by Anise Eden
I groaned and shoved him away from me. “Go home already!”
Sid’s eyes shone with real emotion as he said, “Bye, my dear. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Never,” I called after him with a catch in my throat as he turned and walked out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ben was waiting for me when I got back. Looking very pleased with himself, he offered me his arm again. I gave him a sideways glance as we walked.
“That was very thoughtful of you,” I murmured.
“Of course. I wanted you to feel at ease about Sid’s wellbeing. I also respect the way he handled everything he’s gone through on our behalf this week.”
“So you were killing three birds with one stone: thanking Sid, reassuring me that he’s okay—and showing him in person how Marine-y you are.”
“Marine-y?” Ben arched an eyebrow.
“Yes, and job well done,” I said dryly. “He’s duly intimidated.”
“Hm.” He brushed an imaginary piece of lint off of his jacket sleeve. “I don’t know why. I thought I was perfectly polite.”
As I tried to think of a pithy comeback, Skeet brought Dr. MacGregor over to our table. It was a little disorienting to see Skeet out of his lab coat and wearing a suit. He looked pretty dashing for a research scientist. Meanwhile, Dr. MacGregor was elegant in a light blue dress covered with a layer of white lace. Judging from their comfort and ease with one another, I could see that they were indeed old friends.
“You doing okay over there, Cate?” Skeet asked.
“Fine now, thanks,” I said.
He smiled warmly and nodded at Dr. MacGregor. “I hope you realize what an amazing boss you have.”
She waved Skeet’s compliment away as Ben returned and sat a tray of champagne glasses on the table. He placed one in front of me, whispering, “Sparkling cider. Program rules.”
It seemed completely unfair that I should be expected to adhere to ParaTrain’s dietary rules at a party where I had been honored. But before I could object, Dr. MacGregor cut in. “Congratulations. Skeet tells me that you were an extraordinary help this week. I knew you were a good hire.” She smiled affectionately—an expression of hers I hadn’t seen before. “And it’s lovely to see you and Ben together like this. The ring suits you, by the way.”
“Thank you,” I said, touched by her words. “I love the ring. I guess I have you to thank.”
“You’re most welcome, but you only need to thank Ben. It was always his to do with as he pleased.” She gestured towards the box. “It seems you have an unopened gift, there.”
“Yes, of course.” I had wanted to wait until I was in private to open it, but thanks to Dr. MacGregor, all eyes were on me. My hands trembled slightly as I picked up the box, untied the bow, and carefully removed the wrapping paper. I lifted the lid off of the small white box. There was glint of metal surrounded by tissue paper. I reached in and pulled out a delicate gold bracelet. Each end of a snake chain was fastened to a beautifully ornate anchor charm. With the bracelet draped over my fingertips, all I could do was stare.
There were ooohs and ahhs around the table. Ben slid his arm around my waist and leaned in close. His nearness relaxed me. “An anchor,” he murmured. “I wonder what it means?”
“He said that about Pedra,” I whispered. “He said she was his anchor.”
“Mmm.” Ever so subtly, Ben brushed his lips across my temple, sending a shiver of pleasure through me. “Would you like me to put it on for you?”
I bit my lip. It felt odd to wear a bracelet that belonged to a woman I’d never met (in life, that was), gifted to me by a friend who had just recently died. But as I thought about Braz and his vigorous love of life, I knew that he would think such considerations were silly, and would encourage me to embrace his gift. I held out the bracelet and nodded.
With a surprising agility given his man-sized fingers, Ben managed to operate the clasp and close the bracelet neatly around my wrist. I blinked back tears as I thought of what the symbol meant to Braz, and why he would have wanted me to have it. I knew that he thought Ben was a good anchor for me, or a “tether” to the earth, as he’d called it. As I leaned against Ben and inhaled his scent—a scent I had already begun to crave—I thought that maybe Braz was right.
