He hadn’t said he wanted to meet her again.
What did she even want? She had better figure it out quickly. Otherwise, she’d be wasting his time if she didn’t actually have any ideas of what she hoped for from him, for them.
Zu appeared in the doorway of her office, lightly rapping his knuckles against the open door. The broad man filled the space and sometimes Arin wondered if he turned ever so slightly to clear the sides of the doorway when he walked through. Buck was at his side and King came around from his place next to her desk to sniff noses.
Of the dogs on the team, King and Buck were the two most dominant, and their greetings were always a little stiff-legged and wary. They got along because their handlers watched them carefully and because there weren’t often reasons for them to test each other. In a lot of ways, the dogs reflected Arin and Zu.
“Any feedback on how I handled the situation?” She preferred to preempt discussions with leadership, and Zu was one of the few commanding officers she’d met who wasn’t threatened by her tendency to manage up. He considered her efficient, valued her initiative.
Zu shook his head once. “Not what I would’ve done but your approach was effective.”
It wasn’t a criticism. It was more like an acknowledgment of their different methods for tackling a problem.
“Landon was helpful.” Zu surprised her by adding the praise for Jason. It might not sound like much, but from Zu it was a freaking shining compliment.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to make the suggestion, but Zu was looking to expand the team and Jason deserved every opportunity out there. She’d never mentioned it to Jason because she hadn’t had the chance in the last several days to talk to Zu first. “He gets along well with the dogs. He doesn’t let them push him around. He’s got potential as a handler.”
Okay, maybe she was fishing to give Jason a reason to stay. Something other than her feelings for him, which she was still unpacking mentally.
“His experience in EOD is valuable, too. I’ve seen more than one call for experts like him.” Zu paused. “Usually people who want to work with dogs seek out the handler positions. Maybe he gets along fine, could even take over a working dog if something were to happen to a handler in a combat situation, but he’d have asked more about what we do if working with dogs was his calling.”
Arin nodded. What else could she say? Zu was right and she’d been searching for a reason to keep Jason close. The Search and Protect team needed good people, yes, but those people also needed to embrace every aspect of what they did as a vocation. It couldn’t just be a good idea and they couldn’t take Jason just because he got along with the dogs.
Zu stood there, still and apparently tapped out for commentary. After a moment, he huffed out a breath. “You and I, we don’t use words well when we talk about our feelings.”
She stared up at him, startled. “We don’t.”
“The man doesn’t know he has a reason to stay.” Zu crossed his arms over his chest. “But he gets you. Try him. He’ll hear you.”
“I…”
Zu didn’t wait for her to respond. He turned on his heel and left, message delivered. Buck followed. After a moment of staring after him, she chuckled quietly. He didn’t want to hear what she was thinking because it was meant for Jason.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jason had his duffel bag and not much else in terms of tangible belongings. He stood in Arin’s office and wondered what he should do next. She wasn’t there and neither was King. At least if King had been waiting, Jason would know she’d be back before long. But no, she’d left without waiting to say good-bye.
He deserved it. He’d left her apartment and gone over her head to make sure he’d be able to accompany them on the mission to the container ship. He could imagine what she might’ve thought, the hurt she might’ve felt, when she’d realized he’d left. He could guess at her anger when she’d arrived at Search and Protect headquarters to find him there and ready to join the mission with Zu Anyanwu’s blessing, regardless of what her thoughts were on the matter.
She’d been completely professional on the boat and more. Then she’d shut down again as soon as they’d gotten transport back to Oahu, and he didn’t blame her for withdrawing. But he’d thought he’d at least have a chance to talk out what was between them once he’d gotten cleaned up.
He sighed. Maybe he should’ve taken the risk and tried to talk to her while he’d still been covered in crap. Standing in her office, waiting for her to come back, wasn’t an option. Anyanwu had been tolerant so far, but Jason couldn’t haunt the place.
“What are my options?” he muttered, not to anyone in particular. There wasn’t even a dog to hear him. He was literally left talking to himself.
If one of the other Search and Protect people popped into Arin’s office, they were going to ask what he was doing. Or maybe he should look for somebody. Arin might’ve left a message with one of them.
He stopped himself. It was an age of modern technology and Arin had his mobile number. She could’ve texted him and been more certain he’d get the message than leaving a verbal with someone who might or might not see him inside an office where he didn’t belong. He could call her but he was looking for some kind of sign she actually wanted to talk to him.
Next possibility.
She could have gone home. He knew the way to her apartment and he didn’t need a car to get there. But the building required a key or virtual access code to enter the lobby and the key to access the elevators, not to mention her apartment door. He could find his way through all of the security, sure, but she might not be there once he had gotten through. She was unpredictable at best, but the one thing he’d learned about her was that she didn’t like to be any place where someone would look for her. Her apartment wasn’t where she’d be at the moment.
Next option.
