Carefully he put on his hat and adjusted it, then adjusted it again, his nervousness making him break out in perspiration which darkened his shirt with little blotches, adding more worry to his already stressed mind. After sucking in a deep breath to held steady himself he turned and went out to where his mother waited.
She told him he looked wonderful and he could tell that she was very proud of him. “You look very handsome in your uniform Willy,” she said, giving his shirt a gentle mother’s twitch.
Willy smiled back but his mind said, ‘Yes, but will Barbara think so?’ Then an even more gloomy thought came to him: would she even notice him?
At school there was teasing to be endured, making Willy alternately annoyed and angry. The sneering jibes certainly hurt but it was Barbara’s reaction when they met outside the classroom that really stung. She glanced at him. Recognition and surprise crossed her face and then she curled her lip and turned away. Willy felt really cast down and meeting Marjorie a few minutes later did not help, even though she gushed over how good he looked.
But Marjorie had known he was an air cadet and she was used to seeing her brother Stick in uniform. Stick and Noddy were both in the same section as Willy and they joined him now. Luckily Marjorie had to leave as Willy did not want Barbara to see her talking to him. The cadets made their way to the assembly hall to prepare for the ceremony.
Once he was in the ranks among many other cadets Willy felt better. He was also very interested in the uniforms and badges of the other two services. To see the army cadet sergeants with scarlet sashes and their CUOs wearing Sam Browne belts made him slightly jealous. Seeing the army cadets in a group with their famous slouch hats with the side turned up and in their best uniforms with black belts and lanyards made a real impression. The last time he had seen them dressed like that had been at their annual Passing-Out Parade on the school oval the previous November and memories of that caused him a twinge of regret. It had been his radio-controlled model aircraft, a red ‘Fokker DR1’ triplane- the famous aeroplane flown by the Red Baron- that had buzzed low through their parade during the inspection, causing the colonels and majors to dive flat or scurry away and throwing the ordered ranks of cadets into confusion.
The navy cadets in their dress whites also looked very good and Willy was struck by how attractive Andrew Collin’s big sister Carmen looked. She was one of the cenotaph guard and even in the long white trousers and with gaiters and boots still looked very shapely and attractive.
‘So is that girl next to Andrew, the brunette with big boobs,’ he mused.
Then the cadets were called to attention and right dressed and Willy concentrated on his drill. Only when the students filed into to take their places did he look anxiously around to see if Barbara was watching. But he could only get glimpses of her red hair and she was on the other side of the hall among a thousand other students so he did not get to see if she had seen him.
During the ceremony Willy found himself engulfed by conflicting emotions. There was pride in being a cadet and of preparing to serve his country, there were the conventional thoughts about the sacrifice of the soldiers, sailors and airmen who had been killed in their country’s service; and there were ghastly flashbacks to Uncle Ted’s mutilated body and to his coffin being lowered into the ground. These left Willy sweating and trembling. So ill did he become that he feared he might faint or have to fall out but he manfully gritted his teeth and stuck it out.
After the ceremony he would have liked to stay in his uniform but the instructions were to change back into school uniform so he reluctantly did this. On the way to change he loitered in the hope of letting Barbara see him but that did not happen. With mingled feelings of regret and relief he changed and then made his way to his classroom for the resumption of normal classes.
‘How can I get Barbara to notice me?’ he fretted.
Back in class Willy alternated daydreams of flying airships with studying Barbara. Then his mind wandered into more exciting and delicious fantasies in which he used the airship to save Barbara from the clutches of various gangs of villains; after which she would fall in love with him. He sighed and gazed at her. If only she would notice him. If only!
‘What can I say to her? How do I ask her out?’ Willy wondered. Even as he puzzled over this he despised himself as a coward as he sensed that his main reason for hesitating was fear of failure.
In spite of his daydreams Willy still got all his schoolwork done. His sums always came out easily; and with the correct answer. Not so Barbara’s. She did poorly. Every time she got an answer wrong Willy was pained and puzzled. ‘She’s not dumb,’ Willy told himself. She appeared to have plenty of ability but did almost no work. She rarely even attempted to do her homework and was continually misbehaving. She frequently defied the teachers and back-answered.
