by Robert Lyon
“She has to work like everyone else.” Hauldbalm asked, “At what?” Hudlow replied, “More stills, another fishing boat with more nets and eventually a boat to get us outta here in case the one we’ve heard about fails.” Hauldbalm was surprised and apologetically asked, “Nothing about giving blow jobs?”
Hudlow replied, “In a pig’s eye.” Then Gillis was carried off and Ebony asked, “Then why a king?” and Hudlow responded,
“So you do what I say.” to which chief Dotz interjected, “Why
you?” and Hudlow smiled and said, “Because I’m the king…no more questions. Everyone rest.” They were stunned, no one knew what the hell he was thinking, but then the second waves of attackers came and Hudlow and his hooligans took them out as well. Monica and Francesco walked up afterward and Hudlow took a fighting stance and the said, “Ahh…king Hudlow, where do you want us? We think this probably will work better.”
Hudlow replied while pointing to his hooligans, “Go over there, but stay out of the fight until I know I can trust you.” They nodded and said okay and sat next to Chris Marcy, who greeted them with a, “Hey guys!” This exchange of violence and individuals and groups joining Hudlow’s monarchy went on for days.
The Woodenpeg had been following patches of calm water all the while. The sun had been setting fast but on the fourth day after the storm the captain was on the deck on watched it set on the starboard side. They had been headed south. The plan when they left new homeport island was not their own; but, it was to head northeast.
Artimus stroked the till to port until his heading was now headed north, he trimmed in the triangular sheet of the sail until it was no longer filling from behind but like an airplanes wing it was using the Bernoulli principle.
As Atrisia came up from below Dave said, “Hold this course.” and Atrisia took the till. The watch rotations had gone fairly smoothly which was a bit ironic since the destroyers watch rotation made it seem as though everyone had retired, and were still doing the job just for fun.
The storm clouds had dissipated, and a streak of white stratus cloud was drawn across the sky. If that cloud had eye’s it would have since a wary crew upon a stout ship, headed into the
unknown. The ship was lost within an island chain and headed to another spit of land uninhabited by man, that would be its next stop on the journey we call life.
Chapter Fifteen
Recompense
Three years later, on New Homeport Island the tower construction had been completed, but due to a storm the upper section had collapsed and we were repairing it. The hill top cistern had also been completed with the aid of the balloon crane.
The farm was flush with sorghum and the leeches were cultivated. Bread production had increased to full sized loaves but the quality suffered so they were reduced back to the size of two hands side by side.
King Hudlow continued to rule over the former militants on what we now referred to as the lower island. We on the upper island had established reliable systems of survival and entertainment. We were rebuilding our tower and its collapse was a slow disintegration we actually sat back laughing and cheering wondering how much would come down and what changes to make to the design.
We were planning a stone building to use as a ‘temple’ which would be a hospital, a school, and a vacation resort. In order to learn this type of stone building we were creating stone homes. In cutting and chipping away stone more lime stone was revealed and we need not stop until unable to make cement.
We had made a cobblestone road from the tower to our town, which was once just our camp. The perspective from our hot air balloon had shown us all the potential for the island and we still relied upon the tower to chart the weather. In truth it seems we became complacent, we just accepted our new home.
We had our own society and culture, something about becoming accustomed to a shadow puppet theater rather than television had really changed the way we thought about a lot of things. With the ocarina and drums music had been written that absolutely replaced electric guitars and scratching vinyl sounds.
We were inspired by the beautiful amongst us and felt protected by the intelligent. In Hudlow’s kingdom of the lower island they seemed to feel both protected and inspired by their king, perhaps even loved.
Every full moon and new moon which we tracked on our sundials almanac circle was cause for a celebration. We launched our paper lanterns in the hopes it would reach someone. They were marked with our story and a plea for rescue.
King Hudlow was brought to tears because he understood attempting to get help by a hot air balloon that we had made on the island was little more than a ridiculous way to die.
