“Language,” Grandma barked, quick as a wink. She was upset about the house, but that didn’t mean I was allowed to curse.
“Sorry, Grandma.”
“I don’t want you hanging out with those kinds of people anymore,” she told me.
“Definitely not,” I replied. “They’re seriously jerks. This really goes to prove it.”
“I should call their mothers and make those hooligans come over here and scrub my house.”
“Uh, I’m not really sure how to get a hold of them,” I scrambled. “I didn’t know them for very long. I’m sure they’ll leave us alone now that they’ve done this.”
“That’s fine, but if you see them again, Herbert, you tell me right away. This is vandalism. It’s illegal.”
“I will. This is definitely not cool.”
“And Herbie.” Grandma softened. “You’d let me know if you were upset or depressed or…” She paused for a moment and then continued in a half whisper, “having suicidal thoughts?”
I pulled back in surprise. “Grandma, I’m not depressed. Killing yourself is totally stupid. Why would you even ask me that?”
“Well, it’s just they fished three more dead teenagers out of the Cuyahoga this morning. Slit their wrists and jumped off a bridge or something.” She clucked her tongue and shook her head. “If this crazy fad keeps up, there won’t be any young people left in this town.”
“Oh.” I gulped. “Um… That’s awful. Slit their wrists and jumped off a bridge.” I felt my stomach shrivel. “That’s really…” I sought the right word. “Bad.”
“Just promise me you and your friends would never do anything that stupid no matter how popular suicide gets.”
“I promise.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. Now go around and get the hose,” Grandma ordered, locking into a brisk, let’s-get-this-cleaned-up-before-the-neighbors-see mode.
“Okay.” I started jogging toward the back of the house.
“Let’s get this cleaned up before the neighbors see,” she called after me. I stifled a laugh. Grandma and I had lived together just the two of us for way too long.
Due to poor spigot placement and an unreasonably short hose, it made more sense to drag the green tangled tube between our house and the neighbor’s instead of down the driveway. Every time I used the hose, I swore I was going to coil it properly, and I never did. So I fought with it, stopping every two or three steps to unknot a knot or unkink a kink. I wasn’t exactly paying attention to my feet until I felt something give way, a crunch and a splat. Looking down, I realized that a small nest filled with chicken eggs had been placed beneath my bedroom window. I’d broken two of the eggs, and red slime covered my left foot. Fortunately, I had the hose with me, so at least that wasn’t a problem. There was a note tucked in with the eggs, and I snatched it from the nest. It read, “After everything I’ve done for you and you still don’t know who I am.” There was a small flower drawn at the bottom of the note, much in the manner of the Scarlet Pimpernel, but I knew it was meant to be a violet.
*****
“Where is she?” Xander asked for the eleven-hundredth time. He’d just been trying Rini on her cell phone again, but she wasn’t answering.
When I showed up for work after scrubbing off dried egg all morning, Xander was at the mall, but Rini wasn’t. It was definitely strange. Rini was an incredibly conscientious employee. She rarely missed work and was never late. “Maybe her parents really decided to make the whole being grounded thing stick this time,” I offered. It was unlikely.
“No.” Xander shook his head. “They wouldn’t ground her from work. She needs the money for college.”
I sighed, glancing at my watch. There was only five minutes of my break left, and we’d spent the first ten talking about Rini. Xander had barely touched his reject pretzel, so I knew he was really worried. “I’m sure she’s fine,” I told him. “Maybe she’s sick or something.”
“Maybe,” he said, grudgingly ripping off a piece of pretzel and drowning it in spicy mustard. “It’s just she was so weird last night about the whole vampire thing. Can you even begin to believe she let that disgusting creature bite her?”
“Well,” I hemmed, “kind of.” Xander lowered his hand from his mouth, staring at me in disbelief. His look was so accusatory that I shoved my hands in the air between us, palms out, to ward it off. “Hey, I obviously didn’t sign the blood contract or anything, but I thought about it. I mean, it was seriously tempting.”
“Are you kidding? Why?”
