That evening at dinner, Marcus was as sweet as ever with Natalie, and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe it was really her that drew him to me. Did that mean if I didn’t have her, he would no longer want to spend time with me? How ironic, I thought. Cameron’s interest in Natalie was minimal—he just seemed to be interested in me. But Marcus seemed to be the opposite. Why couldn’t I find someone who had both of those qualities rolled up into one?
Pushing aside my silly thoughts, I focused on enjoying my time with Marcus, regardless of why he chose to be with me.
“I’m glad the seller agreed to close on the sale in two weeks,” I said as I sprinkled salt onto my steamed vegetables.
Marcus nodded as he swallowed his steak. “Do you want to get started on your projects as soon as you close?”
“I haven’t even looked for carpet yet, but I guess I should paint the rooms before I have it installed.” I took a bite of the steamed broccoli.
“What about the tile work in the kitchen and bathrooms?”
“You said you’d help me find someone to do it.”
He smiled. “No. I said I’d help you do it.”
“Wait. You mean do the work myself?” I felt panic edging in. “I don’t know the first thing about that.”
His smile grew. “That’s why I’ll be there to help.”
My mind immediately went to the day he’d helped me put in Greta’s dog door. He’d pretty much ended up doing the whole thing himself. But what I most vividly recalled was the way he’d knelt behind me when he was trying to show me how to use his power tools. A rush of warmth cascaded over me at the memory.
How would it be if we worked together again? I didn’t know if I could handle it when I knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere. But what other choice did I have? I didn’t feel comfortable spending a lot of money hiring people, and Cameron had made it clear he wasn’t the handy type. I nodded, resigned to the idea. “Okay. Thanks.”
“On Saturday I can go with you to look at tile,” he said.
“Shouldn’t we wait until I close on the house?”
“You don’t have to buy the tile yet, but I think you should know what you want to get, and then once you close on the house, we’ll just need to buy it. Then we can get started right away.”
I smiled, starting to see the possibilities. “Maybe we can get it done before Natalie and I move in.”
“Exactly.”
“Thanks, Marcus. I really appreciate all you do for us.” And I did. Whether he was just doing it for Natalie’s sake or not, he made my life a little easier.
He gazed at me, his green eyes bright. “Like I’ve told you, Lily. I’d do anything for you.”
As I stared back, I felt something pass between us, and for a moment hope flared in my heart, but then I thought about his statement only weeks before that we could only be friends, and my hopes plummeted back to earth.
I nodded, a tiny smile on my lips, but I couldn’t speak as it seemed my throat had swollen with unshed tears.
Chapter 24
Late the next afternoon I put Natalie in her stroller and wheeled her outside for a walk. Greta was on a leash and the three of us walked down the street past Trish and Jeff’s house. As I passed, I noticed an unfamiliar car in their driveway. We walked for half an hour, in which time Natalie fell asleep, before turning around and heading toward home.
As I approached Marcus’s parent’s house, I saw Trish standing in the driveway talking to a woman with blonde hair.
“Lily,” Trish called out, then waved me over.
Holding tightly to Greta’s leash, I pushed Natalie’s stroller up Trish’s driveway.
Trish went to Greta and scratched her ears. “Hello, Greta,” she murmured.
I smiled to see that they really had become old friends. “She really likes you, Trish.”
Trish stood. “She’s a good dog.”
“I completely agree.”
“Lily,” Trish said, motioning to the woman standing next to her. “I’d like you to meet Chelsea.”
I felt my eyes widen, but I quickly gathered myself and put a smile on my face. “Hello,” I said, examining the woman closely. I thought she must be several years older than me, and dressed in her slacks and flattering blouse, I had to admit that she looked lovely. Her blonde hair was cut in a stylish way, and her smile was genuine—making me wonder if Marcus had told her much about me.
“We were just talking about the surprise birthday dinner party we’re having for Marcus on Saturday night,” Chelsea said.
“Yes,” Trish added. “And I wanted to invite you and Natalie.”
“Oh.” Caught off guard not only by the invitation, but also by finally meeting Chelsea, I scrambled to think of a reason to refuse. As much as I liked to spend time with Marcus, the thought of seeing him with Chelsea made my stomach churn, and I knew I would only be torturing myself if I subjected myself to an evening of witnessing their love for each other. “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make it,” I finally said, still having no legitimate excuse.
“Oh,” Trish said. “That’s too bad.”
I’d been so focused on my house hunt, that I’d forgotten Marcus’s birthday was coming up. It wasn’t actually until Monday, but I hadn’t even thought of what to get him. Greta tugged against the leash. “I’d better get these guys home.”
“It was nice meeting you,” Chelsea said.
“You, too.” I wheeled the stroller around and walked back toward the street and to my house. Once safely inside, I carried Natalie up the stairs and put her down in her crib, then I went into my room and collapsed on my bed.
Now that I knew what Chelsea looked like, it was impossible to keep the image of her with Marcus out of my mind. Mini-films of them huddled together at work, dancing late at night, gazing at each other and kissing, paraded through my mind. I couldn’t seem to control the visuals as they stubbornly marched into my head and refused to leave.
