by Sarah Noffke
Maybe it’s because he’s a treble maker, Lunis offered, glamoured to look like a Fed Ex truck as Sophia did surveillance on the grounds.
She gave her a dragon a murderous stare, but that only seemed to encourage him as he snickered back at her. “I think he’s considered more of a popstar and actor than a musician.”
What? he asked. You don’t know. He might be into classical music.
Sophia lowered her chin, preparing herself for the nonsense that was sure to follow. “Oh really? You think we’re recruiting Zac Efron for this mission because he’s a composer in the classics?”
Lunis shrugged. Maybe. It could be because baby got Bach.
“An angel just died from the worst pun ever,” Sophia stated.
The dragon shook his head. Bad puns don’t kill angels. If they did believe me, you’d be responsible for killing them all.
“Regardless, I don’t need any more input from you on this subject,” she told him dryly.
Really? he asked. So you don’t think we need Zac because he’s too hot to Handel.
“Please stop,” she encouraged.
Oh fine. Those who don’t like music puns have my symphonies.
Sophia groaned. “You’re the worst. Like literally the worst.”
Why thank you, he said, bowing slightly and looking proud.
“Okay, well will you keep an eye out for me?” Sophia was planning out her way onto the grounds. There was a guard station at the front of the driveway and apparently a few others throughout the property but the real concern was this Ramy guy. Sophia wasn’t sure what to expect and was preparing for another giant like she met at the top of the beanstalk.
Sure, Lunis answered. I’ll watch your Bach.
Sophia paused. “On second thought, I think you should work on your jokes instead.”
By work on them, do you mean I should repeat them in your head and we’ll tweak them until they are perfect? Lunis questioned.
Sophia shook her head. “No, I think we should play the quiet game while I’m in Zac Efron’s house. A melodramatic groan will get me caught.”
Or a side-splitting chuckle, which is more likely, Lunis corrected.
“We’re talking about your jokes, right?” she questioned.
Lunis dismissed her with a wave of his clawed foot. Go on then. I’ll watch and pop in and save you when you are moments away from getting chopped in two.
Sophia blinked at him. “I’m going into a movie star’s house. Not a serial killer’s.”
Lunis pursed his lips. Be ready for anything, Soph. You don’t know anything about this Ramy. He could be a bomber.
Sophia rolled her eyes. “Let’s hope the only thing he’s bombed is a photo.”
Okay, well hurry up, Lunis encouraged. I have a Zoom call with an agent.
She gave him a warning look. “You’re not allowed to go into show business. You’re a dragon.”
He looked away suddenly. Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
“Oh, angels above,” Sophia grumbled, shaking her head at her dragon.
This is just like that episode of Friends, Lunis related.
“No. No, it’s not,” Sophia cut in.
You didn’t let me finish, Lunis protested.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing you could say would make this like a sitcom about six singles living in New York City,” Sophia stated.
He sighed. Well, you have to have a bit of imagination, excuse me very much. The Gullington is the coffee shop, Central Perk. I’m Joey because I’m friendly and more attractive than all my friends.
“Who am I?” Sophia dared to ask.
You’re Gunther, he answered at once.
“Because I’m not one of the cool kids?”
Because of the hair, Soph. Obviously.
She shook her head at her dragon and backed away, preparing her glamour. “Work on your jokes, Lun. Currently, they might be the death of me.”
You just wait until I’m famous, Lunis warned. Then you’ll be sorry.
She nodded. “I’m sure I will. Until then, I’ll be Bach.”
Chapter One Hundred Nineteen
Ordinary Joe was stationed at the guard hut by the gated driveway. He was bidding on some X-Men Wolverine claws on eBay when Sophia checked on him. She probably could have strolled right past him and he wouldn’t have noticed. She wasn’t leaving anything to chance so she kept herself glamoured and snuck over the wall that surrounded the property.
