squinting her eyes at him. “And had I driven mom’s car to work I would’ve been late picking your ungrateful ass up. I told you my hours at the hospital are nuts. They wouldn’t even let me off my shift early when I told them about Lucy.”
The three of us flinch at her last statement.
Hudson’s hand tightens around the handle of my Louis Vuitton luggage. “You need to quit that fucking job then,” he growls. “That’s bullshit.”
Color rises in her cheeks. She looks almost sleep deprived. “I can’t quit my job because I have bills and an ass-load of student loans to pay off.” She walks to the back of the car to pop the trunk. “Unless you hit the lottery and want to pay them?”
“We both wish,” he mutters, placing our bags in the trunk and slamming it shut.
Her face is blank when she shoves her hand my way. “I’m Lauren.”
I shake it. “Stella. Thank you for picking us up.”
Her lips tilt up into a fake smile. Is she upset about Lucy or mad that I tagged along?
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