“What if the solution is that you don’t have another baby?”
Tears sprang to her eyes and she sucked in a breath, willing them not to fall. She had cried enough already.
Dr. Bryson handed her a tissue. “It’s okay to cry.”
She shook her head. “That’s all I’ve done for so long. I don’t want to cry anymore. And I don’t know if I’m ready to give up on my dream of having more kids.”
“That’s fair. But I think it’s important to look at all paths your life could take, those things you have power to influence, and those things that are out of your control. It’s how we respond to the events we can’t control that’s important. I want to help you with that.”
“I’d like that.” She couldn’t imagine her life without more kids in it, but she wanted her marriage and her family back and she wasn’t sure if both of those things were possible.
She walked out of the office with an appointment card tucked in her purse and her heart lighter than when she had walked in. She didn’t know how Dr. Bryson had done it, but just discussing what had been going on in her life had helped. Maybe if she had been talking about these things with Justin in the first place, they wouldn’t have ended up where they were now.
Chapter Seventeen
Maddie whipped into the parking lot. She hated being late, but knowing she was seeing Justin today, she’d agonized over her outfit for a long time before she settled on one.
“Mommy, can we get out?”
“Oh yeah, honey. You can run over to the swings. Just stay where I can see you.” She opened Aiden’s door and he had his buckles undone and was clamoring out of the car before she could reach in to help.
She grabbed her bag containing the event plans and shut the door Aiden had left ajar as he rushed out of the car.
Aiden was growing up fast. Way too fast for her liking. She had assumed that by the time he reached this age that he would have one or maybe even two siblings to play with.
The thought had her tearing up but she shoved them down. The one thing she was learning about herself was it did no good to cry over something she couldn’t change. It was up to her to make the best life she could with what she had—a wonderful son who was full of energy and a sexy husband. Although she didn’t really have the husband right now.
Speaking of which…
“Hi, Daddy!” Aiden waved at Justin but wasn’t deterred on his path to the swings. Justin ruffled his son’s hair on the way by and chuckled at his endless energy.
She leaned back on the car and watched his muscles stretch the denim encasing his legs as he stalked toward her. His gaze stayed locked on her, never wavering as he approached. He stepped up, so close that he crowded her against the car.
She tilted her chin up.
“Hey.” His smooth voice washed over her and shivers tickled up her spine. Justin could always turn her on with just a word, a look, or a quirk of his eyebrows.
She opened her mouth to respond, but her words were swallowed by his kiss. She snaked her arms around his neck and linked her fingers behind him, pulling him tighter against her. God, it was like they were kids again. She hadn’t been this out of control, every nerve ending on edge, in a long time. This was what had been missing from their relationship—the passion, the urgency.
She broke the kiss. “Aiden?”
He brushed his lips across hers again. “With Izzy and Hayley.”
Maddie peered around Justin’s shoulder, and sure enough, Izzy was pushing Hayley and Aiden on the swings.
“She promised to keep them occupied so we could have a few minutes alone.”
Maddie would have to thank Izzy later, but she couldn’t focus on anything but Justin as he took her in another kiss and his tongue swept into her mouth.
A second, a minute, an hour later, she wasn’t sure, Justin finally lifted his head. His eyes were hooded, a heated gaze staring down at her. “We have to stop. This isn’t why I asked to meet here today.”
“You don’t hear me complaining, but I don’t think the other people came for a show.”
“Yeah.” He sucked in a deep breath and threaded his fingers through hers as they headed up the hill together.
They crested the hill and Maddie approached Justin’s sister. “Hey, Izzy. How’s it going?”
A smile lifted the corners of Izzy’s mouth. “Good. You look great, Maddie.”
She chuckled. “Thanks, I think.”
Izzy slapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay. I know how I was before. I am feeling better.”
“I’m so happy to hear that.”
“Hey, Aunt Maddie.” Hayley waved from the top of the jungle gym. Her sweet voice made Maddie’s heart ache.
Maddie and Izzy stood side by side a minute, watching their kids bounce on the wavy bridge part of the play set. “Thanks so much for keeping an eye on Aiden so Justin and I can talk through some details of the event.”
“It’s no problem. I love coming out and playing with Hayley. I can’t imagine missing out on all of this if I were still dancing in New York.”
For as long as Maddie had known Izzy, dance had been everything to her. Until she’d come home almost two years ago with an injury that had sidelined her career. They all thought she’d returned to New York for good last fall when she’d been presented with a new opportunity at her dance company. But Izzy had performed in one show and then come back home. “How did you do that? Decide that you weren’t going to fulfill your dream anymore?”
Izzy eyed her for a moment. Everyone in Justin’s family knew about their struggles. “It isn’t that I don’t have my dream anymore. My dreams changed. For a long time, dancing was all that I wanted to do. But I know now that dreams grow and transform. I’m still able to dance. I’m just not doing it on the stage anymore. And this way I get to have Tanner and Hayley, too. Oh, no, hold on—”
Izzy rushed over to grab Hayley before she flipped backward off the top of the ladder. That left Maddie alone to think about what Izzy had said. Her words made a lot of sense. Was that what Maddie needed to do? Change her dream? Was there a way to achieve what she wanted if she never got pregnant? She knew for sure that whatever her future looked like, she wanted Justin in it.