The grounds of Zac’s place were pristine with a rolling grassy lawn, large towering trees and a shimmering pool that spread out in front of the mansion. At first glance, it appeared the rest of the guards were off for the night which meant Sophia only needed to get past this Ramy guy.
Unlike with the guard in the hut, she couldn’t just sneak by him. According to her sources at the brownie official headquarters, Sophia needed to get Ramy’s blessing to get Zac’s cooperation. She guessed they had a Whitney Houston, Kevin Costner sort of relationship—in a purely platonic way. Still, it didn’t sound like Zac did anything without Ramy signing on. Sophia thought she’d need Zac’s compliance. She didn’t want to just force him on the mission or it could get way more complicated.
Stealthily, Sophia ran around the property avoiding being seen by any of the groundskeepers or waitstaff. It was on the second pass she noticed a figure standing outside of what she thought was most likely the master bedroom on the second floor. That had to be where Zac was and the figure must be none other than Ramy, the fierce bodyguard.
After breaking into ancient Hindu temples, a cyborg’s pirate ship and a top-level magitech facility, trespassing into a mortal’s home seemed like a piece of cake.
What kind of cake? Lunis asked in Sophia’s head, making her laugh out loud abruptly.
I don’t think it matters, she replied, scaling the side of the mansion.
It totally counts, Lunis argued. Evan and I agree on very few things, but one of them is that carrot cake needs to stop being a cake.
Sophia nodded as she climbed the lattice alongside the house, careful to stay out of sight of a housekeeper dusting the vases inside. The sun setting on the grounds was making her job slightly easier since the bright Southern California sun was streaming through the glass doors, making anyone who looked out have to squint.
I agree fruit should be left off dessert, Sophia related. Although according to many I’ve spoken to, that’s not a popular opinion. Apparently to these people strawberries belong on desserts.
Lunis clicked his tongue. This world is full of people with wrong opinions, my dear Soph. Those people are a great example of that.
Anyway, Sophia continued as she neared the balcony to the master bedroom. This is as easy as chocolate cake.
I’ve never made a chocolate cake, but I like the idea you think it’s easy to make one, Lunis said, a dreamy quality to his voice. When you get back since it’s so easy, will you make me one?
Sophia chuckled to herself. No, but I’ll ask Lee at Crying Cat Bakery too.
No, thanks, Lunis replied. I’d prefer not to ingest cyanide.
Lee wouldn’t poison you, Sophia argued.
Of course not, he said sounding insulted. I’m delightful and have amazing jokes. You, on the other hand…I’m surprised you’ve made it this long.
She shook her head and hopped over the railing to the balcony and slid up against the bricks to the house. You know, Lun, why do I keep you around?
Because I’m an amazing and brave dragon who constantly saves the day, he answered.
Sophia grinned and prepared to storm into the mansion since the element of surprise was always to her advantage. No. It’s because I’d really like a new pair of boots.
Oh, really…he growled.
Yeah, but I haven’t found the right shoemaker, she replied.
Let me guess, he said dryly, you’re looking for someone who is an expert at dealing with dragon hide, right.
She laughed. If the shoe fits, Lunis…I’ll wear it.
>
Chapter One Hundred Twenty
“You’re all I have,” a guy said, his back to the balcony doors as Sophia snuck through after using a rudimentary spell to unlock them. The man wasn’t wearing a guard’s uniform and for a moment, she thought she’d entered the wrong set of rooms.
He had brown curly hair with a tweed cap pulled down over it and as far as Sophia could tell, he was wearing a sweater vest over a pullover button-down shirt. In front of his chest, as he faced a closed door, he had his fist in front of him.
“As I was saying,” the guy began again. “Zac, you’re all I have. Well, and this song.” The man cleared his throat before he started singing. “A million dreams is all it’s gonna take. Oh, a million dreams for the world we're gonna make—”
Sophia cleared her throat, strangely feeling bad about witnessing this one-sided show of affection.
