by Jay Foolatum
PELLAM: Yeah, of course! -- All the accessories!
ARFUR: (panicky) Nuh! not bull-bars. -- There's no need for 'em! (Pellam walks off, puzzled.)
EXT. IRE VILLAGE -- DAY
Pellam is walking around the housing estate. He looks around him, but does not seem to know what he is looking for.
INT. MERCEDES'S APARTMENT -- DAY
Mercedes Tungsten receives a telephone call from her friend Nicole, who alerts her to Pellam's presence.
MERCEDES: Hello? (beat) Oh, hi, Nic. (beat) Is he? -- What, now? (beat) Ok, thanks! Bye, Nic. (Mercedes ends her call, and runs to the window.)
INTERCUT TO PELLAM: HE IS PASSING MERCEDES' APARTMENT.
INTERCUT TO MERCEDES.
Mercedes hangs out of her window and weakly wolf-whistles to draw Pellam's attention.
INTERCUT TO PELLAM.
Pellam looks around.
INTERCUT TO MERCEDES.
She waves, frantically.
INTERCUT TO PELLAM.
He sees her not, and walks on.
PELLAM: (thinking) I thought I heard a faint whistle then!
INT. 54 IRE HOUSE -- DAY
Squeaker is in a state of despair, and Ahab tries to console him.
AHAB: Don't worry, boy! It might come to nothink!
SQUEAKER: It will! It will, this time! He's learnt where she lives.
AHAB: But 'oo told yer so, boy? 'Oo told yer so?
SQUEAKER: Tabby. Tabby. -- That's who! -- and she'll know! (Ahab looks grave.)
AHAB: You tried everythink boy, to put 'er off? You sure you tried everythink?
SQUEAKER: (snaps) Yes! I've tried everythink! -- I've told Tabby all you told me to say, and she's passed it on to her.
AHAB: About 'is dick, and 'e's car not being any good?
SQUEAKER: (despairingly) Yes! Yes! we've tried all that!
AHAB: (thoughtful) Well, don't worry, boy! Don't worry! I'll think of somethink!
SQUEAKER: (angry) Like what? Like what? Like what are you gonna think of? -- You're a useless old cunt!
With that, Squeaker ups and tearfully quits the room, leaving Ahab looking troubled.
AHAB: (angry) The fucking cunt!
At that moment, Bertha enters the room.
BERTHA: What? What've I done now?
AHAB: (annoyed) What?... Oh, not you! (beat) I'd have said you 'fucking fat cunt', if I meant you! (Bertha is shocked at the insult.) And what ain't yer done wrong anyway! -- Now get out of my sight! (On that note, Bertha, distressed, swings around and hastily departs the room. -- We see Ahab's scowling, growling, wrinkled face to end the scene.)
INT. PUBLIC HOUSE -- NIGHT
Mercedes, Nicole, Leah and Tabitha are all imbibing. There's a boxing machine in the public house.
MERCEDES: I'm bored! Does anyone want to play on that thing? (No one is enthusiastic.)
TABITHA: I don't know why you don't give Willy a try?
NICOLE: 'Cause he's gross? 'Cause he's a fat bastard? 'Cause he's ugly. 'Cause he's a slimeball? 'Cause he's an areshole? What's your reason, Merc?
MERCEDES: (laughing) All those, and a couple more!
TABITHA: I mean, what have you got to lose? -- He's popular... No one likes Pellam!
NICOLE: He's popular with his cronies.
TABITHA: He's popular with everyone around here!
NICOLE: Exactly!
At that moment, the group are joined by CLIVE and Jeremiah, and two other girls whom they know. -- All greet each other. Although the men are not happy to see Tabitha.
TABITHA: (continuing) I mean, he's got that car. His granddad gives him all that money to spend. -- (amused) He's got all that experience. All the girls love him!
CLIVE: He's only got his experience from nicking Pel's birds. He'd still be a virgin if it weren't for you lot! (There is amusement amongst some of the group.)