Justin’s warmth surrounded her as he stepped up beside her. She’d always been able to sense when he was around, but that hadn’t been happening recently, when she was distracted with her charts and research. But now that she’d had some time to clear her head and focus on what was important, her awareness of Justin had come roaring back. It was probably more the fact that the mere thought of him had her clenching her thighs together. He had that effect on her.
“Are you ready to get started?”
Oh right, they’d come to talk about the festival. “Yeah.”
Justin yelled over at Izzy and the kids. “You guys good up here for a little bit?”
Izzy waved but didn’t take her eyes off Hayley and Aiden. “Take your time.”
Justin and Izzy headed down the hill. When they reached the picnic pavilion, Maddie pulled some sketches and layouts out of her bag. She sat at a table, and rather than sitting across from her, Justin climbed onto the bench beside her, his thigh pressed against hers.
She laughed and scooched away. He just slid closer. She nudged him with her shoulder. “Justin, we have to work.”
“I can work just fine sitting beside my wife.”
“Are you going to behave?”
He slapped his hand across his chest and his mouth opened into an O. “Me? Misbehave?” He leaned closer. “I make no guarantees. It’s hard sitting beside you and not thinking about seeing you naked.”
Heat flooded her cheeks and a bloom of arousal grew in her gut.
She spread the papers in front of the two of them. Maybe that would distract her from the sexy man beside her. “I was thinking that we’d set up the tents along the trees right beside this pavilion.”
Justin finally turned
his attention to the plans. He listened intently as she explained her ideas and gave some input on how a few activities could be adjusted to better accommodate the families or the store. At the end of a productive session, the event logistics were formalized and a promotional plan was put into place.
As they talked through the event, her confidence grew. She had been nervous when Justin had first suggested she take this one. That they work it together. It had been a long time and she wasn’t sure she had it in her anymore. But as soon as she put pen to paper, the ideas flowed and the creativity she’d fostered for so long returned. And it felt good. She loved being a mother and raising Aiden, but it was hard to find self-fulfillment and self-identity without having something just for herself. She was determined to find a way to keep that going after this event was over.
“Hey, guys.” Izzy jogged down the hill, a child holding either hand. “You about done? I need to get Hayley home and head over to the studio.”
Maddie stood and hugged her sister-in-law. “We’re done. Thanks so much for helping today. Please let me know when I can return the favor.”
“I will definitely take you up on that because this girl is exhausting.” Izzy wrapped her arm around Hayley’s shoulder and mussed her step-daughter’s hair. Izzy was definitely embracing her new dream, her new life. Could Maddie do the same?
Justin scooped Aiden up and flung him over his shoulders. “Hey, buddy. You ready to go?”
Justin stayed close to her as they walked back to the parking lot. He packed Aiden into the car and shut the door. “Thanks for everything, Maddie. You looked like you were having fun yourself today.”
“I forgot how much I enjoyed being creative. Thank you for the opportunity you gave me.”
“I didn’t give you anything. You are more than qualified and your plans today just proved that.” He lowered his head and kissed her. Before she had the chance to pull him to her, Aiden knocked on the window.
She chuckled. “I guess that’s our cue.”
Justin stretched, crowding against her as he grabbed the door handle. He held the door while she sat and then leaned into the car. “Behave for Mommy, all right, buddy?”
“I will, Daddy. I love you.”
Maddie’s heart lurched. How much longer would her son have to say goodbye to his father?
Justin must have noticed her distress. He lowered his head, hovering next to her ear. “It’ll be all right, Maddie. I promise.”
She only hoped it was that simple.
Chapter Eighteen
Justin couldn’t get Maddie off his mind. He’d been zoning out at practice, wondering about what Maddie was doing instead of focusing on the players. When he tried to settle down at the cottage, instead of relaxing, he paced like a caged lion.
That was how he found his car steering itself back to the home he shared with Maddie on its own and his feet planted on his own front porch later that night. It was late enough that Aiden should be in bed. Not that he didn’t want to see his son but focusing on Aiden and potential future children had been part of their relationship’s downfall. Right now, he wanted his attention solely on his wife.
She didn’t answer his soft knock. She must be in their bedroom on the back side of the house. That gave him an idea.
He gathered a few pebbles from the curb and hiked around. Once he reached their window, he lobbed a small pebble at the glass. The telltale plink of the rock hitting the glass echoed in the night. He threw another, a little harder this time. And another.
Finally, the curtains fluttered and Maddie appeared. She held her hand over her eyes and peered into the backyard, her expression relaxing when she spotted him. He smiled and raised his hand in a wave.
She fumbled with the window for a minute and then raised the glass and leaned out. “What are you doing?”
“You didn’t answer the door. I didn’t want to wake Aiden up.”
“I was taking a bath.”
Those few words hit him in the gut. He imagined her naked body sinking into the warm water, the bubbles not quite hiding her breasts. Maybe she’d run her hands over her nipples, teasing them to stiff peaks before she slid lower. Her hair would have been tied up, leaving her long neck exposed, just begging for him to kiss her.