The dude froze, his jazz hands spread out beside him as he bent his knees, telegraphing his next move which she suspected was a low lunge. Instead, the guy straightened and dropped his hands. He turned to face her, his eyes narrowed.
“Who are you?” he asked, looking her up and down. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
She pointed at the open door behind her. “Through there.”
“It’s locked,” he argued.
“For most,” she agreed. “I’m not most though. I’m Sophia Beaufont, a rider with the Dragon Elite and I’m obviously in the wrong place.”
He gave her a rude expression. “You sure are, unless you came to a place where you want to get your ass handed to you.”
Sophia nearly laughed as she looked Sweater Vest over. “Um. Nah, I’m good. I was just looking for Ramy. Is he on the first floor? Guarding Zac outside the home recording studio?”
The guy narrowed his eyes at her. “You got one thing right today, but too bad for you, it’s the day of your funeral. I’m Ramy. Where do you want to be buried?” He punched his fist into his open palm while giving her a menacing glare.
To Sophia’s ultimate amusement, the guy seemed to have hurt himself when he punched his own hand. He tried to cover it up as he shook out his palm and put his hand back beside his leg. “Hey Ramy. Great meeting you. I’ve heard great things.”
“From whom?” he demanded, cutting her off.
“From people you don’t know,” she replied at once.
He scoffed. “I know everyone. Was it Lady Gaga? Brittany? Martha—”
Sophia shook her head. “No, you seriously don’t know my sources, but they had good things to say…albeit a bit inflated.” Although Sophia didn’t know how the brownies misconstrued this guy as a threatening source of power, she assumed that to a tiny house-elf, Ramy might seem scary. From the little she’d witnessed, he had an intimidating stage presence. Sophia wondered what else the brownies got wrong about him, this supposed intimidating bodyguard.
He had gone quiet studying her with a calculating gaze. Sophia decided this was the perfect time to use her negotiation skills since she’d prefer not to break his nose or any of Zac’s modern furniture
“So I just need to see Zac,” she began, pointing at the door at Ramy’s back. “Is he in there?”
“No!” Ramy yelled, just as a man’s voice echoed through the door.
“Don’t you wanna get away to a whole new part you’re gonna play,” a man who sounded just like Zac Efron sang from the other room. “’Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride to the other side.”
For a moment, Ramy looked lost in the music, his eyes growing dreamy.
“It’s weird,” Sophia cut in, trying to bring Ramy back to the land of the living. “That sounds just like Zac Efron in there.”
“That is strange,” the guy said, doing a terrible job of lying. “T-Th-That’s Alfred the butler. He always sings while polishing the silver.”
“Bizarre that you all keep the silver in the bathroom,” Sophia observed, sniffing the air and smelling soap.
“That’s not the bathroom,” Ramy argued. “It’s the dining room.”
“On the second floor?” Sophia questioned and looked around at the bed in the corner. “Just off the bedroom like most modern homes in Beverly Hills. That makes sense.”
Ramy nodded. “It’s a new thing. It’s totally in. That way the movie stars can roll out of bed and get a sandwich.”
“Genius,” Sophia said, starting forward. She’d decided she’d had enough of this show. “I’m just going to go ask Zac if he can help me out with something.”
Ramy held up his hand attempting to stop her.
She paused, more out of amusement than anything.
“No,” he argued. “You shall not pass.”
“Without squashing you, that’s for sure,” she joked.
“Zac can’t see you,” he stated with confidence.
She had to give it to him, he was doing a great job of trying to keep her away from his charge.
“He can though,” she argued. “ I have a really cool mission for him I’m sure he’ll want to go on.”
“What does it involve?” Ramy asked.
Sophia tucked her chin. “Nothing much. Just recovering a katana, some magic and maybe a tiny bit of danger.”
The guard shook his head and folded his arms. “I can’t condone such a mission.”
“Yeah, but the thing is I need you to endorse it,” Sophia told him.
He continued to shake his head. “There’s no way.”
Sophia pulled her sword halfway out of her sheath. “How about now?”
