by Mary Wood
Why had they been afflicted with him? How could someone so blackened by evil have come from Megan’s pure self? From a young age he’d vandalized the lives of Issy, Jack and Megan, and now he’d done the same to hers. He’d deprived her of so much that she held close to her heart. He’d torn her apart.
Oh, Megan. Megan . . .
Her body folded. Strong arms grasped her. They’d all stood back, allowing her a moment, but now Richard was by her side. ‘Hattie, come away now. You’re frozen.’ He held her close to him.
A wet droplet hit her cheek. It had fallen from his eyes, and felt like one of those wax seals must feel to the paper they stamped. Because the tear stamped her with a seal of sadness that she thought she would never let go of.
As Richard turned her away, she saw Edward holding Bridget: two figures stilled by grief. And beyond them, a crowd of about one hundred stood with their heads bowed, all of them from Breckton. Miners, their wives and the Irish community were paying their respects to two of their own: two women who had made their mark through love and character. And there, too, were the business folk of Breckton, as well as the remaining four Land Girls.
Anger seared Hattie as she looked at these girls. Anger at the one called Rita, who’d caused so much devastation. How glad she was that Rita was now locked up. I hope she never gets out while I’m alive! And anger mixed with pity at the terrible injuries caused to the poor lass who had tried to save the horses. She was in a bad way, and not expected to live.
Neither Jack nor Sarah were there. Both remained in hospital – Jack all but shut down, and Sarah a trembling bundle of fear who could barely function. And no Harry. Poor Harry seemed weaker by the minute. Oh God, where had her world gone?
As Richard guided her away, Hattie looked back. The wind swayed the naked boughs of the tree under which the grave lay. She felt the same back-and-forth movement going on inside her, churning her up and taking her in one direction and then the other. But her heart jolted her as she turned and saw a figure dressed all in black, standing on the edge of everything. Arthur! He’d come to support her. She’d have to go to him – she needed to.
‘Richard, there’s someone I need to talk to. Will you tell everyone as them at Hensal Grange have put on a wake, and as everyone’s welcome?’
‘Yes, but are you sure you will be all right?’
‘I will, ta, love. I have an old friend as has come to be with me. I’ll come up to the Grange in a little while. You go and look after your mam and dad. Poor Bridget. She’s taken this hard.’
‘She has. Her happiness seemed complete on finding her daughter, Megan. It was strange for me at the time to have this older half-sister suddenly, but Megan brought me so much love and seemed to bring sunshine into all of our lives.’
‘Oh, Richard, we’ll get through this, lad. We’ll get through.’
‘But what about Sarah? Hattie, it was all my fault.’
‘No, lad. No one knew more than Megan what you were both going through. You just be there for Sarah, lad. It’s going to take her a long time, thou knows. But if she has you – the man she loves – watching out for her, that’s going to help.’
‘You knew?’
‘Megan told me.’
‘Megan knew?’
‘Aye, and she weren’t without feeling guilty, bless her. She thought she should have stopped the wedding. But no one could change Sarah’s mind. Poor lass.’
‘I think it was because of her fear. She knew if she crossed Billy, this would happen. She went through with the marriage to prevent it, then I—’
‘Richard, you must stop this. You’ve got to, lad. Guilt can consume you, and you’ve no time for that, neither can you give time to it. You have to be strong. I can’t do this on me own. I need you to help me to prop up Sarah and Jack, and there’s no one better.’
‘Thank you, Hattie. I’ll try. I promise you, I’ll try. I’ll just go to Mother and Father now. I’ll see you up at the Grange.’
Hattie watched him go. For all her words, she knew Richard did carry some of the blame on his shoulders, and he deserved to. He’d taken what was forbidden. But then hadn’t they all? No. She’d not think of him as deserving guilt, for Sarah had kissed him back. Her ramblings had told Hattie that much. And two people who loved each other, snatching an illicit kiss, didn’t deserve what it had brought down on them two. No one did.
‘Hattie, I don’t know what to say.’
‘There’s nowt anyone can say, Arthur. Me world has been shredded. I’ve nothing left.’
‘You have me, my love. I’m back. I’m here for you.’
‘Oh, Arthur. It’s not reet that you can get through all of this pain and give me a warm spot of hope. It’s not reet for me to feel that.’
