by Ginny Dye
“And it had to be one or the other?” Rose asked.
“I thought so,” Carrie murmured. “Until I met several women at school who had children. They came to medical school anyway. They decided the two years away from their children wouldn’t harm them, and they hoped their decision to become doctors would encourage their children to follow their own desires.”
“Have you been trying?” Rose asked.
Carrie hesitated again. She suspected she should be talking to Robert about this, but she couldn’t imagine voicing words that might make him feel less adequate as a man. “He was so wonderful with John and Jasper tonight,” she whispered.
“He is all the time,” Rose responded. “He would be a fabulous father.”
The simple statement tightened the band around Carrie’s heart so strongly she feared she would explode. “I know,” she groaned.
“And you would be a wonderful mother,” Rose said.
Carrie nodded. “I would like to think so…” Her voice trailed off. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get the chance to find out. We have been trying,” she admitted, unable to stop the rush of tears.
“You certainly couldn’t have had much time to try,” Rose replied, her concerned voice laced with amusement. “You’re not here very much.”
Carrie knew Rose was teasing, but the words sliced her heart into ribbons. The tears pooling in her eyes began to stream down her face.
“Carrie! I’m so sorry,” Rose cried. “That was a terrible thing to say!”
Carrie shook her head. “It’s the truth,” she managed. Then she felt a surge of hope. “Maybe that’s one of the reasons I feel I have to stay. Perhaps if I am here more, Robert and I will be able to conceive a child.” Speaking the words planted a fragile seed of belief in her heart.
“I hope so,” Rose whispered.
Carrie thought back to the afternoon’s passion by the river. Perhaps…
Chapter Twenty-Two
Carrie could feel the excitement in the air when she stumbled downstairs the next morning. When she pushed through the kitchen door, Annie held out a steaming cup of coffee without a word. “Thank you,” she mumbled, sighing with relief as she sipped the hot brew.
“You and Rose talk out everything you needed to?” Annie asked as she began to scoop a tray full of perfectly browned biscuits into a large wooden bowl.
Carrie nodded, quite sure she couldn’t form coherent words yet.
Annie finished the tray and then stepped back to look at her, one sturdy fist planted on her hip. “You don’t look much like a woman who gonna ride in that tournament this afternoon,” she scolded.
Carrie gasped as she sucked in too much hot coffee. Coughing, she reached for a glass of water. Once she had cooled her throat and mouth she stared at Annie. “How do you know?”
“That you gonna ride in that tournament? You think everybody here don’t know you’re gonna prove what a woman can do?”
Carrie grinned. She heard nothing but warm approval in Annie’s voice. “Tired or not, I’m going to win,” she announced.
“You’ve got some stiff competition,” Annie warned.
Carrie shrugged. “Robert, Cliff and Moses are good horsemen, but they don’t have Granite. Are any of the other men riding?”
Annie shook her head, a smile dancing across her lips.
Carrie’s mind was waking up as the coffee worked its magic. She took another sip and leaned against the counter. “Out with it,” she ordered. “Who else is riding? I don’t know of any men who could begin to compete with the rest of us.”
“Nope. You be right about that…” Annie let her voice trail off as she watched Carrie closely.
“Then who…?” Carrie’s eyes widened. “Amber? Is Amber riding?”
Annie chuckled. “Yep. I done put my wager money on Amber,” she revealed.
“Amber? She’s a little girl, Annie!”
“A little girl who done been practicing more than anyone else around here,” Annie retorted. “She’s out there every evening until it’s too dark to even see them rings she be trying to catch.”
Carrie smiled with delight. She wasn’t worried about a ten-year-old child beating her, but she loved the fact that society had changed enough to allow it to happen. This was the first time for a woman to ride in a tournament, and now she was going to be joined by a child. “I love it!”
Annie eyed her. “You don’t seem to be too worried.”
“She doesn’t have Granite,” Carrie replied. She was confident no one could beat her horse. The only horse that could come close was…
“Amber be riding Eclipse.”
