by Robert Lyon
and noted she seemed quite pleased with herself perhaps even vindicated, at least in her own mind.
Artimus waited for Spayner to sit down and reengaged the group. “I want to point out,” he said, “this ship seems to have developed an attitude that is absolutely insubordinate. It just seems to be your way. I wanted this to be a good ship that would fill it’s sailors with pride; instead I find nothing but contempt.
I…I don’t think I have done anything to deserve this type of treatment. I have never seen a captain treated this way, and I will make it stop. I’m telling you now, stop.”
Lt. Capes politely leaned in over the table and asked,
“What changes do we need to make captain?” Artimus placed his hand on the small of his back and leaned backwards in a slight stretch and responded, “The insubordination has to stop.
We have a third class on board that I won’t name, but he is one of many that seems to believe if you are following the manual then you out rank anyone that wants to do it differently than prescribed. And every time I have tried to correct him his response has been, ‘that would make an interesting courts martial’.
The chiefs were down on the main deck in the chief’s mess awaiting their ‘talking to’. Rumor had already risen as to the captain not seeking to punish those that attempted to ‘call in’ and not show up to work, neither was he looking to congratulate those that cleared the roads with the National Guard. Wardroom
‘mess cranks’ were cleaning the officer’s lounge adjacent to the dinning space. The ‘mess cranks’ sent from various divisions and work centers are to support the galley operations of cleaning and providing meals to the crew, and their political allegiances amongst the assistant managers that being chief petty officers and managers those being junior officers, varied. The chief’s
always had their eyes on what was being planned or conspired about…always. To the point of not have any concern of impending doom or grandeur, their manipulations simply became a matter of maintaining an image and some self-respect.
The word from this particular grape vine was that the captain wants everyone to bow when he enters the room and we’re going to do everything different because the third classes were out of control. They also said he was considering removing broccoli from the ships menu; which was just some sarcasm regarding a former president.
Chief Pete whispered to chief Casius, “Are they really going to rewrite all the manuals?” Casius coughed and said,
“That’s the least of their ludicrous ideas”. Master Chief
Hauldbalm looked at the two chiefs and said, “Quit the whispering; pass notes like the rest of the class…then,” he continued with a sarcastic defeated tone reserved for those of age, “I’ll have it in writing.”
Artimus was just beginning his rally call in the wardroom when the phone rang, Ens. Swishzel answered, “Wardroom ensign Swishzel.” The voice on the phone replied, “Mr.
Swishzel, this is the Quarterdeck, we’ve received a call for the captain to contact the squadron commander.” Swishzel replied,
“I’ll let him know.”
Artimus stood up and tugged on the sleeves of his short sleeved khaki shirt and with the posture of a statesmen said, “I will have order, I will have rule, and I am this ship’s captain and commander. Its crew will take its leadership and guidance from me alone.” Swishzel interjected, “Sir, the quarterdeck received a call…you need to call the squadron commander.”
Artimus looked at Swishzel sternly and said, “Sit down.”
Swishzel sat in his chair at the table and Artimus continued, “Do
you understand what I am talking about? My direction alone.”
Swishzel nodded a yes and glanced around for anyone that had a sympathetic gaze; everyone however was staring at the table just in front of them as though they were in shock. Artimus glanced around and blushed; he began tapping his pockets as though he were looking for his car keys and said, “The squadron commander is now waiting on me to call him. And, I would like to point out a captain can’t mutiny his own ship.”
After the captain stepped out of the space there was a general sigh amongst all the officers. Mr. Mormus asked, “Did you all get what he was saying?” and looked around at the officers seated there. With a general affirmative gesture from those officers he continued, “Then one of you is going to have to explain it to me. I have no idea what his point was.”
Over the 1MC the word was passed, “Relive the watch!”
Now that the crew was onboard in its entirety the normal watch rotation could be set. Mr. Mormus called down to the quarterdeck to speak to the off going watch and asked Williams to personally verify the captain had received the message for the captain to call the squadron commander. “I’ll go see what he is up to sir” was her reply.