‘I know, but I’m glad you do. You have a lot to deal with. Don’t shut me out. I don’t expect anything other than to be your friend, for the time being.’
‘And that’s what I need most in all the world, as two of me best ones lie back there in that grave, and my Harry is fading fast. If you can replace them in just a small way, then I’d welcome you back into me life on that basis. Don’t expect more from me, though.’
‘My love for you is not a selfish love. I know that now. It can manifest in many ways and can adjust to what you most need, my dear.’
‘At this moment, I – I want help. Help me, Arthur, help me; please take away my pain.’
She was in his arms. He held her close. As wrong as it was, it felt so right that he should come back to her when she most needed him. And, despite everything, Hattie hoped with everything that was in her that Arthur would never leave her again.
34
Theresa
Another Curtain Falls
‘Terence, I know what it is I want to do.’
‘About what, darling? Move up a little. I know you need a lot of room, but you needn’t take up all of the bed.’
Shifting her bulk as best she could, Theresa moved over. Not long now. Four weeks at the most and I will be rid of this curse in my womb – rid of the longing, and love, I have for it. Banishing these thoughts that hurt so much, Theresa answered Terence, ‘About my life after. And this is going to shock you. I am going to join up.’
‘Good gracious!’
‘I know, but I have this overwhelming urge to help since that awful Dunkirk business. If we are going to win this foul thing, we should all do our bit.’
‘Don’t look at me. I am “doing my bit”, thank you very much. Supporting Jack Fellam with the running of his farm, as well as Hensal Grange estate, is war work.’
‘Oh, I know. Anyway, how are Fellam and his daughter? God, what a bloody awful thing. Even though it rid us – and the world, come to that – of that evil bastard Billy Armitage, and of the threat Rita had become, it must have been hell to go through.’
‘Fellam gets through each day, and that’s about it. His daughter seems as though she doesn’t exist. She’s empty, vacant. Oh, I don’t know, it is hard to describe. That chap in the RAF, some relation or other – or at least he was a relation to Fellam’s wife – seems to have a thing for her. He’s stationed at Biggin Hill, one of Churchill’s lot that we all owe so much to. He comes up whenever he has a minute off. Or it seems that way, according to what Louise—’
‘Louise, Louise, bloody Louise!’
‘Look, be reasonable, darling. You know I have to see her. God, she is the only one keeping things going on Fellam’s farm. Well, with the sterling help of Dorothy, that is. You remember – the older one, widowed or some such. Anyway, besides coping almost on their own, Louise helps me with Fellam’s three remaining horses, which I am caring for at our stables. That other poor girl who was injured so badly has finally gone home from hospital.’
‘Oh? She recovered then?’
‘Well, she’ll be disfigured for life, and her mind is affected. The evidence she was able to give helped to convict that evil Rita, and it was accepted that what she could remember was consistent with her inj
uries. The doctor who was giving evidence said that the girl had received a single blow to the head, apart from possibly banging it when the horse charged her. She’ll never walk again, poor thing. So no, I wouldn’t say she has recovered.’
‘And you have no conscience about any of it? God, Terence, you take the biscuit!’
‘Why should I have?’
‘Oh, come off it. Don’t tell me you didn’t plant the idea in Rita’s mind. I know we wanted rid of her, but we said we would use Armitage. What changed your mind?’
‘I didn’t. I told you, I threatened Rita with setting Armitage on her. That’s when she said she’d put things right for me, and would never cause me harm. Anyway, that bitch has got all she deserves, and I hope she rots in prison. What if anyone had believed her story? My God, it doesn’t bear thinking about!’
‘Well, they didn’t. They believed yours, so you are nice and safe. Bet you miss her, though. Between visits to me, that is?’
‘No, well, actually, I have been meaning to tell you . . . Penny—’
‘Bloody hell, Terence, you bastard! Do tell.’
Listening to his conquest of ‘the virgin’ stirred feelings inside Theresa. She snuggled closer to her twin.
With her so near her time, and finding love-making uncomfortable, they’d reverted to their old ways of giving pleasure to each other. Terence knew her needs. And her love for him knew no bounds.
