James’ red eyes glared at him. Cal just kept his head down. Submissive. Letting it happen instead of fighting.
“You’re just as fucking worthless as your bitch mother,” James growled. Cal’s hands clenched and unclenched into fists, but he didn’t move. I put my hand over my mouth as James pulled his head back and spat in Cal’s face. I wanted to scream at him, but I was paralyzed with fear. “You all are. Don’t know why I ever fucking tried to deny that.”
As suddenly as he had stomped in, James turned around. The door slammed behind him, leaving Cal frozen in the middle of the room. I was shaking, but I crawled out from under the covers. James could come back at any moment, but I didn’t care. The look on Cal’s face was breaking me.
“Cal?” I asked softly.
His head snapped up, like he had forgotten I was there. His expression softened. “I’m sorry, Nat,” he breathed, walking to the bed and sitting down next to me. “I’m so fucking sorry you had to see that.”
“Does it…” I touched the pulse that was racing in my throat as I tried to find the right words. “Does it happen often?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I knew it was a stupid question, but I had no idea what to say. I was still in shock. I had never seen James like that.
Cal sneered. “Because I deserve it, didn’t you hear?”
“You don’t deserve it.”
Cal nodded shortly. His thousand yard stare continued out the window into oblivion. When I touched his arm, he jumped, like for a moment he had been trying to forget he existed.
“But why does he do it?” I bit my lip, wondering if I shouldn’t have asked that. It was a stupid question, and insensitive. He never asked me why Nate did it.
But he didn’t seem to worried. He just sighed.
“Because my mom is dead. And I’m a fuckup.”
“You’re not—”
“Don’t condescend to me.”
I pulled back, afraid I was testing boundaries he didn’t want tested. But I couldn’t help it. “So he hits you because you have… problems?”
“And because I’m crazy,” he added bitterly. “Haven’t you heard? I’m a fuckup who needs attention, so I lie to people about my ‘abusive’ dad. Of course, James Gatlin could never abuse his son, he’s too perfect, don’t you know? It must be that his son is a liar. Must be that his son is a fuckup.”
He swallowed hard.
“And if he can get back at me with his fists, well, all the better for perfect James Gatlin.”
I didn’t know what else to do, so I crawled to him again, putting a hand on his thigh. After a moment, he leaned into me and ran his hands through my hair. It was tender.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he breathed. “And I’m sorry we’re fucking up your family. I’m sorry he does that.” He hung his head. “I’m sorry about everything, Nat.”
“Did he … did he do that to your mother as well?”
Cal’s jaw locked. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry too.”
“Not your fault,” he said in a small voice.
He kept his eyes fixed on the floor. I hated seeing him like this—crushed and small. I wanted the cocky Cal back, the one who called me Pink and begged me to say filthy things. More than that, I wanted the pained look to pass out of his eyes.
I wrapped my arms around him.
He jumped in his seat, his eyes widening as they glanced down at me snuggling into him. Then he melted in my arms, resting his head on top of mine where I had laid it against his chest. Cal Gatlin trusts me, I realized. Something shifted inside me, something secret and warm and shuddering in my heart.
“It’s why I … well, stalked you,” he said after a moment. I snorted into his chest at stalked. The soft rumble of his bitter chuckle rolled against my cheek. His thumb began massaging small circles into my back. “The first time I saw that kid yell at you, I knew. The way you looked, Nat…. It was the same way my mother looked when he yelled at her. And I knew that I couldn’t leave you alone. I already failed my mom, Nat. I couldn’t fail you too.”
“You don’t have to save me.”
“I’m not trying to save you, Nat.” He kissed the top of my head, burying his face in my soft hair. “Not if you don’t want to be saved. But maybe we can save each other.”
“You think?”
“I think we already have.”
He held me in the silence for a few minutes, my arms wrapped around his waist and his arms wrapped around me. His heartbeat drummed a soft thump against my ear. It was beautiful. It sounded like safety. It sounded like home.
“He hasn’t hit my mom, has he?”
Cal’s arms tightened around me. “No, Nat. Not yet. I won’t let that happen.”
I buried my face in his chest.
“I meant it when I said I love you, Natalie Harlow,” he whispered, pressing his lips against my ear. “And I fucking swear, right here, right now. I will protect you. But only if you allow me to. I won’t be here if you don’t want me.”
The tears had begun burning in my eyes, but even as choked up as I was, I knew what I had to say.
It rolled off my tongue before I could stop it:
“I will always want you, Cal Gatlin.”
I kissed his neck, hoping it hid my blush. His arms tightened around me. He buried his face deeper in my hair.