‘It is that Karen Hart,’ Willy thought, blaming Barbara’s friend. ‘She is a bad influence.’ He found it all a bit upsetting and he couldn’t imagine why Barbara acted the way she did.
And she was a flirt.
That really hurt. Willy saw her making eyes at the Year 11 boys at lunchtime and it made him writhe with jealousy inside. She went off with a group of her friends, calling taunts to a group of boys. These contained a number of crude expressions which pained Willy even more as he wanted to think of Barbara as the perfect girl. He retired to his favourite seat feeling baffled and depressed.
Marjorie turned up a few minutes later with a black-haired girlfriend with glasses in tow. Marjorie introduced her as Shona then sat down beside him so close that their arms touched. She began to chatter away about the latest ‘Rock’ Group. This left Willy bored as he preferred 18th Century ‘Classical’ music.
To his surprise Marjorie leaned against him and rested her arm on his leg. He wanted to get up but he stayed seated, his heart thumping hard, wondering how he could get rid of Marjorie without hurting her feelings.
‘If Barbara sees her doing this my chances will be zilch!’ he thought with dismay. Nervously he scanned the students who could see them. It was all a bit trying. Luckily Marjorie took her hand away after a while and went off with Shona. Willy was able to recover his composure before the bell went.
Friday night was Air Cadets. It was something Willy looked forward to and really enjoyed. He found it a pleasure to once again don his uniform- this time the camouflage work dress as their good uniforms were needed for the parade the next day (And Willy’s was in the wash). The Friday night Home Training Parade went for three hours and was mostly Drill (which Willy enjoyed and was good at) in preparation for Anzac Day. There was also a lesson on aircraft recognition (at which he was annoyed for not being able to tell a ‘Hercules’ ‘G’ from an ‘H’ model) and a briefing for the parade the next day.
On Saturday morning Willy again dressed as carefully as he could in his best cadet uniform. There was petty annoyance from his big brother Lloyd who sneered at him when he was polishing his boots. Lloyd just said all military ‘stuff’ was stupid and waste of time and money. He did not plan to attend the Anzac Day march. But both of Willy’s parents did. His father drove the car and they dropped him off at the park at the end of the Esplanade where the parade was to form up. Willy then strode proudly through the milling throng looking for the other air cadets.
The whole of 104 Squadron was to march and they were easy to find. Nearby were the army cadets and navy cadets also forming up. Willy had to pass close to the army cadets who were still standing in groups and as he did he was several times teased by people calling him a ‘Blue Orchid’, ‘Protected Species’ or a ‘Koala Bear’ (Not to be exported or shot at). These were all suggestions that the members of the air force took few risks in wartime compared to the members of the army and navy and the injustice of it nettled Willy. He was aware that historically very few ground crew were casualties but he was knew that among air crew the casualty rate was very much higher.
He found Stick and his sister Marjorie talking to an army cadet- Roge
r Dunning from his own class. Willy considered Roger to be a bit of a chubby joke and but now noted that he wore a lance corporal’s stripe and that caused both a slight increase in respect and a small stab of jealousy. To become a Leading Cadet was Willy’s next immediate objective and he hoped to qualify on camps in either June or September.
Marjorie was all attentive and that got Willy both pleased and worried. ‘I wonder if Barbara is here?’ he thought. He glanced around but saw no sign of her and sadly decided that Barbara was not the sort of girl who would make sacrifices for her country or take part in anything military.
But he did see another army cadet: Stephen. Stephen was a corporal and that also niggled at Willy’s emotions as he had set his sights on being selected for the January Promotion Course and hoped to be that rank next year. To add to Willy’s annoyance Stephen came over and began chatting to Marjorie in what looked like a very obvious attempt to ‘win on’. Willy had to admit he was jealous, even though he told himself he didn’t care. And he was peeved that Marjorie seemed to return Stephen’s interest smiling and simpering and laughing at his silly (and crude) jokes.