As Terence lay back and drew deeply on his cigarette, stroking the hair of a contented Theresa who was now resting her head on his chest, he thought about Penny. She’d turned out to be something! ‘Giving’ was the word he’d use, and grateful – a loving combination. Something he hadn’t experienced before and found he enjoyed. Yes, Penny was more than a substitute for the artful Rita.
These musings left him suddenly, as his mind registered what Theresa had said. His curiosity piqued, he asked, ‘So, which force are you going to join?’
Theresa lifted her head and looked at him. ‘You needn’t sound so amused. Anyway, pass me your ciggie; I need some smoke in my lungs.’
He watched the tip of the cigarette light up as she drew on it, and waited as she exhaled the smoke.
‘The army.’
‘For goodness’ sake, Theresa, stop being silly. Join some volunteer group or something if you must, not the army!’ The agitated puff that he took of his cigarette filled his lungs and calmed him. He felt immediate regret at his sharpness with her. ‘Sorry, old thing, didn’t mean to snap. Come here, snuggle up to me.’
‘No, I’m all sweaty. I’m going to take a bath. And you may as well get used to the idea, as my mind is made up. There is no point in you even trying to change it. The minute I recover from dropping this beast inside me, I’m signing on the dotted line.’
‘But you can’t. I won’t let you. Theresa, this is a silly notion. You going out to save the world – you’re not equipped. You’ll get yourself killed. No, I won’t allow it and neither will Pater, and it would be the end of Mater!’
Her look held disdain. ‘The least said about anything I do affecting Mater, the better. I’m angry. Boiling angry at the way our lives are dictated by how everything will impact on Mater. That maxim has ruled us for far too long, Terence. We have to stand up against it. I’m going to.’
Terence had no argument against this and, by the look on Theresa’s face, she would brook none. I’ll leave the question alone for now. There’s plenty of time. Theresa will forget this silly notion. Feeling sure of this as he listened to the bath water running, he stubbed out his cigarette and lay back to relax. He felt at one with himself. His future looked bright. He’d ridded them both of the evil Rita – though there had been a few hairy moments during the trial, especially when the defence council had tied him in knots.
Sweat broke out over him at the thought of the moment when he thought the truth would come out. But then Penny – poor smitten Penny – had saved the day. She’d told the court that Rita was lying about her relationship with him. That she’d never seen Terence Crompton act in any way other than politely and respectfully towards them both. That she knew Rita fantasized over her relationship with their boss going further, but she never witnessed anything that made her think anything had happened between them.
Smiling, Terence thought of Rita’s horror and defeated look as she listened to this. Ha, I owe a lot to you, Penny, and I’m going to see that you get your dues. In fact, I’ll take great pleasure in giving you what you most desire.
Laughing now, Terence swung his legs off the bed. Going to the bathroom, he looked at his beautiful sister. Her naked body half-immersed in the water was wet and shiny, and her hair hung in dripping strands, as if she’d dunked her head. Her face looked angelic. An overwhelming love for her swept over him. Kneeling beside the bath, he traced the mound of her stomach. The child within moved, as if to acknowledge him.
Terence’s heart lurched. The love he felt wasn’t solely for Theresa. Taking his hand away, he stood up. What is the matter with me? I must suppress this feeling I have for this unborn child. I have to . . .
35
Harry & Hattie
Harry Gives his All for Love
Hattie stood by Harry’s bed. The hospital ward was hushed around her, the silence broken only by the soft tread of the nuns and Harry’s laboured breathing.
Dear Harry, how strong he’d been for her through these last painful months.
Every day Hattie had thought her spirit would be crushed under the burden of it all. How had it come to this? But she couldn’t dwell on it, couldn’t think of the horror of what had happened and her devastation – the loss of her life as she’d known it. Everything, everything as she knew it, had gone.
A further thread had snapped when Sally joined up. Not that she’d have it any different, as the lass wanted to do her bit, and Hattie was proud of her for it. But it beggared belief – Sally knowing all that French stuff and studying books, so she could actually use it to help in the war effort. A translator, her Sally! Still, she was safe in what she was doing, which wouldn’t have been the case if she’d been to France and knew of the life they lived and the country’s geography. Then they’d have had her over there, doing God-knows-what, most likely in constant danger. Sally was upset that she hadn’t been accepted for such work, but she enjoyed the job they’d given her. Eeh, she’d always known as Sally was a clever lass; it had shown in how quickly she’d caught up with her learning, once she’d come back to Hattie. From that time, Hattie had thought Sally was really meant to work with her head, not her hands, even though she did a good job with both.