I squeezed my eyes closed and felt tears flow down my cheeks. Angrily, I wiped at my face. Why was I even getting upset? Trish had told me weeks ago that Marcus was interested in Chelsea. Deep-down, had I doubted her? Well, there was no doubt now. I’d seen her face to face. At Trish’s house, no less. Planning a surprise party for Marcus.
After a short while I was able to get my emotions under control, and just then, my phone rang. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID. Cameron. At least I have him, I thought, feeling sorry for myself. “Hello?”
“Hey, Lily. How’s the house hunt going?”
“Cameron, it’s so good to hear from you.” I felt my mood lifting to know there was a man who cared about me. True, he would never be Marcus, but he was a good person. “It’s going great, actually. I found a place and the seller accepted my offer.”
“That’s fantastic.” The enthusiasm in his voice was unmistakable. “Do you know when you’ll be moving in?”
I laughed. “Why? Are you available to help me move?”
“Somehow I always seem to get pulled into people’s moving dramas. So, yeah. I’ll make sure I’m available.”
“I don’t have a specific date yet, but before I move in I need to do some work on the place.”
“Oh yeah? So you decided to go for a fixer?”
“The place was perfect, and it felt like home. It just needs some paint and some updating.”
He was quiet for a moment. “You know I’d like to help you, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m no handyman.”
I laughed. “It’s okay. I have it covered.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” But now when I thought of spending time with Marcus, I felt sick inside. All hope seemed to be gone. Clearly, he was with Chelsea now. I couldn’t blame him—he’d told me we were only going to be friends. It was only in my mind that I’d held on to a slim tether of possibility.
Now Cameron laughed. “Good. Off the hook.”
With some difficulty, I focused back on Cameron. “Yes.”
&nbs
p; “Do you still want to get together on Saturday?”
Several thoughts raced through my mind. I already had plans to shop with Marcus, but could I go through with it? If I cancelled, he’d surely ask why. What could I tell him? And eventually I would need his help to shop for tile. No, I would push myself to go, as painful as it would be.
But what about Saturday night? Marcus would be at his party with Chelsea and I would be sitting home alone. Unless I invited Cameron over. I could make dinner and we could spend time with Natalie. Now that all possibility with Marcus had ended, I needed to work on my relationship with Cameron, give him some time to get to know Natalie better.
“Yes,” I finally said. “I’ll be busy for part of the day, but why don’t you come over in the late afternoon? I can make us dinner.”
“Great. I’d love that.”
I smiled when I heard his eagerness, and once again I felt drawn to him, his undisguised desire to spend time with me wrapping around me like a soft blanket. It was exactly what I needed just then, and I felt my heart swelling with affection for the man I’d had so much fun with on my Alaskan cruise. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”
“Yes. Take care of yourself, Lily.” He paused. “And that cute baby of yours, too.”
Thrilled that he mentioned Natalie, my smile widened. “I will. Bye, Cameron.”
I set my phone down and stared at the ceiling, amazed by how my emotions could rocket from one extreme to another in such a short period of time.
Saturday morning dawned sunny and bright. It was Labor Day weekend, and the morning was cooler than it had been lately. As I waited for Marcus to arrive, my mind bounced between thinking of him with Chelsea, and thinking about my date with Cameron that night. My emotions ran the gamut too, making me anxious. Natalie must have felt my unsettled mood, because she was fussier than usual that morning.
“It’s okay, baby girl,” I soothed as I held her in my arms. “Everything will be okay.”
I had no idea if I was telling her the truth, but I hoped speaking the words out loud would convince myself as much as comfort her.
When Marcus knocked, Greta raced to the door, all wagging tail and lolling tongue. I laughed at her excitement, which helped to settle my mood a bit. I swung the door open and invited him in. I’d put Natalie in her swing, hoping that would calm her, and she had quieted.
“Good morning,” Marcus said, a smile on his face.
“Hey.”
“Are you ready for some tile shopping?” He was obviously in a great mood.
I wondered what his mood would be like that evening when Chelsea and his mom surprised him with a party. “I suppose.” His positive attitude was contagious and I found my spirits lifting. “Do you have some places in mind where we can shop?”
“Of course.”
“Great. Let me just get Natalie, and we can go.”
A short time later we were loaded into my car. I suggested Marcus drive since he knew where we were going.
“Do you have any idea what you want?” he asked, glancing at me.
I gazed at him, and unbidden came the thought, I want you to love me. My face heated and I turned away, looking out the window.
“Lily?” he asked.
I took a quick breath, then turned back, a faint smile on my face. “No.”
“Well, that’s no problem. I’m sure you’ll get a better idea once you see what they have.”
I nodded, staring at his profile as he drove. I wanted to reach out and stroke his face, and imagined doing it, then him turning to me with love in his eyes, and confessing that he’s loved me all along.
“What?” he asked, glancing at me with a smile, apparently feeling my eyes on him.
“Nothing.” Embarrassed at being caught staring, I said, “Just wondering how much experience you really have with installing tile.”
“Oh, I see,” he laughed. “You’re worried I’m going to mess it up.”
