"I can't believe you have to go," Anna said, beginning to sob. "I'm gonna miss you so much."
We cried together, much the same as we'd been doing for the last four days. We were all holding onto each other, and I gave Laura a squeeze. "I'm seriously going," I said.
She wiped at her eyes. "You can't," she said. "I can't do that to you. I have nothing to give you. I have debts, and—"
"I can help you. I want to help you." I shook her arms and looked into her bloodshot eyes.
"Anna's doing the right thing," Laura said, begging me with her expression to stop making it so difficult. "She's staying here with her mom, and it's the right choice." She squeezed my arm. "I know you love me, Rae. There's not a doubt in my mind that you do. I love you too."
Anna continued to wipe at her eyes as I stared at Laura.
"Please don't ask me to leave you again," I said, crying. "Wherever you go, I want to go. I want to live where you live. I want to be a part of what family you have over there, and if that turns out to be nobody, then I'll just be with you." I squeezed her again. "Please understand how important it is for me to stay with you. I'm not letting you go alone."
I could tell by the way Laura stared at me that she finally understood I was serious.
"I don’t know when you have to leave, but I can take care of things here," Anna said, practically.
"Vinny's taking care of the car lot. He's helping with the car and house too."
"When were you thinking about leaving?" Anna asked.
"Thursday. I've been on the phone all morning. Joey helped me rent a truck. Vinny's gonna help me get my things into it and when I get to New York, Frankie will help me unload."
"When we get to New York," I said.
She let a hint of a smile touch her lips. "When we get to New York," she said softly.
I smiled even though it hurt my face. I knew it was the right decision. Every bone in my body was telling me to go with her.
***
It had been exactly a week since the accident, and the whole situation still seemed surreal. I wondered if I'd ever feel normal again, or if the shock of everything had somehow permanently altered me. It was Thursday when Laura and I took off, headed for New York in the mid-size U-Haul truck her brother, Joey, reserved. We resolved to take turns driving, but I took the first shift.
Anthony and I each had a car. I knew I couldn't sell them for what we owed on them in such short notice, but Vinny worked it out where the dealership bought them back before we left.
I had about ten boxes of personal belongings and just over a thousand dollars to my name. Anthony kept track of all the money, so I had no idea what we had until I went to the bank to withdraw it. He and I had been saving for a down payment on a house for the year we'd been married, and I was surprised to find that there was only a thousand dollars. I was convinced that I was making the right choice, though, and had to trust that everything would be okay.
I felt a little better about my financial prospects after Laura spoke with Frankie on the phone during that first day driving. It was on speakerphone so I could hear the whole conversation.
"Hey Frankie."
"Hey Lulu, where you at?"
"Don't call me that."
"Why not? I called you that since I can remember."
"That's a happy name, Frankie, and I'm not a happy woman."
He was silent, for a second, and when he continued, he sounded considerably less cheerful. "When are you ladies planning on rollin' into town?"
"Saturday night if all goes as planned. Joey said we can sleep in Jersey if we don't want to mess with traffic in the city, in which case it'll be Sunday."
"Let me know what you decide, and I'll send some boys to unload your things. I went by the apartment today. It's in good shape, but you should know that the second room is barely fit to be an office. I list it as a one bedroom. You could probably fit a single bed in there but not much else. I hope the girl isn't claustrophobic."
I glanced at Laura from across the truck and she gave me a regretful smile. I smiled back letting her know I'd be just fine with whatever accommodations were awaiting.
"The good news is, I think I got her a job lined up."
"How'd you do that?" she asked.
"You remember Big Willie Russo. His oldest boy has that camera place down on 53rd. It's right down the street from the apartment. Anyway, he does a lot of online business, and he's always looking for people in the shipping department."
"Have you already talked to him?" she asked.
"Yep," he said proudly. "I ran into him at the deli earlier and told him you were coming back to town and bringing your daughter-in-law. He said he'd email with instructions. She'll probably just be able to say Dominic sent her and they'll hand her a nametag. It won't be much, but it'll get her started and she can work her way up."
I glanced at Laura again, and we shared a little smile.
"We're gonna pay you back, Frankie," Laura said. "Rae's gonna help me, and we're gonna make good on what the boys borrowed."
"Just get here," he said. "It'll be fine." I could tell by his tone that he didn't believe in a million years that Laura would be able to keep that promise. If anything, he probably expected to spend money on us rather than get paid back. Well, we would just have to prove him wrong.
They said their goodbyes and she hung up with him a minute later. "It's good that Willie's boy wants to give you a job," was the first thing she said when she hung up the phone. "The Russo's are a good family. I knew about Dominic's camera business. I think it'll be a good place to start, like Frankie said."
Laura and I drove for three days straight. It was late Saturday when we got close, so we decided to stop in New Jersey for the night. Joey and his wife, Maggie, were kind hosts and made us feel welcome, but it was late when we got there, and we really didn't talk much before going to bed.
They only had one spare bedroom, so Laura and I shared the queen size bed. September was much cooler in New Jersey than it was in Arizona, and I slept like a rock under the thick comforter.
