by Paige Steele
Grandpa pours three coffees, pressing us both to stay, which we do with no doubts. As we are sitting at the table, he excuses himself for a moment, returning with two photo albums.
“While you are both here, we can look through these to find some pictures to display at the services.”
There are several more stories told by the time we pick out the photos, including a few about me. I could sit and listen to him forever. He’s such a man of knowledge and history. I can only hope that I’m half the man he is. That’s when it dawns on me that I’m not being fair to Maddie. She was only doing what was asked of her, and that Grandpa was only doing what Gramma asked of him, so in the end everyone was looking out for me, and I should be grateful.
Reaching forward, I lace my hand with hers that is resting on the table. Looking up at me, the sadness in her eyes lifts slightly. I give her a small smile and she returns it with one of her own.
Before we know it, it’s getting close to dinnertime. After setting his table with food, and once another neighbor came over to see him, we knew we could leave and feel he was taken care of, at least for the night.
I follow her back to the house. Once standing back in our driveway, I can sense her hesitation as to what to say or do. Taking her hand, I lead us to the front door.
Standing inside, I’m aware I need to say something, “I know you only did what Gramps asked you to do. I was thinking it through, I couldn’t process it all.”
“It’s understandable. I would never hold anything back from you like that, unless it was for a good reason, and I thought him asking me, was reason enough.”
“Absolutely, it was. I’d do anything for him, so I get it now. I hope you can forgive me for being a jerk.” I wrap my arms around her waist and look in her eyes.
“You weren’t a jerk, you were hurting and still are,” she says, placing her hand over my heart.
I place a tiny kiss to her lips. She initiates a more meaningful one and I reciprocate the gesture. Pulling her closer to me I come to realization, she had my heart but now she has all of me.
Maddie orders a pizza, while I go up and take a shower. I need to breathe and I don’t think I have since last night. Standing under the water, I let it cascade over my head and body, while I close my eyes. It’s difficult thinking about what the next few days are going to be like and how I’ll even get through them. But I also know, I have to be the strong one for the man that taught me about life.
There’s a knock on the door, “Jesse, you okay?”
“I am. I’ll be out soon.”
“Okay, Babe. The pizza just arrived, too.”
“Alright.”
Minutes later, I step out and dry off. Walking in the bedroom, I throw on a pair of boxer briefs and walk downstairs.
“How are you feeling?”
“Drained. I just want that pizza, a beer, and you.”
“In that order?”
“Exactly.”
We eat and then I decide to have that beer in the hot tub. Maddie joins me with her glass of wine. Tonight there are no suits required, so we strip and climb in. I snake my arm around her as she sits close. She drops her head against my shoulder as mine rests on the back of the padded side. We both stare up at the sky, it’s a clear night.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing, for the first time today...absolutely nothing.”
“There’s been a lot to process in the last twenty-four hours.”
“You got that right, Cupcake. And now it’s time to relax. Tomorrow it’ll all start back up.”
“Well, I’m here for you, so just let me know what you need of me.”
“Right now, I just want you.”
“That I can do.” And she does just that as she climbs onto my lap.
We start out with a heavy make-out session and a lot of touching. It’s almost as if we are exploring each other’s bodies for the first time, all over again. My hands are everywhere and so are hers. The night progresses until we are connected in every way possible. Her arms are wrapped tightly around my neck, as mine are around her waist. I don’t think we could be any closer than we are right now. She grinds her hips back and forth on top of me, until I feel her start to squeeze from the inside, causing me to explode right along with her.
Catching our breaths, we stay in the same position for several minutes. She lifts her forehead from my shoulder and looks at me.
“Thank you,” I say.
“For what?”
“For being you. I need you, Maddie, you’re my best friend. I can’t get through all of this without you.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that because I’m not going anywhere.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
MADDIE
I spend the next day hanging at the house. Jesse went riding with Cooper and Ryan. I think he needs a day away, so I’m happy he went. He kept saying he shouldn’t go but I knew he should. His mind is full of worry about his grandfather now, so a ride is just what the doctor ordered. He’s going to head over to his place after, because the two of them have appointments with both the funeral home and the florist.
The house needs a cleaning from top to bottom. Knowing that we are hosting everyone over after the funeral makes my OCD kick in. I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow and spend the night making some snacks. Jesse shot me a text, letting me know they picked the day after tomorrow for the funeral and asked that I order the food for the main meal for then.
I thought I owed the girls an explanation of what went on between Jesse and me, so I shot off a group text to them all.
Me: Hey, ladies, I just wanted to let you all know how much I love you for being there for me after the race and on the way home.
Ansley chimes in first.
Ansley: Always you know that.
Next comes Josie.
Josie: You got it, lady, love you, too.
Then Kenna.
Kenna: No place else I’d rather be than next to my girls.
Me: Also Jesse and I talked and we are good, better than good, actually.
Josie: That’s awesome, I knew you two would figure it out.