Once the men have ordered, they decide to have a go on the boxing machine. -- Mercedes has a go too! and there is general amusement; not so much at hers' or the other girl's weak scores, but at Mercedes' jogging breasts as she takes her hit at the machine. -- With disdain, Tabitha opts not to partake, and leaves the public house.
I/E. SQUEAKER'S CAR -- NIGHT
Squeaker's car pulls up, speedily and recklessly, outside the public house. Once more, Gormley drives, whilst Squeaker is in the passenger seat. They move to get out of the car.
GORMLEY: Tabs said she's playing darts in here.
SQUEAKER: Darts? When's she ever play darts?
GORMLEY: Well, that's what she said.
INT. PUBLIC HOUSE -- NIGHT
With desperate looks, the two men enter the public house. -- At another end, Mercedes, Nicole, Leah, and one or two others, are still on the boxing machine, with their friends. -- The men watch on. -- Squeaker and Gormley set themselves down, nearby, without having a drink. They are mesmerized by the site. Clive eyes the men, disdainfully. -- When Mercedes has finished her turn, Squeaker gets up and approaches her.
SQUEAKER: (imploringly) Come on, Merc, give us a chance!
Nicole steps in.
NICOLE: She's not interested!
GORMLEY: Go on, Merc, you won't regret it!
NICOLE: I said she's not interested!
GORMLEY: Mind yer own business! It's got nothing to do with you!
NICOLE: She's saving herself for Pellam. She's not interested in you! (Mercedes agrees, and relishes the opportunity to wind-up the wretched pair.)
MERCEDES: I only want Pellam. You'll have to dream on!
Squeaker, angered, moves to grab Mercedes, and Clive steps in between them.
CLIVE: You heard her! Fuck off! and find someone of your own.
Now Gormley steps in.
GORMLEY: You can't talk to 'im like that! D'you know 'oo 'e is? (beat) 'E's king o' the gingers! (This is greeted by an uproar of laughter, that fills the whole pub.)
Squeaker is embarrassed at his friend's clumsy approbations. -- Gormley is incensed, and makes a lunge at Clive. -- With one blow, Clive knocks him unconscious; -- Gormley's lanky limbs flying all over the place! -- Squeaker makes his way hastily out of the building. An embarrassed Gormley picks himself up and follows him. As he leaves, he turns, for a passing shot.
GORMLEY: You ain't ‘eard the last of this! ‘Is granddad ain't gonna be ‘appy! (This just adds to the ridicule of the hopeless pair, and there is mumblings along the lines of 'What's the silly old cunt going to do about it?')
INT. 54 FAIRLEIGH ROAD/LOUNGE -- NIGHT
Ahab, Bertha and Squeaker are relaxing on the sofa. Ahab addresses his grandson.
AHAB: Where's yer brother tonight, boy? Out with 'is birds? (Squeaker lives up to his nickname, by squeaking a tear-stifled reply.) -- They got places of their own or somethink? 'E never seems to take 'em back to the flat now. (Ahab's referring to the apartment above their car pitch.)
SQUEAKER: (sulky) Nanette thought she heard somethink moving in the wardrobe. (Ahab looks embarrassed.)
BERTHA: In the wardrobe! Is she mad?
AHAB: Must be, mum! -- eh? Must be! (beat) (joking) It must be Wally making the earth move, -- eh, Wills? (Another pitiful squeak from Squeaker.) Your birds -- when yer get some -- won't be frightened of things 'idden in a wardrobe... will they boy?
SQUEAKER: Nuh.
BERTHA: (cackling) Well, 'e won't make the earth move! will 'e. 'E don't ever get the chance!
AHAB: That's why I'm setting 'im up with that freak's birds. (beat) Besides, you've 'ad some doggy ol' ones, ain't yer, Wills! Just no nice looking ones... Anyways, boy, I've been meaning to speak with yer about that. (beat) That lad... What's 'is name: Mick, is it? -- One of them 'oo came down to 'elp the freak...
SQUEAKER: (sneering) Malcolm.
AHAB: That's it; skinny lad.
SQUEAKER: Yeah. Lanky cunt.
