She scowls. “Doubt it.”
I give her a forced smile, turn around, and leave the room.
“How about I show you around town?” Hudson asks when we walk out of the funeral home. I can feel the slight touch of his hand on my back as he guides me down the sidewalk towards the circle. “We can grab a cupcake from Magnolia’s Bakery, or I can take you out for a sandwich at The Grinder if you’re starving?”
I look around. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You know, given all the wandering eyes.”
“People will only assume I’m only being a gentleman and keeping you company. Plus, we like to show off our town to tourists.”
“What about Dallas?”
“Him and Maven are having a meeting with the Pastor. Dallas wants to keep Maven positive. He’s nervous because she keeps asking him how he’s sure Lucy is in heaven.”
“Poor thing. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through right now.”
“She’s strong, like her mother.” There’s a pause of silence – both of us deciding where to take the conversation from here. “So cupcake?”
I can’t help but break out a smile. “Only if you help me work it off later?”
“Of course.”
People wave and give Hudson hugs, welcome him home, and tell him they’re sorry for his loss, as we make our way down a sidewalk lined with benches and exquisite landscaping. Beautiful flowers of all colors are in full bloom around us. Everyone gives me friendly smiles and compliments when he introduces me. Bluebeech is so much different than LA. I’m not regularly looking over my shoulder to make sure someone isn’t getting too close.
I listen to Hudson tell me about all of the different landmarks, and he points out the spots where him and his friends caused the most trouble. He talks about his bright idea to toilet paper the gazebo for their senior prank. Instead of pressing charges against him for being the leader of the pack, the town decided his punishment would be to give pedicures to the patients in the local nursing home.
We stroll by a strip of businesses and stop at one with a bright yellow door. A bell rings over our heads when we walk in. It’s a small space with around eight tables in total, and it smells like absolute heaven … and calories. You walk in and know you’re going to be leaving the place ten pounds heavier.
“Holy shit,” I say as we make our way towards the glass counter filled with cupcakes galore. “I want one of everything.”
Hudson laughs. “We can do that if you want.”
The middle-aged woman behind the counter grins from ear to ear. She’s wearing a bright pink floral apron with streaks of icing scattered along it. “I knew you couldn’t come back into town and resist one of my red velvet cupcakes,” she says. “Now honey, I know people have been telling you they’re sorry all day, so I’mma let my sweets do the talking.” She reaches underneath the counter and pulls out a large box of assorted cupcakes. “I was plannin’ on dropping these off after closing, but might as well give ‘em to you while you’re here. Give these to Dallas and that angel of his, and I don’t mind if you snag a few for yourself.”
Hudson takes the box from her with a smile. “Will do, Maggie. Appreciate it. You know Maven loves these.”
Maggie looks over at me in excitement. I can tell she loves having new people here. “What’ll you have, sweetie?”
There are so many options. So freaking many options. I didn’t think I was hungry, but my stomach is growling all of a sudden. “What do you suggest?” I ask.
She points to Hudson. “The Barnes men seem to have a weakness for my red velvet, but I have a new strawberry cupcake that’s been quite the hit lately.”
I tilt my head forward. “Strawberry it is.”
Hudson pays for our cupcakes, and we take the table closest to the window where a bright ray of sunlight shines through.
“Why is everyone so nice around here?” I whisper.
He chuckles, looking proud. “It’s Bluebeech. It’s why I say I’d never want to live anywhere else. In this town, everyone has everyone’s back, we know what kind of cupcakes you like when you’re having a bad day, and will always lend a helping hand.” He takes a giant bite of his cupcake – red velvet.
“It’s so different from anything I’m used to.”
“You grew up in LA, right?”
I nod. “My mom knew from my first breath she wanted me to be famous, and where else but LA can you find that?”
“California is all you know. Bluebeech is all I know. You become familiar and comfortable with your surroundings.”
“I wish I’d grown up some place like this. It would’ve been a blast.”
He winks. “We accept newcomers of all ages if you ever want to make a life change. Kids love growing up here.”
That’s my cue to dig into my cupcake as I think of the best way to ask him this next question. Maggie was right. The strawberry is to die for.
“It’s where you want to raise your kids, isn’t it?” I finally ask, licking a glob of frosting from my thumb.
“Wouldn’t want to anywhere else,” he answers. “You want to raise yours in LA?”
“I never really thought about the having kids thing.”
“You don’t want to be a mother?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure I’d know how to be.” I lower my voice. “I’m scared I’d make a terrible one.”
He looks shocked at my admission. “Why would you think that?”
“I never had a good example.”
“So? Trust me, when that day comes, you’ll have that maternal instinct. I know it. You will be one incredible mom when the time comes, Stella.”
“Let’s hope so.” I wasn’t lying to him. I saw how my mother wanted me only as an opportunity. I saw the way Knox’s mom used him for money. I’ve heard about it so many times with people I’ve been friends with. Parents who don’t care. They’re either using them for their own benefit, or throwing money at them to go away because they have too much of it.
He winks. “Yeah, let’s hope so.” He reaches over and brushes his thumb over my lip, wiping away a layer of frosting. “Goddamn, I wish I could’ve used my tongue to clean that off instead.”