“Xander, don’t be an idiot. Not everyone has it as easy as you. Did it ever occur to you that once in a blue moon I might like to have a girl actually interested in me?”
Xander let out a laugh that sounded more like a grunt. “Girls are interested in you all the time. You’re just too picky.”
“Yeah, right.” I pulled a folded newspaper out of my back pocket and slid it over to Xander. “Did you see this?” I tapped at an article.
Looking down, Xander took in the headline. “Triple Teen Suicide Continues Disturbing Trend,” he read.
There were school photographs of all three victims, and I pointed at the center shot. “Doesn’t that guy look familiar? Like, maybe it’s Mr. Helpful Purple Jacket.”
Xander leaned closer and squinted at the photo. “Nah, doesn’t look anything like him.”
“How about if he’d become one of the Chosen and handed over a few pints of blood? The nose is really similar. It could be the same guy.”
“No.” Xander shook his head. “It says here this kid was an honors student, and I don’t think he would do something as foolish as…”
“Rini,” I choked, interrupting him. Xander gave me an angry glare and was about to say something, but I nodded my head for him to look over his shoulder and said, “Rini’s here.”
Whipping around, Xander scanned the mall’s food court. “Where?”
“Right here.” Rini replied for me, slipping into a chair at our table.
“Where the hell have you been?” Xander thundered, sounding a lot more like a father than a concerned friend. “I called you like two million times.”
Rini smiled. There was something different about her, and I couldn’t quite figure it out. She looked great. Especially for someone who’d been a vampire snack the previous night. But it was more than that. She smiled wider, and then my brain clicked. “Rini, you got your braces off.”
“I know.” She ran her tongue over her teeth. “They feel great.”
“Well, why the hell are you so late for work?” Xander asked, barely sparing a glance for her straightened, pearly white teeth. “And where the hell is your uniform?”
Rini rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Mr. Hipsher. I didn’t realize you were secretly Aunt Agatha.”
“No, but seriously,” I interrupted before they started yelling at each other. Xander had a certain look in his eye. “Why are you late? Because of your braces?”
“Exactly.” She bestowed me with a smile. I had to admit, brace-free Rini was a lot hotter. “I had an appointment with my orthodontist this morning,” she explained. “He said my teeth were straight, and I could get my braces off right then if I wanted. He didn’t have another patient for a few hours, so I took him up on it.”
“Is that how it usually works?” Xander narrowed his eyes at her. “You just show up one day, and the orthodontist says he’s ready to take your braces off.”
“I have no idea.” Rini gave him a little pout. “This was the first time for me, so I don’t know how it usually goes.”
“Well, you could have called in, you know,” I told her. “Nigel had to come in, and he’s super pissed.” Nigel was the day manager, and he’d been making my life hell for the last four hours.
“Oh, well.” Rini shrugged.
“Rini, what are you talking about?” Xander demanded. “That Nigel guy is mega-pissed. I heard him yelling. You could get fired.”
This made Rini laugh a little. “Oh, I really d
on’t care. I was thinking of quitting anyway.”
“You were?” I asked. Actually, I was kind of hurt. Rini was the only thing that made working at Agatha’s even slightly tolerable. I couldn’t believe she would quit without at least giving me advanced warning. I shot a look at Xander to see how he was enjoying the new, wildly less considerate Rini. The look on his face made me freeze. He was staring at Rini’s neck with an expression of rage and fear that I’d never seen him wear before.
“What the hell is that?” Xander got to his feet so fast he knocked over his chair. “What the hell is around your neck?” He made a grab for Rini, but she was too quick for him, jerking out of his reach.
I craned my neck, trying to figure out what she’d done to make him spaz, and then I saw it. Dangling from a silver chain around Rini’s neck was an enamel, multicolored bat pendant.
Chapter 21
“You are never to go back there,” Xander raged. “You understand me? Never.”
“You’re not my father,” Rini shouted right back at him. “You understand me? Not my father.”