AHAB: (laughing) Yeah. (beat) Well, 'e still owes me a bit of dosh, don't 'e! -- that you lent 'im once?
SQUEAKER: He owes everyone!
BERTHA: (cackling) Not
you! You ain't got any money. -- Yer don't work!
AHAB: (annoyed by the interruption) 'E don't need money, mum! I see 'e don't want for anythink.
BERTHA: Can't get 'im that bird, though, can yer! -- Marian, is it?
AHAB: (annoyed) That's what I was coming to, -- if you'd only keep quiet for a second. (beat) I was thinking: We could put that to our advantage: that money that lad owes. (beat) I was thinking: They should trust 'im, shouldn't they? -- Those birds.
SQUEAKER: Yeah. Why? What of it?
INT. MERCEDES' APARTMENT -- DAY
Lucretia receives a telephone call.
MERCEDES: Hello. (beat) Oh, high, Tab. (beat) (excited) Really? -- How did that come about? (beat) Definitely! (beat) Tonight! -- That's soon!... Ok! (Mercedes puts her telephone down, and smiles to herself, happily.) After a while, she gets up and gets herself ready to go out.
INT. BLOCK OF FLATS -- NIGHT
Mercedes is done up nice, and standing outside a flat. It is the bedsit of Malcolm Cassidy. Nicole and Leah are with her. -- Mercedes knocks on the door. -- Tabitha Thoms opens the door. She looks grave. Mercedes notices her expression.
MERCEDES: Hi... What's up?
TABITHA: Nothing... Come in, girls.
They enter the flat.
INT. CASSIDY'S BEDSIT -- NIGHT
As well as our three girls, there are one or two others, of mixed company, in there -- Malcolm Cassidy amongst them -- and plenty of food and drink. Leah looks around.
LEAH: It's a good spread. (She tucks in.)
MERCEDES: (joking) I thought Army Of Lovers would be playing?
TABITHA: Ah... It's that that I want to talk to you about!
MERCEDES: You don't have to play that music. He likes lots of others.
TABITHA: No. It's not the music.
NICOLE: He's not coming, is he?
TABITHA: No.
MERCEDES: Why?
TABITHA: Because he doesn't like you as much as we first thought. -- As much as you -- all -- first thought, I mean! I knew all along he wasn't interested. -- But that's not all! He said some pretty insulting things. (The group are listening.)
TABITHA: And not just about you either. About your mum too. (beat) Or, rather, his mother did!
MERCEDES: What sort of things? What did he say? -- Or she say?
TABITHA: She said your mum was a slut when she was younger. (looks up to Mercedes for her response) And says you'll be the same. (beat) I suppose that's why he doesn't want anything to do with you: -- because his mummy won't let him!
NICOLE: (incredulous) How do you know this?
TABITHA: Will's got a guy on the inside. He's friendly with Pellam's brother.
Mercedes is not listening, and is becoming tearful.
MERCEDES: Fuck him then! -- Suits me!
Although Mercedes was not that interested in Pellam, she is disappointed that she had put in so much effort, and for so long. She was also secretly flattered by his supposed intentions. She breaks down in tears, whilst the other girls attempt to console her.
TABITHA: (faux sympathetic) I told you he wasn't worth bothering with! You're much too good for him anyway! All that time you've wasted.
At that moment, Cassidy comes forward, as if to console Mercedes too. But, instead, he proceeds to grope her, roughly. The girls he was with make a pretence of objecting, whilst the men cheer him on, and join in. This causes a panic amongst the girls. Tabitha knows it is a set-up, but plays along.
TABITHA: (panicky) I'll call for help! I'll call Wills. He'll have some influence with these arseholes. I'll get him to get us out of here.
Tabitha goes off to use her mobile telephone in relative quiet.
EXT. IRE VILLAGE -- NIGHT
Squeaker's car pulls up, near the block. Again, it is driven by Gormley, with Squeaker in the passenger seat, and Shorters in the back. All get out and speed towards Cassidy's flat.
