by Jae
“Hey, we’re not babies,” Hannah said with her bottom lip stuck out.
Michelle and Amanda exchanged smiles.
“Of course not,” Amanda said.
They squeezed into the elevator, and Amanda enjoyed the warmth of Michelle’s thigh against hers all the way to the top floor. When they reached her apartment, she handed out bowls of ice cream to the girls.
Michelle shook her head at the offer of ice cream. “No, thanks. I ate that bucket of popcorn almost by myself. If I eat anything else, I’m gonna be sick.” She stood at the kitchen window and peered out. “I thought you had an ocean view?”
“I do. Come on; I’ll show you.” With one glance at the girls, who were busy devouring their ice cream, she took Michelle’s hand and led her to the bedroom.
Michelle waggled her eyebrows. “Oooh, ocean view. I get it. Is that like having a stamp collection?”
Amanda slapped her arm. “No. Look.” She moved to the window next to the bed, stood on her tiptoes, and craned her neck so she could see around the tanning salon and the twenty-four-hour pawn shop across the street.
After stepping next to her, Michelle did the same and laughed. “That tiny bit of blue in the distance is your ocean view?”
Amanda shrugged. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that size doesn’t matter?”
“Is that so?” Michelle half-turned, wrapped both arms around Amanda, and bent her head to press a kiss to the sensitive spot right below Amanda’s ear.
A shiver ran through Amanda, and she nearly lost her train of thought. “Yes. I admit the view is much nicer from the roof, though. Sometimes, after a really stressful day on the set, I climb up the fire escape and watch the sun set over the ocean.”
“Hmm, that sounds nice. Will you show me one day?”
The rumbling sound of Michelle’s humming sent more shivers through Amanda. Every cell of her body felt electrified with Michelle’s closeness. “Yes.” At that moment, she probably would have promised Michelle anything.
“Thank you.” Michelle kissed that spot below her ear again and then nibbled and kissed her way across her jaw and her cheek, placing each kiss half an inch higher.
Impatient with her progress toward where she really wanted her, Amanda took her face between both hands and pressed their mouths together.
Passion instantly ignited and swept through Amanda like wildfire.
With a moan, she pressed closer, wanting more, wanting—
“Sssh.” Breathing heavily, Michelle pulled away and touched her index finger to Amanda’s lips. “Remember, we have three mini chaperones in the kitchen.”
As the touch to her lips became a gentle stroking, Amanda couldn’t resist one last kiss. “Will you have dinner with me and my grandmother tonight?” she asked when she finally put a respectable distance between them.
“I wish I could, but I promised my brother I’d take the girls overnight.”
Amanda suppressed a sigh. “Maybe next weekend, then.”
“Damn. I’m sorry, Mandy. I can’t make it then either. It’s my nephews’ turn to stay with me.” She groaned and let her head sink onto Amanda’s shoulder.
Amanda slid her fingers through the short hair, enjoying its unexpected silkiness.
After a few moments, Michelle lifted her head and peered at her. “Oh, sorry. I just realized I called you Mandy.”
“It’s all right.”
“I thought you didn’t like that nickname?”
“I like it,” Amanda said. “It just seemed too intimate when we barely knew each other.”
Michelle studied her. “And now?”
Amanda kissed her again, this time not escalating the kiss, just connecting. “Now it feels just right.”
One of the twins rushed into the bedroom. “Aunt Mickey, Emily ate all my ice cream.”
“Did not,” came the shout from the kitchen.
“Did too!”
“Did not. It was the cat.”
Michelle wrapped her arm around Amanda’s shoulders as if she needed to hold herself up. “Come on. I need to intervene before World War Three breaks out in your kitchen.”
While the twins fought over who got to press the button for the elevator, Michelle turned back to Amanda. “So, when will I see you again?”
“I don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, as soon as possible.”