The chief’s mess received a call from Ens. Dohann, “Tell chief ‘Pete’, the captain just left the wardroom he’s probably on his way down there now.” Chief Pete struck a manly commanding demeanor and authoritatively announced to the chiefs, “The old man is on his way down.” and seemingly with a sense of purpose and urgency he refilled his coffee cup, glanced at the chiefs and with an obvious sense of confidence and accomplishment slowly strolled back to his seat. The command master chief Hauldbalm added, “The old man is on his way down…well, that’s something.”
Seaman Williams arrived at the captain’s inport stateroom and knocked. “Come in.” the Captain said, he was seated at his desk reading a newspaper. Williams asked, “Did you get the message that the squadron commander needs you to call him captain?” The captain looked at her a little surprised about that being the reason for her visit and responded, “Yes. Did he call again?” Williams replied, “No, sir” The captain turned the page of his newspaper and dismissively said, “Let me know when he calls again, thank you.” Williams subtly shifted to standing at attention and said, “Yes, sir.”
Williams headed down to female berthing to change out of her working blues uniform and into her dungarees. She called the quarterdeck and told them to let her know when the squadron commander called again for the captain. A few of the women were hiding out from the cold, the ship was warm enough but it seems the freeze had made its way into their heads. As Athena left the space for her work center in her dungarees she flaunted a bit of a strut, she’s getting thing done.
Ens. Dohann and Petty officer first class Hudlow walked into central they announced to the few of us there that the ship may not get underway today Gsm1 Hudlow said, “The ship may not be getting underway today, it seems the hull having ice crystals forming below the waterline was an exaggerated concern, the Captain is waiting to call the squadron commander.” I responded, “Waiting for the squadron commander to call him or the other way around?” Dohann said,
“The other way around.” Hudlow added, “The weather report said it’s just going to dissipate in a day or two.”
Over the 1MC the word was passed, “Commanding officer, you have a call on the quarterdeck.” Athena Williams called the quarterdeck, the petty officer of the watch answered, “Hello, sir,
you have a call from the squadron commander waiting on the outside line.” Athena responded, “Ya, it’s me Athena. I told you to call me when that call came.” Petty officer Brock replied,
“Williams, we can handle it. Get off the phone in case the captain calls.” and he hung up the phone.
Captain Artimus put down his newspaper, stood up and adjusted his belt; he put on his working jacket and examined himself in the mirror. He opened his stateroom door and put on his ships ball cap, then checked himself again in the mirror to briefly admire or perhaps just to make sure, the fretting on the bill of his hat was there, and bright. As he headed down the officers country passage way Mr. Mormus stepped into the passage way and asked, “So, what’d he have to say?” The
Captain smirked and gestured with a raise of his hand and pointing his finger, not unlike an orchestra conductor bouncing his finger to the metronome, and told
the X.O., “I’ll let you know after I talk with him.” and he continued down to the quarterdeck.
In the chiefs mess the Command Master Chief, CMC
Hauldbalm, looked around at the chiefs seated in the mess waiting for the captain and said, “I think he may have something else going on…go to work; I’ll call you back here if he makes it.”
When the captain arrived on the quarterdeck it was nearly the end of the workday. He answered the phone, “This is captain
Artimus.” The squadron commander Admiral Dufsin replied, “I can tell you’re a busy man captain, what I don’t understand is why you are not yet underway. I have it on good authority the icy conditions have not changed.” Captain Artimus said with a subtle sarcastically inquisitive tone, “I wonder…who that might be?” ADM. Dufsin replied, “That would be… ahh, look captain
whatever you’re going through today, just get over it. And regarding your apparent paranoia the ship across the pier from you is also in my squadron and they have actually suffered hull damage from this cold. Get it underway.” Captain Artimus glanced across the pier at the ship there and said, “I’ll get it done admiral.”