He could search the island for her, but she was every bit as wily as he was, and it’d be a waste of time to try to find her before his flight in the next couple of hours. Even if he had a few more days, he still probably couldn’t catch up with her on the island if she didn’t want to be found. Plus, she had the means to leave the island. Running around looking for her didn’t make sense and asking her little sister could be perceived as an invasion into Arin’s family life. Considering that he wasn’t Arin’s favorite person at the moment, her teammate Raul wasn’t likely to welcome Jason anywhere near Mali. And Mali wasn’t likely to give up any information about Arin without Arin’s okay.
Fine. He had one real option, to go ahead and leave, which was what he’d been wanting to do. Really.
So why did he feel like shit?
He walked out of the Search and Protect headquarters, letting the glass doors slide closed behind him. He couldn’t turn back and wait for her in her office now; he didn’t have an access card to reenter. He kept walking, continuing to narrow down his options with every step. As he waited for the elevator, he considered his next action. He could call a cab or use an app to get a car service from the lobby of the building. The elevator arrived and he stepped inside, punching the button for the ground floor. Car, airport, new job; he had his immediate next steps and he was thinking further ahead just like he’d intended, taking a step closer to his dream of establishing his own company with his own team. He still felt like his future was about as boxed in as he was in the damned elevator. By the time it reached ground floor he’d revised his thought process.
He needed to see her again.
She’d told him she wasn’t good with words and she’d probably made herself scarce so she didn’t blurt out something she’d regret later. But he wanted her to tell him what was inside her head. He wanted her to know he’d listen. And when she was done, he hoped she’d let him tell her how much she meant to him.
She gave everything she had to her little sister and to her team and to King. Sure she was violent, in a beautiful way, and she might be always ready to dive into a fight. But she wasn’t addicted to t
he fight itself. She wanted to clear the way for gentler people to thrive. Arin was hung up on people describing her as violent, but he saw the way she cooked and cared for people. He thought about rice balls and hot dogs shaped like cephalopods and the heart that shaped those things. Arin was a nurturing, loving person inside the prickly exterior she’d established to protect herself. She’d opened up to him and he’d told her he was leaving.
He was definitely an idiot.
All of that flashed through his head as the elevator door finally opened. Jason stopped cold.
King sat in the lobby.
Okay, it could’ve been another black and tan German Shepherd Dog who looked exactly like King, but Jason was pretty damned sure it was Arin’s dog. He could tell King from Taz at this point. Besides, who else would be sitting in the lobby of the building where Search and Protect headquarters were located?
The elevator doors started to close with him still inside and Jason had to reach out to stop them. It took another full three seconds for his brain to reconnect with the rest of his body and get his feet moving to carry him forward. By the time he reached King, he saw Arin sitting curled up in a chair partially hidden by a giant potted plant.
A random part of his mind noted how horrible the decor in the lobby was from a security perspective. There were too many dead zones and big things chosen out of consideration for aesthetic rather than taking into account the way they blocked line of sight.
The part of his brain that interacted with people and made words sent up a red flag. He was staring at Arin and hadn’t said anything to her yet. “I was looking for you.”
Well, he hadn’t started but he’d decided to, even if he had to miss his flight.
She flowed out of the chair and stepped forward until she was standing toe to toe with him. “I let you find me.”
Arin hadn’t meant to sound so arrogant. She’d rehearsed what she planned to say a bunch of times inside her head so she wouldn’t be off-putting when he finally came downstairs. But he’d spoken first and she’d been thrown off by the need to answer him. She could get back on script but now she felt stupid and short-circuited.
“You said you had a flight to catch after you showered.” She clung to an existing fact.
She’d been floored when he mentioned it on the way back from the container ship. He’d timed it so close. If they’d taken longer or had to go farther out to sea or had more follow-up responsibilities with the Hawaiian authorities, he’d have missed his flight. Okay, it was easy to reschedule a flight. What had gouged her was him booking the flight in the first place, as if he couldn’t wait to be out of here once he’d completed his quest.
Jason stared at her and nodded, not saying anything.
His dark hair was slicked back a bit, still damp from his recent shower. He hadn’t shaved, so he had a really sexy day’s growth over his jaw. And how had she not ever teased him over the cleft in his chin or the severe expression he got when he drew his brows together. He was devastatingly handsome, she had to admit, and it was even more striking when she wasn’t working hard to ignore his magnetism.
She wondered how many full nights of sleep it would take to heal the shadows under his eyes. Considering how tired she was, it’d be at least a long weekend for her to overcome her sleep deficit. They both needed to rest, take care of their bodies. Maybe he would, but she was going to dive into work as quickly as possible. She wasn’t ready to process her memories of him, at least for now. As if she could forget what his touch did to her.
“You should sleep on the plane.”
He scowled at her. “I doze but I don’t get real sleep surrounded by strangers, trapped in a tin can.”
Neither did she. If she was with her team, she could sleep deep despite the noise and lack of comfortable seating. But if she was on a commercial flight, there were too many strangers and never enough room to keep them all from jostling elbows.
He reached into one of his pants pockets and pulled out his phone, checking the display.