All at once, it felt as though the sun was rising right in the middle of my chest. I smiled a genuine smile this time and held out my wrist to show the others. The emotions around the table were strong as everyone admired the bracelet.
Dr. MacGregor came over to take a closer look. “It’s lovely. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an anchor styled quite like that.”
“Me either. I’d like to do a little research into the design and find out where it originated.” I figured it was as good a time as any to set up a meeting with her. Unsure whether Skeet knew about her involvement in the kheir research, I was carefully vague. “Speaking of research, Dr. MacGregor, I’d love to talk to you more at some point about your work with the Smithsonian.”
Dr. MacGregor’s eyebrows flew upwards. “My, my,” she said, looking from me to Ben and back again. “So our people have been filling you in on some things, Cate. I’ll certainly be happy to talk to you about it. Tomorrow afternoon, perhaps? I’d be happy to make lunch for you and Ben.”
After our work on his phobia, Ben had managed to eat a meal in front of his mother. I was sure she was eager to repeat the experience. I glanced over at him. “Ben?”
He nodded. “Sounds perfect.”
She squinted over my shoulder. “Excellent, but I think some people over there are trying to get your attention.”
I followed her gaze. The other members of the MacGregor Group were waving at us from another table. Vani was with a date—Hector from Yankee Company. Clearly, some things had been going on in the subbasement to which I had not been privy. Captain Abbott was at another table with a few of the other marines, along with Dr. Washington. The rest of the marines filled out the other tables in the room.
We waved back at our friends, but visiting would have to wait; our entrées had arrived. Ben had ordered the salmon for me. Fortunately it was delicious, which made up somewhat for the fact that it wasn’t a huge slab of prime rib. Meanwhile, Ben hadn’t been given a meal—at his request, I assumed. While he had managed to eat in front of a crowd in the mess hall, he would probably have to work up to eating in a fancy restaurant. I slid my hand under the table and rested my hand on his leg. He reached down, taking my hand in his, and stroked the back of it with his thumb. It was nice to be able to do things like that without worrying who was watching.
Since I had arrived later than everyone else, after lunch, Ben and I walked from table to table and said our hellos. The more walking and standing I did, the more relieved I was that I’d given the Jimmy Choos a pass.
When we reached Nessa and Kevin’s table, they both practically crushed me with bear hugs. Nessa took a moment to admire the bracelet. “You get all the nice jewelry,” she said with a wink.
“I keep tellin’ ya, Red,” Kevin said, “all you gotta do is say you’ll marry me and I’ll give you so much jewelry you’ll need to buy a storage space just to hold it all!”
There was an outbreak of laughter. Ben shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re still trying after all these years.”
Kevin resolutely folded his arms across his chest. “You laugh, but I think I’m wearing her down!”
“Yeah, what’s that you always say?” Nessa asked him. “Persistence wins the day?”
“Damn right!” Kevin exclaimed with a broad grin.
“Then keep at it, big guy!” Nessa gave him an affectionate thump on the back.
This prompted another round of laughter. Then Nessa addressed Ben and me. “Listen you two, don’t be strangers, okay? We went too long without seeing you this time. Good friends are hard to find.”
“We promise,” Ben said.
I reached out my hand, and she took it. “Thank you for everything,” I
said softly.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you’re welcome.” She gave me a warm smile and then waved us off. “You’d better get going. Your people over there are looking restless.”
The MacGregor Group’s table was our final stop. We pulled up chairs, smiling as Vani and Hector tried to take their eyes off of each other long enough to greet us. Everyone admired my bracelet. We had a bittersweet conversation about what an extraordinary person Braz was, and what a large hole his absence had created.
The table fell silent for a while. Then, with prompting from Kai, Pete stood up and said he had something important to tell us.
“What is it?” I asked, fascinated to see the confident cowboy looking at the ground and shuffling his feet back and forth.
“Well.” He looked at Kai, who gestured for him to continue. He glanced up at Ben and me. “We just wanted to let you know that there’s gonna be a wedding.”