Captain Artimus hung up the phone and yelled across the pier to the quarterdeck watches aboard the USS Ingraham,
“Hey! Is there something wrong with your hull?” They answered back calling out, “Yes sir. We have a crack right around a sea water pipe and it’s below sea level. They told us you guys were getting underway so yours doesn’t crack too.”
Captain Artimus called back, “Let your captain know we’re leaving now, and I wish him the best of luck.” Those watches aboard the Ingersol yelled back, “I’m sure he’ll appreciate that, sir.” Boatswains mate third class petty officer Brock, standing
POOW placed his hand in front of his face scratching his nose and whispered into his sleeve, “I don’t think that came out the right way…” and then asked the captain as he left the quarterdeck, “Should we announce ‘set the special sea and anchor detail’ sir?” The Captain appearing somewhat agitated said, “No, we’ll call it from the bridge.”
Combat Information central was knee deep in overdue preventative maintenance and many of the ships communication systems had been taken offline and tagged out in accordance with electrical safety procedures of NAVOSH which is the navy’s mockup of occupational safety and health administration.
The duty combat systems officer was in a near panic when he heard there was to be an emergency underway and in his panic he actually said, “We’ll have to reschedule it.” Captain Artimus was quoted by many sailors present within CIC and just outside
the door as saying, ‘we should have rescheduled your lobotomy’.
Over the 1MC from the bridge the Captain announced,
“This is the Captain, we have a weather related emergency and we are to set sail as soon as possible. Many of you are preforming preventative maintenance and have systems tagged out. We need to restore those systems immediately. There may be a small craft stuck in the weather, a civilian sailboat with a family including young children the coast guard cannot currently reach. This is one of those moments life affords you to prove your valor. Let’s get those tags cleared and underway. That is all.”
Mr. Mormus stepped onto the bridge and looked at the captain with a degree of concern but then saw a familiar facial response. He then asked the captain, “Friends of yours
Captain?” The captain replied, “Ya, it’s the USS My Career.”
Mormus laughed and said, “Ya I think I saw that one sail by.” as he took his seat in the X.O.’s Bridge chair. The captain smiled then glanced out the bridge windows and looking back at Mr.
Mormus he made an exaggerated gesture of ensuring his pants zipper was all the way up.
Seamen Ebony Allick a member of the deck division and of the special sea and anchor bridge crew stepped onto the bridge; she was apparently suffering from cold shock and wasn’t wearing a jacket. She grabbed the 1MC mic from its hook in the overhead and keyed the mic, “Now set the special sea and anchor detail.” Captain Artimus smiling a huge grin looking over at the X.O. pointed at her with his arm just raised at the elbow and he and the X.O. let out a spasm of laughter and giggles again. And the game was on. Mr. Mormus asked her with a laugh, “On whose order?” Ebony responded, “On his”
pointing back to the captain. The captain replied, “Since when?”
Ebony retorted, “Since…okay, on BM3 Brock’s order.” The
X.O. shrugged his shoulders gesturing as though ‘I guess we have to do it then’ and the Captain said, “Damn that guy’s a slave driver.” Mr. Mormus asked, “Allick, how do you get you’re her so straight?” Ebony responded, “I use a straightener” as she ran her fingers over her head checking for stray hairs.
Captain Artimus asked, “Is it electrically safety checked?”
Ebony rolled her eyes and said, “It’s a chemical...sir.”
As the rest of the bridge crew took their stations the
Captain said, “I guess we are getting underway. Quarter master…did the engineers clear their tags?” To which QM2
Koleson responded, “I’d be surprised if those Neanderthals could write their own names, let alone read a tag out sheet.” The deck officer Mr. Deakson interjected, “Still pissed off that they proved you couldn’t find ‘labia majora’ on a map or recognize it if you were looking right at it?” And everyone on the bridge laughed. The Captain laughed and leaned in looking at the quarter masters eyes as he became enraged and asked, “What’s this then?” Koleson replied, “You ask that every time we get underway…do I really have to tell this story every time?” The captain laughed again and the X.O. said, “You change it a little every time you tell it.” To which the Captain added, “We just want you to know where that is in case it’s ever relevant.”