Having them both screaming at each other in the middle of Westgate Mall really served no purpose and was starting to get a little embarrassing, so I said, “Both of you sit down and shut up.” Surprisingly, they did it. “Now let’s just figure this thing out. Rini, did you go back to the vampire’s lair?”
“No,” Rini growled. “I went to the orthodontist like I told you. In case you haven’t figured it out, vampires can’t magically get braces off of teeth.”
“Okay, fair enough,” I told her. “But you can see how we might be concerned since you’re wearing a vampire necklace.”
“You signed up to be a blood bag and then you went back to make it official,” Xander growled.
“Easy,” I cautioned Xander. We weren’t going to get any information out of Rini if he kept putting her on the defensive. I turned to look at our aspiring little vampire. “Xander’s got a point. We’re just a little worried here. Rini, where’d you get the necklace?”
Rini made a dismissive flapping motion with her hand. “It’s no big deal. They give one to you after you’ve been bitten for the first time. I thought I’d lost mine, but this morning I found it with my stuff.”
“So you thought you’d just wear it?” Xander demanded.
“Yes,” she replied, refusing to flinch. “I like it, and I thought I’d wear it. And besides…” She stood up from the table. “It’s really none of your business.”
She turned to walk away. Xander sat there stunned, but I called after her, “So are you working today or what? What about Nigel?”
Laughing, she threw me an amused look over her shoulder. “Tell him I quit.”
“Screw that,” I said, getting to my feet. I’d already run over my break by ten minutes, and I knew Nigel would probably blow a gasket. “If you don’t want to work here anymore, you can tell him yourself.” Rini just ignored me and kept on walking. A couple of young guys heading for the food court stretched their necks to watch her slink past.
“I can’t take this,” Xander said, bolting out of his chair and making a beeline for the nearest exit.
“Okay, well ping me later,” I called after him, but I don’t think he heard me. I was left standing there like an idiot with nothing better to do than go back to work and get yelled at for something that wasn’t my fault.
*****
I went straight home after my pretzel shift. I was grounded, and Grandma was already pretty shaken up by the egging, so I didn’t want to upset her even more. For dinner, she made liver and onions, a dish she loves and I hate, so either she was trying to prepare comfort food for herself or torture me with something I found disgusting. Knowing Grandma, probably a little bit of both. After eating, we sat in the living room and watched TV. It wasn’t the most exciting evening of my summer vacation. But on the other hand, it was much better than being tortured by a blood-crazed vampire. It had that going for it.
About a quarter to ten, I couldn’t take it anymore and told Grandma I was headed for bed. In my room, I kept an ear cocked, and when I heard her get up to get something from the kitchen, I connected my dial-up. As soon as I logged on, there was a message waiting from Xander:
Xan-Z-Bar: You hear from Rini?
Sherbert: No. You?
Xan-Z-Bar: No. What the hell is wrong with her?
Sherbert: Vampire hysteria?
Xan-Z-Bar: Not funny.
Sherbert: Not trying to be.
Xan-Z-Bar: Do you think she’ll go back there?
I thought about it. If I was honest, yes. She’d head back to the bridge in a heartbeat. But was that something to tell Xander? He was already acting pretty freaked out. So I hedged.
Sherbert: Maybe not.
Xan-Z-Bar: I need you to meet me outside in twenty minutes.
Sherbert: Can’t. Grandma. Grounded
Xan-Z-Bar: Tell her you’re going to bed.
Sherbert: She’s not an idiot.
Xan-Z-Bar: Sneak out the window.
Sherbert: Why?
Xan-Z-Bar: I need your help.
Sherbert: For what?
Xan-Z-Bar: If Rini was stupid enough to go back to the bridge then we’re going to get her.
Sherbert: That’s crazy.
Xan-Z-Bar: No it’s not. That vampire won’t let anyone hurt us.
Sherbert: Read over what you just typed. Does it make sense to you?
Xan-Z-Bar: Fine. I’ll come by at two. Grandma will be asleep.
Sherbert: No, she won’t.