The ranching of the boar had become stable and leather scraps were sewn together with leather bindings. We had reserved a section of trees and plants to ensure we didn’t run out of wood; even if we ran low on everything but fresh water.
Our island way of life included the segmented sleep that our one time corpsman, now the king’s royal aid, had preached for. She also advocated the drinking of urine which since, fresh water was being made, we took to be just a bizarre fetish of hers.
We expected her to be a hygienist of all sorts, personal hygiene,
food hygiene, guarding against trench foot with a particular focus on our feet, instead she seemed to trend in the other direction, ‘dirt don’t hurt.’ She believed she had magical powers and referred to herself as the king’s sorceress. Simply put the king ‘discouraged’ this saying, ‘they’ll just think you’re crazy you stupid bitch’ resulting in her developing mysterious ways.
What had been the enlisted club was now a sports arena, no gatherings of that size were allowed without the king or his royal guard present. To refer to them as his ‘merry men’ was, by the edict of the king, a request to be regaled with stories of ‘the one time.’
At sea the sail rippled in the breeze and snapped as though it were a flag in gale force winds. ‘Flag Dave’ was just upon the horizon. Dave wore his re-commissioning pennant of a dungaree sleeve around his neck; they had gone from island to island throughout the nearby island chain. He felt he had earned the title ‘Adventurous soul’ but to the best of anyone’s knowledge there was no such title.
Atrisia’s feminine masculinity had been amplified by their experiences and watching Smity turn into a whining bitch. Cabin boy was ‘of age’ now and was no longer afraid to ask for what he wanted, nor afraid to go out and get it. Eric became lord of the tree houses, and George admitted he was just in it for the pussy, which he rarely got. Mike found god on one of those islands, he found that ‘a rewarding life is rewardingly led’…which only made sense to him and possibly an old world pirate chaplain.
They dashed brazenly across the sea as if to challenge angels to grow up and be men, in their stolen boat with their stolen fate. Atrisia sprung forward leaning in and with all the
excitement of a sixteen year old boy seeing bare female breasts for the first time, pointed and yelled, “Is that a tower!!!???”
Dave swung around and heard a karate movie sound effect as he turned, which inspired the kung fu look on his face. Once the island was fully visible over the rolling waves they noticed the hot air balloon which was still somewhat inflated. With the net crossed the top; we found it becomes tangled if not handled right so we used the regular crane to tie supporting lines to it.
Dave lung forward and yelled out with a ferocity, “Land
Ho!!” something he had never voiced and after years of navigating an island chain devoid of any human presence they had given up on the practice entirely.
Cabin boy asked excitedly, “I wonder if they have public nudity?” Artimus smiled back at him ecstatic with glee and said,
“That one island sure did.” Atrisia said, “I just can’t wait to see a roll of toilet paper…and tampons.” Eric interjected, “Me too.”
As they headed in, they reminisced about all the islands they had seen and how very different from each other each was though th
ey didn’t realize it at the time. It seemed as though each had its own spirit which solicited its own mood. It was as if some were Mariachi band and others were punk rock, at least one was a La Bamba rendition.
Artimus laughed and asked, “You remember that one island with the trees?” and they all laughed. Atira asked George, “Who did you think those trees were again?” George didn’t even wince but Smity interjected, “Our white ancestors.” Eric asked, “How
‘bout the one with the berries.” Mike groaned, “We were sick for a week!” George said, “The boar were good.” Wildly smiled widely and grabbed Dave in a loving embrace and said, “Ya, your my hero.” Smity interjected, “Ya, once again thank you for
saving my life.” Dave kissed Wildly and looked over at Smity and replied, “Just don’t let it happen again.”
They started sing “Born to be an American”, but couldn’t remember the lyrics. It became a murmur of hums with some odd words thrown it. So Dave started singing a song he could remember… “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame bun.” and they broke out into a chorus until Dave rang in with the, “At McDonald’s it’s big mac time for you!”