Michelle gave her a hopeful glance. “You don’t, by any chance, want to spend next Sunday helping me babysit? I swear the boys are easier to handle.”
“Are not,” Emily shouted from the elevator.
“Are too.” Michelle stuck her tongue out at her niece.
Amanda laughed. “All right, you two. No need to fight. If nothing comes up on the set, I’d love to help you babysit again. But this week could be pretty chaotic. It’s our last week before we go on hiatus.”
That reminded her… There would be a wrap party for the crew and cast on Friday, to celebrate the end of season two. Lorena had already said that she would bring her fiancé, and Nick was sure to have a woman or two hanging on his arms. Walt had invited her to bring someone too, but Amanda had escaped with a noncommittal answer, still not sure if making a public statement about her sexual orientation could hurt her career, now that it had finally started to take off.
For a moment, she was tempted to say to hell with it and just invite Michelle, but then she sighed and remained silent. Better not to rock the boat if you didn’t know whether there were sharks in the water.
She gave Michelle a quick kiss and stood still, startled, as the girls hugged her good-bye. Then Michelle and her nieces were gone, and everything felt much too quiet after her noisy afternoon. She stood in the hallway, listening to the rattling of the elevator until she couldn’t hear it anymore.
CHAPTER 12
On her way to her grandmother’s, Amanda plugged in her cell phone and speed-dialed Kathryn. Absentmindedly, she realized that Michelle had replaced her agent as the number two on her speed dial.
“What can I do for my favorite actress today?” Kathryn said instead of a simple hi.
“You’re not talking about my grandmother again, are you?”
Kathryn chuckled. “No. Since I get ten percent of what the studio is paying you, I’m definitely talking about you.”
For the past four years, Kathryn had worked for ten percent of almost nothing, so Amanda didn’t begrudge her the money. “I need some advice.”
Kathryn instantly sobered. “I’m all ears.”
“It’s about Michelle.”
“Oh, so this isn’t about business after all. Well, I don’t mind talking about your love life, but do you really think getting relationship advice from someone who’s divorced three times is a good idea?”
“It is about business. Kind of.” Amanda braked at a red light. “It’s about the season wrap party on Friday. I’m thinking about taking Michelle.”
Kathryn was silent for several seconds.
“Kath?”
“Yeah. Still here.”
“You don’t think that’s a good idea.”
The cars behind her started honking, and Amanda quickly crossed the intersection.
“I didn’t say that. Not necessarily.” Kathryn sighed. “But Hollywood is a fickle lady, and I don’t want anything to spoil the success you’ve worked so hard for.”
Amanda tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “My sexual orientation has nothing to do with my acting skills. It’s not fair for anyone to judge me by that.”
“I know. But since when has anything about show biz ever been fair?”
Silence spread between them, interrupted only by the tick-tock-tick-tock of the turn signal as Amanda made a turn left.
“I’m not saying don’t take her to the party,” Kathryn finally said. “Just…just think about it carefully before you make a decision like that, okay?”
Amanda had done little else since Walt had told her about the party. “Yeah. Thanks. I will.” Maybe asking Kath for relationship advice really hadn
’t been the best of ideas. She said good-bye and ended the call, still none the wiser.
“Dig in,” her grandmother said and piled more pasta onto Amanda’s plate. “You’re eating for two after all.”
Amanda nearly inhaled a strand of spaghetti. “What?”
Her grandmother chuckled. “I didn’t mean it like that—unless Michelle is more talented than I gave her credit for.”
Speaking about her sex life with her grandmother was freaking her out, even if there was no sex life to speak of. She glared at her grandmother and continued to eat.
“I meant that you have to eat Michelle’s portion too since she couldn’t come to dinner.” Grandma seemed almost as disappointed as Amanda about that.
Not having much of an appetite, Amanda slowly twirled a few strands of spaghetti around her fork. Her thoughts were still with Michelle and drifted from their afternoon at the movie theater to the wrap party. Calling Kathryn for advice hadn’t helped her come to a decision.
