“We should be fine.”
I gazed at him as he stood looking at the wall, and I wanted to wrap my arms around him and feel his strong arms around me. Just having him here with me made me feel protected and secure, like everything would be okay.
He turned and looked at me, and an emotion I couldn’t read swept over his face, then was gone. “Ready to get started?” he said, his voice soft.
Had he seen the unguarded love in my eyes? My face heated with embarrassment and I walked over to the cans of paint on the kitchen counter. “Yes.”
I poured some paint into the tray and a few minutes later we were applying the second coat. An hour later we’d completed two rooms.
“This goes a lot faster when two people are doing it,” I said as I stood back and admired the finished kitchen.
He tilted his head to one side. “If you’d called me in the first place, I could have helped you from the start.”
I turned to face him, feeling chagrined under his stare. “I guess I didn’t want to take your time since I know the tile work will take longer to do.”
He gazed at me. “Lily, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m here for you?”
My heart pounded at the intense look he gave me, and my attraction to him was almost overwhelming. It took all of my self-restraint not to fling myself into his arms and profess my love for him. Before I had a chance to respond, his cell phone rang.
He pulled it from his pocket, looked at the caller Id and sighed, then answered. He paused as he listened to someone speaking. Then, “No, I can’t. I have plans all day today.” He gave me a quick smile as he listened, then, “Yes, that’s right.” He frowned as he listened. “Look, this isn’t a good time.” “Okay, bye.” He slid the phone back into his pocket, then focused back on me.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Nothing you need to worry about.” He smiled brightly. “Okay, what room do you want to do next?”
I kept my own frown from forming as I answered him, but inside I wondered who he’d been speaking to and what they were talking about. Was it Chelsea? If so, he sounded irritated with her. What did that mean? I tried not to think about it, and instead focused on the job at hand.
Partway through painting the bedroom we were in, Natalie became fussy.
“Go ahead and take care of her,” Marcus said. “I’ll keep working on this.”
“Thanks.” I picked Natalie up and brought her into the kitchen where I prepared a bottle and fed her, then put her down for a nap in the living room, where I’d set up a playpen. When I got back to the bedroom, Marcus was just finishing, and I smiled, pleased with the progress we were making.
By the time Natalie woke up, we’d finished the rest of the rooms.
“I can’t believe we finished,” I said.
“Why?” He grinned. “I told you we would.”
“Yes, but maybe I didn’t quite believe you.”
He laughed. “You shouldn’t doubt me, Lily.”
I smiled in return. “Okay. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“Good. And now that we’re done, do you want to buy the tile?”
“Sure. But I need to get some boxes so I can pack my stuff. Once the carpet’s in, I’ll want to get moved in.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
We bought the tile and brought it back to the house, then bought some boxes at the hardware superstore.
“Is your friend going to help you move?” Marcus asked as he set the broken-down boxes on the floor of my current place.
I looked at him and shook my head. “He won’t be able to make it.” I put Natalie in her swing and turned back to Marcus.
A look of annoyance crossed his face. “Forgive me, Lily, but he doesn’t seem like much of a friend.”
I pressed my lips together, wondering how I could explain Cameron’s absence without revealing that he’d dumped me. I didn’t know why it was important to me that Marcus believe Cameron was still in my life—maybe I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me or worry about me, or maybe since he had Chelsea, I didn’t want him to know I had no one. “He lives up in Sacramento and it’s hard for him to get away from work sometimes.” Both true as far as I knew.
Marcus nodded. “Okay. Whatever. I’ll see if my Dad can help me move your stuff.” He looked around my small living room. “It shouldn’t take too long.” He turned to me. “What day did you want to move?”
Guilt that he was doing so much for me washed over me. As much as I wanted to tell him I could do it myself, in reality, I couldn’t, so I had to swallow my pride and let him help. “Uh, I guess on Tuesday? I can start moving the small stuff myself, but if you and your dad can move the big stuff, that would really help.” I paused. “But if Tuesday doesn’t work for you guys, we can do it whenever you can.” I bit my lip. “Sorry.”
His brow creased. “What are you sorry about?”
Pity for my lackluster—or nonexistent, really—love life, plus my total dependance on Marcus for so many things, not to mention my unrequited love for him, left me feeling dejected and melancholy. Tears flooded my eyes and I blinked, trying to force them back, but when I spoke, my voice shook, and the tears insisted on making their presence known. “I just feel like a burden sometimes,” I choked out as a tear slid past my eyelashes and tracked down my cheek. My voice dropped to a whisper. “Sorry.”
He reached out and pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against him.
Several emotions roared through me—euphoria at being in his arms, comfort and security, and a powerful and overwhelming love toward this man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. My trickle of tears turned into a torrent, and I sobbed against his chest, sorrow that what I wanted so much was beyond my grasp.
“It’s okay, Lily,” he murmured into my ear. “Everything will be okay.”
We stood that way for several minutes and I wanted to stay in the safety of his arms forever, but eventually my tears stopped and my sobs slowed to an occasional sigh, and his arms loosened from around me. Though I didn’t want to move away from him, I couldn’t very well stand there forever, and at last I stepped back.