As the boat closed in it was noticed. King Hudlow of the lower island, the senate and governor of the island republic were waiting on the shore. King Hudlow entourage were carrying stick and the King carried his ‘heavy scepter’ The hunters from the republic were ready in the background with slings and arrows as well as spears.
Once they were close enough we heard their chorus, the senate looked at the monarchy and the monarchy return the look of confusion. As governor I signaled our hunters to fall back and
King Hudlow had his entourage reduce the size of their gathering as well as drop their sticks. He however started smacking his scepter in his palm.
The Woodenpeg ran hard a ground into the sand, and her crew deliriously happy leapt from her decks. The Captain began to speak with, “We are so glad to see you we were stranded…”
Atrisia interjected, “Where’s the bathroom?” and Artimus continued, “...on an island we built this boat and anything you might have…a phone, maybe another boat? We need to get back.” Ludlow raised one eye brow and looked at the way he was dressed then at his tan and asked in a strange slur of dialect,
“Get back where?” Atriums replied, “Oh, umm America”
Athena was instantly angered but stopped herself from saying anything and nudged me. Hudlow’s cudgel started twirling under his hand with a rotational swing. I mimicked
Hudlow’s accent and asked, “Is this all your crew?” George responded, “Ya, it’s a small boat.” Hudlow again with the same accent replied, “No one left on an island then?” Artimus said with exhaustion, “We’ve been on many islands in this area and there is no one.”
Hudlow turned to me and said free of an accent, “I want the captain.” I replied, “He’s yours, after an interview we may give you all of them.” Hudlow turned and said, “My merry men, take the captain.” Atrisia erupted, “Bathroom! Do you speak
English? Bathroom!”
I looked at her and calmly said, “Wells we have a bathroom for you alright.” She snickered, “Well…good, I mean oh shit!”
Smity collapse into tears muttering to himself, “It’s the same island, it’s the same island.” Wildly said, “And we just said there is no one back on any island.” I looked at Wildly and he chocked a little, then he blurted out, “As fucked up as this going to sound, the captain and I are romantically involved;
Permission to go with him?” I replied, “Check with the kings guard over there.” and pointed at some of the lingering merry men. Scott Strutsman was there and he replied, “A lot of weird shit Lyon, but ya, we’ll take him. Glad you got your boat back.”
I responded, “Thanks dude.”
We took the thieves Johann, Wells, Smity, Milson, and
Elper into custody and brought them to the courtyard.
Johann took one look around and started trembling; I stood with the senate behind me. Johann demanded, “I’m a god damn senior chief Lyon!” I replied, “And, I am the governor and behind me stands the senate.” He was holding back the tears as
he asked, “Then what’s this shit about a king?” I replied, “We were separate when you stole the boat and left two years ago.
Hudlow had to fix things down there, we’re just deferent people.
But, over here it’s a republic.” Atrisia asked in disbelief, “What the fuck does that mean?” Athena interjected, “It means you’re going to stand trial for theft of our only means of rescue…”
Michelle interjected, “That’s right you fucking bitch.” Smity smirked and he said, “I guess things haven’t changed.” and looked around at his remaining crew smugly. The Jane Spayner stepped forward and said, “Things have changed a lot, and what you believed was happing over there was bullshit.” Smity was taken back; there were commissioned officers on the ‘other side of the island’ now. Milson stood as though he were at attention.
I looked over at Jane and said, “Jane, because of your previous position will you please utter the word, ‘Report’?” She looked away from me and at Eric Milson and said, “I order you to report.”
As there story unfolded, I looked back to Tim and said,
“Tim, sounds like there may be new seed on the boat.” Tim jumped and ran to the boat saying, “I’m on it” as he went.
Tommi and Joseph were listening and Tommi was on josephs lap as Milson gave a sequential explanation as to what happened. Smity got a smug ‘I got you’ smile on his face and asked, “Should they be sitting like that?” I replied sharply,
“They don’t owe you any presentation, they’ll sit as they like and you will avoid offending your hosts.” Smity’s smile fled from his face, that behavior was something he had since childhood but never questioned; now he realized he thought he had gained the upper hand on a breach of etiquette, but he had no entitlements this was not his culture or his land.
