by Gordon, Rose
“I suppose there was a lot to see,” Lady Belgrave said with a shrug. She pushed her foot back into her slipper. “Sebastian never told me why Giles was touring for so long, likely because he doesn’t know.” She snorted. “He says he didn’t even know that Giles had a title until the night Mrs. Appleton, the former Lady Norcourt, hosted a dinner party.”
“Do you mind if I ask why your husband toured for so long?” Lucy asked just to make conversation and stave off the impending uncomfortable silence that was threatening to engulf them at any second.
“I’ll be glad to tell you, but you owe me an answer in return,” she said with a grin. Then, before Lucy could retract her question, Lady Belgrave continued. “Surely you’ve read in the scandal sheets about the young lady of common birth who trapped a lord into marriage by posing as her sister during their assignation? I am that young lady and my husband was the lord. The scandal sheets embellished the story a little, but the gist of it is accurate enough. On our return from Scotland, our carriage was in an accident that left me abed for a long while, and spurred by some bullying by both of our fathers, he fled the country.”
“Your father must be quite terrifying to make a man flee so long,” Lucy murmured, tamping down a pang of jealousy. Her father hadn’t even tried to confront or appeal to the man who’d done Lucy wrong. He’d condemned her for her own stupidity and barely spoke to her again.
Lady Belgrave smiled ruefully. “Actually, he is. But I think there was more to it than that. Have you ever done something wrong, and you want to make it right, but so much time has passed that you just don’t know where to begin to make amends? That’s the real reason Sebastian took so long to return. He didn’t know where to start to repair what he’d broken.”
“What brought him back?”
“I came to London to find a new husband. Only I couldn’t marry since he’d never signed the papers. My turn.”
Lucy’s palms grew damp in a second’s time. Lady Belgrave might be a commoner with a few scandals attached to her name, but none were as damning as Lucy’s.
“How do you know Giles?”
The question caught her unawares. She thought Lady Belgrave might ask about Seth’s parentage, not how she knew Giles. Lucy eyed her askance. Why was Lady Belgrave so interested? Did she think Lucy was Giles’ mistress? Suddenly uncomfortable, she quickly explained about Simon’s injuries and sending for Giles.
“Simon asked you to send for Giles?” Lady Belgrave said, her mouth slightly agape.
“He is his brother,” Lucy supplied. She hoped that didn’t sound nearly as unkind to Lady Belgrave’s ears as it had to her own.
Lady Belgrave nodded slowly, her jaw still unhinged. “I’m just surprised that’s all.” She lifted her hand to her hair and idly twisted a fallen lock around her fingers. “I knew Giles had left the house party the day after Simon and Sebastian did, but nobody knew why he left.” She released her hair. “I expected it to be because his mother was driving him mad, not that they’d made amends and were suddenly claiming a relation.”
So much of her last statement echoed Lucy’s perceptions of Giles and his family. Giles and his mother did have a stilted relationship, but it was far more loving than the one he had with Simon. The two didn’t hardly utter a word between them, and looked at the other even less. She bit her lip. Should she ask Lady Belgrave what she knew about this? It was obvious she knew something of the pair. She might also know why Giles was wont to evade his mother, which presumably was the reason Lady Belgrave thought she’d drive Giles to leave the party early.
Loud footfalls coming down the hall ended her chance to ask. Which was probably for the best.
“Ladies,” Lord Belgrave greeted with an overdone yawn and a wink in Lucy’s direction.
“Ready to go?” Giles asked without ceremony.
Lucy and Lady Belgrave exchanged a look. “Of course,” Lucy said, standing.
Lord and Lady Belgrave walked them to the door where Giles’ carriage was already waiting for them. With a quick goodbye and an expression of gratitude for the meal, Lucy hurried to Giles’ carriage. It was silly, she knew, for it was too dark outside for anyone to see and if someone did, they’d never recognize her. Still, deep inside, she felt like a fraud for attending such a dinner with Giles and his friends tonight. Pushing away the thought, she made herself comfortable inside the carriage.
Seth climbed in next and automatically found a seat across from her. Then Giles climbed up and sat next to her, his body touching hers from her shoulder to her knee.
The carriage lurched forward and Giles struck a match. He lit the sconce then blew out the match, a companionable silence engulfing them all.
In the low light, she saw a flash of silver in Seth’s hand. She strained to see. “Seth, is that a flask?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And why do you have it?”
“It’s for drinking.”
“Yes, I know that.” She fought to keep her voice even. “But why do you have one?”
“To drink from.”
Lucy ground her teeth, irritation swelling in her chest. Letting him shave his nonexistent beard was one thing, allowing him to drink whiskey was quite another. “Did you drink from that?”
“The whole thing,” he said proudly.
On the verge of hysteria, she looked at Giles. “You let him drink that whole thing.”
He nodded slowly then leaned close to her. “Don’t tell him, but I filled it with lemonade.”