Ansley: Agreed, it’s tough when you are hurting to put things in perspective, so I’m sure it was just easier to be mad.
Kenna: Good to hear and I agree with Ansley, he just needed to be mad at someone or something and you were there.
Me: I think his grandpa talked to him when he went over there. Whatever he said worked because he warmed up to me just a few minutes after seeing me.
We texted a few more messages about what will be going on over the next couple of days. When they ask how they can help, I let them know, some sort of snack would be great for gathering at the house. Ansley said she’d make something, while both Kenna and Josie laughed and said they’ll buy something.
Jesse received a large arrangement of flowers today from the Yamaha team. It’s a gorgeous array of different flowers and the smell is amazing. A few others are delivered this afternoon so I decide to display them throughout the entire house. His grandfather said he’s gotten some at his place, too.
After the entire day of cleaning, I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot. I’m sitting on the couch, waiting for Jesse to come home. Dinner is in the oven staying warm and the table is set. He walks in shortly after seven and I can tell it’s been a long day for him.
“How’d it go today, Babe?”
“It’s been one of the hardest days of my life. But I know the day after tomorrow will be even harder.”
“I’m sorry you’re having to go through all this. How’s your grandpa?”
“He’s doing okay. I know it’s been tough on him.”
“I’m sure it has. The nights must be the hardest.”
“Yeah, I thought about that, too. I was going to talk to him about moving in with us. There is the downstairs bedroom that he could have, but I don’t think he’ll want to leave the house that he’s lived
in for the past sixty plus years. So I’ll just keep an eye on him. If I notice him being down or anything odd, then I’ll ask him immediately.”
“Yeah, I agree. I can’t see him wanting to move right away, either. I’d give it some time, maybe in the future.”
“That’s what I thought. Something smells good.” He takes off toward the kitchen.
“Of course, they say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
“Lucky for you, you already have my heart,” he says, then kisses my lips.
“Well, lucky for you I can cook, too,” I say, pecking his lips right back.
“What are we having?”
“We’re having chicken and broccoli Alfredo.”
“Yum. That sounds amazing.”
I pull it out of the oven as he pulls out a bottle of beer and sits down at the table. He takes the time to pour me a glass of wine that I have already pulled out. I join him after dishing us both up a plateful and placing the rest of what is left in the casserole dish in between us. I think he started and finished his before I had even had a forkful; clearly his appetite is back. He reaches forward and serves himself plate number two.
“How was riding with the guys today?”
“Perfect. It’s always been a way to clear my mind and today was no different. I needed it bad.”
“I was hoping it would help. Why don’t you invite Grampa over here tomorrow? He can spend the day out of the house. It might be good for him.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Maddie.”
“For what, hun?”
“For being here, for being you…for everything. You’re amazing.”
“Anytime, any place, Mister. I’ll always be here.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” I smile over at him as he reaches for my hand that rests on the table.
I spend the next day at the grocery store, picking up the ingredients that I need for a couple different dips I’m going to make, as well as what I need to make the cookies. Though I cheat and grab boxes of Dunkin Hines brownies, cupcakes, and frosting.
After Jesse’s workout, he’s out the door to pick up Mr. Anderson. He’s going to come over for a late lunch, early dinner. While he’s gone, I start preparing the food and the dips for tomorrow. I want to get everything ready so we can just relax tonight.
They pull back in shortly after three and the food is just about ready.
“Perfect timing,” I yell out to them, as they walk through the front door.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yep, I’m just about ready to take the steaks off the grill.”
“A steak sounds good to me, what about you, Gramps?”
“Of course, it does. Thanks for inviting me. How are you doing, dear?” He leans forward as they come in the kitchen to give me a hug.
“Of course, you are always welcome over anytime you want. And I’m doing well, and you?”
“I’m hanging in there.”
“Gramps has been so busy with visitors that he hasn’t had a moment to himself. Isn’t that right?” Jesse says as he pats him on the back.
“Yes, it’s been one after another at the house. Hopefully, it slows down soon.”
“It probably will after the next day or two.” I let him know my thoughts on it.
We all sit down together and enjoy the quietness of the outdoors as we gather around the table. We chat but nothing too extreme, I can tell they are both looking just to relax for the evening.
Jesse drove his grandfather back while I picked up and did all the dishes. He returns as I’m pulling the last batch of cookies out of the oven. I’ve already decided to get up early and bake the cupcakes before we leave.
“Thanks for tonight, Cupcake. You put together a nice dinner and we both appreciated it.”
“No problem, I’m glad I could help you both, in some way.”
“You’re a huge help to me every day.” I place a tiny kiss to her lips as I hold her close.
“What time do you think we’ll need to leave tomorrow morning?”
“Probably at nine fifteen, we’ll leave to pick up Grandpa since the viewing is at ten. Then friends and family may come at eleven to one to pay their respects. And anybody wanting to stay for the funeral will wait since it’ll start right after one.”
“Sounds good. Your suit was pressed today and it’s hanging in your closet.”