INT. CASSIDY'S BEDSIT - NIGHT
Tabitha, knowing of Squeakers arrival, opens the door to him and his entourage, and they enter. At that moment, the throng ceases, but the girls are already frightened, and panic further on seeing the Ginge-mates arrive. The Ginge-mates immediately set out to usher the
girls outside and towards their car. The girls object to the forthright assistance of their enemies, whilst Cassidy's entourage laugh on, -- the girls trying to subdue their
amusement a little. Somehow, in the confusion, and to the chagrin of their pursuers, the girls squeeze by, and go to make their escape, -- the false Tabitha amongst them. As a last act of desperation, Gormley sticks out a foot, and trips Mercedes. She falls heavily to the ground. Tabitha, and one of the girls from the party, help Mercedes up. -- She is in quite a bad way. Tabitha looks away, trying to hide her amusement.
MERCEDES: (sobbing) I can't take anymore of this! I'm sick of it! (Tabitha and the other girl console her, whilst Mercedes' friends make their escape.)
NICOLE: (calling back) Come on, Merc!
The girls see that all is lost, as the Ginge-mates close in.
NICOLE: We'll go and get the boys! (beat) No! the police. -- We'll get the police, Merc!
SQUEAKER: (addressing Mercedes) Come on! I'll get you home.
TABITHA: Go with him, Merc. He'll take you home, safely. I'll make sure he behaves himself! -- I'll follow on in Shorty's car.
SHORTY: I ain't got me car. I came in--
GORMLEY: (nudging him) Shut up! (beat) We're have to go somewhere. The little grasses have gone for the police.
SQUEAKER: Better that than going for Clive, and that lot! The police won't mess with granddad.
GORMLEY: I don't know! I was fancying getting even with that fat cunt!
SHORTY: You've got no chance, mate!
GORMLEY: (annoyed) You still here! -- Get going!
TABITHA: Come on, Shorty! (Tabitha drags the thug away.)
SQUEAKER: We're take her to the pitch. (Gormley is happy about that.)
I/E. SQUEAKER'S CAR -- NIGHT
Mercedes is guided into the back seat of Squeaker's car; where Squeaker joins her. Gormley takes up his place in the drivers seat. -- Squeaker addresses Mercedes. She is terrified. All the while he cannot help but feast his eyes on her!
SQUEAKER: We told yer that freak weren't worth bothering with, didn't we!
GORMLEY: (under his breath) Will, yer not supposed to know! (He looks back, lustily at Mercedes.) It's lucky Squeak… Willy was there for you, Merc! (cringingly desperate) He's your knight in shining armour!
MERCEDES: It was terrifying! (Squeaker consoles her.)
GORMLEY: (cringeable) Maybe yous two should get it together. -- You owe Squeak... Wills
one now!
MERCEDES: I am grateful! But I did promise! (Both men are not happy to hear this!)
GORMLEY: (angry) But ‘e let yer down!
MERCEDES: Yeah, I know all that! but...
Realising they are not ever likely to talk her around, Squeaker hopes close physical contact will change Mercedes’ mind. At this, Mercedes starts to struggle.
GORMLEY: Look at it this way: either Wills takes yer, or we all do? -- Me, Shorty, -- all the boys. (Mercedes is frightened and unable to think straight.)
EXT. HUNTS’ CAR PITCH - NIGHT
They pull up outside the pitch. Squeaker has the key, and lets them onto the small forecourt. Shortly afterwards, Tabitha and Shorters pull up in Shorters' old jalopy.
GORMLEY: (sarcastic) It started then!
SHORTY: (indignant) It always starts!
TABITHA: It wasn't a good experience! (The other two men are amused)
GORMLEY: See, Merc, that's the sort of motor you'd 'ave to get used to if you was going out with Smallthorn.
SQUEAKER: (Continuing) So, Merc, what do you say?
TABITHA: (realising where things had progressed) I won't tell anyone, if you don't, Merc!
MERCEDES: (pointing to the rest) What about all this lot? (Squeaker and Gormley are happy to see that their victim is coming around!)