Reckless Abandon (Damaged #2)

by J. C. Hannigan

  "I don't know what you're talking about." Lindsay rolled her eyes. "I see some things never change though. You're still an asshole."

  "Yup," I snarled. "You'd probably do good to remember that."

  "Whatever," she said, shaking her head while she glared back at me. Her hands were clenched against her sides. "You'd probably do well to remember certain things too."

  Before I could ask her what that was supposed to mean, she took off, disappearing to the other half of the theater.

  I felt like she'd been hinting at something crucial, but I couldn't figure out what it was. By the time I got the popcorn and joined Everly and Cadence, the encounter had slipped to the back of my mind. I sat down on the other side of Cadence, baring the requested popcorn.

  "Now, I'm not sure what the rules are on pop—"

  "Mommy used to say pop will rot your teeth. Mama says to listen to Mommy because Mommy knows all about teeth," Cadence remarked.

  "Right." I blinked, trying to hide the pained smile. "So, instead...I got you apple juice, which probably isn't any better than pop in the sugar department, but at least there's no caffeine." I winked at Everly.

  "What's caffeine?"

  "Something you definitely don't need," Everly answered, hiding a smile.

  I couldn't focus on the movie at all. I was too busy watching Cadence and Everly's reactions. They smiled the same and they even laughed the same. I could see bits of me in Cadence too; or at least, me when I was a kid.

  I need a million more days like this, I thought.

  After the strange encounter with Lindsay, I was on my guard after the moment the credits started to roll. Luckily, we didn't run into anybody familiar, but Everly was stopped a few times by eager fans requesting a photo or an autograph. There wasn't a sign of Lindsay though, and I was thankful for that.

  It was dark when we exited the movie theater. We placed Cadence in her car seat and I said goodbye. "I'll see you soon, kid."

  "When?" Cadence pouted.

  "Very soon," I promised. "We'll do something super fun too. I have a few plans in mind."

  "Oh tell me! Tell me!" she pleaded.

  "You'll need to be patient for a bit. Let me talk to your mom and see what she says. I ruffled her hair affectionately before closing the door. Everly was standing beside me, having watched the scene with watery eyes.

  "Well, I chalk that up for a win." I stepped towards her. Everly placed her hand on my chest, stopping me, and glanced toward the car to remind me of Cadence's presence. "She'll get used to it," I challenged, my fingers coming around her wrist firmly. I gently pulled her toward me and kissed her until she shuddered in my arms. "One more thing..." I hesitated, giving her a shy smile as I pulled away to look at her.

  "What is it?"

  "Are you free Saturday night? Maybe we could do another sleepover at my place? We could rent a movie. I'll teach you the gist of cooking chicken?" I knew my voice was laced with vulnerability. I couldn't even be embarrassed or mad about it. Everly had been the only person to ever coax that emotion out of me. Before her, I'd never given a rat’s ass how I came across. I didn't worry about having my feelings burned because I didn't invest much thought into anything other than being pissed and indifferent.

  This though…this entire situation shook me to my core. I'd never felt more vulnerable or exposed. I had never had more to lose before.

  "Of course." Everly's smile came easily; there wasn't any hesitation in her eyes. "What time?"

  "Any time after three?"

  "We'll be there," Everly promised.

  "I was also thinking we could spend Sunday together. There's this indoor play gym that we could go to. It's pretty cool. I've taken my sisters.” I studied Everly's face. I didn't want to push her, but I knew how much she worried about overwhelming Cadence too quickly.

  "That sounds awesome," Everly answered.

  I couldn't stop the massive grin from lifting the corner of my lips up. "Perfect," I responded, swallowing hard. My eyes dropped down to her mouth.

  She hesitated, a slow smile spreading across her face as she leaned into me for another kiss. "See you later, Grayson."

  I watched as she climbed into the car and drove away before I finally turned and headed to my truck. I slowed, seeing someone leaning against it, leisurely smoking a cigarette. It was a woman wearing a long black jacket with fur trim pulled up over her head. It was dark, so I couldn't make out exactly who it was at first; all I could see was the faint glow of a cigarette while she took a drag. Then she flicked it aside, chuckling.

