by S A Clayton
I say nothing, not wanting to cause more issues than I already have over the last few weeks.
“I’m making sure you’re on opposite shifts from now on.”
I turn, looking into his eyes that are soft and understanding. I tilt my head, wondering how he knows when he gives me a small smile.
“Buttercup, that girl can’t shut her mouth to save her life. She came in here after that night bragging about whatever the hell happened and so I told her she either shuts her pie hole, or she loses her job.”
A shuddering breath escapes as a sense of relief floods my veins. “Thank you.”
He kisses me on the cheek and motions to the room.
“Now get to work.” He winks as he heads back into his office, and I spend the next few hours trying to forget the text messages and voice mails that I know are currently sitting on my phone.
I’ve been home for a few minutes, changed into sweatpants and a large T-shirt and I’ve poured myself a huge glass of wine, I turn on my TV and try to distract myself until Mel gets here with food. My phone mocks me as it sits facedown on my coffee table, next to the box of cookies and bag of gummy bears.
“Knock, knock!” Mel says as she opens the door and hauls in the bags of Thai food from down the street.
“Whatever you got smells delicious.” She smiles, going into the kitchen and setting all the bags down on the island.
“Well, I might have gotten one of everything…”
I give her a look and she waves me off, taking out all the containers and placing them on the granite countertop.
“Of course, you did… but I’m starving, so let’s dig in.”
And we do. We spend the next few minutes plating our food and then head into my living room. The second we sit down, Mel turns on the couch and faces me and I take a big bite of pad thai, knowing what’s coming.
“So, have you talked to Josh yet?”
From my lack of eye contact and the fact that I stuff my face with more food, she knows my answer.
“Seriously? Has he called?”
I shrug, still not verbally answering her.
So instead of asking me more questions, she picks up my phone off the table and looks at it. “Really, Harper? You turned it off?”
“Yes, I did. I needed time to think.”
She shakes her head and turns the phone on and immediately sees a whole bunch of messages come through.
“You needed a week to think. About what exactly?”
I shrug again.
“You don’t know, do you? You’re just using that as an excuse not to deal with this. You’ve done that your whole life.”
I sit up straight and turn toward her. “Done what all my life?”
“Avoid conflict. You can’t stand it and will do everything in your power to avoid it, and that includes the silent treatment.”
I shake my head but in the recesses of my mind I know she’s right. Just as I go to take another bite, my phone rings, and when I see Josh’s name, my heart stops, and my eyes meet Mel’s.
She arches her brow and when I don’t make a move to pick it up, she does it for me. “Harper’s phone, Mel speaking.”
My eyes widen as she gets up before I can take the phone away from her.
“What the hell are you doing!” I whisper-yell as she waves me off and walks into the kitchen.
“Hey Josh, yes, Harper’s here.” She listens for a second, Josh obviously telling her something as she nods her head in understanding.
Traitor.
“Mel, hang up the phone,” I demand, but she just rolls her eyes and listens some more.
“I know, but she’s stubborn,” Mel tells Josh as I throw a plastic fork in her direction. “I’ve told her that, yes.” Mel bursts out laughing, and I narrow my eyes.
“Mel, hand me the phone.”
Her gaze shoots to mine and I hold out my hand.
“Come on,” I nag and when she sighs, I know I’ve won.
“Hang on, Josh, Harper wants the phone.” I smirk at the fact that she didn’t say I wanted to talk to him, because that’s the farthest thing from the truth. I just want to tell him to stop calling. When the phone hits my hand, it’s heavier than I remember, and when I lift it to my ear, I don’t have a chance to say a word before Josh’s sexy voice fills my ear.
“Harper, please don’t hang up.” His voice is like a balm to my soul, even though it also reminds me exactly what he did. I say nothing, my voice disappearing with every breath I take. “I know what happened looked bad. I know you think I fucked up, and maybe I did. Maybe I should have told her to get lost a lot faster than I did, but I didn’t go there with her. I promise.”
I take a shuddering breath before my voice comes back.
“Then why were you at a bar when you told me you were meeting Justin for a meeting?” It’s the one thing that’s been bothering me ever since I stormed out of that place.
“Because that’s where Justin wanted to meet. He was watching his other clients play on the screens and asked me to meet him there. So, I did. I didn’t go there to meet Angela; I was actually on my way back to see you when she approached me.”
I want to believe him. I want to believe that he’s not the kind of guy to actively meet another woman when he’s seeing me. I want that so badly.
“Really?” My voice is so quiet I’m almost positive he doesn’t hear me.
“I promise, Sunshine. You are the only thing I want.”
I look over at Mel who is sitting on my couch, stuffing her face. She tilts her head and gives me a look that says I should give him another chance, and the more I stand here, the more I want to. I’ve never had a guy fight so hard to keep me. Josh has spent the last week calling, texting, and begging me to talk to him. That has to count for something… right?
“Okay,” I say before I overthink it.
“Okay?” He sounds shocked, almost as if he doesn’t know what to say next. “You’ll let me come over?”