Her grandmother watched her for a while. Finally, she covered Amanda’s hand with her own, stopping her from twisting her fork around and around. “What is it? You and Michelle didn’t have a fight, did you?”
“No. We’re not spending enough time together to fight.”
“Is that what has you so down?”
Amanda put her fork down. “I never thought it would be so hard to juggle a new role and a new relationship at the same time. I dreamed of landing a role like this for years, and now I’m starting to resent it for keeping me away from Michelle.”
Her grandmother patted her hand. “Priorities change when you’re in love. Just hang on until Friday, then you go on break and can see her all you want.”
The thought of Friday didn’t help to cheer Amanda up. “Did you ever take Grandpa to a wrap party?”
“Oh, no. Your grandfather hated parties, especially the parties thrown by Hollywood folks.”
“Hmm.” Amanda picked up her fork again and twirled it through the spaghetti without eating. Would Michelle even want to go? Maybe she was agonizing over nothing.
“Why are you asking?”
Without looking up from her plate, Amanda said, “I’m thinking about taking Michelle to the season wrap party on Friday.”
“Oh, yes, take her. I bet that girl is the life of every party. She gets along with people so well. The ladies at bridge night loved her.”
That made Amanda look up. “You took her to bridge night?”
“When you were in Vegas for a week, she was lonely, so I occasionally asked her over to watch TV and play cards.”
Amanda nearly laughed out loud. Michelle and her grandmother had searched out each other’s company, each claiming that the other one was lonely. Too cute. It was amazing how well Michelle fit into her private life; if only it were that easy to reconcile their relationship with her job.
“So it’s decided, then,” her grandmother said. “You’ll take her to the party.”
“It’s not that easy. If I take her to the party, everyone will know I’m gay.”
Her grandmother studied her across the table and then stood and pulled Amanda up. “Let’s go to the living room and have a talk.”
It had been this way since Amanda’s childhood. All serious talks took place in the living room, with her grandmother sitting in her armchair and Amanda perched on the ottoman. This had been the spot where Amanda had come out to her grandmother and where she had learned that her grandfather had terminal cancer.
When they were seated, her grandmother took her hand. “What’s going on with you, Mandy? You were never afraid to be out.”
“I never had anything to lose. Mom and Dad had already disinherited me when I moved here, so I had no reason to be in the closet, but now I have a career to worry about.”
“Do you really think being gay will be an issue?” her grandmother asked.
“I don’t know,” Amanda said, looking down at her grandmother’s age-spotted hand, entwined with her own. “And I’m not in a hurry to find out. Do you remember what Lennard, my first agent, told me?”
“That bloodthirsty shark?”
“He might be a shark, but he knows the business. He said that if you want to make it in show biz, you can’t afford to have a private life—and certainly not if you’re gay. Kath also thinks it’s better to be careful and not rock the boat right now.”
Her grandmother’s silver-gray brows pinched together. “Pardon my language, but that’s a pile of horse poop. I had a career in show biz before Kathryn and Lennard even knew how to spell Hollywood, and the only reason why I could have that career was that I had a private life to balance it. I never would have survived thirty years as an actress without your grandfather.”
Amanda didn’t doubt it for a second. “Yes, but you’re not gay. What if I come out to my colleagues, and soon, producers and casting directors start thinking that they can’t cast me in romantic comedies or family-oriented movies because their audience wouldn’t like it or they think that I can’t believably pretend to be in love with a man?”
Her grandmother thought about it for a moment. “It’s a risk,” she finally admitted. “But, Mandy, this Hollywood business… It’s not real. All the really important things in life happen off-screen. What good does all the fame, glamor, and money do if you can’t be yourself? It’s hard enough not losing yourself when you’re playing a different role every few months. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be someone else when the cameras are off.”