“Were you going to stand out there all night staring at me or did you want to come in?” There may have been a question in her voice but her heated gaze answered for him.
He crossed the short distance to her window and stepped up below her. “I wasn’t staring at you. I was imagining you in the bath and wishing I had come by thirty minutes earlier so I could have been in there with you.”
He was rewarded with pink creeping up her cheeks. But she didn’t look away. Her gaze stayed locked on his, and she tilted her head toward the front door. “Come on in.”
He hustled around the house and practically leapt up the stairs to the porch. He debated knocking again but, dammit, this was his house, too. She had invited him in. For the first time in way too long, he grabbed the door handle and walked into his house.
A minute later, Maddie rushed into the living room from the hall, a thin T-shirt barely hiding her body from him. It certainly did nothing to mask the peaks of her nipples. He closed and locked the door behind him. He then strode across the room with one goal in mind—making love with Maddie. It had been long enough.
He wasted no time pulling her into his arms. She came easily, her mouth begging to be kissed. But that could wait. That long neck, still revealed by her pinned up hair, hadn’t had nearly enough attention recently. He placed his lips on the bare skin just between her neck and shoulder, a spot that he knew drove her wild, and sucked.
She wriggled, trying to get away and press her body more firmly into him at the same time. Yep, that spot still worked. He kissed and licked and nipped his way to her ear. She threw her head back. Damn, if anything she was sexier now than she had been the day he met her. While she lamented the fact that her curves were more pronounced, he loved being able to dig his fingers into her hips or her ass and hold on. And breasts that had fit easily in his palms now spilled out. He wasn’t complaining.
Speaking of which, he trailed his hand up her belly, tickling the underside of her breast. He felt the heat of her skin through her shirt. He slid his palm up, cupping her and thumbing her nipple.
She gasped and pressed her core into him.
Heat pooled deep in his gut and spread out until his entire body was one raw nerve ending. They needed to get horizontal… and soon. He was done analyzing things to death. He and Maddie had talked about a lot of their issues. Were there still things to work out? Absolutely. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make love with his wife.
He broke the kiss and whispered against her mouth. “Maddie.”
“Bedroom. Now.”
He walked her backward, his hands never leaving her curves on the way to the bedroom. Their bedroom. He’d been in here since he’d left… but not with Maddie. Not when he was about to make love with her. He tried to stop his mind from assigning more significance to this than there was, but he failed. All he wanted was to mend their relationship and for Maddie to be the happy, vivacious woman that he’d married.
But he wasn’t naïve. They had both changed in the ensuing years, but he wanted to make sure that not only was she happier, but they were stronger as a couple before he considered moving back home.
But being here, in their bedroom with her, was a huge step in the right direction.
The lamps had been turned off and candles had been scattered around the room, bathing the area in dim, romantic light.
“Why, Madeline, did you aim to seduce me?”
She waggled her eyebrows and took a seductive step toward the bed. “I don’t know, Mr. Harper. Maybe?”
Who knew that a ratty old T-shirt could be so sexy? Well, Maddie was sexy in anything that she wore. And then she clutched the bottom of the hem with her fingers and inched the shirt up. Holy hell! She wasn’t wearing any panties. T
hat thin shirt was the only thing hiding her beautiful body. Well, that just wouldn’t do.
He stalked across the room with Maddie in his sights, only stopping when he had backed her against the mattress. He lowered his head so his mouth hovered right over her ear. “Are you naked under this shirt?”
“I guess you’ll have to find out for yourself.”
Damn. He didn’t think he could get any harder until those words slammed into him like a ton of bricks. He pressed his groin against her. If she was going to tease him like that, she was damn sure gonna see what she did to him.
She gasped and her eyes grew dark.
He rested his hand on her hips and took her mouth with a punishing kiss. She had him so wound up right now. It was an all-out assault on her mouth, his tongue thrusting in and circling around, the flavor of peppermint filling his senses. He lifted her and practically threw her onto the mattress before toeing off his shoes. Her arms stretched out, calling to him, but he had other ideas.
He took one of her long, elegant feet in his hands, digging his thumb deep into the ball.
She groaned and threw her head back. “God, that feels so good.”
He smiled and moved to the other foot, affording it the same treatment before running his fingers up the back of her calves. He massaged both of them at once, his fingers digging into her muscles even further with each groan drawn from her lips.
Her head was thrown back on the bed, her eyes closed, and her lips parted just slightly. As tempting as it would be to lose himself in her kisses, he was on a mission. He leaned down, bent her knee, and whispered his lips over the back of that knee, that sensitive skin that he knew drove her wild.
She wriggled. Yep, still sensitive. He kissed his way up her inner thigh, widening her legs gently with his fingers. When he reached the bottom of her T-shirt, he nudged it up. The sight of her trimmed sex had him wanting to drop his jeans and plunge into her. But not yet. He leaned forward, breathing in the scent of her fruity body wash and the musky smell of her arousal.
Chasing Hope: A Small Town Second Chance Romance (Harper Family Series Book 2) Page 13