His words took all the anger right from her being, the air from her lungs, and the resistance of him from her marrow and with nothing holding her back she did the one thing she’d never thought she’d do: she kissed him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Giles went rigid. In every way possible. Lucy was kissing him. It wasn’t one of those long, lippy kisses he’d witnessed while walking down a back alley in Paris. In fact, it wasn’t even on his lips, but rather on his cheek. His cheek that now burned as if she’d touched it with a branding iron.
Her hand found his and she gave him a gentle squeeze. “Thank you.”
He didn’t know what she was thanking him for, but whatever it was, he’d have to do it again if it made her react this way.
The carriage bounced, jarring him from his trance. “Can I come inside?”
Lucy’s hand stiffened briefly in his, then relaxed. “You wish to talk to me?”
“Yes, please.” He squeezed her hand, a memory of the night he’d walked in on her being attacked flashed in his mind. “Only to talk. Don’t be afraid of me.”
“I’m not.”
He held her hand until they reached the library then tried to help her down. He’d had no problem helping her in and out of the carriage before, but this time it was different. In his study, Sebastian had encouraged Giles to tell Lucy exactly how he felt about her. He’d even claimed that he suspected she might feel the same. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have spent the day with him or agreed to go to his friends’ for dinner—even if she’d tried to leave as soon as they arrived. Her kissing him could only be further proof. Now, he just needed to find some way to put his feelings for her into the right words.
Lucy handed Seth the keys and he ran inside, clutching tightly to the trinket Sebastian had allowed him to keep. Giles opened the door for Lucy and followed her inside.
“Thank you for today,” she said, lighting the candles in the candelabra.
“You’re welcome.” He raked his hand through his hair and took a deep, calming breath. Words swirled in his head. “What about tonight?” He cringed. That wasn’t what he’d wanted to say to her.
“You mean having dinner with your friends?” She slid the shawl off her shoulders and started to fold it. “It was enjoyable, too.”
“Enjoyable.”
Her throat worked. “They were very kind to me.”
Something was off. But what could it be? He racked his brain. She’d been uncomfortable when they’d first arrived, but
she’d seemed fine at dinner. In the carriage she’d seemed fine, too. More than fine, even. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been so intimate with him. Had something happened when he’d been away from her? Isabelle had been nothing but kind to him. He couldn’t fathom her being cold to Lucy. “Was Isabelle?”
She made the last fold on the shawl, then removed the brooch and handed them both back to him. “Of course she was. We had a lovely discussion. It’s easy to see why Simon was so upset about losing her.”
Her words were the equivalent of a fist to the gut. Had she been thinking of Simon the entire time they’d been there? Paralyzing embarrassment overcame him, rooting him to the floor. Around him, the room spun. Lucy said something, but he couldn’t make it out. He was a fool. Fire burned in his gut ten times stronger than it had when he was mocked as a boy. He had to leave. Go home. Hide. If only his bloody legs hadn’t turned to lead. He commanded his leg to move and it did. And then his knee buckled and he dropped to the floor.
Or would have if not for Lucy’s arms wrapping around his midsection, holding him up.
“Easy,” she whispered, easing him onto a nearby stool.
He could feel her soft chest pushing against his and almost groaned in aggravation. It wasn’t fair to have such a strong attraction to her. “Thank you,” he grunted, pulling back from her.
“Are you all right? Do you need some water?”
“I’m fine.” He stood and was greeted by her palm meeting his chest. “I need to go home,” he mumbled, encircling her wrist with his fingers and trying to push her arm away as gently as he could.
She didn’t budge. “No.”
“No?”
“No. You said you wanted to talk to me. Surely it wasn’t to ask me what I talked to Lady Belgrave about.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I think it does.” She lowered her hand from his chest and sighed. “Even if it’s not that significant, I think you need to tell me what I said just a moment ago to upset you and make you wish to leave so quickly.”
“I’m not upset.”
She quirked a brow at him. “You have the same expression on your face as you did before you left my cottage in Shrewsbury without breakfast.”
He bridled. She must think him a petulant child. “I was embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed? Whatever for?”
She wouldn’t understand and there was no way he could explain it to her without making it worse. “I need to—”
She pressed her lips to his. “Kiss me,” she murmured against his mouth.
Yes, he needed to kiss her.
And he did.
At first, he merely brushed his lips over hers. Then again. Risking her reaction and his heart, he cupped her face and moved his lips over the top of hers, parting his and surrounding hers. Her lips were soft against his. Smaller and gentle. He liked the feel of her lips against his. Perhaps a little too much. He pulled back, flushing.
If she noticed his erection, she didn’t let on.
“Was there something you wanted to say?”
“I don’t think Simon will like it that I kissed you.”
“No,” she agreed. “He probably won’t, but I don’t plan to tell him.”
Giles stood from where he sat on the stool and took an unsure step back. “I shouldn’t have.”
“I kissed you first,” she reminded him.
“I know, but if you’re to marry Simon—”
Her brow puckered. “Who said I was going to marry Simon?”
“Seth. That’s why he comes to my house. So you and Simon can go to the park or ride horses or go on picnics and such together.”
“I haven’t done any of that with Simon. I went with him once to a museum, that was it.”