The chatter, jibes and jokes came to an end when they were called on to form up. For the air cadets this was done by Cadet Warrant Officer Cliff Barnet, a tall, dark-haired Year 11 from Trinity Anglican who Willy admired very much for his efficiency and smartness on parade. The air cadets were formed up in three ranks and then right dressed. This time Willy was in the middle rank three files back from the front. It meant he was not very obvious but could glance to both right and left as they marched along to try to spot the people he wanted to see him. He saw his parents and they gave him fond smiles and loud hand-clapping but he saw no sign of Barbara.
When marching as part of the squadron Willy felt very proud and he barely noticed the hot sun or the perspiration that trickled into his eyes. This time he stood straight and still and apart from feeling hot in the feet and a bit thirsty did not experience the sort of nausea he had endured the previous day. He was able to stand through the whole ceremony without worrying about fainting or falling out- as many others did. It cheered to Willy to see that many of these were army cadets or navy cadets. He was also sure that the drill and discipline of the air cadets was of a much higher standard than that of either the army cadets or navy cadets.
After the ceremony Willy wanted to walk around in his uniform to show off and to talk to his friends (And to see again if Barbara was there) but his parents were there and after praising him and the air cadets they insisted he go home. So, reluctantly, Willy said goodbye to Stick and Noddy and went, glad that he had escaped before Marjorie could find them in the crowd. His parents took him straight home.
The remainder of the weekend was a quiet one. Willy’s father drove up to the farm that afternoon to help Aunty Isabel. Willy offered to go but was told to stay at home and rest so he busied himself with chores around the house and by working on his model zeppelin. In fact he had not really wanted to go to the farm as he was still having bad dreams every night and was very moody, with periods of deep depression.
The events of the previous weekend had never been out of his mind for long and must have been churning over in his sub-conscious because on Saturday night he had the worst nightmare he could ever remember.
In the dream he was being chased by something through a forest and had climbed, with enormous difficulty, high up into a huge tree which swayed in the breeze most alarmingly. As he clung to a branch the ‘thing’ which had been pursuing him materialized at the bottom of the trunk as a man wearing a white safety helmet and carrying a yellow chain saw. Willy knew at once that the man had murdered Uncle Ted- and now wanted to murder him. The man had superhuman strength as he began to shake the tree violently with one hand, in an attempt to make Willy fall out. It took all of Willy’s rapidly ebbing strength to hang on. He tried to call for help but could only utter a stifled moan.
The man looked up at him with an evil grin. Then he started the chain saw and began to laugh. The laugh rose above the sound of the chain saw in a demonic cackle. Willy wanted to plead for his life. He knew he was weakening and it was a long way to fall. He was sweating and that made his hands slippery so it was harder to hold on. Then he felt himself slipping. In mounting desperation he clung on.
He looked down and watched in incredulous panic as the man began to cut the tree down, the noise of the motor rising and falling with a hysterical shrieking sound. Sawdust flew and a large chunk fell out. The tree trembled and creaked. The man paused and looked up as he repositioned the saw. Willy stared at him, frozen by terror.
The man’s face had turned into a skull!
And when the saw began to bite again it no longer threw out sawdust. Blood began to bubble and spew out of the cut. It poured down the white bark of the tree in rivulets and the saw blade began spewing out chunks of mutilated meat. The tree began to sway. Willy looked around in desperation. He knew exactly how the tree would crash down. It swayed and began to topple. He screamed.
“It’s alright Willy. Wake up!” came his mother’s voice.
Willy struggled to open his eyes. They felt gummed shut and the lids were heavy. With an effort he wrenched them open and squinted. His light was on and his mother was stroking his face. She smiled and wiped it with a cloth. He was soaked by perspiration.
“Sorry mum. I was having a bad dream,” Willy explained.
“I know. I could hear you.”
Willy’s brother Lloyd called from the doorway: “So could the rest of the street. I’ll bet they heard that scream two blocks away.”