Chapter Thirty
Hudson
“When were you planning on telling me you’re sleeping with Stella?” Dallas asks, leaning back in his chair, his arms resting behind his neck.
We’re back at his place for the night. The family left about an hour ago, Maven is spending the night with my parent’s, and Stella is in the shower, so the two of us are in the kitchen reminiscing about the good times we had with Lucy over a beer.
I take a long drink before answering him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
His eyes are pinned to me. “Don’t bullshit me. I’m a grieving man. I deserve the truth. You took her around town.”
I snort. “So that means I’m fucking her?”
“No, but the way you look at each other means you are. The way you’re spending time with her. For fuck’s sake, you brought her here with you. She has you doing yoga and who knows what else. You’re fucking her. “
I rub at my temples. “You have too much shit going on right now to worry about my sex life. Hell, I’m more worried about you being okay than my sex life. My concern right now is you, how you’re doing, and what I can do to help you through it. We can talk about who I’m sticking my dick into at another time.”
Preferably never.
I’ve never been one to kiss and tell. I lost my virginity before all of my friends. Hell, before Dallas, but no one knew because I didn’t have a big ass mouth. I’d listen to my friends in the locker room brag about getting to third base when I’d been hitting home runs for months with Cameron. I’ve never felt like I had anything to prove to other guys, and I never wanted Cameron to feel like I was letting our secrets out.
“Appreciate it, brother, but I feel like all I’ve done today is talk about my feelings and thank people for their condolences. I don’t
want fucking condolences. I don’t want pity. I don’t want fucking cupcakes. I just want my Lucy back.” He looks up at the ceiling, shaking his head, and trying to hide the tears I know are impending. “She was perfect. The best wife a man could ask for. An amazing mother, the most beautiful and caring person I knew. Why, Hudson?” His voice escalates. “Why did God have to take her away from me? Why? I needed her! I loved her!”
I rub at my eyes, trying to prevent my own tears. “I wish I were better with words, but I’ll give it a shot. I know you needed Lucy, and she needed you. No one has a doubt in their minds that the love you had for each other was one of the strongest that’s ever been. She left us knowing that, too. Her heart was full knowing she lived a great life and that when she left us, you’d be a great dad to Maven.” My heart is thudding against my chest. “I’m glad you’re talking about it, though. Everyone has been scared of you holding it in.”
He scoffs. “Who the fuck are you now? Counselor Hudson?”
“You can’t always be the strong one,” I say. I bring myself up from the chair and snag him another beer from the fridge. I top the cap off before handing it to him. “This might help take the edge off.”
He draws in a deep breath, using the back of his hand to wipe his eyes, and gains better control of his voice. “Thanks, man.” He takes a long gulp and sighs. “So you and Stella, huh?”
I rub my hands down my pants. “You pissed about it?”
“No, actually more surprised than anything.”
I raise a brow. “That she’d mess around with someone like me?”
“Fuck no. I’m surprised you opened up your mind to see her for who she really is.” He tips his beer towards me. “I told you it was a good idea to go there. You owe me.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do a load of your laundry or some shit.”
“You still quitting when your two months are up?”
I run a hand through my hair. Stella and I haven’t had this conversation yet, but I know I don’t want to stay in California. “That’s my plan.”
“So what are you doing then?” His voice turns harsh. “You’re just going to leave her? Why are you leading her on if you’re not staying?”
“We’re fucking, Dallas. Not getting married. Having fun. She’s not going to give up her life. I’m not giving up mine.”
His eyes harden. “So you’ve had that talk? You’ve explained that under no circumstances are you staying there?”
“Kind of.” I’ve told her I’d never leave Bluebeech, isn’t that enough of a sign?
“Fucking liar.”
Dallas goes to his room to get some sleep, and I stroll downstairs to find Stella. She’s standing in front of the bathroom mirror with her back to me while messing with her wet hair.
I sneak up behind her to circle my arms around her hips and lightly start to dust kisses along her neck. She tilts it to the side, and I take that as an invitation for more. I was wrong. I stop, my arms falling to my side, when she pulls away and walks out of the room.
“What’s wrong?” I question, following her into the bedroom.
She starts looking through her suitcase for nothing in particular. “Nothing,” she mutters, picking up a t-shirt and then dropping it.
“Don’t bullshit me, Stella. If I did something to piss you off, tell me so I can fix it.” I don’t do the whole beating around the bush shit, and I think Stella had a habit of doing that in her last relationship. I want us to be upfront, open, and personal.
I grab her hand to shift her around so she’s facing me. She glances down at the floor. “This isn’t the right place to have this conversation.”
I get that. She wants to be respectful and not argue in Dallas’ home. I respect her for respecting him.
I tug on her hand and start walking towards the stairs. “Come on then.”
“What?” she stutters out.
“We’re going for a drive.”
“Now?” I nod. It’s eight o’clock – not too late.
I nod. “My truck is here.” I wink. “I’ll even buy you an ice cream cone if we make it to the shop in time.”
A tiny smile breaks through her lips. “Jesus, you and your sweets. If I stay here any longer, I’ll get an even fatter ass.”
