by Rayne, Piper
“They offered Elijah a full ride.”
I release a breath. “That’s awesome.”
“And they offered me the job.”
My stomach churns. “Wow. That’s great.” I force myself to sound happy even though I feel anything but.
I want him to be happy and live his life. I do. But for a little while tonight, I envisioned us working together at the high school. Me bundled up at his baseball games, cheering on the team. Us going home together and sliding into bed. Living a life in the town he was raised in and where we’d raise our own children.
And I feel like a fool for it.
Dana was right. I was stupid to think I wouldn’t be invested.
“Yeah,” is his response.
“So, when do you leave?”
“I haven’t accepted yet, but if I do, I’ll join them on the road after graduation.”
“Well, I’m super happy that you’re getting what you wanted.” My voice cracks, but I swallow down the pain and fill my tone with excitement. I truly am excited for him. It’s just that I’m equal parts devastated for myself.
“Thanks. I, um… read something.”
I sag into my mattress. “I thought you didn’t read Buzz Wheel?”
“I wanted to see what I missed today, and it seems I missed something pretty big.”
“Marc called today.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I haven’t decided. It’s… tempting, but I don’t know. Maybe if Buzz Wheel stops posting articles about me, I’d be more likely to stay.” I laugh.
He doesn’t. “Ironic, isn’t it? You’d be there and I’d be in California.”
“Yeah.” I roll over on my pillow, my mind now far away from phone sex.
It doesn’t escape me that he doesn’t tell me not to take the job and follow him to California. I gather that previous offer was a slip of the tongue. I have enough pride that I won’t invite myself along where I’m not wanted, and no way would I ask him to give up the dream he’s wanted since before I arrived in his life.
“Austin?” I interrupt our silence.
“Yeah?”
“Take the job. Chase your dream.”
His silence says exactly what I thought—he’d actually consider staying here for me. I would never want that. I always thought the saying was stupid, but it turns out if you really do love something enough, sometimes you have to let it go. And I don’t want Austin to come back to me. I want him to soar to the heights he was destined for.
“I’m kind of tired,” he says. “Do you mind if we continue this tomorrow night?”
“Of course. I’m tired too. Sleep well.”
“You too.”
The line dies, and I grip my phone, tears burning behind my eyelids. I have no reason to be upset. The agreement was supposed to stop this from happening.
Stupid Dana.
She’s always right.
Thirty-Five
Austin
You know that saying, time flies when you’re having fun?
It’s true. Who knew?
I’ve spent most of the past six weeks with Holly. I tried to show her all of Alaska. Even took her on a fishing boat but turns out she gets seasick. That was eventful. We hiked a bunch of trails and toured the glacier.
Now it’s graduation day for Lake Starlight High School, and in two days, I’m off for California.
“I hate this dress.”
The disdain in Phoenix’s voice draws my attention from my thoughts, and I look over to see Phoenix straightening her pink dress.
“I look shitty in pink.”
I straighten my tie in the mirror by the front door. “You look beautiful, and the gown covers your dress anyway.”
She stops and stares at me. “Why are you being so nice?” She smacks her forehead. “That’s right, because you’re abandoning us.”
I blow out a breath. Teenagers and drama go hand in hand, even when they’re getting what they want.
“Grandma Dori and Uncle Brian are meeting us at the school.” Brooklyn barrels out of the powder room, holding some medieval-looking contraption to her eyelash.
“Okay, we have to get going soon,” I say.
The door opens, and Savannah steps inside the house.
I look at her through the mirror. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
Over the last six weeks, Savannah and I have talked very little, only checking in over finances concerning the twins and who will be moving into the house after I leave. Phoenix will join me in California after the season is over, and Sedona finally came to her senses and will attend NYU in the fall to study journalism. I suspect the reason for her decision is because something happened between her and Jamison, but she’s keeping tightlipped about it.
“Can I talk to you?” Savannah says.
“We’re running late. Later, okay?”
She nods and heads into the kitchen behind Phoenix. “I can’t believe you guys are graduating.”
Savannah gushes on as though she’s the one who raised them. I’m the one who made sure they were bathed and fed. Who put on their Band-Aids and separated them when they tried to yank out one another’s hair?
I know I’m being hard on Sav, but I’m returning the favor for her attitude about Holly.
“We gotta go, guys,” I call to anyone who’s listening.
Rome slides down the bannister. “Let’s go.” He leans into me. “Wanna smoke a joint before we head out?”
“Uh, no. And you won’t be either.”
He shrugs. Great, now I have to keep a closer eye on him. This guardianship thing never ends.
“I’ll drive,” Savannah and I say at the same time.
“We’ll both drive,” I say, which is good, because I don’t want to be stuck in a car with her anyway.
We leave the house, Phoenix and Rome tagging along with me while Brooklyn and Sedona go with Savannah. Kingston is out of town, doing what he does, but Juno will meet us there.
I drive through Lake Starlight to the high school for my last time as a teacher, and it feels a little surreal. I can’t believe I’m actually going to help coach an USC baseball team.