  "Grayson Dixon," she drawled, her face finally coming into view when she angled it just right beneath the street light. Lindsay Little sneered at me, shaking her head slowly. "Did you guys really think you could fool the world?"

  "What are you talking about?" I scowled, growing severely pissed off at the amount of times I'd run into this person in the last little while.

  "I'm not an idiot." Lindsay rolled her eyes.

  "I beg to differ," I snarled.

  Her calculating eyes narrowed at me. "It's plain as fucking daylight who the real parents of that kid are."

  "It's plain as fucking daylight that you're a crazy bitch," I retorted. "Get the fuck away from my truck and stay the hell away from us."

  "Easy," Lindsay tittered with a sly smile as she finally pulled away from my truck and approached me. I stood still, every muscle posed and ready to fight. She stopped walking and stood in front of me, her eyes roaming the length of my body. "Do you not remember?"

  "Remember what?" I demanded, my patience so thin that it was scarcely there at all.

  She laughed, a sound that grated upon my nerves and made my teeth clench together in annoyance. "Oh don't act like you don't," Lindsay almost purred. "Tap's? About a year and a half ago? Dart night?"

  I frowned, trying to recall through hazy memories exactly what she was talking about.

  "You and me...fucking in the bathroom stall." Lindsay smirked, her hand reaching out to toy with the zipper of my jacket. "Don't play dumb just because your little girlfriend is back. Although...I guess that would put a wrench in your perfectly calculated plan to win her back, huh?"

  I grabbed her hand, wrenching it away from me as if her touch was acid. Anger surging beneath my veins. "First of all, don't fucking touch me. Second, I don't remember that at all. Probably because you were so insignificant that it wasn't even worth the space in my memory."

  Lindsay's smile froze and her eyes darkened. "I'd be careful if I were you."

  "Is that a threat?" I asked, leaning in slightly. My eyes flashed with contempt. "The last thing you want to do is threaten me, Lindsay. Stay the fuck away."

  I didn't bother giving her a chance to respond. I stomped around her, slamming the door of my truck. I didn't look her way as I peeled out of the parking lot.

  My heart was pounding in my chest, my nerves were on fire and I was fucking pissed. I fished my phone out of my coat pocket, quickly dialing Katrina's number. "Hello?" she said.

  "Are you working tonight?" I demanded.

  "No, it's my night off for a change. Why?"

  "I'll be there in ten," I growled, hanging up on her. I threw my phone down on the bench seat, my hands tightening against the steering wheel as if I could strangle it. It took me less than ten minutes to get back to Newcastle and park outside of Katrina's; I hadn't paid attention to the speed limit at all. I stomped up the steps of her porch, my knuckles rapping loudly against the front door.

  She threw it open, a look of concern on her face. "What the fuck Grayson?" I never randomly showed up at her place.

  "I need to talk to you." My chest was heaving and I knew I looked frantically pissed off. She stood aside, the concern on her face only amplifying. "Please tell me I didn't fuck Lindsay Little."

  Katrina arched a brow, confusion lining her face for a moment before she busted out laughing. She leaned forward, clenching her stomach. Tears of laughter welled up in her eyes like I'd just delivered the best stand
-up routine she'd ever witnessed.

  "It's not funny!" I growled.

  "I'm sorry, Grayson, but that's fucking hilarious!" She wiped a tear from her eye. Normally, I would have found the situation funny too, but not with what was at stake.

  "Did I?" My heart thudded painfully in my chest. I could recall a blonde in my alcohol soaked hazy memory—several actually—but I couldn't recall a timeline or an actual face. Hell, I couldn't even recall a place. "Dart night?"

  Katrina's expression softened, as if she was remembering the night with clarity. She likely was; she hadn't been drunk off her ass. "I promise you that I would not let you sleep with that dirty skank," Katrina assured me. "I knew you wouldn't touch her with a ten foot long pole. Besides, the only time that Lindsay has ever set foot in Tap's while you were there was like a week or so ago, when you came in and asked me all those weird questions."

  "Then why the fuck is she claiming that we did?"