We got an early start the next morning. We ate a quick breakfast before getting in the truck to follow Joey and Maggie into the city.
There were two Italians in leather coats standing outside when we parked on the street in front of the apartment building.
"Lulu Milano, you look like a million bucks!" The bigger one yelled when we got out of the truck.
"Don't call her Lulu," the other one said.
The bigger one looked at him with a sarcastic smile. "Yeah, and I suppose you don't wanna be called Frankie either," he said nudging the smaller guy, who I now knew was Frankie.
"He's right. I don't wanna be called Lulu," Laura said. She offered a sad smile and reached out to give a sideways hug to the guy who'd said it. "It's a happy name, and that's a word that no longer applies to me."
"I'm sorry," the big one said.
"It's okay." She sighed and put a hand on my shoulder as I came to stand beside her. "I've got Rae to help me through."
Frankie came over and took us both into his arms at the same time, giving us a tight squeeze. My cheek pressed into the cold leather on his lapel. "You girls are gonna get through this," he said with conviction. "I'm sorry for your loss. We loved Gianni and the boys."
My eyes burned and I did my best to hold back the tears that threatened to come out at the mention of Anthony. I distracted myself by staring at the big guy's haircut. I stared at it thinking about how much product he must have to use to make it slick back like that. I never saw men in Arizona wear their hair like that, and I enjoyed the distraction of imagining him combing it in the mirror like the movie Grease.
Frankie greeted Joey and Maggie, who had just gotten out of their car as he released us from the hug. Then he turned to the big guy. "What time are the other two getting here?" he asked.
The guy shrugged and Frankie scowled as he stared down the street to see if they were coming. "I'm Rae," I said extending a hand toward
the big guy. Frankie and Laura both apologized at the same time for not introducing us.
"This is Little Mike," Frankie said, slapping Mike's shoulder. Mike shook my hand with a shy smile, and just as we finished our greeting, an old, brown, classic car in restored condition pulled up and two guys who were also very Italian, got out. They spoke to the driver for a second before he drove off, and then they turned to head toward us. Both of them were smiling.
I knew Anthony's family was Italian, but for some reason, it really didn't come across when they were in Arizona. Being here, seeing all these big, dark Italian guys with New York accents, leather coats, and pomade was not at all what I expected. I felt like I was in a scene from Goodfellas. I should have known to expect this with names like Vinny and Frankie, but the level of Italian-ness still came as a surprise.
Chapter 3
"Who ya got with you, Ms. Lu?"
"She ain't Lulu," Little Mike said.
"What took you boys so long?" Frankie said, changing the subject. They ignored him for a second, stopping in front of Laura to look her over. They both stood in front of her with sweet smiles like they didn’t know what to say.
"I can't believe you boys are so big," she said. She pointed at the younger one. "You were just a baby the last time I saw you. You probably don't even remember me." She looked at the older one, giving him a sad smile. "You used to play with Tony and Tommy all the time," she said. "I'm sure you remember."
He nodded and smiled. "It's good to see you. Mom cried when she found out you was movin' back home. She's real excited to see you. Dad wouldn't even let us tell her we was movin' you in, or she would be here right now."
Laura smiled. "Tell your mama I'm happy to see her. I'm happy to see you boys too. You went and became men while I was gone."
They both smiled, and she glanced at me. "This here's Rae. She belonged to my Tony and she's what's got me through all this."
She took a deep breath and I knew she was trying not to cry. I stuck my hand out toward the one closest to me.
"I'm Rae."
"Ben."
I shook his hand.
"William," the other one said, when I turned my attention to him.
They were both young, strapping men and all I could think was thank goodness we had help getting these boxes upstairs.
"There's a freight elevator down the hallway on the right," Frankie said, reading my mind. "We can all catch up over dinner sometime, but we should get movin'."
Ben and William both clapped at the same time, looking like a team getting ready to take the field. Thanks to this kind of enthusiasm (and Little Mike's brute strength) we had the truck emptied in no time. Laura stayed in the apartment the whole time, looking through it, imagining where we'd put our things. Maggie mostly stayed out of the way too. I made a few trips to the truck, but the guys kept saying for me to take it easy, so I finally listened and let them finish the job.
Frankie stayed in the apartment with Laura and I while the others got the remaining boxes. Frankie was the oldest in the bunch, and seemed to be in charge. Laura had never mentioned anything about them being mobsters or anything, and maybe it was racist of me to assume something like that just because they were Italian, but Frankie was the epitome of a mob boss—complete with snakeskin boots and gaudy gold jewelry. I liked him—liked the whole scene. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him interact with the other guys, and caught myself feeling thankful for the new beginning.
The place was furnished. It wasn't glamorous, but it was better than anything we could do for ourselves at this point. We sat at the small, vintage table in the dining area that connected to the kitchen.
"There's a few dishes in the cabinet. Pots and pans too. I had some food brought up since I thought you might not feel like shopping. There's a deli with groceries down the block. You'll remember it. We all hang out there still. I was thinking you could do about ten hours a week cleaning for the rent. Does that sound fair?"