The town had a parade for the graduating class last weekend, a sendoff to show how proud they are of them. It was nice to see JP on Elijah’s USC float, raising his hands for people to cheer for his friend.
“Just wait until you’re on that plane. Then you’ll feel the relief of leaving all this behind.” Rome slaps my shoulder.
I nod. He had no problem leaving, so I should take what he says to heart. I just didn’t think leaving to live out my dream would be as hard as it’s becoming.
We pull into the parking lot of the high school as Jack and Francie are climbing out of their truck.
“It’s freedom day!” Jack opens his arms and stares at the sky. “After this, your obligation is over.” He smacks my back.
“Jack.” Francie nudges him.
“What? This is what he’s been waiting for. Just don’t totally forget about us up here, okay?” His big hand grips the back of my neck.
“Never,” I croak.
Francie slides her arm through mine. “Who will eat most of Fay’s butterscotch candies?”
I laugh. “My replacement, I suppose.”
“Rumor is they haven’t found anyone yet.” She cringes. “But you know rumors.”
I nod. “They have all summer to find someone.”
“True.”
We enter the school, the hallways bustling with proud parents and family members. I’ve been to eleven Lake Starlight graduations, including mine and Savannah’s, so I know the drill well.
“I’ll meet you guys in there.” I head down the hall to the office.
The lights are off in the main office, but the one in Holly’s office is on, and she’s pacing around, looking at her notecards. She blows out a breath and stares at the ceiling. She’s gorgeous in a spring dress with a floral pattern and her hair pinned to one side. Her attenti
on returns to her notecards, but she spots me and does a double-take.
She gives me a heart-stopping smile.
Not once during these past six weeks, has she given me a reason to think she wants me to stay here now that she’s accepted the principal’s job. If anything, she’s encouraged me to go—looked at apartments with me online, shopped with me online for furniture, helped me pack up some of my things. We have plans for her to maybe come down for a visit but didn’t set anything in stone.
I can’t deny I’ll miss her. Even more than I’m willing to admit.
I walk through the main office and through her office door. “Nervous?” I want to touch her, but I stuff my hands into my pockets.
“Very. Feel like making up some interesting things about me?” She laughs, staring at her cards.
I take her robe off the coat hanger and hold it out for her. “First let’s get you dressed.”
She slides her arms through the openings and zips it up.
“Get used to it. This is your first of many.”
She smiles. “I know. I must be crazy. You’re fleeing and I’m staying.”
“You love this town. It suits you.”
She blows out a breath. “After they stopped reporting about me in Buzz Wheel.”
“Oh, you’re not in the clear yet.” I tap her nose with my finger.
“True. I’m sure they’ll post some heartbreaking goodbye scene between me and you.” She blanches and her words stall me for a second. She turns around and straightens everything on her desk. “I mean, you know how they love drama.”
“Holly?”
She looks to the side so I can see her profile, and she shakes her head, swallowing. “No, Austin. Let’s just go get this over with.”
She beelines it to the door before I have the guts to stop her and ask her what’s really going on behind that fake smile. By the time I reach the hall, she’s gone, so I walk to the gym by myself, my shoes clicking on the linoleum floor. Our auditorium isn’t big enough for all the parents and family members, so we have a stage brought into the gym. I walk into the room and see Grandma Dori in the front row of the audience section on the right side in the stands, exactly where she’s been for every Bailey grandchild’s graduation ceremony since my own. Phoenix and Sedona are seated with the graduates on the gym floor, facing the stage.
I climb the stairs of the stage and sit in my seat next to Francie. The faculty are all here to watch the kids we’ve witnessed grow up set out into the world.
“Giving the principal a pep talk?” Francie asks.
“Yeah.” I fiddle with the hem of my pants, pretending to fix something.
Holly approaches the microphone and taps her notecards on the podium to straighten them. “Hello, parents, family members, and friends of our graduating class. It’s been my pleasure to reside as your principal for the remainder of this year. I think I can speak for your teachers when I say that we’re sad to see you go, but happy at the same time. Your hard work and dedication has paid off, and today you graduate from high school to begin charting your own course. Some of you are staying local and others are moving away but know that wherever you end up in the world, we’re all here rooting for you. We’re going to start off with a few words from your valedictorian, and we then have a special tribute to one of our staff members who is leaving us this year.”
Francie nudges me.
I figured they’d do something. They do it for everyone who leaves. Too bad they didn’t forget in my case. It’s only going to make this harder than it already is.
“On that note, I give you your valedictorian, Becca Lancaster.” Holly steps away, clapping as Becca walks up to the podium to hoots and hollers from the crowd.
Becca delivers her speech about the future and living your dreams and how she hopes everyone fulfills them even if they seem impossible and scary. I can’t see Becca’s face, but I see Elijah’s fixated on her, heartbreak in his eyes. Becca got into Duke, so she’s heading there in the fall. They’ll be on opposite sides of the country, and I haven’t asked Elijah if they’re going to try the long-distance thing. I kind of hope for both their sakes they aren’t. I think it’s better to cut ties all at once, rather than prolong the pain with a slow, gentle tear through the fabric.