“What?” I gaped at them. “You’re engaged?”
Kai beamed and nodded vigorously, then nudged Pete. “Tell her what happened!”
Pete pushed his hat back and rubbed his hairline. “Lydia called.”
My hands flew up to cover my wide-open mouth. Lydia was Pete’s little sister. He hadn’t been allowed to speak to her in years, ever since he came out of the closet and his parents disowned him. “Are you serious? When?”
“Last night.” A look of pride crept across his face. “She’s a freshman at college now, eighteen years old and livin’ away from home, and she managed to track me down. Gol darn stupid and bull-headed as always, she called Marine Corps headquarters and kept buggin’ people until they patched her through to me.” In spite of his harsh words, he beamed with pride. “So Lydia said she never cared who I dated, and she thinks our folks are backwards rednecks. I yelled at her for bein’ disrespectful, of course. But then she said she wants to come out and meet Kai.”
Unable to contain himself any longer, Kai jumped in. “We’re having her out here for a few days during her Thanksgiving break, and she said she’s going to work on his parents, too—try to bring them around. Isn’t that incredible?”
“Truly!” I flung myself at Pete, hugging him tightly, and did the same to Kai. Ben embraced them both as well. The excitement around the table was palpable.
Pushing his hat back down, Pete added softly, “Even if my folks don’t come around, at least I’d have some family at the wedding. Plus, Lydia said some of my cousins might come, too. So Kai and me, we decided to just go ahead and do it.”
Pete wrapped his arm around Kai’s shoulders as they exchanged an intimate look that spoke volumes.
“By the way, Ben, I’m already working on designing my ring,” Kai said, “and it’s not going to be cheap, so you’d better give Pete a raise.”
Pete grimaced, and the whole table laughed—except for Kai, who looked perfectly serious.
“Consider it done,” Ben said with a firm nod.
After a bit more mingling, the high level of emotion flowing through the room began to overwhelm me. Even though it was all positive, I felt as though I’d hit an energetic wall. I pulled Ben aside and confided in him. “I feel so bad. Skeet went to all of the trouble to plan all of this this, and you arranged for our shopping trip and everything…. I know this is horrible, but I just… I don’t know how much longer I can last.”
To my surprise, Ben folded me into his arms and held me for several moments. I allowed my body to relax into his. He placed a kiss on the top of my head, sending tendrils of warmth all the way down to my toes. Then he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “You’ve been a champion today. I’m impressed that you’ve lasted this long. Let’s slip out. I’ll have my mother make our apologies.”
“No,” I objected, pulling away slightly. “We can’t just slip out! That would be rude. We at least have to say goodbye to everyone, and thank Skeet….” But even as I said the words, I doubted whether I would have the stamina.
Ben looked down at me, his eyes sparkling like the stone in my ring. “You don’t get it yet, do you? All I care about is you—all I care about.” He again enfolded me in his arms. “These are all people who love us. They’ll understand. They’ll probably stay for a few more hours drinking; they won’t even notice we’re gone. Let’s go. The limo’s outside.”
I gritted my teeth. “I don’t know.”
In spite of my words, though, I must have looked relieved. Ben murmured intently, “You pretend you’re going to the ladies’ room, but instead, go outside and get in the limo. I’ll have a quick word with Skeet and my mother and meet you there.”
I couldn’t help myself; I smiled. “Okay.”
“Good. The coast is clear. Go!”
I tossed my blown-out waves and tried to look casual as I headed for the double doors. Kai waved me over, but I mouthed “bathroom.” He nodded and turned back to the conversation at the table. Outside, the limo was waiting as promised. I hopped in the back and kicked off my shoes. My heart was beating against my ribs like a wild bird in a cage, but I couldn’t stop smiling. Ben had said that I was all he cared about. Although I knew that wasn’t true, as long as I was somewhere near the top of his list, I really couldn’t ask for more.