Carrie lowered her cup and stared. “Eclipse? Amber is riding Eclipse?” She tried to envision the little girl on the towering Thoroughbred, but her mind wouldn’t form the image.
“Sho ‘nuff.” Annie’s voice was gruff with pride.
“He’s too much for her to handle,” Carrie cried, pushing aside the thought that Eclipse was the only horse on the plantation that would provide competition for Granite. “Robert will never let her ride him.”
Robert entered the kitchen just then, his face glowing from the cold. He had clearly been up for hours before her. “Amber is riding Eclipse,” he informed her.
Carrie was eager to tell Robert the knowledge she was hugging close to her heart, but now was not the time. “And you believe she can handle him?”
Robert hesitated. “I wouldn’t let her ride him if I thought it wasn’t safe,” he replied, though his eyes said he was concerned.
Carrie’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you would ride Eclipse.”
“I did too,” Robert admitted ruefully.
“Little Amber is a smart girl,” Annie chortled as she pulled out another tray of cookies from the oven.
Carrie turned to Robert for an explanation. She was surprised to see a red flush creeping up his neck. “Robert?”
Robert grinned. “Amber made a wager with me. She bet me she could learn how to vault onto Eclipse before today.”
“That’s impossible!” Carrie cried. “She’s too small.”
“That’s what I thought,” he responded dryly. “Now I’ve decided Amber is not just a little girl. She is clearly part bird. You should have seen her flying through the air to land on Eclipse’s back.”
Carrie gaped at him. “And Eclipse let her?” She had seen how the spirited stallion fidgeted when anyone approached him to mount.
Robert laughed. “My rebellious stud turns into a prissy mare when Amber is around. I swear he would kneel down to make himself lower if she needed him to.” He shook his head, his eyes glowing with pride and admiration. “She showed me yesterday. Amber walked right up to Eclipse, took one little jump, and soared straight onto his back. She reached for his mane halfway into the air, but the only reason she needed it was to keep herself from flying right over the top of him. I swear that horse looked as proud as she did.”
Carrie laughed, trying to envision what he was describing. “You said she was a natural. I’m quite sure I couldn’t have done that at her age.”
“You didn’t have to,” Robert replied. “I’m quite sure you could have done the same thing if you had equal motivation.”
Carrie smiled. “To win the tournament,” she murmured. She was duly impressed but still not concerned. “Who are you going to ride now that Amber has claimed your horse?” Her lips twitched with amusement. “I don’t see a repeat of six years ago in your future,” she teased.
Robert grinned. “Time will tell, wife. Time will tell,” he said.
Carrie stared at him, running through all the horses in her mind. Not one of them could offer competition to Granite or Eclipse. She took another sip of coffee, more confident than ever that she was going to win.
Robert read her thoughts. “Victory is not based solely on the speed of the horse,” he said calmly.
“Exactly,” Carrie agreed. “Which makes me all the more confident. Women are far more patient and focused than men.”
Robert laughed. “We’ll see, my dear.”
Carrie felt a rush of happiness so strong she thought she might take flight just like Amber had. Being in the fragrant kitchen… Teasing with Robert… Seeing Annie’s indulgent smile… Hearing the plantation come to life… To know she wasn’t going to be leaving caused her entire body to vibrate with joy. The future would take care of itself. The now was quite sufficient to keep her from thinking about it.
“You two can keep on thinkin’ one of you gonna win,” Annie said. “I’m keepin’ my wager right on little Amber.”
Carrie leapt up and twirled in a circle. “It’s a beautiful day!” she cried. Laughing at the surprised looks on Robert and Annie’s faces, she sprang forward and gave both of them a hug. “Bring on the competition,” she declared. Ducking away from Annie, she grabbed two biscuits stuffed with ham, stuck her tongue out at Robert, and strolled from the kitchen. “I have a tournament to prepare for.”