After Becca leaves the stage, wiping tears from her eyes, Holly takes the microphone again. “Thank you, Becca. Now we have a special tribute to our own Coach Bailey, who’s leaving us to head to USC to reside as the assistant baseball coach, where he’ll continue coaching Elijah.” She claps, her eyes glancing at me. “JP Andrews will be giving the tribute on behalf of the team.”
“Seriously? At least I won’t get emotional,” I murmur.
“True.” Francie pats my knee.
Holly takes her seat, and JP gets up on the stage with a baseball in his hand. He takes the microphone and looks back at me. “What can I say about Coach Bailey? I’ve called him just about every name in the book since freshman year.”
The crowd laughs.
“He’s a ball buster.” His eyes shoot to his mom. “Sorry. But it’s true. He also made me what I am today.”
“That’s not a good thing!” someone from the student body yells.
“Yeah, yeah, I can be an ass—jerk at times.”
Everyone laughs.
“Before you go off to college and work with perfect guys like Elijah.” He winks at him, and Elijah shakes his head with a laugh. “I think it’s important for you to know these last nine years with us weren’t wasted. Because you’ve gotten me and hundreds of other guys who couldn’t handle their emotions”—he moves his head side to side—“or hormones maybe, ready for adulthood. You taught us that we can handle whatever comes our way and gave us the skills on and off the field to deal with the ups and down of life.”
He clears his throat, and a knot forms in the middle of mine. “We all know that day nine years ago was the worst day of your life. Not only did you lose your parents, but you had to come here and teach a bunch of ungrateful kids. And though I wish your parents were in the stands right now, I’m happy you came here to teach, because I wouldn’t be walking out of this school believing in the man I am and the man I know I can be.”
JP sucks back a tear.
Francie is sniffling next to me.
Brooklyn’s a mess in the stands.
Savannah’s lip is quivering.
Even Grandma Dori is asking for a tissue.
I rise from the chair and head to the podium, using every ounce of willpower in my body to keep from breaking down and crying.
“So.” JP clears his throat again. “This ball is for you, signed by each player from this year. We might not become professional ball players, so it won’t be worth millions of dollars someday, but who knows… we might be able to become you one day, and that would be an even greater achievement.” He hands it to me, and I roll it around in my palm.
I hug him, but he shakes his head and shies away.
“Thank you, JP,” I say, gripping his shoulder. “And all of you. My players, my students, my coworkers, my bosses.” My eyes land on Holly, who’s dabbing her eyes with a tissue. “My family and the entire town of Lake Starlight, because you all made me the man I am. I’ll never cherish a baseball more than this one.” I hold it up. “It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later.”
I step away, knowing I didn’t say nearly enough, but unable to say more.
Holly squeezes my forearm as I pass, a small smile on her face. She steps back up to the podium. “Now, let’s get you guys graduated!”
Everyone cheers, and Francie leaves my side to announce A through F.
I stand when Phoenix and Sedona’s names are announced, and I hug each of them before they descend the stairs back to their seats.
Elijah gives me a thumbs-up.
JP smirks.
Becca smiles from ear to ear.
All my students are looking ahead to their future, so why am I staring back at my past?
Thirty-Six<
br />
Holly
“Everyone, move your tassel over to the other side of your cap.” I wait for all the students to do so. “Congratulations, you have now graduated high school!”
We asked everyone not to throw their hats, but JP is the first to do so. No surprise there.
As the teachers descend the steps to offer their congratulations to the students, I wind around the back of the stage and head to my office.
My coat is on and I have my purse in my hand before Austin catches up to me. Shit. I wanted to be gone before he found me.
He knocks on my door even though it’s open. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“You have somewhere to be?” he asks and steps in.
“Um… I have to pick up some bread.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “Bread?”
“You know my mom, she’s always saying we need more groceries.”
“Even after she moved out?”
Fuck. Where is my brain? My mom decided to relocate here after I told her I was staying, and she’s since found her own place. “I forgot, what with it being only a few days now without her.”
“How does she like her new place?”
I nod. “She likes it. I think it’s a little too close to your uncle Brian’s, but she insists they’re just friends.”
He laughs and steps further into the room. “Next thing you know, they’ll be on Lake Starlight Buzz Wheel.”
I smile. “Yeah. You’ll have to keep up with it from now on to know what’s going on.”
He nods and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “We’re taking the twins out for dinner. Did you want to join my family?”
“Oh, I don’t think so. With Savannah and everything.”
He takes my hand. “I only have two days, and I’d like to spend every minute I can with you.”
There goes that tingling in my nose. What am I supposed to say to that?
“Okay,” I whisper. The truth is, I want to spend it with him too. “What about your family and the fact…”
His lips land on mine. My knees weaken and I grip his shirt, never having enough of his kisses. I push him away.