He put his finger under my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his, then he wiped a stray tear from my cheek. I gazed into his eyes, willing him to love me, just love me, but he just stared back, and I couldn’t read his emotions.
“You’ll never be a burden,” he finally said, smiling gently. “Don’t ever feel that way.” His green eyes sparkled. “Not with me.”
I nodded slightly, and he moved his finger away from my chin. I knew my face must be a mess, so I excused myself and went into the bathroom. Staring at myself in the mirror, I tried to figure out why he seemed to be stuck in the friend-zone, but then a thought occurred to me, and I gasped.
Maybe he felt toward me like I felt toward Cameron. Though I’d wanted to build a relationship with Cameron, I couldn’t get past my feelings for Marcus. Maybe Marcus wanted to feel more for me than friendship, but he was in love with Chelsea. Of course maybe he was perfectly happy being just my friend, but in either case, that’s where he was stubbornly staying.
My shoulders slumped as I realized that as much as I loved Marcus, and as much as I wanted him to love me back, he couldn’t make himself love me like that, just like I couldn’t make myself love Cameron. Fresh tears flooded my eyes, and I allowed them to fall for a minute, then I took several deep breaths until I was able to get myself under control. I splashed cool water on my face and blew my nose, took one last look in the mirror, then opened the door. When I came out of the bathroom, Marcus was holding Natalie in his arms, a bottle to her lips.
He looked at me and smiled. “She was getting hungry. I hope it’s okay that I went ahead and fixed her a bottle.”
It was more than okay, and I nodded. “Yes, thank you.”
“Are you okay?” His face showed his sincere concern.
I gazed into his incredible green eyes. “I’ll be fine.” I hoped the words convince
d him, because I had no idea if they were true.
He stayed long enough to put the boxes together, but then he stood to go.
“Thank you again for your help,” I said.
He nodded. “I’ll check with my dad about moving the big stuff on Tuesday and I’ll let you know if that works for him.”
I walked him to the door, and after he left I began packing, afraid that if I didn’t keep busy then my thoughts would focus on my bleak future and I’d dissolve into a puddle of tears.
Later that evening Trish called and invited me over for brunch the next day.
Chapter 28
“Hello,” Trish said, opening her door. “Please come in.”
I carried Natalie into the house and she squirmed to get down. I set her on the floor as Trish and I sat in the living room, and she immediately began crawling across the carpet.
“She’s going to be walking before you know it,” Trish said.
“I know. Then it will be even harder to keep up with her.”
“She’s at a fun age, but a busy age.”
“That’s for sure.”
Trish turned her attention from Natalie and over to me. “How is the move going? I understand Marcus is helping with some projects?”
“Yes. He’s been great. We finished painting all the rooms yesterday, and tomorrow I’m having new carpet put in.” I smiled. “I’m hoping to start moving my stuff in on Tuesday.”
“It’s very exciting to buy your first place. I remember when Jeff and I bought our first house. It needed some work too, but once we’d gotten it to where we wanted it, we really enjoyed it.”
I nodded. A short time later we went into the dining room.
“Is Jeff going to join us?” I asked.
“No. He won’t be home until tomorrow, so it’s just us.”
“Okay.”
I held Natalie on my lap as we ate and chatted companionably. Toward the end of the meal, she smiled and said, “I wanted to talk to you about something, Lily. Something a little sensitive.”
I set my fork down and focused on her. “Okay.”
“Has Marcus ever talked to you about Chelsea?”
I shook my head as my stomach began to churn. “No.”
“Hmm. Well, as I’ve told you, they’ve been dating, but lately they’ve been having some . . . well, some issues.”
I felt really uncomfortable with her telling me this, and I had no idea why she was doing it. “I’m not sure . . .” I began.
“No, you need to know this,” Trish said, cutting me off. “It concerns you.”
My forehead furrowed in puzzlement. “Okay.”
“One of their issues seems to be the time Marcus is spending with you, Lily. Helping you, as it were.”
The way she said it made it sound like she thought there was more to our relationship than friendship. “What are you saying?”
“Well, Chelsea is beginning to think that Marcus is cheating on her. With you.”
My laugh came out loudly and unexpectedly.
“You find this funny?” Trish said.
I shook my head and covered my mouth with my hand. “No. It’s just that she is so far from the truth, that it’s . . . well, it’s laughable.”
Trish seemed to relax. “Oh.”
“I’m still not sure why you’re telling me this. Isn’t this something they should be working out between themselves?”
“Of course, but if I can be completely frank with you, I told you because I’m . . .” She looked away from me with an expression of discomfort, then met my gaze. “I suppose I’m asking you to discourage Marcus from spending so much time with you.”
What? I wanted to shout. “But he’s going to help me with some projects on my house.”
“Isn’t there someone else who could help? What about that man you told me you met on the cruise? Cameron, I believe you said.”
I shook my head. This is unbelievable. “I’m not seeing him anymore.”