  "Think about it, you fucking idiot." Katrina shook her head and started moving toward her tiny living room. "She's always been massively jealous of Everly—especially after the band made it big. She's a destructive bitch that hasn't grown up. Plus, she knows about your reputation."

  "How come I can remember a blonde?"

  "Because there were probably a lot of blondes." Katrina shrugged. "I'm telling you, it wasn't Lindsay Little."

  The fear in my chest dissipated slightly. My hands relaxed slightly at my sides. I honestly hadn't thought I would screw Lindsay Little; I hated that girl in high school. But I didn't trust myself either. I'd been a self-destructive asshole, drunk more often than not and it wouldn't be the first time that I'd forgotten the name or face of someone I'd screwed. There were many faceless women on that list, I was ashamed to admit.

  Katrina tilted her head, eyeing me. "What's really going on here?" She sat down on her worn sofa, crossing her legs. Her foot bounced up and down as she waited for me to talk.

  "I can't tell you."

  "Grayson, I promise you. I'm not about to share your lame secrets with anybody. Just tell me what's going on so I can actually help you."

  "You were enough help. All I needed to know is that I didn't completely fuck things up with Everly," I said quickly. A part of me wanted to tell Katrina the truth about Cadence, but that felt like a betrayal to Everly, and I wasn't about to betray her again. My heart ached just thinking about it. I'd nearly crashed the truck driving like a madman to ensure that I hadn't actually fucked things up with my stupid dick years ago.

  "Fair enough." Katrina's eyes narrowed slightly. She knew I was keeping something from her, but she knew better than to push. "Maybe you should start asking for names, or writing them down somewhere or something."

  "Very funny," I snarled, stomping out of Katrina's apartment.

  ***

  I didn't know what game Lindsay was playing, but for the remainder of the week my stomach was twisted in anxious knots. I needed to talk to Everly about it. I knew she wasn't dense; she knew I'd slept with more than my fair share of women, but I had to tell her with utmost certainty that I hadn't touched that crazy bitch and had Katrina to back me if necessary.

  I knew how disgusting it would all sound, and I was terrified of hurting her more, but it had to be done. Full honesty and all that shit. Yeah, I fucked a lot of girls and I didn't remember them because Everly's face was all I ever saw, but at least I could promise her that I didn't sleep with her ex-best friend from high school. Even drunk me wouldn't have done that. I should have known that Lindsay was just stirring the pot. Still, I had feared myself enough to wonder if I had really self-destructed to that degree.

  Katrina's explanation made perfect sense. Lindsay was jealous of Everly; it was evident in the way she talked and carried herself whenever Everly was around.

  Unfortunately, I didn't get an opportunity to tell her. Cadence had started back at school, and Everly was consumed with making sure that the transition was easy for her. I was tied up at work after some setbacks on the job sight, so we didn't get to see each other until Saturday afternoon. I planned on telling her after Cadence was asleep.

  I was already in the kitchen, preparing dinner when Everly pulled up. I wasn't the best cook, but I was semi-functional and my results weren't overwhelmingly disgusting. She knocked tentatively at the door as I was drying my hands on a kitchen towel.

  My heart hammered in my chest as I opened the door. Cadence had a megawatt smile on her face that matched her mother's. She flew inside, wrapping her arms around my legs.

  "Guess what Grayson!"

  "What?" I asked, unable to stop the smile from spreading to my own lips as I looked down at her. I ruffled her hair affectionately while she peered up at me with those big blue eyes.

  "Mom let me bring Shrek the Third!" Cadence said.

  "Awesome!" I grinned back. "Guess what?"

  "What?"

  "I'm going to teach your mom how to cook tonight!"

  "Good luck," Cadence said so gravely that I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Everly blushed and smiled, shaking her head and crouching down.

  "Thanks, kid," she muttered while she helped Cadence out of her coat and boots.

  "One time, she tried to make pancakes and nearly set the entire kitchen on fire!" Cadence told me with wide eyes. I chuckled, completely bewildered by just how light and happy just being in their presence made me feel.