Ramy didn’t even flinch at the show of power. “Nope. I don’t care if you are a dragonrider, as you pretend to be. I’m not allowing you to endanger Zac.”
Slumping slightly, Sophia rolled her eyes, not liking it had come to this. “Well, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Zac one way or another.”
He shrugged like the loss was all hers. “Too bad, but I don’t know how you plan to do that.”
Sophia actually laughed this time. “I think that’s pretty clear.”
Holding out his arms, he looked around. “How do you mean?”
“Well, I’m me and you’re you,” she stated as though this fully explained her case. “I have a sword and you have mismatched socks. Also, I’m a dragonrider and you’re a fanboy. I think we’ve pretty much settled this, huh?”
He pulled in a breath. “There’s something you haven’t considered, Sophia.”
She blinked at him. “That you’ve lost your mind and the nurse will be in here in a moment to give you your meds?”
Ramy shook his head. “No,” he said, raising his hands over his head. “That I’m a ninja.”
Sophia knew the time for such antics had passed. She needed to get on with things. “Yeah, the thing about ninjas is they usually never announce it. Can I go see Zac now?”
Ramy dropped his hands, looking disappointed. “No. Whatever you’re taking him for, there’s no way I’m allowing it. It could hurt him and anything dangerous that might hurt—”
The scream that ripped out of Ramy’s mouth didn’t really surprise Sophia. She knew Lunis had flown over the gated wall to Zac’s place and stationed himself outside the bedroom.
As she knew, the dragon’s single eye was pressed into the bedroom window behind her, blinking in at the would-be bodyguard. Lunis had even breathed out smoke through his nostrils for effect.
“Dragon!” Ramy yelled. “Mother fu—” He threw up his hands and ran behind Sophia, actually putting himself closer to Lunis, but acting as though she might protect him from the blue dragon busy peering in at them. “There’s a dragon. We have to protect Zac.”
Sophia patted Ramy on the arm and gave him a knowing smile. “No problem. I intend to. Just tell him he’s going on a mission with me.”
Ramy peeled away from her, still giving the dragon at their back a worried expression. “B-Bu- the dragon?”
“He won’t hurt anyone as long as you do as I say,” Sophia warned. “Otherwise,
one word from me and he’ll pillage and destroy.”
Lunis snickered in her head. I’d like to pillage an ice cream shop right now.
Shush, she warned. I’m trying to make a show of you being dangerous and intimidating.
I am, Lunis declared. I just ruined a whole rose bush getting up here. I took no names as I blasted that thing.
You are a fierce and crazy being, she said with a laugh.
Meanwhile, Ramy had hurried off to the bathroom, opening the door without knocking. “Hey, hey, Zac-Monster. I’m going to have to cut bath time short. Something has come up.”
“This better be good,” a voice came from the steamy room that smelled of floral scents.
Ramy glanced out the door at the dragon still lurking outside the bedroom window. “It is. You have my blessing to do this thing while I hold down the fort here.”
Chapter One Hundred Twenty-One
“If there’s a rocket, tie me to it,” Zac answered somewhere in the bathroom. “Otherwise, leave me to my suds. It’s been a long day.”
Ramy’s eyes widened as Lunis puffed out another long trail of smoke. “Thing is, days can get longer. I think you ought to be thinking about getting out of the tub and joining our new friend on a quest.”
“Quest?” Zac questioned.
Sophia decided it was time to take over. She had gotten the endorsement she needed, just not the way she had expected. Abandoning all etiquette, she strode straight into the man’s bathroom but kept her eyes up just in case.
In her peripheral vision, she could tell the star was mostly submerged in bubbles in a bath. His neck, head and shoulders were all that were visible.
“Excuse me,” Zac protested at the sight of her.
“She has a sword,” Ramy stated, pointing at her sheath. “Also a dragon. I think the dragon is of most concern because she hadn’t used the sword yet but has kind of sort of used the dragon.”