by Rayne, Piper
“What’s going on, Coach Bailey?” JP asks.
Elijah is right behind him with his arm swung over a small brunette. Obviously all is right in their world again.
JP eyes me. “Oh, I gotcha.” He and Elijah fist-bump each other.
Elijah shakes his head. “On school grounds? I thought you’d set a better example than that?”
“If you must know, Principal Radcliffe and I were discussing your final.”
Their amused faces dip into frowns.
“Thank you again for your help, Principal Radcliffe. You had some great ideas I think I’ll put into action.”
“Of course, any time, Coach Bailey.”
I leave the classroom, weaving through a few students, already hearing their whispers. Once the classrooms are filled with students and the halls are empty, I lean against the lockers, catching my breath.
Who the hell am I these days?
Definitely not the Holly Radcliffe I’m familiar with.
But maybe the Holly Radcliffe I’ve always wanted to be.
Thirty-One
Austin
Back home, I try to pick up around the house as best I can before Holly arrives. Sedona and Phoenix are staying at their friend’s house. I don’t really have to worry about Rome—he already knows, plus, it’s Friday. He’ll probably crash at Denver or Liam’s. Brooklyn is with Jeff tonight, Kingston is still out of town, and since Juno is currently his roommate, she’ll be sure to stay home and enjoy having the place to herself. Which should leave Holly and me alone.
“Why won’t you take me with you on your interview?” Phoenix asks.
“Because USC is paying for me to go there. I’m not buying you a plane ticket.”
Phoenix huffs from where she sits on the couch. “I don’t get it. You’re so hell-bent on leaving Lake Starlight because you feel like we stopped you from living your dream, but you won’t let me live mine.”
“First of all, you didn’t stop me.” I grab the food wrappers and put them in the popcorn bowl Rome failed to clean up last night and head to the kitchen, hoping Phoenix will stay in the family room.
No such luck. She follows. “Then why do you want to go to California so bad?”
I toss the kernels and papers in the trash, rinse out the bowl, and put it in the dishwasher. “Because I want to coach baseball at the college level and there’s nothing up here but high school.”
“Because you had to leave all that behind and come home to raise us. I get why you’d resent us, but let me come with you,” she whines.
“Come with me. I’m going to Scotland with Jamison.” Sedona walks in. Ever since she talked with Holly at school, she thinks it’s set in stone that’s she’s going.
“You’re not going.” I point at Sedona. “You’ll go to college, and then you can do whatever you want to do.”
She rolls her eyes, grabs an orange out of the fridge, and leaves the room.
I turn my attention back to Phoenix. “I don’t resent you.”
“I would.” She crosses her arms.
“Well, we’re not the same people.” I spray down the counter.
“Why are you cleaning? Is she coming over here?”
I’m thankful for the change of topic, but not for the way it went.
“Who?” I ask, playing dumb.
“The enemy. I heard all about the fact that she’s Clint Edison’s daughter.”
I roll my eyes. This family is their own gossip wheel. “It has nothing to do with you, and no, she’s not coming over. I’m not even seeing her.”
“Please. I’m not an idiot. Do you know how horrible it is to hear that the two of you are having sex in your classroom? Someone said they found a condom.” Her face distorts.
Mine does too. I wouldn’t do that.
Then again, I really wasn’t thinking when I allowed Holly to blow me. I mean, I wanted her so badly after only one night away from her. What the hell is wrong with me?
“How is that leading by example? I guess it was safe sex, but if I was screwing Pete Wertz in the chemistry lab, I’m sure I’d get expelled.”
“Phoenix, I’m not in the mood for this.” I move from the kitchen back to the family room.
“You’re ruining my life.”
I stop and turn to face her.
She’s thrown herself on the couch next to Sedona, who keeps looking back and forth between us. I remember when they were eight and didn’t fully understand that our parents weren’t coming back. They’d cuddle on the couch and wait for me to invent some game for them to play because I was their fun older brother.
Now they’re on the verge of adulthood. My heart aches for the regular sibling relationship we’ll never have. The one that died with my parents against that tree.
I look at my two youngest sisters, and for the first time, I realize how far they’ve come. They’re not little kids who need me to dictate their every move anymore. They’re old enough to have an idea of what they want out of life. God knows I did when I was their age.
And here I am trying to live my life by leaving Lake Starlight, and I’m dictating what she does with hers. Both of them.
I sit down in the chair next to the couch.
Their eyes widen, sensing the change in my demeanor.
“You’re right,” I say.
“I am?” Phoenix asks.
I run a hand through my hair. “Yeah. I can’t tell you not to live your dream while I leave to chase my mine. I’d like you both to go to college. It’s what Mom and Dad would’ve wanted. If you don’t want to go, that’s fine, but you don’t get your college money until you’re twenty-one. Same rules as Kingston. And you still need a plan for your future—college or not.”
God, that felt good. The agony from the pressure of getting them to attend college lifts. Is this what I’ll feel like in California? Like a thirty-year-old guy instead of a fifty-year-old man?