Milson and Spayner sat with the senate explaining all the islands. Tim returned and said gleefully, “Hey Rob, we got all kind of seeds no some I don’t even recognize, they were just eating and shitting all over in there!” Time continued with a more concerned tone, “But, we gotta’ clean up that boat man, I mean they were shitting all over the place in there. And maybe another sail or two” he paused and continued again in good cheer, “but, the thing worked!” Kim walked up and said, “I’ll clean the boat.” Tim responded, “Ya, but you got to find the seeds man.”
Hudlow spoke with his royal council he said, “There punishment should either be death or something kingly, like some riddle they have to figure out and preform.” Tinnel asked,
“Like the golden fleece?” Hudlow replied with a blank look,
“Ya, why not.”
Jane was taking the depositions of the accused, and they seemed reluctant about their stories. A nearby island chain, all uninhabited she found hard to believe. She had still believed in the captain in station and in principle until he had left. But personally and in his social relations she found him to be a
‘bitch’. When he claimed rescue could only be thrown off by some sort of military engagement she had believed him, and once again she suspected that might be the case. Could he have returned to find an apocalyptic hellscape only to return and conceal it? Hiding himself and his crew from a war or a failed war?
‘So how did you survive?’ was a reoccurring question for her. Knowing their answers hadn’t satisfied her, their answers changed. It was the way the Woodenpeg held together, it was the islands they found, it was Captain Artimus, it was God.
Eric finally answered in a narrative. Eric said, “It was the third island we had found. We saw movement in the brush and we thought we had found people. Wildly rushed in and so many bushes moved we were startled. It was like the plants were alive or something…well, of course they were alive I mean like man eaters. All down the island the plants curled an
d swayed like a wave; it wasn’t the wind. We stepped off the boat, your
Woodenpeg…sorry, and we just heard so much movement someone had to be there. But it was just the plants. Atrisia followed Wildly in and as soon as she stepped through the brush dust flew up from everywhere and the plants swayed again.
Atrisia was wrapped in thorns and just yelled out ‘aww fuck’…so, I went over there. She only had on a bikini she made out of the sail that tore, not your guy’s fault…but it tore, and she’s wrapped in these thorny branches. So I was like, ‘Hey, you stupid bitch…why’d you jump into the bushes?’ you know? And she was like, ‘I fell’ and I was like, ‘You’re a dizzy bitch’…so you know, I got her out of the thorns and we were like both you know, ‘Where’s cabin boy’ because that’s what we call him.
And the Captain was like, ‘Nothin’ better be messin’ with my bitch!’ cause you know their totally together now, but anyways he runs in there and there’s a big as boar in their like ready to gnaw you know?”
Jane replied, “Okay, so…let’s just hit the points, like just the facts…shit, you’ve got me doing it. Avoid the word ‘Like’ alright?”
Eric continued, “Okay. So the Captain froze for a second, we thought. Turned out he was keeping that big ass thing from attacking because it like, sorry, because it didn’t know what to think. But the senior chief Johann rushes in there and is … throwing rocks at and that just brought more of them out. Damn
thing didn’t even flinch. So the Captain just says Johann, ‘you stupid fucking thing’ and Johann just walks backward and nearly knocked the captain down. Wildly’s like been tackled by this monster boar and every once in a while it runs in circles while on top of him and it’s just kickin’ his ass, right? So, Dave forgets about all these other bitches and he’s just totally after his bitch…you know? Not like Wildly’s his bitch, but like the boars gonna’ be his bitch…but Wildly is totally his bitch, but anyways. So, the captain totally bounces one of these rocks off the boars head and it just stands there, the rock on the other hand the captain catches and does that shit again, and again. The fucking boar is just sittin’ there and it’s like those other boar are just stunned you know? It’s like damn dad’s hard headed or some shit you know?”