“You have to go.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“I was going to give you a ride, then I decided not to.” Because it would’ve been the most awkward car ride in history and she wasn’t going to be able to be completely forthcoming if she had to split part of her attention to keeping them safe on the ride.
It hit her belatedly just how spiteful her last comment could sound. He didn’t wince or get angry at her statement, though. He just shook his head. “I called a car service. It’s all good.”
Except she’d been doing a lot of thinking trapped inside her head and so far, tiny babble had come out of her mouth. As conversation went, she was making Zu seem like a freaking chatterbox.
“I’ve asked Zu to step up our contracts in Southeast and East Asia.” There. She’d conveyed an important bit of information.
“Yeah?” Jason stopped looking at his phone display and met her gaze.
Their eyes locked and she felt herself falling hard for him all over again. What man had any right to have such amazing lashes framing his beautiful eyes? “Raul is on the Hawaiian task force and he should be able to cover activities here on the island on his own with Jones behind bars. It’ll free up the rest of the Search and Protect resources to be staffed to other contracts. I asked Zu to focus mine in Southeast and East Asia.”
Facts were easy. She needed to get to why.
Jason only nodded. “Why the preference?”
She could kiss him for the question. She could answer questions. “You.”
“Say again?” He was startled. He might’ve squeaked.
“This job is the right thing for you. Take it.” She swallowed, trying to wet her dry mouth and throat. But she was too nervous. “I want you to build the life you need. But I want you to know, I’ll be around. You said you’d be working twenty-four seven, but people have to sleep sometime. I’ll keep you up to date on when I’m in your area and if you can spare a few hours, we’ll catch up on rest together.”
She’d said it all in a rush. It was still only factual options, the how and not the why. She needed to give him the why.
Jason nodded slowly, his gaze darting over her shoulder and back to her. “My car is here.”
She nodded and stepped to the side.
He walked forward until he was even with her, then his hand darted out and caught her by the nape of her neck, pulling her in for a kiss so hot, so raw, they both ended up breathless. “Call. I’ll make time.”
She shook her head. “You do your thing. I’ll fit into your schedule. Or I won’t. It’ll depend on the way my contracts line up with your work. I’ll adjust. Nine months, a year, doesn’t matter. I’ve been on longer deployments.”
“Same.” He grinned, then, and she became aware of her heart beating as if it’d been stopped up until now.
She needed to tell him why. “I’ve spent every day since I found you on Big Island wondering when you were going to leave, sure you were going to. You’re leaving. Fine. You matter to me, Jason, so I’m coming after you. You’ve gone from job to job and no one valued you enough to keep you. This is me, telling you I value you, I want you, I need you. So I’ll keep coming to you until you come back to me or you tell me you don’t want this.”
His hand tightened on her neck and he pulled her in for another kiss. This one left her weak in the knees and he pulled her up against his hard body, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist.
“Your car is here,” she gasped.
“I know.” He bent and picked up his duffel bag, still carrying her, and started walking through the lobby to the car. “King, let’s go.”
“Let me down.” She beat his shoulder with a fist, not hard. “You can’t take us with you now.”
He reached the car—which turned out to be an SUV—and opened the door, waving at King until her dog hopped in and landed in the trunk area. Then Jason cradled her head to his shoulder as he climbed inside. “We’ve got ten minutes to the airport and I’m
about to make the most of it.”
Straddling his lap, Arin glanced over her shoulder at the driver. The man had his eyes glued to the road. She turned back to Jason. “You are incorrigible.”
He laughed. “You are amazing and I love you, Arin Siri. Don’t forget I said it first because we’re going to call each other often and I want to hear you say it back to me at the end of every phone call.”
I love you. His words cracked her chest wide open.
He settled his hands on her hips and leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “I mean it. You’re everything. Even if you weren’t coming out to find me, I’d come back to you. I love you.”
She placed one hand on the side of his face and her other over his heart, feeling his accelerated heart rate. It was a match for hers.
“Tell me,” he whispered. “It’s okay. I’ll catch you.”
She closed her eyes, leaning in to his forehead and letting their breaths mingle. “I love you.”
And she fell completely for him in that moment, no safety lines.
Raul’s lucky to have the best partner a man could ask for: a highly trained, fiercely loyal German Shepherd Dog named Taz. But their first mission in Hawaii puts them to the test when a kidnapping ring sets its sights on the bravest woman Raul’s ever met…
See the next page for an excerpt from
Total Bravery.
How can I help you?” The man on the other end of the call didn’t laugh or crack a joke in response to Mali’s request for help. Honestly, it’d come out as a plea, and she’d been half expecting him to dismiss it. He didn’t ridicule her or tell her he’d get her sister to call her back when she returned.
He was paying attention, and he was absolutely serious.
She swallowed against a fear-parched throat, relief and hope trickling in past the constriction in her chest. “There’s someone—several people—chasing me. I think I lost them in the crowds at the big shopping center.”
Fierce Justice Page 24