Xan-Z-Bar: Just do it.
Sherbert: No.
Xan-Z-Bar: See you at two.
Xander signed off before I could protest further. He was absolutely out of his mind if he thought I was meeting him to go charging back into the vampire’s lair. Here’s the thing about vampire lairs, there are vampires in there. Creepy, blood-sucking, waxy-skinned, roofie-dosing vampires.
I tried to reason myself out of worrying about Rini. She was a smart girl. She was acting a little weird lately, but would she really go skipping back to the vampire just to look pretty? That was way too superficial / suicidal to be something the Rini I knew would even consider. Her brain didn’t work like that. Of course, Rini was wearing that bat pendant. But that didn’t mean anything. She probably just liked it as a cool piece of jewelry. I mean, I liked them too before I knew their meaning.
Xander would probably calm down in an hour or two and realize his plan was idiotic. Or knowing him, he’d fall asleep. I’d be left standing out at the curb waiting for him, and he’d never show. Any way you sliced it, I wasn’t going back to the bridge, end of self-discussion. I turned off my light and climbed into bed.
I fell asleep pretty quickly considering everything that had happened in the last couple of days. But I was also dead tired. My dreams were not all that restful, but at least I was sleeping. That was until the sound of a shrill girl cackle rocketed me out of the bed. There were several seconds while my heart was hammering in my chest where I didn’t know if I had been dreaming or if the crazy chicks were back for a second drive-by egging.
There was a gentle tapping at my window. “Sherbie,” someone called in a hushed female voice. “Are you in there?”
My temper hit the roof. It was one thing for the freaks to try to kill us as we fled the vampire’s lair. I mean, we had walked into the lion’s den of our own free will so fair enough. But to come by my house and upset my grandmother? That was another thing entirely. I knew it was Violet Girl out there with a bunch of her Nearling wannabe friends. They must have been off the clock as far as vampire duties and decided that harassing me sounded like a fun way to spend an evening.
My first impulse was to tear back the curtains and cuss them out for being the vampire-loving psycho bitches that they were. My second impulse was to keep quiet. If they knew I was home they’d probably never leave, and Grandma really didn’t need more vandalism done to her property. That’s when I heard the doorbell chime.
What the hell? They weren’t seriously thinking I’d let them into the house, were they? I checked the time. It was eleven thirty-seven. Waaay too late for callers.
There was no time to even grab a robe. I bolted for the door in my boxer shorts. With any luck, Grandma had gone to bed. More than likely, though, she had fallen asleep in her chair with the television on. I had to get to the door first and chase off the girls before Grandma could talk to them. Or worse yet, invite them in for tea.
As I sprinted through the living room, I noticed Grandma wasn’t in her chair. She wasn’t standing at the front door, either, so that was a good thing. I paused and listened. It sounded like there was a flock of girls standing on the front porch chatting. I was undetermined what to do until I heard one of the girls say, “He’s got to be in there, Maureen. Ring it again.” That’s when I wrenched the door open.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I shouted right in Violet Girl’s face.
There were about six gorgeous girls crowding behind Violet Girl as she stood at the door. The Chosen. It was all lustrous hair and glittering eyes out there. They collectively gave a little gasp as I flung the door open and then broke down into fits of hysterical giggles. That’s when I remembered I was only in my madras boxer shorts. Violet Girl didn’t giggle. She raked her eyes appraisingly over my body and then nodded her head. “Not bad. Have you been working out?” she asked with half a smirk.
It was all I could do to stop myself from checking that the fly on my shorts hadn’t flopped open. That really would have been the icing on the cake. “What do you want, Maureen?” I asked.
The cunning look in Violet Girl’s eyes softened, and she gave me a shy smile. “You remembered me,” she said, her face starting to glow. “I didn’t think you’d ever figure it out.”
“What are you talking about?” I demanded before it occurred to me that I actually should have played along.
Maureen’s face fell, and she turned her head away. “Never mind.”
Fangs for Nothing (Vampire Hunting and Other Foolish Endeavors) Page 14