“When do you get home?” I know he’s on a road trip, but I’ve been avoiding any mention of him, so I honestly don’t know where he is.
“In a few days. Can I come see you when I land?” I peer over at Mel one more time and she gives me a knowing smirk.
“Yes, you can come over after you land. Just text me when you do so I can make sure I’m not at the gym.” After a beat of silence, the awkwardness starts to set in and I realize we might not make it back from this, then he speaks.
“I’ve missed you, Sunshine.”
I can lie to him and say I haven’t, but I know that’s not going to help anyone. Especially since I’ve missed him a lot more than I realized.
“I’ve missed you too,” I admit before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. Did I make the right decision?
I have no idea.
3
Harper
Am I stupid to hear him out? Of course not, he’s not Cole. I shake the thought of that asshole from my mind, trying my best not to compare the two men when I know they are nothing alike.
I’m currently sitting at my bay window, my cup of coffee slowly diminishing as I stare down to the street and watch people walk to work. Henry knows Josh comes home today, he also knows that he’s coming over straight from the airport and we both agreed that it would probably be best if I just stayed home since I would be no help to him when my brain is only thinking about what’s about to happen.
It doesn’t help that I didn’t get much sleep these last few nights, or the fact that Mel has called me every night asking if he’s been over yet. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell her, she still calls, and I know what she’s doing; she’s checking to make sure I’m okay, and I love her for it. But right now, I just wish he would land, so I can’t stop looking outside and feeling as if my breakfast is going to come right back up the way it went down. My eyes glance down at the now empty cup of coffee and just as I’m about to get up to pour myself another cup, something catches my eye outside and when I look down tow
ard the sidewalk, my entire body freezes.
Josh is standing there, hands in his pockets and head tilted back as his eyes stare directly at me. My cheeks heat, my palms begin to sweat, and as I take a deep, shuddering breath, I look away. I don’t know what I was expecting, but feeling this nervous is throwing me off guard. I close my eyes, trying to figure out what he’s going to say. The pit in my stomach returns as the images of him and Angela enter my head. No matter what they did—or didn’t do—it doesn’t change the fact that Angela had her lips fused to Josh’s and no matter how many times I try to replay his words from our phone call a few days ago, those images still haunt me.
I start to pace the kitchen as I set my mug in the sink and wonder what’s taking him so long to get up here. My brain is also trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to say. Do I just come out and ask if they ever slept together? I shake that thought from my head and try to think calmly and rationally.
A knock sounds at the door as all rational thought leaves my brain. My hand reaches for the doorknob as I freeze, knowing exactly what’s waiting for me on the other side and what this moment might mean.
“Open the door, Harper, please.”
I expected to hear that demanding tone I always crave, but instead it’s pleading, almost desperate. And when I open the door and see Josh standing there, looking just as awful as I feel, his eyes find mine and radiate the sadness I’ve been feeling for the last few days. His shoulders are heavy and his hands move to touch mine, but I shift out of his reach.
“Can I come in?”
I shrug, opening the door and walking away, letting him decide.
He takes that to mean he should follow and shuts the door behind him when he enters. I go into the kitchen, grabbing my mug and pouring another cup of coffee since I can’t stand there and watch him. I can’t.
“Have you slept with her?” That question is the one that has been pounding through my brain for the past few days and I cringe at the fact that it flew out right when he shut the door. Josh watches as I take my coffee and head into the living room and sit on my couch.
“No, I haven’t slept with her.” Our eyes meet, and I stare into his, trying to find a shred of deceit, but find none.
“The way she was hanging off you, I—”
He holds up his hand, stopping me mid-sentence and thank God because I really didn’t want to finish that thought. He starts shaking his head as he sits down, taking one of my hands in his. The warmth of his touch sends familiar shivers up my spine as I curse at how good his touch feels.
“I know what she tried to imply, but she’s just trying to get under your skin. You know that. It’s the kind of girl she is.”
I know he’s right on some level. His eyes plead with mine to understand and I really do want to believe him.
“I know the pictures from the basketball game and then what happened at the bar don’t paint the best picture of me.”
I arch an eyebrow in agreement and when I stay silent, refusing to help him in any way, he continues. “And I promise that every one of those meetings was initiated by her.”
This is what I wanted, right? The truth? No matter how much I want to throw something against a wall, I know he’s telling the truth and how can I fault him for that?
“I want to believe you.” The words are out before I can stop them, and from the hopeful look on his face, my insides start to crumble. He edges closer and I still, his eyes widening.
“But you don’t,” he mutters as I take a deep breath and try and figure out how to explain the feelings rolling around inside my head.
“It’s not that I don’t, it’s that I can’t let myself.”
His eyes narrow, clearly now understanding, so I sit crossed-legged on the couch and face him.
“When I started dating Cole, everything was perfect, I thought everything was perfect.”
Josh’s eyes soften.
“Then I find out that he’s been going behind my back for most of our relationship, getting it from every girl that will open her legs wide enough.”
“You’re afraid of trusting me.”