“That will do Lloyd,” his mother chided. “Now you just lie there Willy while I get you something.”
Willy lay back and shuddered. When his mother came back with a cup he said: “It was horrible Mum. I was up a tree and a man with a chain saw was cutting it down and...”
“Ssh! That will do. No details. Forget it. Now drink this.”
Willy did so. Then he lay back and his mother talked quietly for a few minutes. Then she got up. “I’ll leave the hallway light on. You just lie there and think of nice things.”
She turned off his bedroom light and went out. Willy tried to relax. It was just after 2am he noted. Think of nice things? OK, what? Airships? No. Barbara!
Willy began to construct a fantasy about Barbara. He imagined they were on an airliner- in a storm- yes, a bad storm- and something had happened to the pilots and Willy was the only person on board who knew anything about flying. ‘I will fly the plane,’ he declared. He struggled along to the cockpit, knocking down a terrorist on the way- No. Too improbable.
‘What if we are at a school dance and I save Barbara from a gang of bikies? And later she.. yes. Start the fantasy there. Barbara and I are outside in the moonlight- yes moonlight. She is in my arms sobbing her gratitude. Now she turns her face up to be kissed.’
But it isn’t Barbara he is kissing! It is Marjorie. She has clamped on like a limpet and is rubbing herself against him. ‘No! Go away Marjorie! It is Barbara I want!’
Try as he might it was Marjorie’s face which kept drifting into his thoughts. And her body! He couldn’t help thinking of her body. He drifted off to sleep with his imagination struggling with a naked Marjorie. He was very aroused, and disgusted with himself for enjoying it and not resisting. ‘I must be true to Barbara!’ he told himself in desperation.
Willy woke up knowing that Marjorie had won, although the dream had faded just as they were about to do it. He wondered what it would be like and felt abnormally randy.
Sunday was spent at home. Willy worked on his model zeppelin. This was a huge framework three metres long of thin balsa wood covered by tissue paper which he painted to resemble the fabric envelope. To his annoyance thoughts of Marjorie kept creeping in, alternating with brooding introspection about death. Every time his mind shifted to Marjorie he became aroused and found it hard to concentrate. Exasperated with himself he turned from his work bench and took down his powered mode
l of a Fokker Triplane.
“Barbara, think of Barbara,” he told himself as he gently dusted the model aircraft’s wings. He admired the plane from several angles and reminisced on how it had helped him to rescue Petra Pantovitch the previous year. ‘That was when I met Barbara,’ he mused. ‘Perhaps the plane- or the zeppelin- can help me to win her affections; or at least her attention?’
Once again he puzzled over what tactics to use to gain Barbara’s interest. “I must ask her out. I will do it next week,” he resolved. “Next Saturday night will be a good time for a date.”
But at school the next day no opportunity seemed to present itself. Willy could not think of what to say. He constructed a speech and walked around rehearsing it- then decided it would not do. ‘It sounds corny,’ he worried. ‘She will think I am a dill!’ So he made up another speech and rehearsed that, but continually found fault with parts of it and kept changing it.
During morning breaks and lunch times Willy walked around looking for Barbara, hoping for an opportunity to speak to her alone. He also made a point of avoiding Marjorie. Whenever he spotted her he went the other way if he could. When he couldn’t he was gruff and distant. As for Barbara, she was either nowhere to be seen or with a group of girls.
Willy fumed but did nothing. Instead he made arrangements with Mr Feldt to have his model zeppelin inflated with hydrogen in the school laboratory.
‘The model might do the trick,’ he thought. ‘It was so big the whole school will notice it. And if it flies Barbara just has to be impressed.’ For an instant the worrying thought of ‘What if it doesn’t fly?’ crossed his mind but he resolutely pushed this out. He had faith in his calculations and craftsmanship.
So he devoted his spare time to finishing the model and dreamed of how he would fly it around the school. He visualized Barbara’s face, upturned in wonder at the model, then focused on him in admiration.
Airship Over Atherton Page 6