Trish’s eyebrows flew up. “Oh.” Her expression smoothed out. “I didn’t know that.”
How could you? I wanted to ask.
“When did this happen, if I may ask?” she said.
“Just a few days ago.”
“Does Marcus know?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Perhaps you should keep it that way.”
What an odd request. “Why?”
She smiled tightly. “I just don’t want to confuse matters.”
I had no idea what matters she was talking about.
“Will you do that for me, Lily?”
“I can’t promise that he won’t find out.”
“Of course not. But if you don’t tell him, I don’t know how he would find out.”
Something about her request felt wrong, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Was it because she was asking me to lie to Marcus by omission? But why would she think he’d even care? We were just friends. Why would my relationship with Cameron—or lack thereof—matter to Marcus? Did she think if Chelsea found out, that she would trust Marcus with me even less? If Chelsea knew, would she forbid Marcus from helping me? What would I do then?
“Lily?” Trish pressed.
Reluctantly, I nodded. “I suppose.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
As Natalie and I walked home, I wondered how much of Trish I’d see in the future. Once I no longer lived next door, would she invite me over any more? And did I want to go over if she did? It seemed every time I went, she had some sort of bombshell to drop on me.
On Monday morning Natalie and I went to our new place to wait for the carpet installers. Once they’d arrived, I let them in, excited to see how the place would look after they’d finished. While they worked, I left Natalie in her car seat, which I’d set on the kitchen counter, and scrubbed the kitchen floor. Then I let her crawl around while I scoured out the kitchen cabinets and applied shelf paper. The seller had left the refrigerator, and of course the stove, and I cleaned those as well.
After several hours the carpet had been installed, and as I carried Natalie from room to room, looking at each space, I smiled, thrilled with how my new place was shaping up.
“I think we’re ready to move in,” I said as we stopped in her room. I let her crawl on the new carpet as I scrubbed the bathrooms, then I took her home.
On Tuesday I spent the morning taking loads of boxes from the old place to the new one, and putting things away as I went. I’d brought Greta over and she was loving exploring her new backyard. As she whined at the sliding glass door to be let in, I realized I’d need to put in a doggie door soon.
By that night, when Marcus and Jeff came to move the big things, I was getting tired of the whole moving experience. Marcus had borrowed a truck from a friend and it didn’t take long to move everything over to the new place—one advantage of not having much stuff. At the new place, I directed them where to put each piece of furniture, and before long everything had been moved over.
“I think that’s it,” Marcus said.
“Yes. Thank you both so much. I couldn’t have done it alone.”
“I’m happy to help,” Jeff said.
“We both are, Lily,” Marcus said, smiling. “I’ll come over tomorrow after work and we can start planning the rest of our remodel strategy.”
“Sounds great.” I wondered how much I would see him once we’d finished all the work we were going to do, but decided not to think about that just then.
After they left, I put sheets in Natalie’s crib, as well as my bed, and then fed Natalie and put her down. I spent the rest of the evening getting things organized and by the time I fell in to bed, I felt really good about all I had gotten done.
The next day I cleaned the old place, then called Mary and let her know I was out.
“Thank you, Lily. You were a great tenant. I’m sorry I had to do this to you.”
“It actually worked out fine. I bought a place of my own and I’m loving it already.”
�
�Well, I’m glad to hear that.” She paused. “You take care now.”
“Thanks, Mary. I really enjoyed living here.”
That evening Marcus came by and brought some fast food he’d picked up on his way over. “I hope you haven’t eaten yet.” He set the bags on the kitchen table, then picked Natalie up from the floor, where she’d been crawling around.
“I haven’t. Thanks for bringing this.” I smiled as I watched him interact with my daughter, then remembered Trish’s request that I not tell him that I was no longer seeing Cameron, and my smile turned into a frown. When Marcus turned towards me, I put the smile back in place. “I’ll grab some plates.” I took plates out of the cupboard, then set them on the table, and Marcus joined me at the table.
“The new carpet really makes a difference,” he said, balancing Natalie on his lap as he ate.
“I know. And I love the colors on the walls. It’s already starting to feel like home.”
“Good. Now we just need to rip up the vinyl in the kitchen and bathrooms and lay the tile.”
“Yes,” I said. “And put up the backsplash in the kitchen.” I glanced toward the cupboards. “One day I’ll update the cabinets and counter tops, but that can wait.”
“So, when do you want to start on the floors?”
“I’m ready when you are.”
He grinned. “Let’s start tomorrow night.”
My eyes widened. “Okay.”
He laughed. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, but I’m just a little scared about what’s involved. Painting the walls is one thing, but ripping out old floors and putting in new is another. It’s not like carpet. Right?”
“You’re right, but it won’t be hard.”
Greta barked at the back door to be let in. I glanced toward her, then looked at Marcus. “That reminds me, can you help me put in a dog door for Greta?”
“Sure.”
I smiled, then walked to the sliding glass door and let her in. She raced over to the table, eager to be with us. Marcus scratched her head with his free hand, Natalie held securely on his lap with his other.
Lily's Story: The Complete Saga Page 67