“Exactly. I mean, you come pretty cheap. And you haven’t even given me any references.” He looked at me and I narrowed my eyes. “How do I know I can even trust you?”
“You caught me. Now you know I’m only in it for the money.”
I laughed. “Yeah, because I pay so well.”
“I’ve helped my dad with some tiling projects over the years, so I’ve done it before.”
“Good, because I have no clue what to do.”
“Here we are,” he said as he pulled into a parking space in front of a large building. He got out of the car and opened my door for me.
I climbed out and stood next to him.
“They have so much to choose from,” he said. “I know you’ll find something you like.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He must have sensed my uncertainty. “Don’t worry, Lily. I’ll be there every step of the way.”
I flashed back to the day Natalie was born, and how he’d been in the delivery room. He’d truly been there for me at one of the most important events of my life. How could I give up on a future with him so easily? But then, how could I make him love me as more than a friend? If he didn’t feel that way about me, if he didn’t feel that spark, then I didn’t know how I could change that.
Resigned to loving him from afar, my shoulders slumped and I sighed.
“Hey,” he said, slipping one arm around my shoulder and pulling me against his side. “It really will be fine.”
I melted into him, desperately wanting to throw my arms around his neck and have him hold me close, but I knew I couldn’t take the rejection right now. Not when my emotions felt so fragile. He released me, leaving me feeling bereft, and walked around to Natalie’s door. I followed him and waited while he took her out of her car seat, then watched as he held her in his arms.
“Do you want me to take her?” I asked.
“No. I don’t get to see her very often, so I want to hold her while I can.” He laughed. “Before you know it, she’ll be so active that she won’t want anyone to hold her. I have to take advantage of her willingness to be held while it lasts.”
My love for him surged, and I couldn’t imagine anyone else being a father to her. Tears filled my eyes and I blinked to clear them.
He didn’t seem to notice my emotion and turned to go into the tile store. I followed him and a moment later we stood in front of a wall of tile displays. Pushing aside my thoughts of a father for Natalie, I focused on the task at hand. As I perused the choices, I felt my anticipation for the project building. I was buying a house. “There are so many,” I said. “And I like a lot of them.”
“Good. Just try to picture how they would look in your kitchen.”
I turned to him and grinned. “My kitchen.”
He returned my smile. “That’s right.”
We walked up and down the display aisles. “I like this glass tile.” I pointed to a sheet of blue and gray squares. “Can I use them for a backsplash in the kitchen?”
“You can do whatever you want. It’s your kitchen.”
I laughed. “Maybe I should rephrase that. Will you put these in the kitchen as a backsplash?”
His eyebrows rose. “I’ll show you how to do it.”
As I gazed at the tile, I felt my confidence growing. “We don’t have to use any power tools, do we?” I turned to him and smiled.
He must have remembered installing the dog door, because he smirked. “No. I won’t make you use the power tools.”
My smile dimmed. “So there are some involved with this project?”
“We’ll need to use a tile saw sometimes.”
“Oh.” My confidence in truly doing this on my own plummeted.
He laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to leave you on your own.”
Relief swept over me because I knew he would never do that. “You rock, Marcus. Do you know that?”
He grinned. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.”
I gently shoved the arm that wasn’t holding Natalie. “Now, don’t get a big head or a
nything.”
He laughed. “Never.”
We spent the next hour picking out tile and the other supplies we would need, then we went to another store and I found carpet and paint that I liked. By the time we finished, I felt much better about the project and much less overwhelmed.
“I think Natalie’s getting tired,” I said as we walked out to the car. Her head rested against Marcus’s shoulder and her eyelids drooped.
“What about you?”
“I have to admit, I’m kind of worn-out after all this decision making.”
He nodded. “Not to scare you, but picking stuff out is the easy part.”
I grimaced. “I don’t think I want to know that.”
He laughed. “You’d find out soon enough.”
We drove to my house and he carried Natalie in, then brought her up to her room. I watched him settle her in her crib—she’d fallen asleep on the drive home—and my heart swelled with feelings of tenderness for the man standing in my daughter’s room.
We tiptoed out of her room and went into the living room. I still needed to plan the meal I was making for Cameron, but I wasn’t eager for Marcus to leave. In fact, I wished it was him who I would be cooking for that evening. As much as I liked and was attracted to Cameron, he just wasn’t Marcus.
“Well, I’d better get going,” he said. “I have some things to get done before tonight. My parents invited me over for dinner later, so I just have a few hours.”
I noticed he said his parents had invited him for dinner and he hadn’t mentioned Chelsea. In fact, when I thought about it, I’d never heard him utter her name. Was that to spare my feelings? “I hope our errands didn’t keep you from getting your other things done.”
“No, it’s fine.” His eyes softened. “I enjoyed spending time with you and Natalie today.”
Me and Natalie, I thought. Not just me. “Me, too,” I said, pushing down my disappointment.
“Once you close, we’ll have lots of work ahead of us.” He grinned. “But I promise, once we’re done, you’ll be really glad you did all that work.”
“I hope you’re right.”
He reached for the door knob. “Trust me.”
Lily's Story: The Complete Saga Page 64