“Good, thanks Maddie.”
The rest of the night we spend just relaxing on the couch, watching some movie that I don’t think either of us truly watched. Jesse presses me tightly against his body, and any time I shift, he pulls me back in. It’s as if he can’t get me close enough to him.
We find our way to the bedroom, just before midnight. As I change into one of his t-shirts, which has gotten to be my favorite thing to sleep in, he drops his shorts and climbs into the bed. He lies there with the blanket stopping just above his goods, exposing his tight fit abs and his goodie line. He has one arm behind his head, and the other one rests next to him, I know he’s waiting for me to slide in next to his body. Shutting off the lights, the bed dips as I crawl up on it. His other arm wraps around me, as I knew it would.
The moonlight coming through the window is making his body glow. Lord, he’s beautiful. My finger starts drawing boxes around each of his abs. I can’t help myself, they are staring me in the face every time I lie near him.
“What are you doing, Cupcake?”
“Just drawing,” I giggle.
Never before would I start any advances, pretty much I was all talk outside this room but inside, I became the nervous girl that needed the guy to take over. But with Jesse, I come out of my comfort zone.
“Cupcake, you are two minutes away from being flipped over and then I’m going to show you how teasing affects me. And I guarantee you, I’ll do it until you beg me to stop.”
“You just stay where you are, Mister. Tonight is about you and making you forget for five minutes.”
“Just five minutes…” He smirks at me.
“Haha, you know what I mean. You brat, you’re ruining my seduction here.” I poke his side, pouting.
He chuckles, grabbing my finger. “Okay, Cupcake, I’ll behave, I’m all yours, do as you wish.”
“Hmmm, as I wish? Where’s the cuffs.” I look around like I’m really looking for some.
“Not on your life, lady. Your wrists are the only ones that’ll be in them.”
“Wait, you have a pair…like for real?” I didn’t know that, it’s something we haven’t indulged in.
“Hmm, wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Yes, I would, as a matter of fact.”
“Haha, one day you may just find out.”
“Jesse…”
“Maddie…all this talk is making me harder than before.”
I giggle at him before continuing my teasing assault. His own fingers are lightly making trails up and down my back. Just as I’m about to put my mouth on his body, he flips me over and settles between my legs.
There is no waiting, he crashes our bodies together instantly. I love the way he takes charge.
“I wanted this to be about you tonight, Mister. You should have let me do what I wanted.”
“No, tonight we start and finish together, or we don’t do this at all,” he growls out.
And that is just what we do. He clasps his chest against mine, as we both catch our breath for a moment. We find our way to the bathroom and then the bed again, this time to snuggle in close, letting sleep settle in.
“I love you, Cupcake. Thank you for being here for me.”
“Nowhere else I’d rather be. I love you too, Jesse.”
JESSE
Today might be the hardest day of my entire life, the only day that might be more difficult is the day I’ll lose the man that raised me. I can’t even fathom that thought right now, or ever, so I push it out of my mind.
I’m in the shower while Maddie is downstairs making coffee. I think she knew I needed this
time to myself, to gather my thoughts and to get in the right frame of mind. I need to be strong for Gramps today, I know I have to, now I just hope I can be.
After dressing in my suit, I make my way to the kitchen, seeing Maddie in a black flowing dress that stops at her knees makes me pause and stare. Knowing she will be by my side today will make it just a little bit easier. She looks amazingly beautiful with curls down the middle of her back and her face with just a dash of make-up on, letting her natural beauty shine through.
“Hey, gorgeous, there you are, coffee is on the table along with a muffin.”
“I’m not hungry but coffee sounds great. Thank you.” I kiss her cheek before reaching for the cup.
“You need to eat something, too.”
“My stomach is doing flip-flops, I’m thinking it’s not a good idea right now.”
“Okay, well I’m taking mint Lifesavers and gum, so if you need anything, let me know.”
“You’ve thought of everything, huh?”
“I’m trying. Oh, and my parents called to say they are thinking of you today, and if there’s anything you need to call them.” Even though her parents and I have only met a couple of times, when they’ve come out this past year, they are still just as sweet and loving as she is.
“Please tell them thank you, and let them know that their daughter is doing an incredible job taking care of me.” This time my kiss lands on her lips.
The drive over to my grandfather’s is quiet, no words are needed right now. Nothing will make this easier, so why try. Once we get there, I walk in to see him dressed in his favorite suit. He looks sharp. Maddie insists he take the passenger seat, even though he argues with her, she still settles in the backseat. After we all buckle in, we’re off to the place that holds our beautiful angel.
Just walking into the building is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, but I show no signs of it. I pat Grandpa on the shoulder and hold Maddie’s hand, as the three of us head into the room where Gramma lies peacefully. Looking over at the casket that is closed, we wait for the director to come in to talk to us. It only takes a few minutes before he opens it up, and we see the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
“Oh, honey…” Grampa says, before he breaks down in front of her.