Minutes later, Ben burst in, slammed the door, and knocked on the divider between our compartment and the driver’s.
“Yes sir?”
“Baltimore, please. The lady would like to go home.”
“Yes, sir,” the driver replied and discreetly closed the divider.
Still troubled, I peered over at Ben. “Was Skeet okay with this?”
Ben gave me a wry half-smile. “He said, and I quote, ‘You two kids have some fun.’”
I moaned, slapping myself on the forehead. “It sounds like he thinks we’re going to get up to something!”
I yelped in surprise as with a loud growl, Ben leaned over, grabbed me, and pulled me onto his lap. “What a great idea,” he said in a low, seductive rumble. “By the way, your MVP gift from me isn’t quite ready yet, but we should be able to pick it up in a few days.”
“My what?”
“Braz isn’t the only one who’s allowed to give you presents, is he?”
I threw my head back and laughed. “Oh my God, Ben, please tell me you’re joking. An MVP gift? You just bought me this dress, for goodness’ sake—”
“The MacGregor group paid for that dress—which I think you should wear every day from now on, by the way, as long as there are no other men around.” He settled me into his lap so he could get a firmer grip. “If it makes you feel any better, your next gift is for my benefit as well as yours.”
What did that mean? Had he custom-ordered some lingerie or something? But my curiosity was momentarily overshadowed by my embarrassment. I didn’t know if constant gift giving was a part of normal relationships or just a Ben thing, but already there was no way I could match his generosity. I balled my hands into fists and shoved them into my lap to keep from biting my nails.
Ben leaned over and peered into my eyes like he was looking at me through a microscope. “What is it?”
“It’s just….” I shrugged, looking down at my hands. “You keep giving me gifts, and I haven’t given you any. And I can’t—not like the ones you’ve given me, I mean.”
Ben splayed his fingers across my cheek and pressed my head against his shoulder, kissing a trail along my hairline. I shivered with pleasure. “You’re coming to work for the MacGregor group,” he murmured. “We’re together. You’re healthy and safe. Those are gifts of limitless value, Cate. You’ve already given me more than I ever could have wished for.”
A riot of butterflies loosed themselves in my stomach. I didn’t know whether what I was feeling was joy, terror, or both. As my whole body flushed with heat, I tried to squirm away from Ben, just to feel the relief of some cool air between us. But within seconds, he pulled some kind of tricky hand-to-hand combat move, using my motion to shift our bodies again until I was cradled tightly in
his arms, our faces mere inches apart.
“What are you doing?” I stammered, as a mighty blush burst across my cheeks like a red brushstroke.
“Examining you.” Ben looked me over carefully, his face a solemn mask of concern. He smoothed a perfectly styled lock of hair away from my temple and rested the back of his hand against my forehead. “I’m a little worried,” he murmured. “You seem feverish.”
I made one last attempt to pull away from him before admitting defeat. I collapsed against him with a sigh. “That’s because I’m blushing, you moron.”
“Hmm.” He nodded sagely. “I know how to make that worse.”
I squinted up at him. “Did you say worse?”
“I did. Come here, Trouble.” Ben covered my mouth with his, swallowing my startled cry. He pulled me even more tightly against his body. Then, true to his word, he proceeded to deepen my blush, brazenly and determinedly, all the way home.
The Desolate Kiss
Your tongue ran like a stream
across parched earth, filling in cracks,
opening all that was closed and locked,
your lips lending their passion to mine
to speak again, to cry out.
Yours were the painstaking fingers
untying all the knots so tightly wound,
touching each of the human needs
my body had forgotten, breathing fire
back into this warrior’s limbs.
We were forged together,
a double helix, as inseparable
as the building blocks of life,
tumbling and roaring through the city,
then sleeping in the dream we made.
So bitter it is to dream.
Better to be blank and empty,
sleepwalking through each day, than to know
the foul taste of dreams torn away
by the same lovers who gave them life.
This beaten dog’s pure and hopeless hope