  I'd always felt right in Everly's presence, as if I belonged there, but now that feeling was amplified. I felt as if I finally had a purpose and I knew exactly what it was. I swallowed hard against the sudden lump of emotion in my throat. My jaw clenched as I looked away, trying to rein it in.

  It was so fucking strange to go from repressing everything to feeling again.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Everly

  I COULD TELL that Grayson was struggling with something. The emotions that swirled around in those ice blue eyes were heady and they made my heart stop in my chest, but I didn't want to question him or push him in front of Cadence, even though I was desperate to understand the origin of them.

  Instead, I took my coat off and ushered Cadence into Grayson's living room. The Christmas tree sparkled merrily, and there were several wrapped presents underneath. Like any other child, Cadence's eyes were instantly drawn to the gifts. She raced over to them while Grayson wrapped his arms around me in greeting. He kissed me chastely, his eyes promising so much more later. I couldn't help but swoon in his arms when he looked at me like that. I knew he'd deliver his promise, and I knew I would enjoy every minute of it.

  "This one says my name!" Cadence squealed suddenly, looking up with wide, astonished eyes. I furrowed my brow, looking at Grayson for an explanation. He shrugged, looking extremely sheepish. He gave me a lopsided smile and ran his hand through his hair.

  "Does it now?" he asked her. He lowered his voice, placing his lips right beside my ear. "I didn't know she could read."

  "Of course I can read, Grayson." Cadence rolled her eyes. "Why did you get me a present?"

  "Why not?" Grayson shrugged, squeezing my hand before he released me and joined her in the living room. He crouched down. "Don't you deserve a present or two?"

  Cadence thought about it for a moment and bit her lip, looking down at the present. Neither Grayson nor I missed the sadness that passed over her eyes. Cadence was young and she couldn't exactly communicate all the complicated thoughts running through her mind, but I got the impression she felt guilty. I'd had that feeling for some time now, despite the fact that Cadence didn't talk about the accident. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest.

  "Do you want to open it now?" Grayson asked. He was struggling to control the emotion in his own voice as he smiled at her.

  "Don't I have to wait for Christmas?" Cadence asked, peering up at me. Her brow was furrowed the same way Grayson furrowed his brow when confused.

  I smiled at her. "If Grayson says it's okay, you can open it," I told her. Christmas wasn't for several more wee
ks, but Cadence needed this.

  Grayson picked up the biggest present and handed it to her. It was wrapped expertly in silver paper with a golden ribbon tied around it. He helped her untie the ribbon and then gently pushed the present toward her, coaxing her. Cadence hesitated, her finger beneath the fold of paper.

  "Go on." Grayson smiled. My heart stuttered in my chest, and it got a little harder to breathe while I watched this moment between the two of them. Cadence finally ripped into the present with the childlike joy and lack of constraint she would have shown prior to the accident. The paper fell, revealing the massive Barbie Dream House. Cadence's eyes widened with approval.

  "I LOVE it!" she said with excitement. I didn't have to instruct her on manners; Julia had drilled them into her right away. She flew around the house and threw her arms around Grayson's neck, knocking him over from his crouched position. He laughed a laugh that I'd never heard before. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

  "I guess you need to open a few more to have fun with it, huh?" Grayson asked, his eyes twinkling. He reached over and grabbed two more. "What's a Barbie house without any Barbies?"

  Cadence ripped into them eagerly, revealing a pink convertible. She also got a Barbie, Ken, and Kelly doll. The emotion in my chest almost hurt. He'd chosen dolls that looked as similar to us as he could. The male Ken doll had dark hair, as did the child doll.

  "Thank you!" Cadence squealed, jumping up and down while Grayson started the tedious task of removing her new toys from the boxes. He ended up having to carry the majority of them into the kitchen to use a knife, his brow furrowed as he muttered about the seemingly impossible task.

  Once all of her new toys were out of the boxes, Cadence sat down in the living room to play with them. I had remained by the foyer, watching the scene unfold in front of my eyes like some kind of dream. Grayson approached me warily, as if he was afraid of getting in trouble. I smiled at him and he relaxed, his arms coming around my waist to pull me against his chest.

  "How did you know?" I asked, gesturing to the impressive Barbie set up. He grinned, his eyes roaming my face.