“Really?” they say simultaneously.
“Yeah. I have to let you make your own mistakes and live with the consequences of your decisions. Or maybe you’ll beat the odds, but either way, me sheltering you isn’t going to make you a better person.” I slap my hands on my thighs, preparing to get up. “So, you girls do as you wish.”
“Are you mad?” Sedona asks.
I turn around. I’ve fought so hard, I see why she’s asking the question, but I’m not.
“No. I just hope you’re making the right decision.” I walk out of the room.
* * *
Holly rings the doorbell at seven o’clock. The girls left at six, and they shouldn’t be returning home. Rome and Savannah are looking at another location for a restaurant, then they’re heading to Lucky’s to meet Denver. Brooklyn came down a half hour ago with an overnight bag, saying she’s staying at Jeff’s for the entire weekend.
I straighten picture frames, hiding the one of my naked butt running through the field behind our house. My mom thought it was the cutest picture and showed it to everyone, so I don’t have the heart to remove it permanently. I’ll put it back tomorrow.
I half jog to the door and spring it open.
“Hey,” she says.
“Hey.” I motion for her to come in before I shut the door.
“So, I can just ring the doorbell and park in the driveway now?” She laughs.
“Don’t worry. My family isn’t around.”
She takes in the interior of the house—picture frames, furniture, draperies. It’s no decorating masterpiece. None of us has touched anything since my parents’ deaths.
“Come in. Do you want a drink?” I ask, heading to the kitchen.
“Sure, whatever you have.”
It’s odd having her here. I didn’t really think about it until now, but she’s the first woman I’ve ever invited into my family’s space. “I have some white wine?”
“Perfect.”
“Head on into the family room and I’ll be right there.”
I pour two glasses of wine then find her on the cou
ch, flipping through one of the magazines sitting on the table. I pass her the wine glass and sit next to her.
“Thanks.” Her lipstick leaves a mark as she sips the wine. She leans back, looking at me as though I’m a stalker. “What?”
“Sorry. It’s just…” I shake my head. “I guess I’m not used to having you alone.”
She tilts her head. “We’re usually alone at my house.”
I nod. “Yeah, I guess.” I grab the remote. “Did you want to watch a movie? Did you eat? I could order something or whip something up?”
She laughs, placing her hand on my knee. “I’m fine and full. This is good.” She brings the glass to her lips.
I blink. What is wrong with me?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks.
I look away. “Yeah, just a long day.”
“I know. My mom being here is…” She tilts her head back and forth. “She wants to be at the next dinner with my dad, which won’t turn out well, I’m sure. I think I’ve convinced her to wait around for me while I meet with him.”
My hand finds hers as though we’re teenagers and I can’t bear not touching her for even a second. “When are you going to dinner with him?”
“Next week. He said he had to go out of town, so next Friday.”
“Oh, I’ll be in Cali for the interview.”
She turns in her seat. “I completely forgot. I’m sorry. With my dad and my mom and the fact my dad is…”
“It’s fine.” I shake my head. “Who knows what will happen?”
“You’re a total shoo-in.” She nudges my shoulder. “Why aren’t you more excited?”
I sip my wine. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, you know?”
“I understand.”
“You wanna hear something I think you’ll find surprising?” I place my wine glass on the table. “I told the girls they can do what they want after high school. I’m not going to try to stand in their way.”
Her eyes widen.
“I know, but damn, it feels good to have that settled.”
“Do you mean it?”
I shrug. “You know, I’ve been so hell-bent on getting my siblings to do what my parents would’ve wanted, I lost sight of the fact that they aren’t here. We don’t really know how they would’ve handled it. I’ve done my best to guide them, but I realize now that their mistakes are theirs to make.”
She kisses me. “You surprise me, Austin Bailey.”
I place my hand on the back of her head, keeping her there for another kiss, and I slide my tongue into her eager mouth.
“Why?” I mumble over her lips.
“Just… I don’t know. You always seem to do what’s right. I mean, how could anyone doubt you should go to California? It doesn’t seem like you’ve ever made a bad decision in your life.” She rests her head on my shoulder.
I open my arms so she can snuggle into my chest. “Sure, I have.”
“Really?” She pokes my stomach. “When?”
I look down at her. I’ve made plenty of bad decisions over the years, and I can only hope this next big life change isn’t another one of them. “Do you think it’s stupid? Me chasing this dream to California?”
She rests her chin on my chest and looks up at me. I tuck a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear. “You’re asking a girl who left Florida to find the father who wanted nothing to do with her. I think there’s a reason why people say you chase your dreams. Dreams don’t knock on your door one day and announce that they’re ready for you.”
“They don’t?” I ask with mirth, staring into her beautiful green eyes.
Her hand reaches up to my cheek. “You deserve to live the life you want.”
I kiss her forehead, and she lays her head back down on my chest.
She gets me. She understands why I need to do this.
I slide down on the couch so she’s lying on top of me, and we turn our attention to some show on the baking channel. My mind couldn’t be further from who makes the better cookie.