My eyes lower, hating that these insecurities swallow every good thing I feel. Josh’s fingers trace the edge of my jaw before lifting my eyes to his.
“You can trust me, Sunshine, I’m not Cole. I won’t step out on you, I won’t betray your trust and I’m definitely not going anywhere.” His thumb lightly flutters over my bottom lip as I suck in a breath. “I promise.” The words are whispered as he kisses my cheek and I start to give in. I knew I would the second he walked into this apartment and I smelled that pine scent I love so much.
“Okay,” I say quietly. I can’t let my fears dictate something I know will be worth it in the end.
“Okay?” he asks as his eyes widen, sounding optimistic.
As much as the dread from the past still creeps up my spine, I decided to believe him.
“But I need to know that she won’t creep back into our life again. As much as I want to trust you…” My voice trails off, avoiding his gaze, knowing that he can’t control what Angela says or does, but he can control how close she gets.
“You can. I promise on my life that I will never do what he did to you. Ever.”
The tears start as I tilt my head back, trying to sift through all the emotions running through my body right now.
“I’m willing to give this another shot. What I feel for you is bigger than anything I’ve felt in a long time and I don’t think I can let that go.”
Josh leans in, his forehead touching mine as his fingers find their way into my hair, gripping tightly, almost as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear. His intake of breath sends a shiver throughout my entire body, knowing what’s coming and what he’s waiting for. The need to kiss him is so strong that I find myself leaning toward him the longer we sit like this.
“Sunshine, I need to kiss you.” He groans as I gasp, his fingers digging into my scalp a little harder. “Please let me kiss you,” he pleads, his gorgeous blue eyes mirroring the same desperation that I bet he sees in mine.
My head tilts slightly, agreeing as that handsome smile fills his face just before his mouth crashes to mine.
God, he tastes fucking amazing.
Our lips rush together as if we haven’t seen each other in years. His hands grasp at my hair once again, pulling me closer. His tongue darts out, licking my lower lip, demanding entrance. A throaty moan escapes when our tongues tangle, his kisses becoming harder and harder. I lean farther into him, wanting to feel as much of him as possible. My hands travel down his chest, feeling his muscles contract with every pass of my fingers. He untangles his hands from my hair and grabs my hips, pulling me closer. A growl comes from Josh, the feeling of his lips on mine bordering on heaven. My hand slips down Josh’s torso, past his belt and finds itself on the growing hardness in his jeans.
“Josh…” I whimper. “Please.” I have no idea what I’m asking for, but Josh’s hands grasp my hips as he hauls me into his lap, my legs straddling his. He grabs my ass, grinding himself against my most sensitive spot as my head falls back in ecstasy. His cock against my core is all I ever want to know as my hips grind back and forth creating much-needed friction.
His lips travel from mine down my neck and I can’t take it anymore, I grab the hem of my shirt and rip it over my head. I stop when I see the look of desire on Josh’s face when he notices the red lace bra that covers my breasts.
Thank you, Victoria’s Secret.
His lips suck my nipple through the sheer lace and my mind goes somewhere else because I forgot what it felt like to have his lips against me. He goes from one nipple to the other as I grind my needy pussy against his growing erection, whimpering as it hits my clit with every pass. Josh growls louder the harder I ride him, his hands gripping my ass harder, urging me to go faster.
“Fuck, Harper, you feel so fucking good right now,” he mumbles, tracing over the edge of my sweats as I start to pant.
“
Jesus,” I whimper. “Touch me. Please touch me,” I repeat over and over, grabbing his face and hauling his lips back to mine. Our lips tangle and from the way his hips surge up to meet mine, I don’t think he minds one bit.
He breaks our kiss only for his lips to travel across my jaw toward that sensitive place under my ear that drives me wild. I whimper, silently begging him as a shudder goes through me, his hands grasping my breasts once more, kneading and tightening as my nipples harden under his touch.
“Where do you want me to touch you?” he whispers as I ride him harder and harder. “Show me, Harper, show me where you want it,” he pleads, feeling the heat go straight to my pussy.
Fuck, the way he’s talking is sending me over the edge and I need him to touch me before I explode. So, grabbing his hand, I push it past the waist of my sweats, stopping at the lace of my panties.
“Harper…” he groans as a sly smile forms on the edge of my lips.
I push our hands past the top of my panties as his fingers find my soaking wet lips. The loudest moan I have ever heard leaves my lips when the tips of his fingers find my aching clit.
“Sunshine, how could I forget how wet you get for me?”
I don’t answer, I just grind against his fingers, my hips seeming to have a mind of their own. “More…” I moan, pleading for him to keep going as I continue to grind against him.
“My pleasure.” His lips whisper against my skin as he attacks my mouth one more time just as his fingers enter my heat, melting me from the inside out. My body goes into overdrive as this overwhelming sensation takes over my body and I explode without warning.
“Josh, fuck!” I scream as white light explodes behind my eyes, my legs shaking as my hands grasp his shoulders for support. As I come down from one of the best orgasms of my life, Josh lifts me off the couch and into his arms.
“Where’s your bedroom?”
4
Josh