Carrie found Amber brushing Eclipse in the aisle. She had to stand on a wooden box to reach his back, but Eclipse was as still as a docile cow. Carrie chuckled. Robert was right—the spirited stallion had been enchanted by a little girl.
Amber looked up as Carrie approached. “Robert tell you?”
Carrie grinned. “That you are going to be my stiffest competition?” She nodded. “I welcome the challenge.” She reached up to pat Eclipse’s gleaming neck. “I’m also very proud of you. Robert told me about the bet you won.”
Amber grinned back at her. “My mama and Rose keep telling me I can do anything a boy can do,” she confided. “I reckon I’m out to prove it.”
Carrie looked up when Granite hung his head out of the stall and snorted. “We’re both going to prove just what females are capable of, young lady. May the best woman win!”
Amber bobbed her head. “May the best woman win!” she shouted. “Or girl…” she added with a grin.
Carrie laughed and settled down to the business of getting her horse ready. She knew she wasn’t needed in the kitchen. Annie, Polly, June and all the workers’ wives had created mountains of food so large it would probably take the entire state of Virginia to eat it all. Of course, she knew there would be throngs of people pouring toward the house soon. All the workers and their families were going to be joined by all of Rose’s students, as well as their parents. Carrie knew invitations had gone out to most of the white plantation families in the area, but no one had accepted. Her lips tightened as she thought about it, but she pushed it out of her mind. Today was going to be a celebration of the best harvest in Cromwell Plantation history. She wasn’t going to let anything spoil it.
Carrie hummed as she groomed Granite. She inhaled deep breaths of the barn air, her heart once again bursting with happiness. She wasn’t going to return to the sooty, snow-clogged, Philadelphia streets. A vision of Moyamensing thrust its way into her joy, but she pushed it back resolutely. She knew she had given the residents what they needed to thwart almost any sickness that could invade that winter. Carolyn would keep watch on them. Biddy and Faith also knew how to reach Janie.
Carrie’s hand froze. Janie! What was Janie going to think when she realized Carrie wouldn’t be returning with her? She had been so thrilled with her decision that she hadn’t stopped to think how it would impact Janie. She was certain nothing could change her mind, but she just hoped her friend and housemate would understand.
Pushing the uncertainty from her mind, she focused on the tournament. It had been two years since she had even played around on Granite to capture the rings, but she had practiced it in her heart and mind so many times she was quite confident her body would respond. She could hear Sarah’s voice in her head. “The mind be a real powerful thin’, girl. You fix somethin’ real hard in your mind, and your body gonna do it.”
Carrie focused her mind as she brushed Granite’s coat. She also remembered…
Robert looked splendid astride Granite at the Blackwell Tournament. She had begun to lose her heart to him the night before. When she saw his dark good looks on top of her horse and watched him ride to victory, she had known she could love him. It seemed like an entire lifetime had passed since that sunny afternoon six years ago. And, indeed, it had. They had fallen in love, married, survived a horrible war, and were now forging a life together. Carrie could hardly even remember the carefree girl she had been, but she was comfortable with the woman she had become.
“Carrie!”
Amber was tugging at her arm. She jolted back from the past and stared down at her. “Amber? What’s wrong?”
Amber was staring out the barn door. “I didn’t think there were any other white people coming,” she said anxiously. “Who are those people?”
Carrie stiffened, certain Amber was worried about whites making trouble for them. She put down her brush, moved to the barn door, and looked out. What she saw made her laugh with surprised delight. “They are friends!” she called over her shoulder as she ran for the wagon rolling down the road.
“Carrie!”
Carrie was still laughing when the wagon pulled to a stop. “What in the world are you two doing here?”
Thomas appeared on the porch. “Hello, Captain Jones! Welcome, Susan!”
Carrie stared at her father. “You knew these two were coming?”
“I invited them,” her father answered with a grin that made him look years younger. Carrie could almost forget the war had aged him before her eyes.