“You have no idea how good that sounds coming from your lips, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart.
Jesus, the boy was going to break me.
“You should go, Nat,” he sighed. “Before Dad comes back. It’s late, anyway. You should get back to your bedroom.”
“No,” I whispered, clutching at Cal’s arm. He drew his embrace tighter around me. This was dangerous. I knew it. He knew it too. And yet absolutely nothing could make me leave him at that moment. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Cal and I may be together now, I realized, but that didn’t change anything. He was still my stepbrother, and he was still the bad boy with a bad reputation. We couldn’t be together. If anybody found out, I knew it would tear us apart. Especially if it involved Cal Gatlin, the one everyone else had given up on.
But that didn’t mean I had to.
I was ready to save him.
The next day at school, my world was a blur. I wasn’t sure what was going on as I floated through my classes, lunch, and after school meetings. All I could think about was James calling my mother a whore. All I could remember was the sickening sound of James’ fist against Cal’s cheek. All I could see was James and Nate and everything I’ve ever hated, their faces blending together until they were one monster that sunk its hooks into my brain and wouldn’t let go.
But there was one candle in the darkness:
Cal is mine.
And I’m going to save him.
That one thought got me through the rest of the day, even as I constantly relived those horrible moments in Cal’s bedroom. Did James suspect that I knew something? Why hadn’t Mom told me he was like this? And why hadn’t Cal ever told me before?
Because he thought you hated him, idiot.
Shut up, voice in my head.
I hate it when you’re right.
The first I needed to do, I figured as I pulled on my backpack at the end of our afterschool prom committee meeting, was to figure out how to beak to Mom that James was a raging douche who needed to be evicted from the house. I mean, obviously she had to have known at least a little—he screamed at her.
But maybe she didn’t understand just how bad it was, I thought as I pushed past the glass front doors of the school. Maybe I had to show her somehow. To save both her and Cal.
Maybe—
“Hey, Pink,” a voice growled in my ear as I was locked in a strong embrace and lifted off the ground. My first instinct was to scream, but he knew me too well. A hand slapped over my mouth, stifling it before Furst could come running to save me from my murderer.
I bit down.
&n
bsp; “Shit!”
Cal jumped back, grasping his bruised hand. I rolled my eyes as the drama queen inspected the light pink bite marks.
“I didn’t even bite you that hard.”
“Didn’t your mother teach you not to bite your friends?”
My stomach turned a little as I remembered Mom and the situation with James. I pushed it out of my mind. That was a problem for another day. Specifically, another day where Cal wasn’t getting grabby and assault-y again.
“Is there a reason you molested me?” I asked, placing a hand on my hip and pulling us into the alley behind the school. The last thing I needed was someone seeing his shenanigans and getting him arrested. “Or are you just trying to spice up our love life?”
Cal grinned and leaned forward, pressing his body against mine. “Hm. Do you think I should try?”
I pushed his grinning face away from mine as he tried to kiss me, unable to stop smiling myself.
“Stop. Someone will see us.”
“Ooh, scandalous.” He slipped an arm around me. “Incest is a good way to spice up the bedroom, yeah, Pink?”
“What are you doing, Cal?” I said dryly.
He pouted at my serious voice. God, he was cute.
“I wanted to ask you something, Pink,” he said, rummaging around in his coat pocket. I eyed it suspiciously.
“If you’re pulling out the condom, the answer is no.”
“What’s wrong, Sis, I thought you liked big cock.”
I swatted him away while I blushed. “Not in public.”
“That wasn’t a no.”
“I will murder you in your sleep.”
He grinned and kissed my forehead. “Got it. Now pay attention, cause I’ve never done this before, and it’s important.”
“What is—oh no. No, no, no.”
Cal dropped to one knee.
This is not happening.
“What are you doing?” I hissed at him.
“Proposing, dumbass.”
“Cal, we are high school students!”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Yes, obviously, or there would be no point in me doing this. Jesus, Pink. For the smartest person I know, you can be pretty dumb.”
“Nice backhanded compliment.”
“No, it was a backhanded insult. I insulted you, but it was really a compliment. Pay attention.”
I glared at him. He grinned up at me and leaned forward to kiss my stomach. Stop being cute, goddamnit.
“Alright. Fine. I’ll play along.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. “Why wouldn’t this work if we weren’t high school students, Cal?”
“Because I’m asking you to prom.”
“I—what?”
Now that was out of left field. For some reason, that struck me as even stranger than proposing marriage. Maybe because I had never associated something as innocent as prom proposals with someone as tattooed and foul mouthed as Cal. I eyed him even more suspiciously now as he pulled the mystery item out of his coat pocket, still not convinced it wasn’t a condom.