"It's more than fair, Frankie, and you know it," Laura said with her head down. The others were out of the room at the moment, and she continued speaking, but stared down at the table, looking ashamed. "I'm sorry you're stuck helping me out again."
He reached over and put a hand on hers. "I'm glad to do it, Laura. Vivian is too. She's real excited you're back."
"I'm not the same person I used to be, Frankie. I'm never gonna be the person you guys remember."
"Sure you are," he said with a little smile. "Your still the same to me."
She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "The ten hours a week is more than fair for the place. I'll pick up more work, and with Rae at the camera store, we'll be just fine. We'll work out a payment plan for you as soon as we get on our feet."
"I know you will," said Frankie, "and I'm really not worried about it. We haven’t even taken care of the dealership and the house yet. Just get settled and we'll figure it all out." He patted her hand. "If you need anything, we're right down the street."
"It means a lot, Frankie."
"This one's marked for you, Rae. Where's your stuff going?" Ben asked.
"In the nook." I said. I stood so I could offer to help, but they wouldn't let me.
The guys were only there for a little while longer. I had a window in my nook that overlooked the street, and I watched as Joey took off in the truck with Maggie behind him in their car. The brown car pulled up again and William and Ben got inside. Frankie and Little Mike took off on foot down the sidewalk in what I assumed was the direction of Frankie's place.
I had given my email address to Frankie earlier, and I got a message from him that night. It included instructions for showing up to my first day at work at the camera store.
Dominic's assistant sent the message. She said I should go by the store from 2-4 on Thursday and ask to speak to Debbie in shipping and receiving. Debbie would help me work out a schedule and give me all the details for my new job. I liked my old job at the coffee shop, and I caught myself dreading the sound of shipping and receiving, but I had faith that I could work up to something better.
***
By the time I'd been on the job for three days, I'd already learned everything there is to know about opening a box with a cutter. Nic's Photo and Video was a much larger business than I expected. I assumed I'd get to know the guy Dominic who'd given me the job, but I was relatively sure he didn't even know I was there. The shipping and receiving area of the store was huge, but it was in the basement, and the receiving section, where I'd been put to work, was a much smaller secluded area near the back of the building.
I worked with three other people every shift, which was nothing compared to the twenty or so that worked in shipping at any given time. It was my job to deal with returned items. I had a little area where I inspected the item and made notes about its condition. It almost always had to be cleared by a tech who'd make sure it was fit to be resold, but I was the first step of the process.
Don't get the wrong idea about it being in the basement. It was, technically, but we had high ceilings with a row of windows at the top, and actually got a good bit of natural light down there. The receiving crew shared a common area, but each of us had our own little cubical as well. We were encouraged to decorate our space however we liked. It was the opposite of a sterile, office environment, which made the job better than I expected. Plus, I got along with my co-workers. Considering that I was dreading being locked away in a shipping and receiving dungeon somewhere, the job wasn't that bad.
Everyone I talked to seemed to love Dominic. They said he was an outstanding boss and that's why his business had taken off the way it had. His store was one of the biggest suppliers of photo and video equipment in the world. Apparently, if I had ordered a nice camera off the internet, (which I hadn't) I would have most likely gotten it from Nic's. Debbie told me that the first day I came when she couldn't believe I'd never heard of it.
I was standing on the far side of the loading bay during my lunch break when a man walked by. He
was tall with dark hair wearing jeans and a button-up shirt layered under a jacket. His clothes were stylish and I caught myself straightening just to avoid looking like a total slob next to him.
"Smoke break?" he asked coming to stand next to me.
"Lunch break."
"Did you know there's a park just up the street?"
"Yeah, but I don't mind it back here. It's usually quiet except for the ones who come out to smoke, and they stay over there by the door."
"How long have you been working here?" he asked.
I thought he might be a rep for one of the brands we sold. I could totally see him being a guy who travels around the city selling a product that everyone wants like Canon or Nikon.
"I just started," I said. "I'm working back here in receiving."
"Do you like it?"
I smiled and shrugged. "It's fine," I said. "I worried that I'd hate it, and I definitely don't."
"Would you rather work in another department?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine where I’m at right now. I don't have enough experience to work on the floor anyway. The only photography experience I have is using my camera phone," I said, laughing. "But I'm interested now that I have this job. I think I could get into it now that I'm here checking out all this cool gear. I sort of regret that it's taken me this long to take interest."
He smiled. "It's an amazing art form. You can tell stories with photographs. Do you have any good ones on your phone?" he asked.
The question surprised me, and my thoughts went to the camera roll on my phone. There were a ton of pictures of Anthony on there. The phone was in my bag, but I never even looked at it any more. I didn't see any point since I had the service turned off after Anthony's death.
"I'm in between phones right now, actually," I said shyly.
"What are you doing for pictures?"
"I guess I haven't taken many lately."
"That's a shame." He'd been standing, but now he sat next to me on the curb.
"You need a bench out here," he said.
Another Shot: A Modern-Day Ruth and Boaz Story Page 2