Susan jumped out of the wagon and embraced Carrie warmly. “It’s wonderful to see you again, Carrie.”
“And you,” Carrie replied, as drawn as ever to Susan’s bright blue eyes and dark hair. She was a female replica of her brother. “What a wonderful surprise! How did you get your brother away from Oak Meadows?”
Captain Jones looked at Thomas. “No one knew we were coming?”
“Only Abby,” Thomas admitted.
Carrie didn’t understand the flash in her father’s eyes, but she knew she wasn’t imagining it. What did he have up his sleeve? She began to get an inkling when she saw Mark and Susan turn to look at the pasture. Their eyes widened with appreciation when they saw the colts and fillies roaming the fields, prancing and playing in the early morning chill.
“Oh my,” Susan whispered as she raised her hand to her mouth.
“That’s quite a crop of babies,” Mark said, his voice almost reverent.
Carrie shot a look at her father. He smiled back at her with wide-eyed innocence. Then he winked and turned away. She laughed and hooked her arm through Susan’s. “I bet you would like to see their sire.”
“I would,” Susan murmured as Mark fell in beside her.
Carrie was suddenly very glad everyone was busy somewhere else on the plantation.
Mark stopped short when he entered the barn, his eyes locked on Eclipse. He walked forward slowly, his gaze devouring the perfectly formed Thoroughbred.
“He’s stunning,” Susan said as she stepped forward to stroke his neck.
“He’s the second best horse in the world!” Amber stepped forward and jumped onto the box. She laid a protective hand on Eclipse’s neck. “You can’t have him.”
Carrie smiled. “You have nothing to worry about, Amber. Eclipse will never leave Cromwell Plantation.”
Amber relaxed and then eyed the two strangers. “Are you the two that bought Oak Meadows?”
“We are,” Mark replied as he continued to gaze at Eclipse. Finally he turned his attention to Amber. “And you must be Amber. Robert told us about you.”
Amber lost her suspicious look. “I’m one of Robert’s trainers,” she announced. “My brother, Clint, is the other one. He’s down helping to get the arena ready for the tournament.”
“I bet you’re excited to watch it,” Susan said.
Amber grinned. “I’m not watching. I’m riding!”
Carrie understood when Susan and Mark gaped at her.
Susan was the first to recover. “And who are you going to ride?”
she asked.
Amber laid a proud hand on the Thoroughbred’s neck. “Eclipse,” she answered firmly.
Carrie finally took pity on Mark and Susan when their silence continued to stretch out. “Amber can handle Eclipse,” she assured them. “This horse would do anything for her.”
Susan smiled. “It’s about time this ridiculous sport was open to women,” she declared.
“And to girls!” Amber added seriously.
“And to girls!’” Susan agreed. Her attention turned back to the pasture. “You helped train the colts and fillies?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Amber said. “Are you the ones my mama said was going to come buy them?”
Carrie tensed, but relaxed again when Susan and Mark merely smiled.
“Let’s just say we’re in the market,” Mark murmured. His eyes caught Carrie’s over Amber’s head.
Carrie shrugged. “No one other than my father and Abby had any idea you were coming. Polly is Amber’s mother. She has been telling Robert all summer that someone was coming to buy the horses.”
Mark nodded. “No one will buy them because you choose to treat blacks equally?”
“That’s about it,” Carrie agreed, not wanting to say any more until Robert had returned. She could hardly wait to see his face when he spied his friends.
Mark nodded, seeming to know she wouldn’t say anymore. He turned back to Amber. “Will you tell us about the ones you have been training?”
Amber nodded and hopped down off the box. She unsnapped Eclipse’s lines and led him into his stall, her slim, small form making him look even more massive. She reached up to pat his neck, murmured something to him that made him duck his head, and then pulled the door shut. Eclipse stuck his head out immediately and blew softly into her hair. Amber giggled and reached up to pat his nose. “Right this way,” she called.