No, I realized with surprise. It wasn’t.
It was a small black jewelry box.
I really would have thought it was a wedding ring if he hadn’t already nixed the idea. I tilted my head.
“Cal, I don’t think this is how asking girls to prom normally works. You don’t have to give me anything.”
“Of course I don’t have to. But I want to.”
He flipped the box open.
I gasped as the glint of a diamond sparkled at my eye. It was the diamond stud that Cal normally wore in his ear. I hadn’t even noticed it was missing. I looked into his eyes, even more confused now. I hadn’t seen him take the earring off the entire time I had known him, now that I thought about it.
“Not ring,” said Cal, holding it up for me. “I know you’d get pissed at that. But this is better. Like it, Pink?”
“Your … earring? You’re giving me your earring?”
“Nope.” He stood up, towering over me again. Delicately, he took my chin in his hand and tilted it up. His movements were so soft and careful, like he thought I was a china doll. He pulled the diamond stud out of the box and slipped into my left ear. He fastened it and pulled back again, tilting my chin to admire the way it sparkled next to my face.
“So….”
“It’s not mine. It’s my mother’s earring.”
“Oh.”
I was frozen again. I didn’t know how to handle emotional stuff like this, to be honest. I could ace the SAT, I could coordinate school club meetings, I could expertly avoid my abusive ex-boyfriend while maintaining perfect attendance in class. But I had the emotional intelligence of a potato.
“It’s the only thing I have left of her,” he said, looking into my eyes. “Dad took everything else. But these—” He reached forward to caress my jaw, dropping his fingertips over the diamond where it was secured in my earlobe. “I got these before he even knew they were missing. And kept them.”
“ ‘These?’ Is there another one?”
He nodded. His hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out the perfect twin to the earring in my earlobe. He placed the matching earring into his own ear. I loved the way it shined next to his eyes, bringing out their color and light.
Is that what Cal saw when he looked at me?
“There,” he said in a soft voice. “Together again.”
I stared into his eyes, mesmerized by how beautiful he was. And then caught myself, embarrassed, and looked down.
“You’re so pretty when you blush, Pink,” he said, cupping my chin again. He brought my face to his and kissed me long and deep. His tongue ran over my bottom lip. Not lecherously or lustily, but sweetly. I opened my mouth to him.
I loved him.
I loved him so fucking much.
“Why do you look so worried, sweetheart?” he whispered against my mouth. I tried to kiss him again, but he knew me, which meant he knew the whole ‘emotional intelligence of a potato’ thing. He avoided the kiss, waiting for me to answer instead of kissing away the question. I huffed.
“I’m worried about Mom.”
“I told you I’d take care of you. That includes her.”
“I know. But you’re not always around. And I don’t want to depend on you, Cal. I’m grateful, but I feel so useless. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet. I need to.”
He touched my cheek. “We’ll figure something out.”
I closed my eyes. “You promise?”
“Always.” He kissed me again. “Now come on, Prom Date.”
“What—no!”
Before I could slap him away, he had grabbed me and slung me over his shoulder like a Viking claiming his war booty. Back to cocky Cal. Better than sad Cal, but still not great for me or my need to not be accosted constantly by an obsessed stepbrother. I went cross-eyed as his heavy footsteps bounced me up and down on his shoulder like a ragdoll.
“Put me down goddamnit!”
“Come on. I’ll carry you in, princess.”
“Oh my God. I’m really am going to murder you. I’m going to murder you in your sleep, and they’ll put me in prison, and I’ll graduate in a damp cell with my prison wife. You’re so dead.”
“Promise?” he asked, pulling me into his arms, cradling me like a baby. Less humiliating than over the shoulder, still not something I wanted my classmates to see. I glared at him.
“Yes.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said with a kiss.
The next few weeks were a rollercoaster.
One minute, I was glaring at Nate from across the lunch room—I had noticed he had started watching me again. The next, I was worried sick about the Mom and James situation, especially when the end of the semester approaching meant I was too busy to focus on it. And then there were all the little sweet moments in between with Cal.
Cal pulling me into a hidden part of the hallway for kisses at school. Cal slipping love notes under my bedroom door when the
others were asleep. Cal giving me the eyes across the room when we were in public—a look that sent my heart racing and my cheeks blushing, which only encouraged him.
One night, Cal and I lay on his bed together, listening to Mom and James stomp around the lower floor. No screaming or fighting, but the stomping meant that something was up.
Save Me: a Stepbrother Romance Page 9