Aye, and I’ve to do the same, if I’m to keep everything going. Megan’s factory, as well as me and Harry’s emporium. But all of it is draining so much from me. Oh, dear Lord, I miss Megan so much. I miss life as it was.
Maybe that was confusing her, where Arthur were concerned, but all Hattie knew on that score was that she needed him – really needed him – and the thought shamed her.
Harry stirred. His agitation showed in the way he picked at the sheet with his long, thin, yellowing fingers. His voice, weak and shaky, was difficult to understand. ‘Ha – Hattie?’
‘I’m here, my love. Don’t try to talk. I know everything as you want to say.’
‘I – I must. Hattie, be happy. Ar – Arthur . . . It’s all right—’
‘What? Harry, what’re yer saying?’
‘I – I know. And I . . . want you happy. G – go to him.’
‘Harry! Oh, Harry. I’m sorry.’
‘N – no, it’s all right. I want . . . P – please, go to Arthur. He loves you.’
‘Please don’t say this, Harry. I can’t bear to see the hurt in you. I never meant—’
‘You gave me happiness, my d – darling. I will die at – at peace . . . if I know you are happy. Please, Hattie.’
‘Don’t leave me, Harry. I love you. Please stay, please . . . Harry.’
‘I – I love y—’
‘Harry! Ha
rry, listen to me. I love you like I’ve never loved another being.’ Despite everything, she knew what she said was the truth and came from her heart. Her love for Arthur wasn’t anything like what she had for Harry. She could depend on Harry; he’d never let her down. Arthur held her soul, but he could destroy it as if it was nothing.
‘I – I know, my love. But . . . go to Arthur. Th – things change. I – I want you happy.’
With the last vestige of her world collapsing, Hattie felt she had no choice but to utter the words she never thought in a million years to say to her Harry. But she had to give him peace. ‘All right, my love, I will go to Arthur. Now don’t fret. Save your energy, get well, and make it as I don’t ever have to leave you. I can’t bear to be without you. No. No, Harry, don’t go . . .’
Harry’s grip on hers slackened.
Hattie’s heart thudded painfully, causing her throat to constrict with each intense beat. ‘Oh, Harry, no, no, no—’
An arm took hold of her, trying to drag her away. She fought against it and escaped, flinging herself onto the bed, where she snuggled into the still body and kissed the unresponsive waxy features. The hand grabbed her arm again. ‘Come along, dear. He is at peace now.’
But she didn’t want him at peace; she wanted Harry here with her. She wanted him to hold her, to . . . ‘Oh, Harry, my love.’
A voice that she could not see the owner of spoke from behind the curtain, championing her cause. ‘Sister, leave them a moment. They’ll be all right.’
‘It isn’t right, it’s—’
‘Who are we to say what is right?’
‘Yes, Doctor, but Matron wouldn’t—’
‘Matron won’t know. Now come away.’
The hush of earlier descended again, this time with nothing to disturb it. Into that hush came all of Hattie’s life: the wasted, rotten part after leaving the convent; the vile happenings, and her time as mistress to Arthur – Lord Arthur Greystone, as she now knew him to be, although back then she had thought him to be Captain Faraday. That deception still hurt. He’d found her on her patch, when she worked the streets. She could remember so vividly how he came up to her, limping and with a scarf covering most of his face. She’d seen a tear trickle from the stretched socket of his left eye and had been mesmerized by his sweet, gentle voice as he had said, ‘I – I will understand if you can’t, but I need—’ She’d understood: the so-called ‘Great War’ had left so many young men badly injured. Her heart had gone out to this one. ‘Of course, love. Where shall we go?’ she’d asked him. He’d summoned his cab, driven by Harry. Harry had smiled at her as he’d helped Hattie into the cab. Everything had seemed as though she was entering a different life, and she was. As time went on, she and Arthur fell in love, and she had thought of him as her lifetime companion; but he had gone back to his wife, the moment she could bear to look on his much-improved facial appearance following the skin grafts he had been through.