I kill the engine to my truck when we make it to our destination – Bluebeech Edge River. It’s my favorite spot in town to come think. It’s also the choice spot for horny teenagers who have nowhere else to go to get laid.
I flip on the overhead light and look at her. “Tell me what I did.”
She sighs, waving her hand through the air. A light blush passes over her cheeks. This isn’t a conversation she’s ready to have. “You know what? It’s not even that important. Let’s get that ice cream, and we’ll talk about it another time.”
She’s shutting down on me. “It is fucking important if you’re upset about it. Tell me if I did something wrong so that I won’t do it again.”
She looks down at her lap. “I overheard your conversation with Dallas,” she whispers.
I pause, going through what we’d talked about in the kitchen to remember what I said that could’ve offended her. I’m drawing a blank. “And you’re pissed at me why?” She opens her mouth to answer me, but I keep talking before she has the chance to. “We’re not saying anything else until you look at me. Don’t hide. Tell me how you want me to fix this. If I did something stupid, don’t let me get away with it because you’re scared it’ll piss me off or something.”
She glances up at me, and my stomach twists when I see the sadness in her eyes. “You pretty much told him we’re fuck buddies and that you’re planning on bailing as soon as your time is up.” She shakes her head, her voice breaking. “What are we even doing, Hudson? Am I only a good time for you? Some rebound fling to mend your broken heart?”
I slam my hands down onto the steering wheel. This is my fault. “Fuck no, Stella! You aren’t a rebound. You sure aren’t a fling that means nothing to me. Am I confused? Hell yes. I’ve told you I don’t like to share. If you want to take the step, I’ll make you mine any minute of the goddamn day. If we did, we’d figure something out – a way to make it work between the two of us. Until then, I’m not planning on making a life with a woman who won’t even claim me. That’s why I fought so hard in the beginning, fought this connection, because I was scared of this happening.”
“So am I!” she screams. “I never expected to fall for someone who’s only here temporarily. I wasn’t planning on giving my heart to anyone else. What I’m scared of is your feelings aren’t as strong as mine. I’m afraid of dropping my life and risking everything I’ve built to have you walk away from me. You just got out of a long-term relationship that lasted over a decade. How can I be certain I’m not your rebound … your fuck buddy.”
“I have the same uncertainty as you, sweetheart. We’ve both been in long-term relationships that didn’t work out. We’re both opening our hearts up again after letting someone shatter them. I won’t deny that I’m still mending a broken heart, but that doesn’t mean I’m not against falling in love again.” My breathing quickens as my eyes meet hers. “In fact, I know I’m not.” I press my hand to my heart. “I can feel you inside, repairing the parts Cameron broke, and I’m afraid you will come in and break me again.” I’m shocked at my honesty. I don’t open up. I’m not an emotional dude.
She swipes a tear away. “I’m so afraid of getting hurt. I told myself I was anti-relationship because the heartache, the loss, it’s just too much for me.”
“Looks like we’re just two complicated souls looking for love.” She’s still crying. “Come here, Princess.” I grab her arm to drag her onto my lap. I start to brush away the tears until there’s none left. “I don’t want to make you cry. I told you, I’ll do everything in my power to never hurt you, but I want the same from you. Take this step with me. Go all in. Stop pretending to be with another man.” She shivers, her body shaking, when I run my hands down her arms. “I want you to be min
e. It killed me yesterday when I couldn’t even hold your hand – couldn’t even touch you in fear of what would happen to you. Goddamn, you have no idea how hard that’s killing me. I’m over here falling for a woman I can’t even claim.”
She’s breathing heavily while staring down at me with dilated pupils and starts to tremble in my arms. “I want that too,” she whispers.
“Then promise me you’ll do something about it. Promise me you’ll do whatever it takes to be mine. Promise me you’re ready to be all in.”
She nods repeatedly. “I promise. All in.” I can feel her heart beating as she presses her chest into me and rests her lips on mine. “Now claim me, Hudson Barnes.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Stella
I asked him to claim me.
And that’s exactly what he does.
His hand curls around the back of my head, and I waste no time devouring his mouth. This is the most intimate kiss we’ve ever shared. Something about confessing our feelings and telling each other we don’t want to walk away seems to have made everything so much fucking hotter. Every touch more exciting.
I tilt my head to the side, exposing my bare neck and silently pleading for more of anything he’s willing to give me. Touch me. Kiss me. Bite me. I shiver when his lips hit my neck, sucking hard on my sensitive skin, and I know I’m going to be covering up the evidence of his mouth there with makeup tomorrow.
He’s so addictive.
“Say you’re mine,” he gasps out. “All fucking mine.”
“I’m yours,” I moan out. “Only yours.”
The space is small, but I manage to get his pants down far enough for his thick cock to spring out. I scoot back to get a good grip on it and slowly start to stroke him. He pushes my dress up past my breasts, massaging them and pinching a nipple that nearly sends me over the edge, and then swipes my panties to the side before slowly lowering me onto him. I can feel the rough texture of the steering wheel biting into my back as I grind down on his lap and take in his full, perfect length.
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