“It was?”
She nodded. “When he came to see me after the first time, I declined his offer to take me to the park and told him that we didn’t suit.”
“You did? You don’t?” He had no idea which of those questions he wanted answered more, but was pleasantly surprised when Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his head down toward her as she came up on her toes.
“I did,” she murmured, brushing her lips over his. “And no, we don’t,” she murmured again, kissing him once again.
Elation that she wasn’t in love with his brother as he’d feared shot through him and he placed his hands on her cheeks and kissed her back. Full and thorough this time. Taking time to explore her lips with his.
“I like kissing you,” he blurted when their kiss ended.
She ran the back of her finger across his cheek. “I like kissing you, too.”
His heart slammed against his ribs. “You do?”
“I do.”
“I’d like to do more than kiss,” he admitted. He was certain she’d said something akin to, “I can tell,” in response, but didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking. “Now, isn’t the time though.” It took almost all of the strength he possessed to say that, then the last ounce to step back and separate them.
“No, it’s not,” she agreed, biting her lip. “Giles, I can’t…” She cleared her throat. “I can’t be your mistress.”
“I never asked you to,” he choked out.
“I know you didn’t. But I just wanted to let you know. I can’t. I—I made a mistake in the past and it’s affected my entire life.” She closed her eyes. “And Seth’s.”
His hand found hers and he gave her a gentle tug in the direction of the settee his mother had set out for the comfort of her patrons. He waited for her to sit down, then he joined her. “What happened?” he asked, interlacing their fingers.
“Not a lot. He talked of marriage and even promised he’d formally ask my father. I believed him and allowed him liberties, but he never asked.”
“What did he say about Seth?”
“That I needed to find a new post. He had no wish to glimpse the bastard.” The hitch in her voice tore at his heart.
He brushed a kiss above her brow. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was the one foolish enough to trust him when I knew I shouldn’t. Unfortunately, I was the only one to suffer the consequences.”
“He never relented?”
“No. His brother did though. Before I’d gotten in so far with Seth’s father, his younger brother had asked if I’d marry him since he was soon to be a vicar and thought a wife would be useful, and well, because he’d always loved me. And yes, those were his exact words. Anyway, I’d refused in favor of his brother who I was led to believe loved me in a different way. The real way, the right way, not just as a friend the way I believe Paul loved me.
“After I realized I’d been fooled and understood the extent of the damage I’d done to myself I panicked and in a moment of desperation, I begged Paul to take me back.” She released his hand and buried her face in her palms. A moment later she dropped her hands to her lap and continued. “He refused—which was for the best, but for several years he showed me a greater kindness than I deserved by sending me funds and gifts for Seth.”
“Did he have expectations?”
She released a laugh that held no humor. “No.”
“Then why did he stop?”
“I asked him to. Remember the other day when I mentioned the lady who taught Seth to read with propriety books? She was his wife. Between Seth’s growing tendre for her, the rumors that circulated around the town that suggested her husband was Seth’s father, and Seth’s own curiosity, I realized I couldn’t stay there and I certainly couldn’t allow Paul to keep helping me. That’s how I ended up in Shrewsbury.” She let out a deep exhalation. “I’m sorry, that was far more than you asked about.”
“I’m glad you told me.” And he was.
“Giles?”
He loved the way his name sounded on her lips. “Yes?”
“It’s been a while since we arrived. You should probably go.”
Giles pulled out his pocket watch. They’d been talking—and kissing—for more than a
n hour. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
“About?”
He flushed. “Kissing me.”
Without warning, she leaned in and kissed him yet again. “What do you think?”
That I love you. He swallowed. Hard. “Yes,” he rasped.
“You’re right,” she said, kissing him again. “But you need to go.”
“Right.” He gained his feet and helped her up. “I meant what I said earlier, too.”
“That you like to kiss me?”
“That, too.” He clasped her hands in his. “That you trusted me enough to tell me your past.” He brought their hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I will not ask you for such liberties before marriage.”
“I know.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
It had been three days since Lucy had spent the day with Giles and she secretly hoped he’d invite her to do the same again tomorrow, her next day off. Both Friday and Saturday, she’d allowed Seth to leave at one o’clock and spend the afternoon with Giles as long as Giles didn’t have anything else he needed to accomplish.
Both days, she’d taken it upon herself to go collect her son when she finished with work and both days, Giles had invited her in and stolen a kiss from her in the entryway of his townhouse.
She loved those moments with him, even if the whole encounter only lasted a few moments. It was five moments of bliss she’d gotten to enjoy in two days and with any luck she’d have a similar moment of bliss in a mere—she glanced at the clock—eight hours. She sighed and turned her attention back to the stack of books that had been turned in and needed to be put away.
Around her, Mrs. Appleton hummed as she acted as if she were putting away books when really she was just moving them from one place to another, probably without even looking at the titles. She was clearly distracted. And excited. She’d been in this very same cheery mood for several days now. Whatever had happened to Mrs. Appleton during her last day off had to have been just as thrilling to her as spending so much time with Giles was to Lucy.