She felt the truth of those words as soon as her grandmother said them. During those crazy days on the set, her daily phone calls with Michelle had kept her grounded. What good would it do to build a career, get bigger roles, until she might one day even win an Emmy or an Oscar, when she couldn’t even thank Michelle in the acceptance speech?
Amanda stood and kissed her grandmother’s cheek. “Thank you.” She strode toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To get my cell phone from the kitchen. I have to call Michelle and invite her to the party.”
“Are the monsters in bed?”
Michelle chuckled. “Out like a light. Guess spending the day with a celebrity tired them out.”
“I’m not a celebrity.”
“Not yet,” Michelle said, as Amanda had known she would. “But they liked you anyway.”
“They did?” That meant more to Amanda than she had known. “Really?”
“Sure. They inherited their aunt’s good taste when it comes to women.”
Amanda couldn’t help laughing. “Goof. Listen, I called for a reason.” She lowered her voice, even though her grandmother had stayed behind in the living room to give her some privacy. “I want to invite you to our season wrap party on Friday. I know you have to babysit your nephews on Saturday, but would you want to go with me if I promise not to keep you out too late?”
“Of course,” Michelle said without even a hint of hesitation. “My brother won’t drop off my nephews before noon on Saturday anyway. But…won’t your colleagues wonder why you’re dragging a photographer to a cast party?”
“I won’t be bringing a photographer,” Amanda said. “I’ll be bringing my girlfriend.”
Michelle sucked in an audible breath. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do? You could just introduce me as a friend, if that would be easier for you.”
Amanda clamped her hand around the phone more tightly. “I’m sure,” she said despite the nervous flutter in her stomach.
“All right. Tell me when, and I’ll be there to pick you up, dressed up worthy of accompanying the rising star of prime-time TV.”
“Seven o’clock.”
“It’s a date.”
“Yes,” Amanda said. “This time, it is.”
CHAPTER 13
Michelle was ten minutes early, but Amanda had been waiting for twenty minutes already, filled with nerves about coming out to her colleagues and the anticipation of seeing Michelle again.
She leane
d in the doorway of her apartment when the elevator doors pinged open.
Greedily, she drank in the sight of Michelle in a midnight blue dress shirt and black pants that showed off her muscular legs.
Michelle’s steps faltered when she caught sight of her.
Amanda looked down at herself. “Do you think I’m overdressed?”
“Uh, no. You look…” She stopped in front of Amanda and exhaled sharply. “Stunning.” Her eyes smoldered as she took in Amanda’s black, one-shouldered dress and the amount of skin it left bare.
“So do you.” Amanda gave in to the temptation to touch the shirt and find out if it was as satiny smooth as it looked. But as soon as she touched Michelle’s shoulder and felt the heat radiating off her, she forgot about the shirt and slid her arms around her.
As their bodies touched, Michelle seemed to sway a little. She groaned. “You do know that wearing this dress is cruel, when all I want is to take it off you, don’t you?”
Heat flared through Amanda at her words and the hoarse sound of her voice. Unable to answer, she just took Michelle’s hand and pulled her into the apartment before they ended up giving the neighbors a show. Again. She kicked the door closed.
They stood close in the narrow hall of the apartment, and Amanda became aware that she was alone with Michelle in what felt like the first time in weeks. That thought sent a tingle of anticipation through her.
Michelle cleared her throat and fumbled with the top button of her shirt as if the collar were suddenly too tight. “Ready to go?”
Amanda was tempted to just stay in, but she nodded instead. “Yeah, I just need my purse.” When she turned and took a step down the hall to get the purse, the slit in her dress parted, revealing a glimpse of her thigh.
Michelle let out another groan. “Jesus.”
Smiling to herself, Amanda looked over her shoulder. “Something wrong?”
“Oh, no. Something’s very, very right,” Michelle murmured and moved closer. She pressed her lips to the top of Amanda’s bare shoulder blade and trailed one fingertip up the slit in her dress, caressing the back of her thigh.