Thirty-Two
Holly
I put in my earrings while walking down the stairs to join my mom, who insists on driving me to the restaurant where I’m meeting my father as if I’m fifteen and going on my first date.
“Guess what?” she says, standing in the kitchen with three bags of groceries on the kitchen table.
“What?” I open the fridge, searching through shelves lined with food for a bottle of wine.
“I got a job!”
I whip my head in her direction. “What?”
“I can’t just sit here all day. I mean, you’re busy at the school. I might as well earn a little money.” She unpacks the groceries.
“Where did you get a job?”
“At the diner. I went in and explained my situation, told them about my experience. This man who doesn’t even know me vouched for me. He told Rachel that she could use me during the weekend shifts, and she agreed. I start tomorrow morning.”
“That’s great!”
Go figure my mom has already settled in here. We moved around a lot when I was younger. All in Florida, but I changed schools numerous times, trying to escape neighborhoods that went downhill.
“I think so. Plus, it’ll give you some extra alone time with Austin.” She knocks elbows with me.
“Well, we only have a little over a month of that before we leave anyway.”
My phone rings on the table and my stomach jumps, thinking it might be Austin. He was supposed to call me after the interview today, but I haven’t heard from him yet.
“Huh. I don’t know who this is.” I slide my thumb over the screen. “Hello.”
“Hi, Holly, this is Marc Robinson.”
Marc is from the school board, and I’m surprised to hear from him on a Friday night. I grip the phone tighter.
“Good evening, Marc. Is something wrong?”
He hems and haws for a second as my anxiety grows. “Nothing wrong, per se, but we’ve received some surprising news.”
“Oh.” I wait for him to explain, glancing at my clock to see how much time I have before I have to leave.
“Principal Miller has decided not to return to work, which leaves us with an opening we need to fill.”
It takes a second to absorb his words. “Oh.”
He laughs. “That’s my sly way of asking you if you’d like the job permanently, Holly. We’ve gotten so many compliments from the parents about your senior interviews, and if we could implement those earlier in the year, I think it’d give our seniors more opportunity to achieve success.”
My hand moves to my chest. “Well, I have to say, I’m surprised. I wasn’t thinking this was a possibility.”
“Neither were we. Principal Miller had been adamant that she would be returning to work, but she’s decided motherhood is her calling.”
I sit there, thinking of everything this could mean. I glance at my mom dancing and singing to herself as she puts away the groceries. She hasn’t been this carefree ever.
“We obviously don’t expect an answer today,” Marc says. “Take the weekend and think about it.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“And Holly, we’ve heard the rumors regarding you and Austin Bailey. We don’t like to endorse relationships between teachers and principals, but if you accept the job, we trust that the two of you will act in a professional manner.”
Yep. I’m a real professional, blowing him in his classroom.
“Thank you so much for the offer. I’ll be in touch next week.”
“We’re happy to offer it to you. You’ve been a wonderful asset to the Lake Starlight School District. We’re eager for your response.”
As I hang up, my mom must notice that something’s wrong. She stops to sit down with me, and I let the phone slide onto the table.
“What’s going on?” my mom asks.
“They offered me the principal’s job on a full-time permanent basis. The woman I replaced doesn’t want to come back.”
<
br /> My mom’s hand covers mine. “Well, it’s always nice to be wanted.” She rises from her chair and goes back to putting away the groceries. “Should we leave soon so we’re not late?”
She starts singing again, and though I’m surprised by her laissez-faire reaction, I’m more preoccupied with wondering what Austin will think of this. Will he like the idea of me staying?
I pick up my phone to press Austin’s name. Then I remember he’s in California and it doesn’t matter if I stay here or not. He won’t be here anyway.
“Yeah,” I choke out. “I’ll grab my jacket.”
Good news shouldn’t make me this depressed.
* * *
My dad picks a much different restaurant this time around. There’s no fancy setup on the table, and this time he’s dressed in jeans and a T-shirt a man his age probably shouldn’t wear, but who am I to say?
“So, your mom is in town, huh?” he asks, ordering for us since he said he wants me to try something Alaskan. Whatever that means.
“Yeah, she’s shopping while we have dinner.”
He laughs. “She always was a control freak.”
My defense is on the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back. She can be that way, and he didn’t say it in a mean way. I have to accept their history isn’t mine and his.
“I didn’t mean that…”
I raise my hand. “It’s fine.”
He relaxes into his chair. “So, I got a visit this week from Savannah Bailey.”
I tilt my head.
“I heard you’re familiar with Austin Bailey?”
I nod but say nothing.
“I’m not sure if you heard, but after our last dinner, Savannah Bailey, who runs their lumber company, threw a mug at my face.”
I snicker. “I did.”
“I pressed charges, but in good faith of our budding relationship and after hearing that you and Austin Bailey are… well, friends, I’ve dropped them.”
I can’t help the feeling of warmth that settles into my chest that he did something because he thought it would make me happy. “That’s nice of you. They’re a great family.”