Over the squawk box came the word, “Bridge, Central control; engineering is manned and ready.” QM2 Koleson went to the Squawk box and keyed it, “Central, Bridge…Manned and ready aye.” The captain sat in his chair and struck his usual leisurely pose. Ltjg. Deckly went out to the bridge wing to observe the mooring lines being pulled in and the shore power
cables as well as the fresh water and sewage hoses being removed.
At the Aft shore power connection on the fantail EM1
Haydel was disconnecting the shore power with the assistance of a few other electricians’ mates. “I wonder why where getting underway this late…” said Fireman Ruaza. Haydel responded,
“Just to make sure I have a crap day.” Ruaza laughed as he moved the disconnected shore power cables back to the pallet and tied them down. Ruaza said, “We getting another gyno today, Haydel?” She paused from her work to flip him off and said, “Just me; but your welcome to join in.”
Branson was walking the weather deck forward from the fantail and warned Seamen Melad, “Don’t slack the mooring lines to much, the engineers are still screwing around.” Melad glanced at her line and retorted, “I’ll leave it like this. Which ones are screwing around now?” Branson said, “The HT’s can find a spanner wrench to disconnect the sewage line, they said they’ve already closed the valves and can’t discharge to the sea yet…so we’ll be full of shit in no time.” As Branson lingered, glancing at the remaining mooring lines Melad asked, “Did A- gang get the fresh water disconnected?” Branson dismissively replied, “Ya, those guys work.” and with that Branson proceeded forward to the foc’sle.
The crane boom swang ‘round to the fantail to pick up the pallet with the shore power cable ends tied to it. As Haydel and
Ruaza discussed the finer points of Murphy’s Law, and the line handlers on the pier were anxiously waiting for the ship to get underway so they could get out of the cold. It was a swarm of pea coats on a snowy white backdrop, all befuddled by the cold.
The Icicles hanging from the aft five inch gun barrel, mount 52, was a testament to how cold it really was, sailors daunted by the
concept of getting underway just at th
e end of the workday because it was too cold to stay in port. With red noses and shivers they would claim, “This isn’t cold.” an accurate depiction of the impetuousness of youth.
From the bridge wing the deck officer called in to the captain seated in his chair, “All lines are away, sir.” The captain replied, “Okay.” The conning officer retorted, “Very well, all lines are away, aye.” The captain responded, “Conn. one third ahead, take her as she goes.” He then paused a moment and added, “I’ll be in my stateroom.” As he left the bridge SN Allic commented, “He’d going to sleep earlier than usual and in his rack instead of his chair?”
As the ship pulled away from the pier there was the usual low rumble with the ship being so shallow, the wake behind the ship splattered throwing around white foamy water and creating whirl pools that danced in pirouette around the pier stanchions dodging observation until the wake drags them further out to sea where they dissipate. From the steam lines on the pier fog rolls under the pier and the air flow pattern is visible; tunnel like swirls that match those beneath the water there in the wake.
Over the 1MC was the word was passed, “Shift colors…underway” As the bridge watch was turned over to the oncoming watches, a process that took about ten minutes the word ‘secure from special sea and anchor detail’ was passed.
For the duration of the special sea and anchor detail Gsm3 Mitch
Hackel had been at the oil distribution box in the event of hydraulic failure of the pitch control system of the controllable reverse pitch propeller he would be called upon to take manual control. That station was notorious for finding the watch asleep,
Hackel as well as myself suffered from sleep disturbance
leaving that watch station to us. We alternated every time we set sea and anchor to prevent fantasies of suicide.
Mitch walked up the steep ships stairwells referred to by sailors as ‘ladders’ and went to the boiler flat to find FN. Nueme looking for rags to preform ‘wipers’ a wiping down of the ships machinery throughout the aft engine room. “Hey, Hootie” she said to Mitch, “you seen any rags?” Mitch took a rag out of his pocket and tossed it at her. She caught it and checked it for stains then laughed and said, “Thanks but that isn’t enough.